Denial Is Useless (6/?)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Skins! I wish I did though!
Chapter Six:
It starts a week after that. Cook stops coming round, at all. She hasn’t seen him any day for the past week, not just seen, hasn’t heard from him either. No one’s seen him. She’s asked around, called a few people, called Kevin who it turns out she has met before lots of times. Fucking Cook always being bloody right. She hates him so fucking much sometimes. Sitting on the end of her bed, pressing her phone to her chin she sighs and looks in the mirror. Hairs a mess and bags under her eyes. She’s bored out of her fucking skull, needs Cook to function. Doesn’t have any other friends. Except Emily.
Hands dial the number for her, presses the metal of the phone hard against the side of her head as the ringing vibrates into her ear. Bites her lip a little, chews it. “Hello?” A mumbled voice asks from the other side of the phone. She doesn’t say anything, keeps biting her lip. “Hello?”
“Hey, Em,” Tries to sound cheerful, just sounds creepy. “How are you?”
“Tired, sleepy cause someone woke me up.” Doesn’t sound upset, just sounds playful. “What about you?”
“I’m fine.” Fuck sake.
“You’re fine?” Emily asks sceptically. No one is ever fine when they fucking say that. Stupid.
“Yeah, fine,” Stop fucking saying it. “What are you doing today?”
“Sleeping,” Naomi rolls her eyes and flops down on the bed behind her. “And when I do eventually stop doing that I’ll be doing not a lot because it’s pissing it down with rain.”
“Come round?” Naomi doesn’t mean to sound as hopeful as she does when she asks, can’t help it. Needs to see her.
“Okay.” Emily replies.
“When?”
“When I’m done sleeping.” Naomi rolls her eyes.
“You’re awake. Get over here now.” She almost grunts down the phone to the redhead.
“No, I’m not. I’m still sleeping Naomi. Listen,” Emily starts to lightly snore down the phone and Naomi rolls her eyes with a light laugh “See, I can’t possibly come over yet. Impossible.”
“Emily.” Says it in a tone that is typical grumpy Naomi. “Now.”
“No.” She’s teases her. Hates it. Secretly loves it.
“I swear to God, Em, if you’re not round here in the next twenty minutes I’m coming to your house to get you! I’ll brave high water and Katie Fitch.” She’s smiling now. Fucking Emily always making her bloody smile. She’s a miserable bitch most of the time. Fucking redhead.
A fake gasp is her response from the other side of the phone. “You’d do all that just for little ol’ me?” Emily teases. “Well, okay, then.” Naomi smiles down the phone, goofiest thing ever.
“So, you coming now, then?”
“No, still sleeping!”
“Emily, urgh!” Naomi moans. Emily laughs.
“I’ll be there in twenty.”
“Make it fifteen, bitch.” Naomi replies.
“Yes, ma’am.” When she hands up Naomi rolls her eyes for the last time that morning and throws her phone down on the bed. Fucking tease. Forces herself up off the bed and heads over to her dresser, looks at herself and sighs. Twenty minutes before Emily gets here. Off the phone to her for two minutes and she’s already bored out of her mind. Urgh, what’s happening to her? What’s Emily Fitch doing to her? Making her give a fuck. Hates herself because of it. Starts to make herself look a bit better because she looks like shit right now. Takes her five minutes, she’s not very girlie, doesn’t care that much what she looks like. In Katie Fitches words her style just ‘screams dyke’, fucking bitch? What does she know? She’s the one that wears leopard skin every day of the week, when exactly did that become fashionable again? Just looks skanky. Slut. God, she hates that girl. Naomi makes her way downstairs, finds her mum in the kitchen reading the paper again. “Friend’s coming round.” Doesn’t ask, tells her. Sometimes she feels like she’s the parent in this ‘relationship’, doesn’t have a problem with that either.
“James?” Is her mum’s reply.
“No.”
Gina puts down the paper and turns to look at her daughter. “Another friend?” Naomi’s half way through making herself a cup of tea, kettles boiling.
“Yes.”
“What’s their name?” She would be interested now.
“Emily.”
“Lovely name, does she go to your college?” What is this? Twenty questions?
“Yes.”
“That’s nice, dear. Nice to see you’re making new friends. Don’t want to be alone all your life.” Gina goes back to her paper.
“Fuck sake, I’m not a social outcast, mother. I chose not to have friends, there is a difference.” Gina looks up at her daughter and smiles sadly. Naomi rolls her eyes, tightens her jaw in frustration and turns to poor herself her tea. “Just...just don’t freak her out, okay?” Gina nods and goes back to her paper. Naomi doesn’t feel bad. She doesn’t.
*
“Urgh.” He groans. Fucking head. Too much last night. Pushes himself up off his bed and rubs his eyes. Doesn’t remember much, doesn’t need to; if you can’t remember it then it was a good time. That’s always been his motto. He gets up off his bed, pulls some jeans on, rolls a spliff and sparks it up, best ever hangover cure. Drinking works as well, but he’s still got the burning sensation left in his throat from it last night and the spliff is easier, helps you relax. Puffs out some rings and heads for the dresser, looks at the picture from the corner of his eye while throwing his jacket on and zipping it up. Shakes his head and opens the door.
Saturday mornings he always does the same thing. It’s a routine. Makes his way down to the local cafe, Passion is what it’s called, or some shit like that. Nice big fry up to start the day, lots of ketchup otherwise what’s the fucking point? “Alright, Susie, babe? Good time last night?” he winks at her. Fucked her last night at a party. She’s a waitress here, if he’d remembered he probably wouldn’t have come. She rolls her eyes at him and pours his drink for him. Bitch. He gave her a good time, enough said. He eats his fry up, fucking quality, it is. Leaves the cafe and heads down to the florist and gets his usual. Takes him another twenty minutes to get there. The flowers go to where they are supposed to go, stays for a bit, smokes because that’s all he can do. It’s awkward, always is. Leaves and heads back into town and goes to the snooker club. Craig’s there and they have a bit of chat, catch up and then play some pool. Cook wins, he always wins. He is the Cookie monster after all. Gets his fiver off Craig and heads up to town. Picks up a payphone and sticks in thirty pence. Rings four times before a voice answers on the other end. “Hello, James.” The voice sounds bored.
“Alright, Mrs Jones, JJ in?” Doesn’t know why he keeps trying. JJ doesn’t want to talk to him. Fucking dickhead.
“Yeah, but you call at the same time every week and every time he doesn’t want to speak to you. Why do you keep calling?” Mrs Jones never liked him. Thought he was a bad influence. Fucking bitch as well. What the fuck does she know? Nothing.
“Dunno.” Is his reply.
“Well, nice talking to you, James.” She hangs up. He slams the phone back down and kicks the wall of the phone box. He needs booze, needs to get smashed off his face, and needs to get some as well. Heads into town towards the off-licence to get what he wants. Paulie will serve him in there, always has. He comes out of the off-licence carrying a bag full of booze.
“Danny I wanna go to Primark!” He watches as the redhead pulls on her boyfriend Danny’s arm.
“Babe, we went there yesterday. Let’s go to the pub, I’ll get a few in and then later you can pay me back. If you know what I mean.” He’s doing that stupid fucking laugh and looking her up and down. Cook just rolls his eyes, not got a fucking clue what to say or do. Cook may like to fuck anything to walk but at least he knows how to talk to a girl. Twat. Smirks and laughs when Katie throws a hissing fit. Crosses her arms over her chest and scowls at him. A lady who knows how to get what she wants, Cook admires that. Reminds him of himself, well, after all he did fuck Katie. Fuck it. Cook makes his way over and wraps his arm over Katie’s shoulder. “Alright, Katiekins,” Turns to Danny and nods his head. “Danno, how are you, mate? I couldn’t help but notice that--”
“I know you couldn’t.” Katie comments and pushes him away from her.
“I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t want to take Katie to Primark? Need someone else to come with ya, babe?” She rolls her eyes. “Come on! The Cookie will keep you company. He has in the past.” Danny’s jaw is clenching.
“I told you to stay away from my bird, mate.” Shoves Cook.
“She’s the one who keep coming back to me, mate,” winks at him and waggles his tongue. “Cor, does she squeal!” Cook gets punched again. Goes down. Danny stops off, tells Katie to fuck off and drives off in his car. Cook’s laughing on the ground, wipes the blood from under his nose and laughs harder. Lays his head down and looks up at the sky. So fucking worth it. Closes his eyes and smiles. Couple of minutes he lays there.
“Are you going to lay in the road all fucking day or are you coming with me?” Cook’s eyes open again and he sees Katie Fitch standing above him. She looks pissed. He likes her when she’s mad. Feisty. Smirks up at her.
“They always come back to the Cookie Monster.”
“Urgh!” Throws her hands up and walks off in the direction of the town. Cook laughs, pushes himself up off the ground and follows her.
*
Emily arrives fifteen minutes later then she said she would. Naomi bites her lip the entire time, feels numb from all the chewing. Emily’s drenched by the rain. Makes Naomi feel bad for making her come here. Walks Emily up the stairs and past her mum as quick as possible. Gina doesn’t ask any questions. Once they get into her room she closes the door, sighs and leans against it. “You okay?” Emily asks, standing awkwardly.
“Yeah, just tired is all.” Naomi replies and Emily nods. Awkward. “So, what happened to twenty minutes?” She sits on the end of the bed and plays with her hands. Doesn’t know how to act around Emily sometimes, just has to be around her.
“Sorry, my mum was being a pain and wanted me to stay in because of the weather,” looks at herself and laughs. “Should have listened to her really.”
“Ever heard of an invention called an umbrella? Sounds crazy, but these little pieces of metal are clipped onto a waterproof fabric and then we you open it you’re covered from the rain. Technology has come a long way.” Naomi’s teasing, trying her best not to laugh and keep a straight face. Emily glares at her. Naomi breaks under Emily’s stare and bursts into laughter. Emily’s rolls her eyes and then joins her.
Emily looks around Naomi’s room. “What do you want to do, then?”
Naomi hadn’t really thought about that. She’d got Emily up out of bed and over here to do....nothing. Her brow creases as she thinks. “Watch a film or something?”
“Okay,” Emily smiles, getting up off the bed and heads towards Naomi’s shelves. She reaches the DVD’s and runs her finger across them slowly. “Let me see...” Deep thought on her face. Naomi’s standing next to her and smiles at how much thought Emily’s putting into picking a film. Most of these Cook gave her. She doesn’t want to know where he got them from because she’s worried about the answer.
“What about that? Lots of action sequence, hot chicks and guns.” Naomi points to a DVD and Emily rolls your eyes.
“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I have to be a ‘lad’. I’m very girlie, I’ll have you know.” Naomi holds her hands up in defence and Emily just laughs.
“Wasn’t saying that at all. Just thought that was a good film.” Naomi lies through her teeth. Stop stereotyping her. Scans her eyes over the DVD collection. “What about that one? Some serious lesbian undertones there; drive you crazy that would.” Naomi’s teasing her now and Emily playful scowls in return.
“Fine! You want dyke! You got dyke!” Emily tackles Naomi onto the bed and pins her down. Scowls at Naomi from above her.
“Ever thought about rugby? Got tackling skills.” She winks and Emily scowls harder. Emily tickles her and Naomi’s eyes widen. “NO!” She screams out as Emily’s fingers claw at her sides. “Stop!” Emily does. Looks down at Naomi smiling and she receives a smile in return. They stay there like that just for a bit. A slamming door from downstairs breaks the moment and Emily jumps up and heads back over to the DVDS. Two minutes later she’s waving a DVD in front of Naomi’s face and Naomi’s rolling her eyes. “Fine, but if you get scared you’re not cuddling up to me.” She’s lying.
Emily’s head is buried in her neck a couple of the minutes into the film. The curtains are drawn, the rain’s patting against the windows, the lights are off and the two are sitting against the headboard of Naomi’s bed. Naomi hesitates, thinks about it before she wraps her arm around Emily and pulls her closer to her. So close. Strawberries. Naomi’s so tempted to breathe it in, just press her nose against Emily’s head and drown in it. Doesn’t. She doesn’t watch the film. She can’t focus. Not with Emily so close to her and clinging to her every couple of seconds. It’s enough to make her want to be sick. Not because Emily’s clinging to her. Because she can’t fucking stand being so close to her, but not close enough.
*
“You going to say anything or stare at my arse all day?” Katie grumbles as her hands rush through the clothes on the hangers. Not really looking at them. Cook doesn’t reply. “That was a hint that you should fucking talk!” She snaps and Cook shakes his head and looks at her.
“Sorry, babe, what were you saying?”
“Urgh, why did I even bring you?” She’s asking herself. Not him, but of course he has to answer.
“Babes, you wanted the Cookie Monster here!” he replies simply and holds out some clothes to Katie.
“What are these?” Dodges the statement that Cook just made. She does not want him here.
“Clothes. You’ll look good in them, Katiekins. Fuckable” Winks at her and she nearly cringes. Disgusting. Leans against the wall as Katie looks over them and then nods in approval. “What did Cookie tell you?” Winks at her.
Rolls her eyes and puts them in the bag. “Where’s the dyke today, then?”
“Your sister? Fuck if I know, babe!” He smirks and Katie glares at him, deadly.
“My sister isn’t gay.” Says it slowly so he’ll remember it. Fucking dickhead. What does he know?
“Whatever you say, babe, just remember Cookie is all knowing!”
If she rolls her eyes anymore around him they might fall out of her head. Picks up some more clothes and throws them in the back. She’ll look fit in them and she knows it. Smiles. She’s fit. Cook’s wandered off now. Alone finally. She invited him along though so she did this to herself. Doesn’t know why she’s punishing herself. Laughs at that. Wonders if she should call Danny? No, let him stew. He’s been a cunt to her lately, fucking focused on his mates all the time. Prick. She’s always had a boyfriend even if they she didn’t like them that one. She needs to be loved. She deserved to be loved. She’s Katie fucking Fitch after all. Heads toward the changing room, opens the door and steps inside. Starts hanging up clothes. Pulls off her top and throws it to the ground. Her skirt is next, slipping it down over her hips and letting it pool on the floor. Looks at herself in the mirror. Looks at her legs. See’s flashes of Cook’s hands running down them. Shakes her head. Can’t thing about that. Won’t. Bites her lips as she thinks about Cook’s tongue inside her, pleasing her, making her ‘squeal’. She feels dirty. So dirty. She’s showed but she can’t get it off. Won’t ever go. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Chews her lip. Fuck sake. A knock on the door breaks her away from her thought. “What?” She snaps.
“A behind door number 2, Katie Fitch. And what has Katie Fitch won? Some more clothes,” She doesn’t move. “Open the door, babes, I ain’t got all day!” Moves over and opens the changing room door for him. “Take this. You should wear some of this for me sometime. Blow my mind you would, babe. Drive me wild, it would.” Smirks and winks at her. She wants to kiss him. The urge just hits her so bad. Fights it. Doesn’t say thank you, doesn’t nod, just closes the door on him and sits on the stool in the changing room. Clothes balled up in her hand. Dickhead. She fucking hates him. She does. “You alright in there, Katiekins? Don’t go dying on me now. Who am I gonna fuck if you do that?” she laughs meekly.
Cook stands there. She’s been in there for nearly half an hour now. Cook’s a patient guy; especially when it comes to getting what he wants but Katie’s been in there for a bit longer than any willing bloke would be prepared to stand for a girl and Cook’s never been about giving, he’s all about the taking. He knocks on the door. “Tick tock, babe, the Cookie Monster’s getting impatient. Nearly time for Cookie to get his fuck on.” The door unlocks, she doesn’t come out though. Cook pushes it open with one finger. “Fuck me.” He breathes. Steps inside.
“Daddy, what’s that?” A boy asks pointing towards a changing room door. Moans and groans can be heard from the other side.
The man’s eyes widen and he covers his son’s ears. “Erm miss!” He motions to the Primark worker to check the changing room. She goes over and taps on the door. “Come on, Timmy, let’s go over here.” The man leads his son away.
“Please open this door.” The worker asks. A loud groan, man’s voice is her reply. She looks taken back and then knocks again louder. “Stop it at once! Open this door! This is a shop for Christ sake!”
“Grab my balls! Grab my balls! Grab my balls! Oh, yes, babe!” is hollered. She knocks again louder. Demands them to stop. They don’t.
*
“So.....what’s your favourite film?” Emily’s laying on one side of the bed and Naomi’s laying on the other. They’re facing each other. Naomi’s breathing is fast, she can feel Emily’s on her face as well if Emily breathes hard enough.
“Don’t really have one, you?” Naomi replies.
“Loads, can’t pick one.”
“It’s a hard question.” Naomi replies. This is nice. The film had ended half an hour ago and now they were just sitting around, talking. Naomi didn’t usually like to talk. She did now. “When did you figure it out?”
“Figure what out?”
“That you were gay?”
“Oh.” She can’t read Emily’s face, it’s neutral. Thinks that maybe she shouldn’t have asked, that Emily doesn’t want to talk about it. “Well, I looked at a guy and then looked at a girl and the girl made my vagina tingle.” Emily’s face breaks out into a smile and she starts laughing.
Naomi slaps her shoulder. “I thought you were serious there for a second! You sounded like Cook.”
“Cook’s got nothing on me.” She winks and it’s so like Cook that Naomi raises an eyebrow. Emily was such a boy sometimes. “So, how?”
“Don’t know really. Just, boys never really interested me and girls did. In our room Katie and I have posters and on one side there’s David Beckham, male models and bulging packages and on the other side there’s Victoria Beckham, female models and vaginas. Wanna take a guess which side is which?”
“So, you’re clearly the male side, right?” Naomi teases and it’s Emily’s turn to slap her shoulder. “Knew you were a closet straight all along.”
“Fuck you, Campbell! I’m as gay as they come!” Emily declares.
“Oh, really? Well, I see no proof of this. In fact I swear that I saw you checking out Cook the other night, admit it!”
“Never!” They’re laughing again. Laying on each other while they laugh and push each other around playfully. They back up, noses bumping, eyes locking. Naomi inches forward, pushed by something in the back of her mind. Misses the strawberries. Emily moves as well, inches closer and closer until her phone rings out loud, breaking the spell and sending them both to opposite sides of the bed. Emily’s fishing into her pocket and pulls out her mobile. “Hey, mum, you need me now? Why? Can’t James help you? But I’m out with a friend. Yeah, I know it was Katie’s turn to go out this weekend and for me to help....yeah, but I don’t go out and she goes out all the time. But....fine I’ll be home in about twenty minutes,” hangs up. “Bitch.”
“You have to go?” Comes out sadder than Naomi would have liked but she’ll deal with it. Emily nods and Naomi nods back sadly.
“I had a good time, though. Definitely should do it again.” Emily smiles.
“Yeah, when?” Doesn’t think when she asks.
“I’m going to this club on Monday, Katie doesn’t know about it...she wouldn’t like it. It’s not really your sort of thing, but you can come if you like.” Emily offers.
Naomi takes it. “Yes.”
“Okay.” Emily smiles. “See you.”
“Bye.” Naomi misses her already. Fuck sake.
*
They go back to his. Fuck again. She lays her head on his chest. He’s already asleep and she’s nearly there herself. Wraps her arm around him and curls into him. This one time she’s not going to think about it. She’s just gonna fucking sleep. Just for a little bit. It’ll all be fine in the morning. She’ll leave again and she can forget this ever happened. For the fifth time. Curses herself. He’s snoring now. She doesn’t mind. Emily snore and louder than him, she’s used to it. Cook’s phone vibrates on the dresser, she turns to it and picks it up without thinking. Doesn’t wake him up. Just reads the text. Emily’s just been round. Need to talk to you about some stuff. Where the fuck are you? Stop being a dick. - Naomi. Her sister? Naomi? What the fuck?
*
She gets herself off that night. Hands in her knickers, cheeks flushed, arse pushing up off the mattress when she comes. Tries not to think about Emily. Does. She tries not to think too much into it. Puts it down to all the pent up sexual energy that she’s had recently. She texts Cook because she needs someone to talk to. Doesn’t want to. Has too. Fuck it. She’ll go round to his in the morning if he’s going to be a cunt. Texts Emily good night. Emily texts back a happy face and a kiss. Naomi bites her lip. Fuck.
A/N: Chapter six. This one was mainly a filler chapter :/ Hope it was okay. Tell me what you think? Review? Hope you enjoyed it :D You guys are the best.