Or the Creation Story, as told by the Elves who have the least number of Generations between the creation of the world and the "Present day" of the world
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Admirable effort. I really enjoyed reading this. I am not much of a fantasy reader beyond all things Tolkien, which I love, but this to me echoed his style in a fitting way. Not to mention that creation stories tend to always kick major ass. Always full of epic confrontations and world-forming and whatnot.
I empathize with what you are trying to accomplish, as with the writings you reviewed for me are the parts to a bigger world I am creating, like yourself. My world has a large basis in a future reality though, it's something like half fantasy/half reality. Some weird amalgamation, to be sure. :P Good luck with the rest of your writing in this world you are creating!
Thanks. While I don't want to claim to trying to be "the next Tolkien", I am trying to emulate something between his style and that of the Bible.
And good luck to you also. Thinking back on your piece, are you familiar with some of the Native american origin stories that involve coming up from one world into the next? Because that's what I immediately thought of when I read your piece.
Creation Feedbackivan23March 28 2004, 06:03:25 UTC
Hey Nancy, sorry for the delayed feedback ...
It's a nice piece of work. I think my main issue with it right now is that it doesn't really seem to do enough that is really new. I know that sounds awful, but it's just because I've seen the really inventive stuff that you've come up with in the past for your world backgrounds - I know how much more you can do, so this one doesn't do a lot for me.
I do really like the idea of the pools of celestial blood spawning the 'strange creatures,' and the visual of the rain of mist. I think that if you started with that, maybe working backwards through the creation story rather than forwards? That might give it enough of a twist to seem a little more innovative.
I also like the differentiation between the words of Power and Life. Thematically, three is such an important number in most cultures, you might be able to turn the prison creation into a third Word? Just a thought.
Comments 3
I empathize with what you are trying to accomplish, as with the writings you reviewed for me are the parts to a bigger world I am creating, like yourself. My world has a large basis in a future reality though, it's something like half fantasy/half reality. Some weird amalgamation, to be sure. :P Good luck with the rest of your writing in this world you are creating!
Reply
And good luck to you also. Thinking back on your piece, are you familiar with some of the Native american origin stories that involve coming up from one world into the next? Because that's what I immediately thought of when I read your piece.
Reply
It's a nice piece of work. I think my main issue with it right now is that it doesn't really seem to do enough that is really new. I know that sounds awful, but it's just because I've seen the really inventive stuff that you've come up with in the past for your world backgrounds - I know how much more you can do, so this one doesn't do a lot for me.
I do really like the idea of the pools of celestial blood spawning the 'strange creatures,' and the visual of the rain of mist. I think that if you started with that, maybe working backwards through the creation story rather than forwards? That might give it enough of a twist to seem a little more innovative.
I also like the differentiation between the words of Power and Life. Thematically, three is such an important number in most cultures, you might be able to turn the prison creation into a third Word? Just a thought.
Reply
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