Amnesia is Stupid: Chapter One. A fanfic.

[nancygrew]

Title:  Amnesia is Stupid.  Chapter One.

Author:  nancygrew

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Characters belong to ATWT.

Notes: Futurefic.  AU after Reid drives off to Bay City.  Takes place ~late August 2014.  Takes place after my fic Jade Stays at Luke and Reid's Place.  You do not need to have read any of my other fic in order to understand this one.  I think this story is going to run about 4 or 5 chapters.

Summary:  Amnesia fic.  Stupid Oakdale.


Reid woke up in a hospital bed. He had a headache and dizziness and was slightly nauseous. He reached towards his head and felt a large bandage. The skin under the bandage felt tight and painful, like he had stitches. Crap. He looked around at his surroundings. There was a guy, maybe mid-twenties, sitting scrunched up in a chair near his bed. The guy had light brown hair that seemed to go in a million directions. He wasn’t sure whether the effect was purposeful or not. If it was, then it was a odd way to wear one’s hair. The guy was wearing a wrinkled suit minus the jacket. His tie was undone. The guy was pretty hot. Sexy lips slightly parted. A broad, muscled body. The guy opened his eyes. The guy smiled. Yeah, that smile was something else.

"Reid, you’re awake!" said the guy happily. Reid solemnly agreed that yes, he was indeed awake. The guy stood and leaned over Reid’s bed. He kissed Reid lightly on the lips. Reid brought one of his hands up to hold the guy’s head in place. He licked at the guy’s lips and was really happy that they opened right up to him. Reid was absolutely in love with this guy’s mouth.

"Good morning!" laughed the doctor that entered the room. She was middle aged and pretty. "I take it that you’re feeling alright this morning, Reid?"

"It’s Dr. Oliver," advised Reid. He wondered why the doctor looked so taken aback. Any doctor worth their salt should know to address one of their fellow doctors as Doctor instead of by his or her first name as though he or she were some undereducated Neanderthal that hadn’t earned the right to be called Doctor. The guy that Reid had been kissing looked puzzled.

"Huh," said the doctor in lieu of something more intelligent.

"I assume that I have a mild traumatic brain injury," said Reid. "Even if I didn’t have a headache, mild nausea and dizziness, the stitches I have in my head would be a big neon-colored clue."

"You don’t remember what happened at Java?" asked the guy while licking his lips nervously.

"Heck, I don’t remember Java. I suspect that I have the retrograde version of post traumatic amnesia," Reid lectured. "I can remember all of the elements on the periodic table and don’t seem to have trouble doing long division in my head so I assume I don’t have serious brain damage, just memory loss. Since my head trauma seems recent, I’m not at the stage where I’m worrying about whether it’s permanent. Until we have all the necessary testing, I’m going to assume that the amnesia is temporary and caused by swelling."

"That’s very wise," replied the doctor. Reid rolled his eyes. It wasn’t as though he would say something stupid.

"Wait a minute," said the guy who was suddenly angry looking. "You shoved your tongue in my mouth without having any idea of who I was?"

Reid took his time looking the guy over. He made eye contact with the guy. He raised his eyebrow. "Yeah, I did. I assumed we knew each other otherwise you wouldn’t have molested me. So what’s your name?"

"I’m Mr. Snyder," the guy glared while clenching both his fists. Whoever this guy was to him, he certainly was the overly emotional type. For some reason, Reid didn’t mind the histrionics. Reid looked the guy up and down again and didn’t bother to be subtle about it.

"So, Mr. Snyder," said Reid with a smirk. "What’s the minimum amount of time that I am missing if I don’t remember you?"

"It’s August 22nd, 2014," said Mr. Snyder. "What’s the last thing you remember?"

"Christmas 2009," replied Reid. "I was performing a coiling procedure on a subarachnoid hemorrhage."

Reid rolled his eyes when Mr. Snyder and the doctor exchanged worried looks. It looked like they were going to be dramatic about this even before the appropriate testing was done. Reid suddenly noticed that Mr. Snyder was wearing a wedding ring.

"Freaking great," spat a disgusted Reid. "I’m involved with some closet case who’s gone and married a woman because he’s too much of a coward to accept himself."

Mr. Snyder shot him a peeved look while the doctor smothered a laugh.

"Karen," said Mr. Snyder. "I’m going to leave so that you’re free to examine the patient. Don’t hesitate to perform euthanasia if you feel it’s necessary." Then Mr. Snyder walked out of the room without even saying goodbye to Reid. Mr. Snyder was apparently a rude jerk.

"Dr. Oliver, I am Dr. Karen Haines," explained the doctor. "Since it may make you feel more confident in my abilities, I’d like to mention that you recruited me personally for your neurology wing. You normally call me Karen and you can still do so if you’re comfortable with that."

"This room doesn’t look like any of the patient rooms in my hospital," said Reid.

"You are in Oakdale Memorial Hospital," explained Dr. Haines.

"Where in the name of all that’s holy is Oakdale?" asked Reid.

"It’s in Illinois about an hour outside of Chicago," answered Dr. Haines.

"Did I operate drunk and kill someone on the operating table?" asked Reid. "Because that’s the only reason I could possibly have ended up in the cornfields of Illinois. And even then I would have preferred prison."

Dr. Haines laughed out loud. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. Oakdale Memorial is actually building quite the reputation and isn’t as provincial as you probably fear."

"I somehow doubt that," Reid said acerbically.

"You actually designed a technologically advanced, state-of-the-art neurological wing after you came to Oakdale over four and a half years ago. Since it’s been completed, its reputation has spread and patients come from all over. After you became Chief of Staff, you started working with Dr. Duke Kramer to build a technologically advanced, state-of-the-art pediatrics wing. Oakdale has become quite the little hospital with a big reputation."

"Someone was insane enough to make me Chief of Staff?" asked an appalled Reid. "Did they meet me before hiring me? I’m not exactly the most politic man in the world."

"I don’t think you’ve ever been the most politic person in the room if there was anyone else in the room," grinned Dr. Haines. "But you’re actually weirdly effective as COS. Anyway, I’ll get an orderly to get a wheelchair and we’ll take you down to Imaging to take a look at your big, yet amnesiac, brain."

"Before you go, what’s the deal with the closeted Mr. Snyder?" asked Reid. When Dr. Haines gave him an amused look, Reid had a sudden realization. He hurriedly opened the drawer of his bedside table. Inside the drawer was a soft leather wallet, some keys on a keychain that was shaped like a human brain, a cell phone. And a wedding band. Crap!

Dr. Haines hurriedly excused herself. The door wasn’t even closed completely before she started laughing. Reid was not impressed by her bedside manner.

Mr. Snyder entered the room a few minutes later. "So Karen said that she’s going to have you taken down to Imaging. You should be back by the time they start serving breakfast."

"So did I marry you because I wanted a pretty twink to impress people when I became Chief of Staff?" asked Reid curiously.

"Really?!?" asked an astonished Mr. Snyder. "That’s your first assumption?"

"Well, if it’s August 2014, then I must be 36 and you look to be about ten years younger than me-"

"Eleven years actually," said Mr. Snyder cutting him off.

Reid ignored the interruption. "Plus there’s the fact that you spent the night sleeping in a chair which means that you’re in no condition to go in to work today therefore you must not have a job."

"You don’t think it was appropriate for me to spend the night at the hospital when my husband’s been injured?" asked a confused Mr. Snyder.

"Well, it’s not like I was dying or anything," shrugged Reid. Reid wondered why Mr. Snyder was looking at him like he was some weirdly mutated lab specimen. He didn’t spend any significant time thinking about it because an orderly arrived with a wheelchair.

The orderly greeted Reid with such cheer that Reid assumed that it must be sarcastic. Then the orderly helped Reid into the chair and they went off to have exciting radiological examinations done.

About an hour and a half later, another orderly returned Reid to his room after Reid had discussed the images with Dr. Haines. Yes, just as he thought. There wasn’t anything to worry about. He’d get his memory back sooner rather than later and he’d be back to playing around in brains. Brains. Glorious brains.

Dr. Haines wanted to keep him in the hospital for another day, which was slightly annoying, but it wasn’t as though he was some big crybaby whiner. He would gracefully put up with it.

A very pretty brunette woman in her early thirties was sitting in the chair next to his bed.

"Good morning, Reid," said the woman with a smile. "I’m your sister-in-law Abigail. Can I help you back to bed?"

"I’m good," he said curtly. Reid maneuvered himself into bed from the wheelchair being careful not to flash the woman. Sometimes people got all weird about nudity. The woman lifted up an overnight bag and placed it on the foot of his bed.

"I stopped by your house this morning and got a change of clothes for both you guys," explained Abigail. "My baby brother’s in the bathroom showering."

"Mr. Snyder and I have given out keys to our home so that riff-raff can just come and go as they please?" asked Reid incredulously.

"Exactly," smiled Abigail completely unruffled by Reid referring to her as riff-raff. Reid assumed that she might be a little mentally challenged. "You should know that when I was in your house, I rearranged your sock drawer, licked your toothbrush and replaced your mayonnaise with low-fat mayonnaise."

"That’s just mean," said Reid while he glared at his supposed sister-in-law with narrowed eyes.

Mr. Snyder came out of the bathroom. He was wearing a tight, dark blue Henley and a pair of faded jeans. Reid noticed that the shirt was unbuttoned enough to show that Mr. Snyder had some fur on his chest. Reid wasn’t normally into bears but he had the urge to run his fingers through all of that pretty hair.

"I feel human again," smiled Mr. Snyder. He gave his sister a hug and a kiss. "Thank you so much for bringing us some clothes. You are the greatest big sister ever."

"I am," grinned Abigail. "Okay, I’m going to hit the road so that I can get to work at a semi-decent hour. I don’t want to get the boss mad. He’s a despotic tyrant."

"So somebody in your family has a job," snarked Reid who didn’t appreciate the fact that Mr. Snyder hadn’t even glanced at him after he came out of the bathroom.

Abigail opened her mouth to say something but Luke shook his head at her. "Just ignore the grouch." Abigail glanced between Reid and Mr. Snyder. She laughed lightly and said goodbye to both of them.

Reid glanced around the room and was surprised that in the hour and a half that he’d been gone, the room appeared vastly different.

"Oakdale is pretty small. News travels fast. The muffin basket and fruit baskets are from various former patients. The gourmet gummy bear basket is from Dr. Bob Hughes, the former COS, and his wife Kim Hughes. The flowers are from friends of ours named Henry and Barbara. The cactus is from your friend Paul Ryan and his wife Emily Stewart," explained Luke.

"Huh," said Reid. Mr. Snyder pulled the chair that was near the bed several feet away from the bed. He pulled out a laptop and proceeded to ignore Reid. Reid did the logical thing and got out of bed and proceeded to change out of his hospital gown into the pair of sweatpants and T-shirt that Abigail had brought him in the overnight bag. He made sure to change slowly while stretching more than was absolutely necessary.

After Reid had changed into his clothes and climbed back into bed, he cleared his throat. There was no noticeable reaction from his young twink. It was quite annoying. Reid grabbed a pear out of one of the fruit baskets and started eating it as he stared at Luke.

"So, Dr. Haines said I was shot in the head," Reid said matter-of-factly. He regretted his blunt statement when Mr. Snyder’s face lost all color. Mr. Snyder put his laptop on the floor and crossed his arms over his chest protectively.

"Yes," replied Mr. Snyder after clearing his throat. His eyes were wet. "You were in a coffee shop when a man followed his estranged brother into the shop. He pulled a gun and was about to fire it at him. You were all heroic and threw your coffee cup into the shooter’s face. The gun went off and the bullet grazed the side of your head which is why you have a gazillion stitches, Frankenstein. You hit your head on the table when you fell which is why you have amnesia. The guy panicked and ran after he shot you."

"It’s not very romantic of you to call your husband Frankenstein," Reid explained slowly. "I’m a sensitive flower, you know. And besides Frankenstein was the family name of the doctor not the monster he created."

"Funny how I never noticed how pedantic you were before you lost half of your pretty, pretty hair," said Mr. Snyder. "Reid, we should discuss something. You went through something big and we’ll have to keep an eye out for the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. If you do suffer PTSD, it doesn’t make you less of a man. If you feel the need to talk to someone, you can talk to me or we can get a professional. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable."

"You’re an expert on PTSD, are you?" asked Reid.

Mr. Snyder shrugged. "I’ve been around the block. A few times."

"Well, since I don’t remember the crazy gunman incident, I don’t find it traumatic," said Reid. "Right now, it just feels like some horror movie that someone told me about. A dumb one like Plan Nine from Outer Space not an actually scary one like Nosferatu." Reid shivered.

Suddenly an army of people came into the room. At least it seemed like an army to Reid. There was an older woman with curly brunette hair who looked all soft and cozy. There was an older woman with sleek blonde hair and tailored clothing that looked like she could, and probably had, slit someone’s throat with her manicured nails. There was a well-dressed, middle-aged woman who had an obvious-to-Reid false smile on her face. There was a young boy in jeans and a T-shirt with an illustration demonstrating a simplified version of anthropogenesis where prehistoric primates evolved into the cartoon character of Fred Flintstone who evolved into modern man. There was smiling teenage girl in slacks and a white button down. The last to enter the room was a girl who looked to be in her early twenties who wore khakis, a T-shirt and bright orange Doc Martens.

"Hey everyone," said Mr. Snyder. "You guys can stay for a little while but not for too long."

"Of course," said the tailored woman. "We don’t want to exhaust the patient."

The soft and cozy woman reached Reid’s bedside first. She placed a plastic container and a thermos on the hospital tray near the foot of his bed and sat on his left side. She tenderly kissed his cheek.

"Hello, sweetie," she said. "I’m your grandmother-in-law Emma. I brought you some oatmeal raisin cookies and a thermos of milk. My oatmeal raisin cookies are your favorite."

"Thanks," said Reid startled by the idea that someone would bring him baked goods. He patted her awkwardly on the arm in thanks. She gave him an amused smile.

"It’s been explained to us that you have temporary amnesia," said Emma. "We’re not going to pressure you to try to remember things, but please realize that we’re your family and if you need anything at all, you just tell us."

"Thanks," Reid said while trying to figure out if she was being sarcastic. It had been a lot of years since he had family so he wasn’t quite sure how this was supposed to work.

The tailored woman sat on the bed on Reid’s right side. She placed a wrapped present on the floor in front of a side table near his bed. She patted his cheek and kissed his forehead. "Darling, I’m your grandmother-in-law Lucinda. You gave us all quite the scare. We don’t know how long you’re going to be trapped in this dreadful hospital so I brought you a chess set so that you’ll have something to do when you’re bored. I was going to give it to you for your birthday but we’ll just have to consider it a ‘Hooray, Reid’s alive’ present."

"Thank you," he said warily.

Emma got up and the girl who appeared in her early twenties plopped herself down in her place. "Hey, Reid. I’m your sister-in-law Faith. Usually we greet each other with a long, wet French kiss." The girl opened her mouth.

"Amnesia doesn’t seem to have turned me straight or stupid," said Reid while giving the girl an appalled look.

Faith grinned unabashedly and rubbed his arm. She had a gift bag with her and placed it on his food tray. "I brought you a bunch of mindless magazines to read in case you’re too headache-y to read the latest edition of Neurosurgeon Weekly. We’re really happy that you’re going to be okay, by the way."

"That’s kind of you," Reid said in a tone that was only slightly questioningly. Faith must not have been offended because she grinned at him.

"Hi, Reid," said the young girl who looked to be about 14 or so. She grinned at him like she was happy to see him and plopped herself down in the space that Lucinda had just vacated. She placed an iPod on his side table. "My name is Natalie. I’m your sister-in-law. You adore me completely. I brought you my iPod to borrow so that you can listen to music during your stay. I loaded it up with Geek Rock. Did Dr. Karen tell you about how apes have taken over the planet and are now our evil overlords?"

"Better apes than geese, I suppose," shrugged Reid. "Geese are just flat out mean. Thank you for loaning me your iPod."

"Hi, Reid," said the young boy who looked to be about 8 or 9. He sat down in the space that Faith had just vacated. He chewed his lip nervously. "I’m Ethan. I’m your brother-in-law. I brought you my iPad to use while you’re getting better. I downloaded a couple of movies onto it in case you get bored while you’re here in the hospital. I also downloaded some pictures in case you wanted to see what your life is like now."

"That’s very thoughtful of you," said Reid. He accepted the device from the kid and put it on the side table. He patted the kid awkwardly on the head in thanks.

"It’s okay if you’re scared," the kid continued.

"Pardon?" asked Reid wondering if some moron had told the kid he was dying or something.

"You’re in a strange city surrounded by people you don’t know," said the boy. "It’s like you woke up in the future and the whole world changed while you were sleeping."

"Well, the important thing is that I’m still brilliant and handsome," Reid explained to Ethan. "Everything else will sort itself out." Reid was relieved that the kid was now grinning instead of looking worried.

The pinch-faced woman had her arm around Mr. Snyder’s shoulders. "Reid, we were very relieved when we heard that you were going to be okay. Karen advised us that we shouldn’t inundate you with visitors so the rest of the family will probably be by tomorrow."

"There are more of you?!?" asked an appalled Reid. The army of people smiled at him as though amused by his charming wackiness. So weird.

"Sweetheart, is there anything that you can think of that you need right now?" Emma asked Reid.

"No, I’m good," said Reid. He surprised himself by yawning. He’d only been awake a couple of hours but he was exhausted.

"Okay, say Goodnight Gracie," said Mr. Snyder.

In unison, Faith, Natalie and Ethan said, "Goodnight Gracie." The adults said farewell to him as well. Reid was exhausted and fell asleep before everyone was out the door.

AMNESIA IS STUPID CHAPTER TWO>