Amnesia and Realizations. And Maple-Glazed Turkey. Chapter Eight
Title: Amnesia and Realizations. And Maple-Glazed Turkey.
Author: nancygrew
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Characters belong to ATWT
Notes: Takes place late November 2015. You don't have to read my other fic in order to understand this one. Originally written for Noah_Who but decided to bring it over here with the rest of my fic so that I could play with tags.
Summary: Noah wakes up in Oakdale Memorial Hospital
CHAPTER EIGHT: THURSDAY MORNING AT THE SNOLIVER ESTATE - THANKSGIVING
Noah came downstairs at around eight a.m. He noticed that Ethan was sitting on a couch flanked by Jacob and Eliza. Ethan was telling them a story about zombie pirates. Ethan was considerate of the tender sensibilities of his young audience. The zombies in his stories just licked people’s faces instead of eating their flesh.
Noah wandered into the kitchen area where Dr. Buttface was cutting up vegetables and placing them carefully and methodically into casserole dishes. As far as Noah could tell, Dr Buttface was cutting the peppers, tomatoes, zucchini and onions into pieces of equal size and placing the vegetables methodically into the dishes so that each casserole contained the exact same placement of vegetables. Noah snorted at the thought that Dr. Buttface might be a little OCD. Dr. Buttface pointed at a box of cereal on the counter and grunted out the word, “Breakfast.” Noah poured himself some cereal and sat at one of the stools to watch Dr. Buttface perform his ritualistic vegetable placement.
Natalie, Hallie and Sage come storming upstairs.
“I forgot to thank you earlier this morning and last night. Angel said that you okayed me carving one of the turkeys today,” said Natalie as she hugged Reid tightly.
“You know that there’s no money in it for you, right?” asked a confused Reid.
Natalie laughed. “It’s just that it’s so cool that I’m going to be one of the people you trust to carve up the holiday meal.”
“Well, Angel told me that she taught you how to carve,” said Reid who still seemed puzzled by Natalie’s joy at having permission to carve meat. “And Angel excels at carving so I know that she taught you well. She could have been a doctor. Or a serial killer. Since we’re going to have two turkeys and a ham, it makes sense to have three people doing the carving.”
“It’s tradition for the family patriarch to carve the turkey or ham,” explained Noah. “The oldest male in the family does the carving.” No one was following any of the Snyder family traditions. It was all madness.
“Little Olivia and Oliver aren’t going to be brought up in an environment that has antiquated gender roles,” huffed Reid.
“We’re talking slicing up food not being president or something,” said Noah huffily. “Traditions are important.”
“Stupid traditions aren’t important,” said Reid. “And it doesn’t matter whether the gender discrimination is affecting career opportunities or mundane activities. Any time a human being is prevented from doing something because of their reproductive organs, a little unisex angel dies.”
“Who are Olivia and Oliver, anyway?” asked Noah.
“Olivia and Oliver Snyder are Reid and Luke’s hypothetical future babies,” explained Sage. “Even though they don’t plan on having the babies for another few years, Faith and Jade have been debating which one should be the gestational surrogate and which one should be the egg donor.”
“Since Luke’s Aunt Rose was Mom’s identical twin, Jade and Faith are both genetically Luke’s half-sibling,” said Sage. “So if Reid is the sperm donor, then it’s as close as they can get to having a baby that’s both of theirs.”
“Yeah, but they’re not going to have a baby for a few more years which means that I’ll be old enough to be in the running to donate eggs too,” said Natalie joyfully.
Luke arrived home. He t-shirt was sweat stained and his hair stuck up in various directions.
“Hey guys,” greeted Luke. “I’m gonna grab a shower and then I’ll come down and make you breakfast.”
“I already made them breakfast,” huffed Reid. “I’m not a complete incompetent, you know.”
“What did you make them for breakfast?” asked a suspicious Luke.
“Cereal,” said Reid.
“He didn’t really make us cereal,” said Natalie matter-of-factly. “He just put a couple of boxes of cereal on the counter and grunted at them.”
Reid shrugged at Luke’s look.
“I’m gonna shower,” said Luke.
“I’ll come up with you because I have to talk to you about . . . something,” said Reid. Noah was annoyed that Reid couldn’t even come up with a plausible excuse to be going upstairs with Luke. It was so obvious that he wanted to have sex with Luke. Noah would never have been so sexual in front of the kids. It was completely inappropriate. Noah wondered if he and Luke had ever had sex before they broke up for good.
Noah attempted to make small talk with Natalie and Sage while awaiting Luke’s return. Even he thought that the result was sad and pathetic. Around thirty minutes later, Luke and Reid returned downstairs just as the doorbell rang. Natalie answered the door. It was Paul Ryan. Paul had been married to Luke’s Aunt Meg so Paul was sort of family to Noah.
Eliza ran to her father and was scooped up in his arms. Hallie joined them and was given a hug by her uncle. Paul asked if they had fun staying with Sweet Uncle Luke and Mean Uncle Reid. Both girls giggled and assured him that they had. Paul sent them off to get their sleeping bags.
Once the young girls had left the room, Paul raised an eyebrow at Reid. “So, I heard that your husband’s ex-boyfriend is staying with you. How’s that going?”
Noah realized that he wasn’t going to be getting any familial sympathy from Paul. He also couldn’t understand how Paul hadn’t noticed him sitting in the same room. It’s not like amnesia made you invisible. Did it?
Reid smirked at Paul. “So, is your wife looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with your ex-wife?”
Paul shivered slightly. Hallie and Eliza returned upstairs. Luke handed Paul a container of gingerbread men before he and Hallie and Eliza left.
“Well, I’m off to heroically perform my rounds,” announced Reid. He kissed Luke and patted his butt and left.
Luke went into the kitchen area and got out some potatoes. Noah followed him and sat down at the counter so that he could watch Luke work on the Feast.
“So, when is everyone going out to the farm to get the Hubbard squash?” asked Noah.
“I don’t know if anyone is making a special trip to the farm,” said Luke. “My Uncle Caleb and Aunt Julie and living there with Grandma Emma. Caleb retired from the Seattle PD and moved back to Oakdale with Julie to buy back some of the land that was sold off and to do a little farming. They’ve volunteered to make a couple of squash casseroles and bring them to the Feast.”
Noah frowned deeply. Luke glared at him, daring him to say another word criticizing his meal preparations. Noah was not pleased that Luke was so uncaring of family traditions.
“So, is your Aunt Janet coming to Thanksgiving?” asked Noah. “She’s just so super and amazing.”
“Actually, Janet isn’t living in Oakdale, anymore,” said Luke. “She and Lorenzo, her son with Dusty Donovon, moved to New Zealand with her daughter Liberty.”
“Someone at the hospital told me that Alison Stewart and Chris Hughes moved to New Zealand. And didn’t you say that Rosanna Cabot moved to New Zealand?” questioned Noah.
“Yep. They all ended up living in New Zealand. But the really strange thing is they all ended up in the same town, Ferndale, Auckland,” said Luke. “We’ve all been calling Ferndale ‘Oakdale: The Sequel.’”
“So, where were you this morning?” asked Noah while watching Luke peel potatoes.
“I went to play a little one-on-one basketball,” said Luke. “Kevin and I try to get together once a week or so in order to keep her boyish figures.”
“Not Kevin Davis, right?” asked Noah.
“Yeah, Kevin,” replied Luke. “He’s out of prison, long story, and working at The Groves Country Club.”
“Does Reid know about your complicated history with Kevin?” asked Noah.
“I don’t keep secrets from Reid,” said Luke. “Kevin is going to be joining us for the Autumnal Harvest Feast today. His family is a little . . .psychotic.”
“I can’t believe that Kevin forgave you for stealing the election,” said Noah as he shook his head.
“Well, say what you want about Kevin, and I’ve said a lot, he’s not a self-righteous holier-than-thou, self-proclaimed arbiter of all that is moral and decent,” said Luke.
Noah wondered when exactly Luke had become so mean.
Ethan and Jacob bounced into the kitchen area. “Hey, do you want to assign us a kitchen duty?”
“Yeah, buddy,” answered Luke. “Can you start setting the table?”
Ethan cheerfully agreed. Sage and Natalie joined in to help the boys set the table. When the tables were set, Luke sent them down to the storage area to bring up several crock-pots. He had decided to make the mashed potatoes ahead of time, refrigerate them until an hour or so prior to the meal, and then put them in the crock-pot to heat them back up. Noah tried to explain why that was a waste of time and that he should put off making the mashed potatoes until the turkeys were resting after cooking. Luke tried to justify his ill-considered potato plan by stating that he needed the stovetop burners for the making the succotash and the gravy while the turkeys were resting. Noah felt that Luke was making all sorts of wrong decisions when it came to side dish preparation but he knew that Luke wouldn’t listen to him. Luke never listened to him when Noah tried to help him.
By the time Luke was finished with the potatoes, and adding sour cream even though Emma never added sour cream, the tables were set. Luke thanked the kids for their help. He sent them off to play while he brought down placecards with various names that he had printed out in his office. Luke walked around the table putting a placecard in front of each place setting. He had just finished his task when Dr. Buttface returned home.
Luke strolled over to Dr. Buttface and was about to kiss him when Dr. Buttface was distracted by the names on a couple of the placecards.
“Why do you have me sitting next to--” Reid cut himself off and started walking around the tables to see where exactly Luke had seated everyone. Reid gave a mighy frown. Luke crossed his arms across his chest and waited.
“This is not going to work, at all,” said Reid.
“I spent an amazingly long time figuring out where to seat everyone to ensure a Autumnal Harvest Feast free of drunken arguments about failed marriages, illicit affairs or horrible parenting,” huffed Luke. “You’ll find that the seating chart demonstrates that I have a brilliant tactical mind when it comes to social gatherings. I am Rommel, the Desert Fox, of galas, shindigs and fetes.”
“I’m just trying to be a good host,” exclaimed Reid innocently. “Lily and Holden would both prefer to be sitting at a table that I’m not at.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Luke. “My parents love you like a son. An annoying son that they wished would run away from home to join the circus. Anyway, I can’t sit Damian at my table and my mom and dad at other tables. Feelings would be hurt. Strokes would be had.”
“It’s our house. We’re in charge here. Everyone has to do what we say. If they don’t do what we say, we can make them drop and give us twenty.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re mixing up the rules of hospitality with the rules of the military. Emily Post’s rules are not interchangeable with The Great Santini’s rules. But I’m fine if you want to sit at the head of one table and have me sit at the head of another table. Sit my cornucopia of parents at my table and you can have whoever you want at your table.”
Noah watched as Reid gasped in scandalized shock. “We’re married. If we sit at separate tables, everyone’s going to think that we’re having marriage troubles. And you just know that they’ll assume that the problems we’re having are my fault. They’ll think that I was mean to their precious little cupcake.”
“Since when do you care what people think?” asked a puzzled Luke.
The doorbell rang. Luke went to answer the door. Luke returned with a man in his late twenties or early thirties.
“Noah, this is my cousin MJ,” said Luke. “MJ, this is my friend Noah Mayer. He has amnesia and doesn’t remember anything before 2008 so don’t quiz him on current events.”
“Whatever,” said MJ who was completely unconcerned about any issues that some stranger might be having. “The reason I came over early is to let you know that you cannot sit my mom and your mom at the same table during Thanksgiving.”
Luke sighed. He turned to Reid. “You can sit everyone wherever you want.” Reid whooped and immediately started re-arranging place cards.
“Do I have to sit couples together if I only want to sit near one of them?” Reid asked Luke with a pleading look. “I shouldn’t be penalized because someone I actually like chose to marry or date an idiot.”
“You are completely in charge of the seating chart. Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility.”
“I am Emperor of the Seating Chart!” crowed Reid as he continued rearranging place cards. “Behold my splendor and bow down before me.”
Luke and MJ exchanged amused glances. Noah rolled his eyes.
“What’s going on between my mom and Aunt Iva? Or is this something that they need to settle between the two of them with everyone in the family minding their own darn business?” asked Luke while he watched Reid boogie around the tables moving place cards.
“Last night, my mom and Damian and your mom and Adam went out to dinner at the Mona Lisa,” explained MJ. “Apparently, Aunt Lily got a little tipsy and referred to my mom as Damian’s mistress.”
Luke winced.
“Mistress Iva can sit at my table with her hot, younger lover,” said Reid. “I’ll put Lily at Table Siberia.”
“Is Table Siberia code for Burger King?” asked MJ curiously.
Reid huffed a laugh. “MJ, do you want to sit at the same table as your mom at my table or do you want to sit at one of the less cool tables? Since you’re an unmarried Snyder male, I should warn you that Katie’s going to be at my table. She’s about due to marry another Snyder.”
“I’m too young to be sacrificed to Marryin’ Katie,” said MJ. “You can sit me at one of the lesser tables.”
“Noah, I’m sitting you at the same table as Lily and Holden so you know at least a couple of people,” said Reid. It wasn’t lost on Noah that Reid was putting him at a ‘less cool’ table.
Even though the Feast wasn’t for a few more hours, MJ decided to stick around. Luke and MJ had a vigorous discussion regarding the ingredients for a ‘good’ hummus. They ended up playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ in order to decide the final recipe. As they finished up the hummus, the kids returned from wherever they had gone off to. They dragged MJ, and the hummus and pita chips, off to one of the seating areas. Noah noticed Luke and Reid standing in the kitchen whispering to one another quietly. Noah felt a surge of anger and wanted to hit someone. Sometimes he feared that he was more his father’s son than he had believed.
The doorbell rang. Luke’s grandmother Lucinda arrived with her husband John Dixon. John and Lucinda had brought several bottles of chardonnay with them and handed them off to Luke to take to the kitchen.
“Luke, I don’t think you should be handling the wine,” said Noah. “You have a serious drinking problem.”
Noah watched Luke’s face become shuttered. Luke turned around without saying a word and walked towards the kitchen with the wine.
“How dare you be presumptuous enough to bring up my grandson’s past problem with alcohol,” snarled Lucinda while fingering her pearls.
“I’m just trying to be honest,” said a hurt Noah. “Luke has a drinking problem and he shouldn’t be trusted with alcohol.”
“From what Lily told me this morning, you don’t have any memories of the last seven years. But you’re quite willing to just leap to the conclusion that Luke is drinking again. He hasn’t had a single urge to drink since the two of you ended your mesalliance. Also, your father is a psychotic murderer and your mother was a flesh peddler,” sneered Lucinda. “I’m just trying to be honest.”
“It’s cruel of you to mention my father to me,” said Noah. “You know how hard his death was for me.”
“Oh, please,” said Lucinda. “Your father isn’t dead. He faked his death. For some inexplicable reason, you blamed my grandson for your father’s decision to end his own life. Even though Luke was trying to protect you from the man who twice tried to kill him. And it turns out that the murdering piece of filth wasn’t even dead.”
Reid walked over to Lucinda, John and Noah. He smiled at Lucinda. “Lucinda! I’m so glad you got here early.”
“Hello, darling,” greeted Lucinda as she kissed Reid on the cheek and hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad you didn’t have to spend all day at the hospital. Why don’t John and I come over to the kitchen island so that we can talk to you and Luke while you do that ‘cooking’ thing that seems to be all the rage with young people today.”
Lucinda, John and Reid walked towards the kitchen island leaving Noah to wonder why Lucinda had turned against him. She had always supported his relationship with Luke. Had Dr. Buttface turned her against Noah?
Luke poured Lucinda and John glasses of wine. John and Lucinda sat down at the kitchen island while Reid made up a tray of cheeses, grapes, wedges of pears, crackers and olives for the group. Reid and John began debating the merits of health care reform versus nationalized medicine. Lucinda and Luke began debating whether inherited wealth was good or bad for the individual and for the country. They all ignored Noah. Noah wandered over to MJ and the kids. The kids valiantly tried to include Noah in the conversation but it was obvious that he was a stranger to them now.
Author: nancygrew
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Characters belong to ATWT
Notes: Takes place late November 2015. You don't have to read my other fic in order to understand this one. Originally written for Noah_Who but decided to bring it over here with the rest of my fic so that I could play with tags.
Summary: Noah wakes up in Oakdale Memorial Hospital
CHAPTER EIGHT: THURSDAY MORNING AT THE SNOLIVER ESTATE - THANKSGIVING
Noah came downstairs at around eight a.m. He noticed that Ethan was sitting on a couch flanked by Jacob and Eliza. Ethan was telling them a story about zombie pirates. Ethan was considerate of the tender sensibilities of his young audience. The zombies in his stories just licked people’s faces instead of eating their flesh.
Noah wandered into the kitchen area where Dr. Buttface was cutting up vegetables and placing them carefully and methodically into casserole dishes. As far as Noah could tell, Dr Buttface was cutting the peppers, tomatoes, zucchini and onions into pieces of equal size and placing the vegetables methodically into the dishes so that each casserole contained the exact same placement of vegetables. Noah snorted at the thought that Dr. Buttface might be a little OCD. Dr. Buttface pointed at a box of cereal on the counter and grunted out the word, “Breakfast.” Noah poured himself some cereal and sat at one of the stools to watch Dr. Buttface perform his ritualistic vegetable placement.
Natalie, Hallie and Sage come storming upstairs.
“I forgot to thank you earlier this morning and last night. Angel said that you okayed me carving one of the turkeys today,” said Natalie as she hugged Reid tightly.
“You know that there’s no money in it for you, right?” asked a confused Reid.
Natalie laughed. “It’s just that it’s so cool that I’m going to be one of the people you trust to carve up the holiday meal.”
“Well, Angel told me that she taught you how to carve,” said Reid who still seemed puzzled by Natalie’s joy at having permission to carve meat. “And Angel excels at carving so I know that she taught you well. She could have been a doctor. Or a serial killer. Since we’re going to have two turkeys and a ham, it makes sense to have three people doing the carving.”
“It’s tradition for the family patriarch to carve the turkey or ham,” explained Noah. “The oldest male in the family does the carving.” No one was following any of the Snyder family traditions. It was all madness.
“Little Olivia and Oliver aren’t going to be brought up in an environment that has antiquated gender roles,” huffed Reid.
“We’re talking slicing up food not being president or something,” said Noah huffily. “Traditions are important.”
“Stupid traditions aren’t important,” said Reid. “And it doesn’t matter whether the gender discrimination is affecting career opportunities or mundane activities. Any time a human being is prevented from doing something because of their reproductive organs, a little unisex angel dies.”
“Who are Olivia and Oliver, anyway?” asked Noah.
“Olivia and Oliver Snyder are Reid and Luke’s hypothetical future babies,” explained Sage. “Even though they don’t plan on having the babies for another few years, Faith and Jade have been debating which one should be the gestational surrogate and which one should be the egg donor.”
“Since Luke’s Aunt Rose was Mom’s identical twin, Jade and Faith are both genetically Luke’s half-sibling,” said Sage. “So if Reid is the sperm donor, then it’s as close as they can get to having a baby that’s both of theirs.”
“Yeah, but they’re not going to have a baby for a few more years which means that I’ll be old enough to be in the running to donate eggs too,” said Natalie joyfully.
Luke arrived home. He t-shirt was sweat stained and his hair stuck up in various directions.
“Hey guys,” greeted Luke. “I’m gonna grab a shower and then I’ll come down and make you breakfast.”
“I already made them breakfast,” huffed Reid. “I’m not a complete incompetent, you know.”
“What did you make them for breakfast?” asked a suspicious Luke.
“Cereal,” said Reid.
“He didn’t really make us cereal,” said Natalie matter-of-factly. “He just put a couple of boxes of cereal on the counter and grunted at them.”
Reid shrugged at Luke’s look.
“I’m gonna shower,” said Luke.
“I’ll come up with you because I have to talk to you about . . . something,” said Reid. Noah was annoyed that Reid couldn’t even come up with a plausible excuse to be going upstairs with Luke. It was so obvious that he wanted to have sex with Luke. Noah would never have been so sexual in front of the kids. It was completely inappropriate. Noah wondered if he and Luke had ever had sex before they broke up for good.
Noah attempted to make small talk with Natalie and Sage while awaiting Luke’s return. Even he thought that the result was sad and pathetic. Around thirty minutes later, Luke and Reid returned downstairs just as the doorbell rang. Natalie answered the door. It was Paul Ryan. Paul had been married to Luke’s Aunt Meg so Paul was sort of family to Noah.
Eliza ran to her father and was scooped up in his arms. Hallie joined them and was given a hug by her uncle. Paul asked if they had fun staying with Sweet Uncle Luke and Mean Uncle Reid. Both girls giggled and assured him that they had. Paul sent them off to get their sleeping bags.
Once the young girls had left the room, Paul raised an eyebrow at Reid. “So, I heard that your husband’s ex-boyfriend is staying with you. How’s that going?”
Noah realized that he wasn’t going to be getting any familial sympathy from Paul. He also couldn’t understand how Paul hadn’t noticed him sitting in the same room. It’s not like amnesia made you invisible. Did it?
Reid smirked at Paul. “So, is your wife looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with your ex-wife?”
Paul shivered slightly. Hallie and Eliza returned upstairs. Luke handed Paul a container of gingerbread men before he and Hallie and Eliza left.
“Well, I’m off to heroically perform my rounds,” announced Reid. He kissed Luke and patted his butt and left.
Luke went into the kitchen area and got out some potatoes. Noah followed him and sat down at the counter so that he could watch Luke work on the Feast.
“So, when is everyone going out to the farm to get the Hubbard squash?” asked Noah.
“I don’t know if anyone is making a special trip to the farm,” said Luke. “My Uncle Caleb and Aunt Julie and living there with Grandma Emma. Caleb retired from the Seattle PD and moved back to Oakdale with Julie to buy back some of the land that was sold off and to do a little farming. They’ve volunteered to make a couple of squash casseroles and bring them to the Feast.”
Noah frowned deeply. Luke glared at him, daring him to say another word criticizing his meal preparations. Noah was not pleased that Luke was so uncaring of family traditions.
“So, is your Aunt Janet coming to Thanksgiving?” asked Noah. “She’s just so super and amazing.”
“Actually, Janet isn’t living in Oakdale, anymore,” said Luke. “She and Lorenzo, her son with Dusty Donovon, moved to New Zealand with her daughter Liberty.”
“Someone at the hospital told me that Alison Stewart and Chris Hughes moved to New Zealand. And didn’t you say that Rosanna Cabot moved to New Zealand?” questioned Noah.
“Yep. They all ended up living in New Zealand. But the really strange thing is they all ended up in the same town, Ferndale, Auckland,” said Luke. “We’ve all been calling Ferndale ‘Oakdale: The Sequel.’”
“So, where were you this morning?” asked Noah while watching Luke peel potatoes.
“I went to play a little one-on-one basketball,” said Luke. “Kevin and I try to get together once a week or so in order to keep her boyish figures.”
“Not Kevin Davis, right?” asked Noah.
“Yeah, Kevin,” replied Luke. “He’s out of prison, long story, and working at The Groves Country Club.”
“Does Reid know about your complicated history with Kevin?” asked Noah.
“I don’t keep secrets from Reid,” said Luke. “Kevin is going to be joining us for the Autumnal Harvest Feast today. His family is a little . . .psychotic.”
“I can’t believe that Kevin forgave you for stealing the election,” said Noah as he shook his head.
“Well, say what you want about Kevin, and I’ve said a lot, he’s not a self-righteous holier-than-thou, self-proclaimed arbiter of all that is moral and decent,” said Luke.
Noah wondered when exactly Luke had become so mean.
Ethan and Jacob bounced into the kitchen area. “Hey, do you want to assign us a kitchen duty?”
“Yeah, buddy,” answered Luke. “Can you start setting the table?”
Ethan cheerfully agreed. Sage and Natalie joined in to help the boys set the table. When the tables were set, Luke sent them down to the storage area to bring up several crock-pots. He had decided to make the mashed potatoes ahead of time, refrigerate them until an hour or so prior to the meal, and then put them in the crock-pot to heat them back up. Noah tried to explain why that was a waste of time and that he should put off making the mashed potatoes until the turkeys were resting after cooking. Luke tried to justify his ill-considered potato plan by stating that he needed the stovetop burners for the making the succotash and the gravy while the turkeys were resting. Noah felt that Luke was making all sorts of wrong decisions when it came to side dish preparation but he knew that Luke wouldn’t listen to him. Luke never listened to him when Noah tried to help him.
By the time Luke was finished with the potatoes, and adding sour cream even though Emma never added sour cream, the tables were set. Luke thanked the kids for their help. He sent them off to play while he brought down placecards with various names that he had printed out in his office. Luke walked around the table putting a placecard in front of each place setting. He had just finished his task when Dr. Buttface returned home.
Luke strolled over to Dr. Buttface and was about to kiss him when Dr. Buttface was distracted by the names on a couple of the placecards.
“Why do you have me sitting next to--” Reid cut himself off and started walking around the tables to see where exactly Luke had seated everyone. Reid gave a mighy frown. Luke crossed his arms across his chest and waited.
“This is not going to work, at all,” said Reid.
“I spent an amazingly long time figuring out where to seat everyone to ensure a Autumnal Harvest Feast free of drunken arguments about failed marriages, illicit affairs or horrible parenting,” huffed Luke. “You’ll find that the seating chart demonstrates that I have a brilliant tactical mind when it comes to social gatherings. I am Rommel, the Desert Fox, of galas, shindigs and fetes.”
“I’m just trying to be a good host,” exclaimed Reid innocently. “Lily and Holden would both prefer to be sitting at a table that I’m not at.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Luke. “My parents love you like a son. An annoying son that they wished would run away from home to join the circus. Anyway, I can’t sit Damian at my table and my mom and dad at other tables. Feelings would be hurt. Strokes would be had.”
“It’s our house. We’re in charge here. Everyone has to do what we say. If they don’t do what we say, we can make them drop and give us twenty.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re mixing up the rules of hospitality with the rules of the military. Emily Post’s rules are not interchangeable with The Great Santini’s rules. But I’m fine if you want to sit at the head of one table and have me sit at the head of another table. Sit my cornucopia of parents at my table and you can have whoever you want at your table.”
Noah watched as Reid gasped in scandalized shock. “We’re married. If we sit at separate tables, everyone’s going to think that we’re having marriage troubles. And you just know that they’ll assume that the problems we’re having are my fault. They’ll think that I was mean to their precious little cupcake.”
“Since when do you care what people think?” asked a puzzled Luke.
The doorbell rang. Luke went to answer the door. Luke returned with a man in his late twenties or early thirties.
“Noah, this is my cousin MJ,” said Luke. “MJ, this is my friend Noah Mayer. He has amnesia and doesn’t remember anything before 2008 so don’t quiz him on current events.”
“Whatever,” said MJ who was completely unconcerned about any issues that some stranger might be having. “The reason I came over early is to let you know that you cannot sit my mom and your mom at the same table during Thanksgiving.”
Luke sighed. He turned to Reid. “You can sit everyone wherever you want.” Reid whooped and immediately started re-arranging place cards.
“Do I have to sit couples together if I only want to sit near one of them?” Reid asked Luke with a pleading look. “I shouldn’t be penalized because someone I actually like chose to marry or date an idiot.”
“You are completely in charge of the seating chart. Just remember that with great power comes great responsibility.”
“I am Emperor of the Seating Chart!” crowed Reid as he continued rearranging place cards. “Behold my splendor and bow down before me.”
Luke and MJ exchanged amused glances. Noah rolled his eyes.
“What’s going on between my mom and Aunt Iva? Or is this something that they need to settle between the two of them with everyone in the family minding their own darn business?” asked Luke while he watched Reid boogie around the tables moving place cards.
“Last night, my mom and Damian and your mom and Adam went out to dinner at the Mona Lisa,” explained MJ. “Apparently, Aunt Lily got a little tipsy and referred to my mom as Damian’s mistress.”
Luke winced.
“Mistress Iva can sit at my table with her hot, younger lover,” said Reid. “I’ll put Lily at Table Siberia.”
“Is Table Siberia code for Burger King?” asked MJ curiously.
Reid huffed a laugh. “MJ, do you want to sit at the same table as your mom at my table or do you want to sit at one of the less cool tables? Since you’re an unmarried Snyder male, I should warn you that Katie’s going to be at my table. She’s about due to marry another Snyder.”
“I’m too young to be sacrificed to Marryin’ Katie,” said MJ. “You can sit me at one of the lesser tables.”
“Noah, I’m sitting you at the same table as Lily and Holden so you know at least a couple of people,” said Reid. It wasn’t lost on Noah that Reid was putting him at a ‘less cool’ table.
Even though the Feast wasn’t for a few more hours, MJ decided to stick around. Luke and MJ had a vigorous discussion regarding the ingredients for a ‘good’ hummus. They ended up playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ in order to decide the final recipe. As they finished up the hummus, the kids returned from wherever they had gone off to. They dragged MJ, and the hummus and pita chips, off to one of the seating areas. Noah noticed Luke and Reid standing in the kitchen whispering to one another quietly. Noah felt a surge of anger and wanted to hit someone. Sometimes he feared that he was more his father’s son than he had believed.
The doorbell rang. Luke’s grandmother Lucinda arrived with her husband John Dixon. John and Lucinda had brought several bottles of chardonnay with them and handed them off to Luke to take to the kitchen.
“Luke, I don’t think you should be handling the wine,” said Noah. “You have a serious drinking problem.”
Noah watched Luke’s face become shuttered. Luke turned around without saying a word and walked towards the kitchen with the wine.
“How dare you be presumptuous enough to bring up my grandson’s past problem with alcohol,” snarled Lucinda while fingering her pearls.
“I’m just trying to be honest,” said a hurt Noah. “Luke has a drinking problem and he shouldn’t be trusted with alcohol.”
“From what Lily told me this morning, you don’t have any memories of the last seven years. But you’re quite willing to just leap to the conclusion that Luke is drinking again. He hasn’t had a single urge to drink since the two of you ended your mesalliance. Also, your father is a psychotic murderer and your mother was a flesh peddler,” sneered Lucinda. “I’m just trying to be honest.”
“It’s cruel of you to mention my father to me,” said Noah. “You know how hard his death was for me.”
“Oh, please,” said Lucinda. “Your father isn’t dead. He faked his death. For some inexplicable reason, you blamed my grandson for your father’s decision to end his own life. Even though Luke was trying to protect you from the man who twice tried to kill him. And it turns out that the murdering piece of filth wasn’t even dead.”
Reid walked over to Lucinda, John and Noah. He smiled at Lucinda. “Lucinda! I’m so glad you got here early.”
“Hello, darling,” greeted Lucinda as she kissed Reid on the cheek and hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad you didn’t have to spend all day at the hospital. Why don’t John and I come over to the kitchen island so that we can talk to you and Luke while you do that ‘cooking’ thing that seems to be all the rage with young people today.”
Lucinda, John and Reid walked towards the kitchen island leaving Noah to wonder why Lucinda had turned against him. She had always supported his relationship with Luke. Had Dr. Buttface turned her against Noah?
Luke poured Lucinda and John glasses of wine. John and Lucinda sat down at the kitchen island while Reid made up a tray of cheeses, grapes, wedges of pears, crackers and olives for the group. Reid and John began debating the merits of health care reform versus nationalized medicine. Lucinda and Luke began debating whether inherited wealth was good or bad for the individual and for the country. They all ignored Noah. Noah wandered over to MJ and the kids. The kids valiantly tried to include Noah in the conversation but it was obvious that he was a stranger to them now.