A year ago today, my doctor told me I had a year to live. Boo yah.

I have been neglecting a million of my friends and I am so sorry for that. No phone sucks. Chicago life has been excellent, I am completely irresponsible, don't care about all of the debt I'm in, go out almost every night, and have met fantastic people. I work at an awesome job that I am fucking up, so who knows how long it will last, but I'm ok ( Read more... )

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http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v303/Nanbananr55/

Well. I have been in Chicago for a week now. I have mixed feelings. A lot of fun has been had, but I'm extremely nervous. What if I don't find a job?! What am I going to do here?? Blake and I are broken up, why were ever said we were together is a mystery, though. Things were really fine without that title and responsibility. Too late to go ( Read more... )

"As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
and it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.
If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again."

I just kind of want to shrivel up and die today. I don't think my insurance company is going to cover my pump. And my credit card protection won't help me on making my credit card payments postponed, because I haven't been fired. And I got a million doctor's office bills today, totalling to about 2000 dollars on top of the thousand I owe in ( Read more... )

How is it possible that I am still awake? Also, how is it possible that my skin has gotten worse as I've gotten older? I have the worst breakout today that I have had ever. EVER. Fuck.

WHAT is wrong with me this week?! I'm horribly depressed and homesick and all on edge about the strangest things. I am sitting here watching Legally Blonde, thinking about how much I miss my sister, and Anna, and Blake, and Justin, and all things home. I just want to close my eyes and open them on Friday. Honestly, I always get this way when ( Read more... )

SO HOMESICK. I really don't think Justin and Blake know how much this means to me. My own parents have shown no interest in seeing me since I moved 6 months ago. I can't wait until I am back where I belong.