Lotr Fanfic "In the Course of Time 05/07"
In the Course of Time - PART 5
***
The sun was about to set when Éomer entered the hall for dinner. He just came from his Men who had joined the works of rebuilding the city of Minas Tirith. The bonds between the kingdoms of Rohan and Gondor had grown tighter through the last two battles and had stretched into mutual assistance. Éomer was glad his men agreed to help to rebuild the city, but everybody saw the need for support if the city was to avoid a catastrophe. There was much death and destruction and even the basic needs for water and shelter had not been supplied at the beginning. In combined work of Rohirrim and Gondorians it had been possible to restore the general infrastructure of the city after about a week.
Éomer looked around the hall and saw his sister sit at a table with Leoglas, Gimli and Faramir, the steward of Gondor whom she seemed to like a lot. The Rohirrim walked over to them, still looking around, but Haldir was nowhere to be seen, which was not much of a surprise. They were both fully involved in the reconstruction of Minas Tirith and worked on different parts of the city. They still shared the room, though, and the night was the only time they really spend together apart from councils with Aragorn and other leaders.
“May I join you?” Éomer asked when he arrived at the table. His sister had already seen him and greeted him with a smile.
“Éomer! It is good to see you here for dinner. You seem to work so late often so that I see you at dinner very rarely.”
Éomer smile apologetically. “You are right, dear sister. Please, accept my excuses.”
She just nodded and pointed at the free seat next to her. “Come on, then, join us and eat.”
He sat down and helped himself to the food that was distributed in bowls and plates on the table. He ate silently for some time and just listened to the conversation between Faramir and Gimli before he felt Éowyn nudge his foot. He turned to her, one eyebrow raised in question.
“How are you?” she asked, her gaze serious and concerned. “I see you working from sunrise to long after sunset, every day.”
“There is much to do. The city was immensely destroyed, but you saw that yourself.” Éomer took a sip of his wine, holding his sister's gaze. “It is hard, but it needs to be done. Minas Tirith needs Rohan's help in more than just in battle.”
“I know.” Éowyn replied.
“And how are you? I hear you work no less than I do.”
“There are many affects of the battle that have to be cured.” Éomer saw how her gaze lingered on the Steward of Gondor and she was silent for a moment before she asked quietly: “What do you think of him?”
She did not even need to say his name, Éomer was very well aware she was talking about Faramir. He had noticed his sister's attraction to the young steward and his affection for her. He had watched the two of them for the last weeks and had just waited for Éowyn to come to him to address the matter.
“I think he is a very honourable and decent man. I respect him as a warrior as well as as a person.” Éomer enjoyed it to play with his sister's uncertainty of his opinion. “But that is not what you ask, is it?”
It was one of the few times he had ever seen Éowyn blush. “No, it is not.”
“You like him.” Éomer remarked and watched her look at the Gondorian with this soft smile on her lips.
“Aye, I do.”
“A lot, I guess.” He enjoyed teasing her a bit.
She turned to look at him, the little smile still on her lips. “Aye.”
“And how far do your feelings go?” Éomer already had a suspicion, but he wanted to hear it from her.
Éowyn was silent for a moment, looking at the steward again before turning back to her brother. “Far enough.”
“So I guessed.” Éomer gave her a warm smile. “I am happy for you.”
It felt good to see a real smile blossom on her face. “Thank you.”
“Does he share your feelings?” Éomer asked gently and held her gaze.
She nodded. “Aye, he does.”
“So you found your happiness.”
“I think so.” Éowyn drank a sip of her wine. “And what about you?”
For a moment, Éomer was geniously surprised at her question. “What do you mean?”
“What is it with you and Master Haldir?” Éomer was certain to hear barely hidden curiosity in her voice.
“What are you talking about?” Éomer drank some wine to gain time. He did not intend to talk about things he was not certain of himself, not even to his sister.
“You are close to him.” It was a statement, not a question.
“What makes you think that?” He knew Éowyn was aware that he only replied with a counter-question instead of an answer.
“It is obvious that you befriended him.”
What could he say to that? Of course it was known with the men that the Elven Captain and the Rohirrim Marshal and now King of Rohan shared an apparently deep friendship and it did not surprise Éomer at all that his sister had picked up on the connection between him and Haldir. She was intelligent and a good observer and on top of that she knew her brother very well. So he just stated the obvious. “Aye, we became good friends.”
“And that is all there is?” Her tone was knowing. “I do not think so.”
“There is nothing more I will say on that matter, Éowyn.” he said quietly and demonstratively turned to Gimli who sat next to him. His sister had hit a point and they both knew it, but he did not feel ready to talk about his innermost thoughts. Not now, not when he did not even know how to answer her questions to himself.
***
The night before Estel's coronation had settled over Gondor when Haldir stood in the courtyard and watched the Elven guests arrive in Minas Tirith. He had no idea who was about come, but he had expected Elrond and his sons, for they were Aragorn's family, and he had guessed that Lady Arwen would come. But there were far more riders coming into the courtyard, and Haldir was astonished to recognise his brothers within a group of visitors from Lorien.
With a few steps, he crossed the courtyard to where they dismounted their horses. “Rúmil! Orophin! It is so good to see you.”
Rúmil turned first and a big smile spread over his face when he noticed his brother and he pulled him into an embrace. “Haldir! You are well. We heard rumours that you had been hurt during the battle at the Balck Gate.”
Orophin joined them and embraced his brother as well. “Then those rumours were not true.”
“Oh, they were.” Haldir was happy to see his brothers again and smiled widely at them. “I sustained a gash to my back with a poisoned blade and were in healing sleep for about seven days, but I have completely recovered by now.”
“That does not sound very nice. It is good then that Aragorn was with you. He must have known what to do.” Orophin remarked and followed Haldir towards the King's House.
“It certainly helped.” Haldir agreed. “Did you come for the coronation?”
“Not only, my brother.” Rúmil explained. “You must have noticed Arwen came, and we want to see her finally find her happiness with Estel.”
“He does not know of her presence then?”
“He will find out tomorrow after his coronation. Lord Elrond thought it would be the an unexpected, but perfect surprise.” Rúmil chuckled. “And you know Arwen, she instantly liked the idea.”
Haldir laughed. “Aye, I can imagine that.”
“They deserve their happiness.” Orophin added and entered the building behind his brothers. “They had to overcome so much pain that we would never miss to see them finally united.”
“Aye, I agree.” Rúmil nodded. “Where do you lead us, brother?”
Haldir turned and looked at them. “To my quarters. I thought it would be nice to conclude this late night with a goblet of hot wine at the fireplace.”
“That sounds like a very good idea.” Rúmil replied with a grin. “We have so much to talk about.”
“I share the room with Éomer, nephew of the recently deceased King Theoden of Rohan.” Haldir felt a little surge of anticipation run through him. It was like presenting his lover to his brothers, even though he knew that no indication of his actual relationship with the Man would be revealed.
“Did you fight with him at Helm's Deep?” Rúmil asked, he had always been curious about Men, but not curious enough to actually leave the Woods to learn about them.
“Aye. He came to our help with Gandalf at daybreak.” Haldir still remembered the feeling he had had when he had seen Éomer as the leader of the Rohirrim Riders, the sun in the back, with the strength to turn the seemingly lost battle to their favour.
“He is a good warrior, then?” Haldir was aware that Rúmil watched him closely. His brother was intelligent, he must have picked up onto something.
“Indeed. His Men will follow him because they believe in him.” Haldir replied, simply stating the truth instead of giving his own opinion.
“That is indeed a very good reputation.” Orophin remarked quietly.
“You will meet him in your time here and then you can form your own opinion.” They had reached the door to the room and Haldir opened it and let his brothers in. In the fireplace a warming fire was burning, but otherwise the chamber was empty. Éomer was probably still with his Men, Haldir guessed and made his brothers sit down at the table before he rang for a servant and asked for food and wine.
***
It was late when Éomer left his men to return to the room he shared with Haldir. There had never been a word lost about them remaining in the same chamber together and Éomer guessed that some had suspicions about them, others just thought them to be very close brothers in arms. But then, Aragorn, Legoals and Gimli were sharing a room as well and nobody thought about it twice. Whatever kept them silent was good enough for Éomer. He knew his time with Haldir was limited and he wanted to enjoy it was much as he possibly could.
With a nod to the guards at the doorway to the King's House Éomer entered the building and followed the stairs and corridors that led to his room. As soon as he opened the door, he heard voices from the inside, talking quietly. When he saw Haldir sitting together with two other Elves, he realised that they must be speaking their own tongue and found it sounded beautiful.
The three Elves acknowledged him as soon as he entered the room, but Éomer was certain all of them had heard him long before he had actually come into their sight. During the time he had spent with Haldir, he had learned what excellent hearing Elves possessed and he would not make the mistake to assume that he could surprise them. As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he bowed in a formal greeting to the two Elves he did not know.
“Éomer.” Haldir got up and greeted him. “I present to you my brothers, Rúmil and Orophin.”
Éomer nodded to them. “Welcome to Minas Tirith.”
Haldir turned to them and spoke in his own tongue again. The two Elves who indeed bore a certain resemblance to Haldir, bowed to the Man and said some words.
“My brothers greet you and thank you for the welcome.” Haldir translated. “I am one of the few Elves who actually speak the common tongue, as you may have realised with my archers. My brothers speak only a few words, so I am to translate.”
One of the brothers, Rúmil if Éomer remembered correctly, said something to Haldir and Éomer stood next to them and listened to them talking. The Elvish tongue sounded very soft and calm to his ears and he liked the sound of it, he noticed again.
After a moment, Haldir turned to him. “It is late and my brothers will return to the quarters they have been assigned. I will accompany them and show them the way, but I will not be gone for long.”
“Do not worry, Haldir.” Éomer replied casually. “If you want to spend some time with your brothers, I can spent the night in other quarters. I imagine you have not seen in quite a while.”
“Thank you, but that will not be necessary.” The Elf gave him a little smile. “I will be back shortly.”
The other two Elves bowed and said some farewell before they left the room with Haldir. Éomer listened to them retreating through the corridor before he went over to the bed and started to undress. He was tired from the long day, but he wanted to see Haldir before he went to sleep, even if it was only for some minutes. He settled in bed and was asleep long before Haldir returned. But he felt the Elf come to bed and snuggled back against the warmth with a content sigh.
The morning was bright and clear, the sky of a pure blue and the sun shone onto the city of Minas Tirith. The seventh level of the city was filled with people who wanted to take part in the coronation of the King of Gondor. Éomer stood on his assigned position as the representative of Rohan, next to him Haldir and his two brothers, on the opposite side were Éowyn and her beloved, Faramir, the Steward of Gondor.
With a feeling of unrealism, Éomer watched Gandalf place the crown of Gondor onto Aragorn's head. He heard the song in the old language and bowed to the new King when he walked past, seeing all the others present doing the same. Still, it felt unreal. He was certain Aragorn was going to be a great King for Gondor, but it was strange to see the warrior and the King as the same person.
It was when he watched Aragorn catch sight of Lady Arwen, the light in his eyes and the happiness at their reunion that he felt a wave of sadness hit him. He looked to Haldir who stood next to him and saw the Elf watch the couple with a wistful smile and he knew his lover thought the same thing. There would never be a future for themselves, no reunion forever like there was for Lady Arwen and Aragorn.
The official coronation ceremony was followed by feasting and celebration in the whole city. The festive event was necessary more for the inhabitants of the city than for the new King. It served as a celebration of the coronation as of the achievements in the rebuilding of the city. The people needed a moment of relaxation and positive energy and the occasion was convenient. Éomer enjoyed the festivities as much as everybody else, he spent some time with the Men he had worked with over the past month, some time with Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Lady Arwen and the most of the time with Haldir.
The Elf looked simply magnificent, Éomer thought for the tenth time when he looked at Haldir who stood together with to Lord Elrond, Aragorn and Lady Arwen and talked to them. He had obviously taken a bath and was dressed in a plain but beautiful light blue tunic that shimmered as silvery as his hair. The long strands were carefully braided and a silver band sat on his head. Haldir displayed the same ethereal beauty that all Elves possessed and that could be seen on all the Elves who were present at the coronation. But it was only Haldir who attracted Éomer's gaze again and again.
The Rohirrim knew he was not fascinated by the outer magnificence alone, but by the whole being of Haldir, by the many aspects of his character from his outer arrogance to his innermost tenderness. The realization had dawned on Éomer for some time, but he had not dared to think it through. The relationship between them was limited to the time they spent together here at Minas Tirith, afterwards their ways would part and probably never meet again. Éomer was King of Rohan now, he had to return to his country and rebuilt what had been destroyed in the war. There was no time and no place for an attraction for a male Elf in his further life.
Haldir laughed at something Lady Arwen had said and the sound and the sight made a shiver run down Éomer's spine. His Elf was so precious that the Man wished he could protect him from every harm in this world. At the same time he was aware how absurd this urge was on a creature that was more than four-thousand years old and had lived without his protection for millennia and would still be alive when he was long gone. Haldir did not need any protection, especially not from a mere mortal, but the urge was there nonetheless.
Éomer drank some wine, squared his shoulders and walked over to his sister and Faramir. He pushed all thoughts of the Elf aside and concentrated on the moment. It was of no use to brood over this right now when it was time to celebrate and relax.
The day after the coronation began later and much slower than the mornings before. Most people slept in and the works in the city did not start until after noon, but then life went on as it had in the month before. Éomer had began to plan the journey of the Rohirrim back to Edoras, they had stayed long enough at Minas Tirith and the rebuilding of the city had so far progressed that the Gondorians could finish it on their own. It was time to return to Rohan.
In council with Aragorn and several other leaders, Éomer declared that the Rohirrim would leave the city within the week to return to Edoras. When he said the words, he avoided to look into Haldir's eyes, even though he was certain the disciplined Elf would not show any emotion through his normal reserved and arrogant outer shell.
***
It was late when Haldir opened the door to the room he shared with Éomer. The next morning, the Man would leave with his Men and Haldir had done everything in the past week to push that thought away. The preparations had been running at full speed for the last two days and Éomer had been gone most of the day until late at night. But tonight, when Haldir entered the room, he found the Man leaning at the window, back towards the door.
“Tomorrow I will have to leave.” Éomer said quietly without turning. “Éowyn and I have to return to set our country back into order.”
“Aye, I understand.” Haldir forced his voice to stay levelled. He had known this point would come, but it had been easy to forget about it in the time they had been here at Minas Tirith.
“We will leave in the morning, the journey to Edoras is long and we need to start rebuilding our own kingdom.” The Man sounded like he did not like the prospect of leaving too much either and it did Haldir good to know he was not alone in this.
“I will leave in a few days as well to return into the service of my Lady.” Haldir offered and watched Éomer standing at the window, view lost in the distance.
“Life will go on as it has to.”
“Aye, it will.” Haldir stepped behind his Man, put his arm around his waist and whispered into his ear. “Let us leave this circle for some final hours.”
Éomer leaned back against him and bent his head to let it rest onto the Elf's shoulder. “I would like that very much.”
Haldir heard the wistful tone in the rough voice and knew it would be their last night. He tightened his arms, kissed Éomer's neck and silently vowed that he would make this night unforgettable for both of them. The memory would have to last for a lifetime.
***
The sun had just begun to rise above the horizon in the east when Éomer stirred. He felt arms encircling him and instinctively knew it was Haldir who had held him in sleep. The last night had been filled with the most intensive lovemaking, he had taken and been taken in return and he could feel the slight soreness that was a welcome reminder. A gentle smile came to his lips when he opened his eyes and found his Elf watching him.
“Good Morning.” he murmured sleepily and stretched his limbs.
“Good Morning, meleth.” Haldir kissed his neck and Éomer appreciatively turned his head to give the Elf more access. Haldir took up upon the offer and started nibbling the skin under his ear, then kissed a trace over his jaw and made the Man turn his head until he could kiss him. It was the knock on the door that made them stop.
“I ordered breakfast in our rooms.” Haldir explained with a little smile and left the bed to let in the servant with a tray full of food. Éomer took his time to watch his beautiful Elf who had just wrapped a sheet around his narrow hips. The long silver hair flowed over the strong back and he moved with this grace that seemed to be natural to all Elves when he closed the door after the servant had left.
Then he turned to face Éomer with a little smile and pointed at the food. “Do you want to join me in breakfast, meleth?”
Éomer returned the smile. “I would like that very much.”
He got up, wrapped the blanket around his hips and walked over to sit opposite to the Elf at the table. It was a rich breakfast, everything from meat to cheese to fruit and fresh bread that was still warm.
“Thank you.” Éomer stretched his leg until his foot caressed Haldir's shin and smiled at his Elf.
“You are very welcome.” Haldir returned the smile and pressed his shin into the touch. “I figured that you would need a decent breakfast for today's journey and it seemed most convenient to share it with you.”
“Very good thinking.” Éomer slowly let his leg slide up and down in a gentle caress. “It means I can spend more time with you before I have to leave.”
“That was also my thought.” Haldir took a bite of bread and let one hand touch Éomer's over the table. They ate in silence, both lost in thoughts about the upcoming separation. Éomer knew there was no possibility to prevent it, but it still made him feel like he lost a part of his life he could not spare. He would not say so, it was of no use to let the Elf know how much he cared for him if they could not change the course of time. Haldir also seemed uncharacteristically quiet this morning, he had noticed. Had it been anybody else, Éomer would have said he was shy.
“Let me braid your hair for your journey.” the Elf said quietly when they had finished eating. Éomer looked up and wondered for a moment why his instincts told him that this was important to Haldir. For a second, he considered to ask the Elf, but then decided against it.
“Sure. If you want to.” He rose from the table and sat down on the edge of the bed and watched how Haldir knelt next to it. Then he felt his long fingers comb through his hair and braid several small braids that seemed to follow a pattern. It did not take long for the Elf to finish his work and he sat back on his heels and considered his handiwork.
“And? How does it look?” Éomer asked with a teasing grin.
Haldir was quiet for a moment and seemed lost in watching him. Then a small smile appeared on his lips that seemed a bit sad and his voice sounded a little rougher than normal. “Beautiful.”
Éomer felt a shiver run down his spine. He was sure it was caused as much by the sound of the Elf's voice as by his gaze that seemed to caress his skin without even touching him. It let his desire rise instantly and when he licked his lips, he found the Elf's eyes follow the movement. He was definitely not alone with his desire, Haldir's face mirrored it back at him. But there was no further time to act on it and they both were aware of that. Éomer was to leave within the next hour and he could not delay.
“I wished we had more time.” the Man said gently and let his hand touch his lover's cheek.
“Aye, so do I. But we have not.” Haldir leaned in his hand and closed his eyes for a short moment. “You have to get dressed and prepare to leave. There is no time.”
Éomer sighed. “I know.”
Haldir opened his eyes and looked straight and his lover. “Let me help you dress.”
For a moment, Éomer did not know what to say. He understood the request as what it was, an offer to completely trust and be trusted in return, something not easily given between warriors. He felt his heart grow heavy, then he nodded. “Aye.”
Haldir got up and gathered the Man's trousers and his inner tunic, gently pulling the garments on his lover, paying his task his complete attention. With skilful fingers he put on the outer tunic and the chain mail, closed the fastenings of the Man's armour, applied his weapons and finally gave him his sword. Éomer was at the same time shaken and touched by Haldir's devotion and felt his emotions surge close to the surface. Once the Elf was finished, he stood back and lay his hands flat on the armour at the Man's chest.
“Farewell, Éomer of Rohan, melamin.” Haldir's voice was deeper than normal and it tore at Éomer's heart to hear the sadness in it. The Elf cupped his face and gave him a slow but deep kiss, gently toying with the braids that pulled Éomer's hair back.
When Haldir pulled back, his fingers let go of the braids and he took a step back. “You better get into the courtyard. Your Men will already be waiting.”
“I know.” There was nothing he could do or say to ease the pain they both felt at the parting, so Éomer let his hand caress his Elf's face one more time. “Farewell, Haldir of Lorien. I truly hope our paths will cross again.”
“As do I.” Haldir bowed slightly, then Éomer reciprocated the gesture and then turned to leave the room. He heard no footsteps behind him, but he had not expected to either. They had said their farewell.
When Éomer stepped out into the courtyard and mounted Firefoot, Éowyn was already waiting for him, sitting on her horse and watching him silently.
“The braids are very nice. They suit you.” he heard her remark when they rode down the streets to leave the city. He looked over to her to find her watch him with a gentle smile that told him she had meant what she had said.
Éomer gave her a short smile but did not reply anything. He did not feel ready to talk about Haldir, even though he was sure Éowyn had sensed something. He concentrated on the slow ride through the intricate streets leading towards the gates. When they left the city, he turned around and looked back over the white stone houses. At the top of the castle rock, he could see a lonely figure standing completely still. Even though the great distance made it impossible to identify the person, Éomer easily recognized the long, almost white hair flowing in the wind. It made him sad and happy at the same moment to know that Haldir cared enough to watch him leave.
The ride back to Edoras seemed to take ages. Éomer was aware that he was not entirely concentrated on the journey, he was preoccupied with thoughts about Haldir and his behaviour of the morning. It was not very difficult to understand what Haldir had told him with his actions, but Éomer refused to put it in words, even in his mind. Their time together was over now and he had to concentrate on the rebuilding of his lands. With all his might, Éomer pushed every thought about the Elf aside and concentrated on the ride.
***
Éowyn opened the door to the house of healing and looked around until she spotted Melanwyn. With some steps she walked over to the healer and greeted her. She knew the old woman since she had come to Edoras as a child and trusted her deeply.
“Be greeted, healer.”
“My Lady.” Melanwyn smiled at her. “What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to ask for your advice.” Éowyn said quietly and the old woman understood and led her to the back of the house where only the healers had access to because all herbs and ointments were kept there.
“You worry about your brother.” the healer stated without a doubt.
Éowyn nodded, a concerned expression on her face. “He is very silent, seems not to sleep very well and I think he does not eat enough.”
“So I have realised.” Melanwyn answered with a thoughtful gaze.
“Do you have anything that might help him? A strong tea or a good fruit?”
The healer looked at her with a sad smile. “This is not something herbs can cure, My Lady. They do not function in matters of the heart.”
Melanwyn's words only affirmed what Éowyn had suspected, but she wanted to hear that she was not alone with her assumption. “What do you mean?”
The healer's gaze told her that the old woman was aware that Éowyn knew what she was talking about. “He will only grow back to the spirit he was when he is complete again. I am certain you saw the connection between him and Master Haldir as well as I did.”
Éowyn nodded with a little smile. “Aye, I did.”
“He found his other half, my Lady.” the healer said quietly but firmly. “And he found a very good partner in the Elf.”
“What makes you think that?” Éowyn shared that opinion, but she cherished a second point of view.
“Master Haldir worked with me after Helm's Deep and when we returned here to Edoras.” Melanwyn told her. “He may appear arrogant and unapproachable, but he is honest, caring and strong. He did more than was expected from him, and he took care of Men and Elves alike. He has a good heart.”
Éowyn smiled. “That is my impression as well.”
“But you know your brother well enough to understand he will not follow his heart's desire as long as he sees it contradictory to the good of Rohan.” the healer stated and watched the younger woman carefully.
Éowyn sighted. “Aye, I know that.”
“You will do the right thing, my Lady.” Éowyn wished she would feel as certain about that as the healer's voice sounded. Melanwyn turned and gave her a little bag. “I prepared your favourite tea some days ago, my Lady. It will do you good and help you to think.”
Éowyn took the bag and smelled the content with a pleased smile. “Thank you, Melanwyn. It came at the right moment.”
“It is my pleasure, my Lady.” The old woman gave her a motherly smile when Éowyn thanked her for the advice and left the house of healing, making her way over to the Golden Hall. She felt the need to do something to help her brother. He had been so full of life in the month they had spent at Minas Tirith and she had seen this little smile he had had every time he was around the Elven captain. She thought that, in that month, she had seen him truly happy for the first time since their parents had died.
Eowyn crossed the hall and stopped in the doorway when she noticed Éomer standing outside. For a moment, she watched him standing at the edge of the terrace with his gaze lost in the distance of the night sky. He had an air of sadness around him that she had seldom seen. Ever since they had returned to Edoras, Éomer had put all his strength and devotion into the rebuilding of Rohan, trying to make it prosper. He worked without break, only stopped to sleep for some hours at night and was up again early in the morning. His zeal was good for Rohan and its people, but Éowyn was certain it was not good for her brother in the long run.
“Why did you leave him?” She asked quietly, barely more than a whisper to not disturb the tranquil atmosphere when she slowly approached him and stood beside him at the edge of the terrace. She could not help to notice that he still wore the braids she had commented on when they had left Minas Tirith. He had not taken them out even for bathing, then.
“What do you mean?” He did not look at her, but she knew he was very well aware of whom she talked.
“There is no point in trying to deny it, dear brother.” She gave him a short glance. “I am not blind. And the connection between you and Master Haldir was quite obvious to those who know you well.”
“We tried not to let it show.” He sighted. He would not lie to her and she knew it.
“You miss him, do you not?” Éowyn made it sound more like a statement than a question.
“We both have our duties.” Éomer said with a certain resignation in his voice. “And there is no way to combine them. It is of no importance if I miss him or not, for it will not change anything.”
“Would you like there to be a future with him?” Éowyn knew the question was very direct and halfway expected her brother not to answer it.
“There is none, Éowyn. It is pointless to wish for something you cannot have.” He still had not turned to her and she wished to see his face to read his true feelings.
She decided to be bold and caught his face between her hands and turned it until he had to look at her. “That was no response to my question.”
She could read the answer in the stormy green eyes without him having to say a word. She smiled gently. “You made a good choice. He is a very honourable man.”
Éowyn saw her brother close his eyes for a moment to regain his composure. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “Thank you.”
“You should not give him up that easily.” She said when he opened his eyes.
“I have no choice, Éowyn. I am king of Rohan now, and that title demands certain duties.” She had never heard her brother sound so sad and defeated and it pained her. “I cannot follow my heart. I have to marry and produce an heir. I have to fulfil the responsibility I have towards our people.”
“These responsibilities should not cost you your happiness.” Éowyn felt overwhelmed by helplessness. She understood her brother only too well, it was the same for her. Rohan and its people would always come first for them. But it felt utterly wrong to see Éomer so unhappy and stripped off the liveliness and energy that was so much part of him.
“My first loyalty lies with Rohan. You know that as well as I do.”
She gently pulled him into an embrace and the way he actually accepted and returned it told her more about his heartache than words ever could have. “Aye, I do.”
***
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***
***
The sun was about to set when Éomer entered the hall for dinner. He just came from his Men who had joined the works of rebuilding the city of Minas Tirith. The bonds between the kingdoms of Rohan and Gondor had grown tighter through the last two battles and had stretched into mutual assistance. Éomer was glad his men agreed to help to rebuild the city, but everybody saw the need for support if the city was to avoid a catastrophe. There was much death and destruction and even the basic needs for water and shelter had not been supplied at the beginning. In combined work of Rohirrim and Gondorians it had been possible to restore the general infrastructure of the city after about a week.
Éomer looked around the hall and saw his sister sit at a table with Leoglas, Gimli and Faramir, the steward of Gondor whom she seemed to like a lot. The Rohirrim walked over to them, still looking around, but Haldir was nowhere to be seen, which was not much of a surprise. They were both fully involved in the reconstruction of Minas Tirith and worked on different parts of the city. They still shared the room, though, and the night was the only time they really spend together apart from councils with Aragorn and other leaders.
“May I join you?” Éomer asked when he arrived at the table. His sister had already seen him and greeted him with a smile.
“Éomer! It is good to see you here for dinner. You seem to work so late often so that I see you at dinner very rarely.”
Éomer smile apologetically. “You are right, dear sister. Please, accept my excuses.”
She just nodded and pointed at the free seat next to her. “Come on, then, join us and eat.”
He sat down and helped himself to the food that was distributed in bowls and plates on the table. He ate silently for some time and just listened to the conversation between Faramir and Gimli before he felt Éowyn nudge his foot. He turned to her, one eyebrow raised in question.
“How are you?” she asked, her gaze serious and concerned. “I see you working from sunrise to long after sunset, every day.”
“There is much to do. The city was immensely destroyed, but you saw that yourself.” Éomer took a sip of his wine, holding his sister's gaze. “It is hard, but it needs to be done. Minas Tirith needs Rohan's help in more than just in battle.”
“I know.” Éowyn replied.
“And how are you? I hear you work no less than I do.”
“There are many affects of the battle that have to be cured.” Éomer saw how her gaze lingered on the Steward of Gondor and she was silent for a moment before she asked quietly: “What do you think of him?”
She did not even need to say his name, Éomer was very well aware she was talking about Faramir. He had noticed his sister's attraction to the young steward and his affection for her. He had watched the two of them for the last weeks and had just waited for Éowyn to come to him to address the matter.
“I think he is a very honourable and decent man. I respect him as a warrior as well as as a person.” Éomer enjoyed it to play with his sister's uncertainty of his opinion. “But that is not what you ask, is it?”
It was one of the few times he had ever seen Éowyn blush. “No, it is not.”
“You like him.” Éomer remarked and watched her look at the Gondorian with this soft smile on her lips.
“Aye, I do.”
“A lot, I guess.” He enjoyed teasing her a bit.
She turned to look at him, the little smile still on her lips. “Aye.”
“And how far do your feelings go?” Éomer already had a suspicion, but he wanted to hear it from her.
Éowyn was silent for a moment, looking at the steward again before turning back to her brother. “Far enough.”
“So I guessed.” Éomer gave her a warm smile. “I am happy for you.”
It felt good to see a real smile blossom on her face. “Thank you.”
“Does he share your feelings?” Éomer asked gently and held her gaze.
She nodded. “Aye, he does.”
“So you found your happiness.”
“I think so.” Éowyn drank a sip of her wine. “And what about you?”
For a moment, Éomer was geniously surprised at her question. “What do you mean?”
“What is it with you and Master Haldir?” Éomer was certain to hear barely hidden curiosity in her voice.
“What are you talking about?” Éomer drank some wine to gain time. He did not intend to talk about things he was not certain of himself, not even to his sister.
“You are close to him.” It was a statement, not a question.
“What makes you think that?” He knew Éowyn was aware that he only replied with a counter-question instead of an answer.
“It is obvious that you befriended him.”
What could he say to that? Of course it was known with the men that the Elven Captain and the Rohirrim Marshal and now King of Rohan shared an apparently deep friendship and it did not surprise Éomer at all that his sister had picked up on the connection between him and Haldir. She was intelligent and a good observer and on top of that she knew her brother very well. So he just stated the obvious. “Aye, we became good friends.”
“And that is all there is?” Her tone was knowing. “I do not think so.”
“There is nothing more I will say on that matter, Éowyn.” he said quietly and demonstratively turned to Gimli who sat next to him. His sister had hit a point and they both knew it, but he did not feel ready to talk about his innermost thoughts. Not now, not when he did not even know how to answer her questions to himself.
***
The night before Estel's coronation had settled over Gondor when Haldir stood in the courtyard and watched the Elven guests arrive in Minas Tirith. He had no idea who was about come, but he had expected Elrond and his sons, for they were Aragorn's family, and he had guessed that Lady Arwen would come. But there were far more riders coming into the courtyard, and Haldir was astonished to recognise his brothers within a group of visitors from Lorien.
With a few steps, he crossed the courtyard to where they dismounted their horses. “Rúmil! Orophin! It is so good to see you.”
Rúmil turned first and a big smile spread over his face when he noticed his brother and he pulled him into an embrace. “Haldir! You are well. We heard rumours that you had been hurt during the battle at the Balck Gate.”
Orophin joined them and embraced his brother as well. “Then those rumours were not true.”
“Oh, they were.” Haldir was happy to see his brothers again and smiled widely at them. “I sustained a gash to my back with a poisoned blade and were in healing sleep for about seven days, but I have completely recovered by now.”
“That does not sound very nice. It is good then that Aragorn was with you. He must have known what to do.” Orophin remarked and followed Haldir towards the King's House.
“It certainly helped.” Haldir agreed. “Did you come for the coronation?”
“Not only, my brother.” Rúmil explained. “You must have noticed Arwen came, and we want to see her finally find her happiness with Estel.”
“He does not know of her presence then?”
“He will find out tomorrow after his coronation. Lord Elrond thought it would be the an unexpected, but perfect surprise.” Rúmil chuckled. “And you know Arwen, she instantly liked the idea.”
Haldir laughed. “Aye, I can imagine that.”
“They deserve their happiness.” Orophin added and entered the building behind his brothers. “They had to overcome so much pain that we would never miss to see them finally united.”
“Aye, I agree.” Rúmil nodded. “Where do you lead us, brother?”
Haldir turned and looked at them. “To my quarters. I thought it would be nice to conclude this late night with a goblet of hot wine at the fireplace.”
“That sounds like a very good idea.” Rúmil replied with a grin. “We have so much to talk about.”
“I share the room with Éomer, nephew of the recently deceased King Theoden of Rohan.” Haldir felt a little surge of anticipation run through him. It was like presenting his lover to his brothers, even though he knew that no indication of his actual relationship with the Man would be revealed.
“Did you fight with him at Helm's Deep?” Rúmil asked, he had always been curious about Men, but not curious enough to actually leave the Woods to learn about them.
“Aye. He came to our help with Gandalf at daybreak.” Haldir still remembered the feeling he had had when he had seen Éomer as the leader of the Rohirrim Riders, the sun in the back, with the strength to turn the seemingly lost battle to their favour.
“He is a good warrior, then?” Haldir was aware that Rúmil watched him closely. His brother was intelligent, he must have picked up onto something.
“Indeed. His Men will follow him because they believe in him.” Haldir replied, simply stating the truth instead of giving his own opinion.
“That is indeed a very good reputation.” Orophin remarked quietly.
“You will meet him in your time here and then you can form your own opinion.” They had reached the door to the room and Haldir opened it and let his brothers in. In the fireplace a warming fire was burning, but otherwise the chamber was empty. Éomer was probably still with his Men, Haldir guessed and made his brothers sit down at the table before he rang for a servant and asked for food and wine.
***
It was late when Éomer left his men to return to the room he shared with Haldir. There had never been a word lost about them remaining in the same chamber together and Éomer guessed that some had suspicions about them, others just thought them to be very close brothers in arms. But then, Aragorn, Legoals and Gimli were sharing a room as well and nobody thought about it twice. Whatever kept them silent was good enough for Éomer. He knew his time with Haldir was limited and he wanted to enjoy it was much as he possibly could.
With a nod to the guards at the doorway to the King's House Éomer entered the building and followed the stairs and corridors that led to his room. As soon as he opened the door, he heard voices from the inside, talking quietly. When he saw Haldir sitting together with two other Elves, he realised that they must be speaking their own tongue and found it sounded beautiful.
The three Elves acknowledged him as soon as he entered the room, but Éomer was certain all of them had heard him long before he had actually come into their sight. During the time he had spent with Haldir, he had learned what excellent hearing Elves possessed and he would not make the mistake to assume that he could surprise them. As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he bowed in a formal greeting to the two Elves he did not know.
“Éomer.” Haldir got up and greeted him. “I present to you my brothers, Rúmil and Orophin.”
Éomer nodded to them. “Welcome to Minas Tirith.”
Haldir turned to them and spoke in his own tongue again. The two Elves who indeed bore a certain resemblance to Haldir, bowed to the Man and said some words.
“My brothers greet you and thank you for the welcome.” Haldir translated. “I am one of the few Elves who actually speak the common tongue, as you may have realised with my archers. My brothers speak only a few words, so I am to translate.”
One of the brothers, Rúmil if Éomer remembered correctly, said something to Haldir and Éomer stood next to them and listened to them talking. The Elvish tongue sounded very soft and calm to his ears and he liked the sound of it, he noticed again.
After a moment, Haldir turned to him. “It is late and my brothers will return to the quarters they have been assigned. I will accompany them and show them the way, but I will not be gone for long.”
“Do not worry, Haldir.” Éomer replied casually. “If you want to spend some time with your brothers, I can spent the night in other quarters. I imagine you have not seen in quite a while.”
“Thank you, but that will not be necessary.” The Elf gave him a little smile. “I will be back shortly.”
The other two Elves bowed and said some farewell before they left the room with Haldir. Éomer listened to them retreating through the corridor before he went over to the bed and started to undress. He was tired from the long day, but he wanted to see Haldir before he went to sleep, even if it was only for some minutes. He settled in bed and was asleep long before Haldir returned. But he felt the Elf come to bed and snuggled back against the warmth with a content sigh.
The morning was bright and clear, the sky of a pure blue and the sun shone onto the city of Minas Tirith. The seventh level of the city was filled with people who wanted to take part in the coronation of the King of Gondor. Éomer stood on his assigned position as the representative of Rohan, next to him Haldir and his two brothers, on the opposite side were Éowyn and her beloved, Faramir, the Steward of Gondor.
With a feeling of unrealism, Éomer watched Gandalf place the crown of Gondor onto Aragorn's head. He heard the song in the old language and bowed to the new King when he walked past, seeing all the others present doing the same. Still, it felt unreal. He was certain Aragorn was going to be a great King for Gondor, but it was strange to see the warrior and the King as the same person.
It was when he watched Aragorn catch sight of Lady Arwen, the light in his eyes and the happiness at their reunion that he felt a wave of sadness hit him. He looked to Haldir who stood next to him and saw the Elf watch the couple with a wistful smile and he knew his lover thought the same thing. There would never be a future for themselves, no reunion forever like there was for Lady Arwen and Aragorn.
The official coronation ceremony was followed by feasting and celebration in the whole city. The festive event was necessary more for the inhabitants of the city than for the new King. It served as a celebration of the coronation as of the achievements in the rebuilding of the city. The people needed a moment of relaxation and positive energy and the occasion was convenient. Éomer enjoyed the festivities as much as everybody else, he spent some time with the Men he had worked with over the past month, some time with Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Lady Arwen and the most of the time with Haldir.
The Elf looked simply magnificent, Éomer thought for the tenth time when he looked at Haldir who stood together with to Lord Elrond, Aragorn and Lady Arwen and talked to them. He had obviously taken a bath and was dressed in a plain but beautiful light blue tunic that shimmered as silvery as his hair. The long strands were carefully braided and a silver band sat on his head. Haldir displayed the same ethereal beauty that all Elves possessed and that could be seen on all the Elves who were present at the coronation. But it was only Haldir who attracted Éomer's gaze again and again.
The Rohirrim knew he was not fascinated by the outer magnificence alone, but by the whole being of Haldir, by the many aspects of his character from his outer arrogance to his innermost tenderness. The realization had dawned on Éomer for some time, but he had not dared to think it through. The relationship between them was limited to the time they spent together here at Minas Tirith, afterwards their ways would part and probably never meet again. Éomer was King of Rohan now, he had to return to his country and rebuilt what had been destroyed in the war. There was no time and no place for an attraction for a male Elf in his further life.
Haldir laughed at something Lady Arwen had said and the sound and the sight made a shiver run down Éomer's spine. His Elf was so precious that the Man wished he could protect him from every harm in this world. At the same time he was aware how absurd this urge was on a creature that was more than four-thousand years old and had lived without his protection for millennia and would still be alive when he was long gone. Haldir did not need any protection, especially not from a mere mortal, but the urge was there nonetheless.
Éomer drank some wine, squared his shoulders and walked over to his sister and Faramir. He pushed all thoughts of the Elf aside and concentrated on the moment. It was of no use to brood over this right now when it was time to celebrate and relax.
The day after the coronation began later and much slower than the mornings before. Most people slept in and the works in the city did not start until after noon, but then life went on as it had in the month before. Éomer had began to plan the journey of the Rohirrim back to Edoras, they had stayed long enough at Minas Tirith and the rebuilding of the city had so far progressed that the Gondorians could finish it on their own. It was time to return to Rohan.
In council with Aragorn and several other leaders, Éomer declared that the Rohirrim would leave the city within the week to return to Edoras. When he said the words, he avoided to look into Haldir's eyes, even though he was certain the disciplined Elf would not show any emotion through his normal reserved and arrogant outer shell.
***
It was late when Haldir opened the door to the room he shared with Éomer. The next morning, the Man would leave with his Men and Haldir had done everything in the past week to push that thought away. The preparations had been running at full speed for the last two days and Éomer had been gone most of the day until late at night. But tonight, when Haldir entered the room, he found the Man leaning at the window, back towards the door.
“Tomorrow I will have to leave.” Éomer said quietly without turning. “Éowyn and I have to return to set our country back into order.”
“Aye, I understand.” Haldir forced his voice to stay levelled. He had known this point would come, but it had been easy to forget about it in the time they had been here at Minas Tirith.
“We will leave in the morning, the journey to Edoras is long and we need to start rebuilding our own kingdom.” The Man sounded like he did not like the prospect of leaving too much either and it did Haldir good to know he was not alone in this.
“I will leave in a few days as well to return into the service of my Lady.” Haldir offered and watched Éomer standing at the window, view lost in the distance.
“Life will go on as it has to.”
“Aye, it will.” Haldir stepped behind his Man, put his arm around his waist and whispered into his ear. “Let us leave this circle for some final hours.”
Éomer leaned back against him and bent his head to let it rest onto the Elf's shoulder. “I would like that very much.”
Haldir heard the wistful tone in the rough voice and knew it would be their last night. He tightened his arms, kissed Éomer's neck and silently vowed that he would make this night unforgettable for both of them. The memory would have to last for a lifetime.
***
The sun had just begun to rise above the horizon in the east when Éomer stirred. He felt arms encircling him and instinctively knew it was Haldir who had held him in sleep. The last night had been filled with the most intensive lovemaking, he had taken and been taken in return and he could feel the slight soreness that was a welcome reminder. A gentle smile came to his lips when he opened his eyes and found his Elf watching him.
“Good Morning.” he murmured sleepily and stretched his limbs.
“Good Morning, meleth.” Haldir kissed his neck and Éomer appreciatively turned his head to give the Elf more access. Haldir took up upon the offer and started nibbling the skin under his ear, then kissed a trace over his jaw and made the Man turn his head until he could kiss him. It was the knock on the door that made them stop.
“I ordered breakfast in our rooms.” Haldir explained with a little smile and left the bed to let in the servant with a tray full of food. Éomer took his time to watch his beautiful Elf who had just wrapped a sheet around his narrow hips. The long silver hair flowed over the strong back and he moved with this grace that seemed to be natural to all Elves when he closed the door after the servant had left.
Then he turned to face Éomer with a little smile and pointed at the food. “Do you want to join me in breakfast, meleth?”
Éomer returned the smile. “I would like that very much.”
He got up, wrapped the blanket around his hips and walked over to sit opposite to the Elf at the table. It was a rich breakfast, everything from meat to cheese to fruit and fresh bread that was still warm.
“Thank you.” Éomer stretched his leg until his foot caressed Haldir's shin and smiled at his Elf.
“You are very welcome.” Haldir returned the smile and pressed his shin into the touch. “I figured that you would need a decent breakfast for today's journey and it seemed most convenient to share it with you.”
“Very good thinking.” Éomer slowly let his leg slide up and down in a gentle caress. “It means I can spend more time with you before I have to leave.”
“That was also my thought.” Haldir took a bite of bread and let one hand touch Éomer's over the table. They ate in silence, both lost in thoughts about the upcoming separation. Éomer knew there was no possibility to prevent it, but it still made him feel like he lost a part of his life he could not spare. He would not say so, it was of no use to let the Elf know how much he cared for him if they could not change the course of time. Haldir also seemed uncharacteristically quiet this morning, he had noticed. Had it been anybody else, Éomer would have said he was shy.
“Let me braid your hair for your journey.” the Elf said quietly when they had finished eating. Éomer looked up and wondered for a moment why his instincts told him that this was important to Haldir. For a second, he considered to ask the Elf, but then decided against it.
“Sure. If you want to.” He rose from the table and sat down on the edge of the bed and watched how Haldir knelt next to it. Then he felt his long fingers comb through his hair and braid several small braids that seemed to follow a pattern. It did not take long for the Elf to finish his work and he sat back on his heels and considered his handiwork.
“And? How does it look?” Éomer asked with a teasing grin.
Haldir was quiet for a moment and seemed lost in watching him. Then a small smile appeared on his lips that seemed a bit sad and his voice sounded a little rougher than normal. “Beautiful.”
Éomer felt a shiver run down his spine. He was sure it was caused as much by the sound of the Elf's voice as by his gaze that seemed to caress his skin without even touching him. It let his desire rise instantly and when he licked his lips, he found the Elf's eyes follow the movement. He was definitely not alone with his desire, Haldir's face mirrored it back at him. But there was no further time to act on it and they both were aware of that. Éomer was to leave within the next hour and he could not delay.
“I wished we had more time.” the Man said gently and let his hand touch his lover's cheek.
“Aye, so do I. But we have not.” Haldir leaned in his hand and closed his eyes for a short moment. “You have to get dressed and prepare to leave. There is no time.”
Éomer sighed. “I know.”
Haldir opened his eyes and looked straight and his lover. “Let me help you dress.”
For a moment, Éomer did not know what to say. He understood the request as what it was, an offer to completely trust and be trusted in return, something not easily given between warriors. He felt his heart grow heavy, then he nodded. “Aye.”
Haldir got up and gathered the Man's trousers and his inner tunic, gently pulling the garments on his lover, paying his task his complete attention. With skilful fingers he put on the outer tunic and the chain mail, closed the fastenings of the Man's armour, applied his weapons and finally gave him his sword. Éomer was at the same time shaken and touched by Haldir's devotion and felt his emotions surge close to the surface. Once the Elf was finished, he stood back and lay his hands flat on the armour at the Man's chest.
“Farewell, Éomer of Rohan, melamin.” Haldir's voice was deeper than normal and it tore at Éomer's heart to hear the sadness in it. The Elf cupped his face and gave him a slow but deep kiss, gently toying with the braids that pulled Éomer's hair back.
When Haldir pulled back, his fingers let go of the braids and he took a step back. “You better get into the courtyard. Your Men will already be waiting.”
“I know.” There was nothing he could do or say to ease the pain they both felt at the parting, so Éomer let his hand caress his Elf's face one more time. “Farewell, Haldir of Lorien. I truly hope our paths will cross again.”
“As do I.” Haldir bowed slightly, then Éomer reciprocated the gesture and then turned to leave the room. He heard no footsteps behind him, but he had not expected to either. They had said their farewell.
When Éomer stepped out into the courtyard and mounted Firefoot, Éowyn was already waiting for him, sitting on her horse and watching him silently.
“The braids are very nice. They suit you.” he heard her remark when they rode down the streets to leave the city. He looked over to her to find her watch him with a gentle smile that told him she had meant what she had said.
Éomer gave her a short smile but did not reply anything. He did not feel ready to talk about Haldir, even though he was sure Éowyn had sensed something. He concentrated on the slow ride through the intricate streets leading towards the gates. When they left the city, he turned around and looked back over the white stone houses. At the top of the castle rock, he could see a lonely figure standing completely still. Even though the great distance made it impossible to identify the person, Éomer easily recognized the long, almost white hair flowing in the wind. It made him sad and happy at the same moment to know that Haldir cared enough to watch him leave.
The ride back to Edoras seemed to take ages. Éomer was aware that he was not entirely concentrated on the journey, he was preoccupied with thoughts about Haldir and his behaviour of the morning. It was not very difficult to understand what Haldir had told him with his actions, but Éomer refused to put it in words, even in his mind. Their time together was over now and he had to concentrate on the rebuilding of his lands. With all his might, Éomer pushed every thought about the Elf aside and concentrated on the ride.
***
Éowyn opened the door to the house of healing and looked around until she spotted Melanwyn. With some steps she walked over to the healer and greeted her. She knew the old woman since she had come to Edoras as a child and trusted her deeply.
“Be greeted, healer.”
“My Lady.” Melanwyn smiled at her. “What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to ask for your advice.” Éowyn said quietly and the old woman understood and led her to the back of the house where only the healers had access to because all herbs and ointments were kept there.
“You worry about your brother.” the healer stated without a doubt.
Éowyn nodded, a concerned expression on her face. “He is very silent, seems not to sleep very well and I think he does not eat enough.”
“So I have realised.” Melanwyn answered with a thoughtful gaze.
“Do you have anything that might help him? A strong tea or a good fruit?”
The healer looked at her with a sad smile. “This is not something herbs can cure, My Lady. They do not function in matters of the heart.”
Melanwyn's words only affirmed what Éowyn had suspected, but she wanted to hear that she was not alone with her assumption. “What do you mean?”
The healer's gaze told her that the old woman was aware that Éowyn knew what she was talking about. “He will only grow back to the spirit he was when he is complete again. I am certain you saw the connection between him and Master Haldir as well as I did.”
Éowyn nodded with a little smile. “Aye, I did.”
“He found his other half, my Lady.” the healer said quietly but firmly. “And he found a very good partner in the Elf.”
“What makes you think that?” Éowyn shared that opinion, but she cherished a second point of view.
“Master Haldir worked with me after Helm's Deep and when we returned here to Edoras.” Melanwyn told her. “He may appear arrogant and unapproachable, but he is honest, caring and strong. He did more than was expected from him, and he took care of Men and Elves alike. He has a good heart.”
Éowyn smiled. “That is my impression as well.”
“But you know your brother well enough to understand he will not follow his heart's desire as long as he sees it contradictory to the good of Rohan.” the healer stated and watched the younger woman carefully.
Éowyn sighted. “Aye, I know that.”
“You will do the right thing, my Lady.” Éowyn wished she would feel as certain about that as the healer's voice sounded. Melanwyn turned and gave her a little bag. “I prepared your favourite tea some days ago, my Lady. It will do you good and help you to think.”
Éowyn took the bag and smelled the content with a pleased smile. “Thank you, Melanwyn. It came at the right moment.”
“It is my pleasure, my Lady.” The old woman gave her a motherly smile when Éowyn thanked her for the advice and left the house of healing, making her way over to the Golden Hall. She felt the need to do something to help her brother. He had been so full of life in the month they had spent at Minas Tirith and she had seen this little smile he had had every time he was around the Elven captain. She thought that, in that month, she had seen him truly happy for the first time since their parents had died.
Eowyn crossed the hall and stopped in the doorway when she noticed Éomer standing outside. For a moment, she watched him standing at the edge of the terrace with his gaze lost in the distance of the night sky. He had an air of sadness around him that she had seldom seen. Ever since they had returned to Edoras, Éomer had put all his strength and devotion into the rebuilding of Rohan, trying to make it prosper. He worked without break, only stopped to sleep for some hours at night and was up again early in the morning. His zeal was good for Rohan and its people, but Éowyn was certain it was not good for her brother in the long run.
“Why did you leave him?” She asked quietly, barely more than a whisper to not disturb the tranquil atmosphere when she slowly approached him and stood beside him at the edge of the terrace. She could not help to notice that he still wore the braids she had commented on when they had left Minas Tirith. He had not taken them out even for bathing, then.
“What do you mean?” He did not look at her, but she knew he was very well aware of whom she talked.
“There is no point in trying to deny it, dear brother.” She gave him a short glance. “I am not blind. And the connection between you and Master Haldir was quite obvious to those who know you well.”
“We tried not to let it show.” He sighted. He would not lie to her and she knew it.
“You miss him, do you not?” Éowyn made it sound more like a statement than a question.
“We both have our duties.” Éomer said with a certain resignation in his voice. “And there is no way to combine them. It is of no importance if I miss him or not, for it will not change anything.”
“Would you like there to be a future with him?” Éowyn knew the question was very direct and halfway expected her brother not to answer it.
“There is none, Éowyn. It is pointless to wish for something you cannot have.” He still had not turned to her and she wished to see his face to read his true feelings.
She decided to be bold and caught his face between her hands and turned it until he had to look at her. “That was no response to my question.”
She could read the answer in the stormy green eyes without him having to say a word. She smiled gently. “You made a good choice. He is a very honourable man.”
Éowyn saw her brother close his eyes for a moment to regain his composure. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “Thank you.”
“You should not give him up that easily.” She said when he opened his eyes.
“I have no choice, Éowyn. I am king of Rohan now, and that title demands certain duties.” She had never heard her brother sound so sad and defeated and it pained her. “I cannot follow my heart. I have to marry and produce an heir. I have to fulfil the responsibility I have towards our people.”
“These responsibilities should not cost you your happiness.” Éowyn felt overwhelmed by helplessness. She understood her brother only too well, it was the same for her. Rohan and its people would always come first for them. But it felt utterly wrong to see Éomer so unhappy and stripped off the liveliness and energy that was so much part of him.
“My first loyalty lies with Rohan. You know that as well as I do.”
She gently pulled him into an embrace and the way he actually accepted and returned it told her more about his heartache than words ever could have. “Aye, I do.”
***
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