Doubt (Chapter 3 - Time to Pretend)
Title:Doubt
Author:glasheen25
Pairing/Characters:Nancy/Ned, Nancy/Frank
Series:post-files
Word Count:1789
Rating:R
Summary:In the first instance Ned misses his flight, missing Nancy's birthday in the process. In the second instance Ned makes his flight, arriving on time. How a seemingly inconsequential event could lead Nancy's life in two completely different directions.
Spoilers:None
Warnings:None
Sitting in the hair salon, Nancy may as well have been sitting in the executioner’s chair, the way she stared dully into the mirror. She hated how the hairdresser smiled at her with an overly bright expression, desperate in her attempts to extract some excited chatter about her wedding plans, her disappointment almost palpable when she received none in return. She was probably more accustomed to glowing brides-to-be bubbling with excitement about their special day than this sullen mess answering in monosyllabic answers. Nancy needed to get out of here fast. The air was too hot and too dry and the motion of the other hairdressers, quick flashes of black and blonde rushing around the crowded salon, was making her feel sick.
Fidgeting anxiously with her engagement ring, Nancy had a sudden, desperate yearning for caffeine. Her sole morning cup of coffee hadn't been nearly enough to prepare her for opening the door of her father's house to a wildly exuberant Bess. Hell, even George had mustered up enough excitement about the wedding to distract her from all thoughts of the dreaded bridesmaid's dress. Perfectly groomed hairdressers gathered around Nancy, sighing with envy at her ring and remarking on how lucky the weather was, the process leaving her feeling utterly inadequate. If these girls who didn't even know Nancy could display such enthusiasm, then why couldn't she?
What's wrong with me? she scolded herself, her sigh of exaggeration causing the red-faced hairdresser to look at her sharply.
"Am I pulling it a little tight?" she queried with sharp eyes, her fingers deftly pulling the red-blonde strands into rollers. "It's just, it won't set otherwise," she added by way of apology, tightly rolling another section of hair onto her head.
"Sorry, just thinking out loud." Nancy mumbled, red-faced, grabbing a magazine and flicking though it distractedly.
She wasn't sure how everything had happened so fast. When she had agreed to Ned's proposal, it had all seemed so far away and it had been easy to get excited about wedding plans, to get distracted by seating arrangements and dress fittings and color schemes, to forget that behind all this frivolity was the reality that this was it, this was forever. Her letter of acceptance into the FBI had arrived the other morning and Nancy hadn't even mentioned it to Ned, choosing instead to shred the evidence and discard it in the garbage can. This was not part of the plan. Ned's career was really taking off and Nancy had just been accepted on an internship into a prestigious law firm in Chicago. On the outside they appeared to have it all, the perfect house, the perfect life, but inside Nancy knew differently. Marriage was supposed to signal a new beginning, new opportunities, and Nancy knew she should be feeling excited, but instead all she felt was trapped.
It's just nerves, Nancy assured herself fearfully, willing herself to somehow get into bride-mode, with acceptable bride related concerns about flowers or dresses, and not these terrible, panicky doubts about marrying Ned.
"That's it, you're done," the hairdresser suddenly announced, examining her work with a critical eye, frantically spraying the loose knot of curls. "What do you think?"
"It's lovely," Nancy murmured distractedly, barely caring what her hair looked like, as long as she could get out of here, quickly.
"Everything will be fine, you know," the older woman assured Nancy with an intuitive wink, sensing the girl's nervousness. "My daughter was just like you, nervous as hell, worrying about God knows what," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "But in the end, things went perfectly and she even managed to have fun. So relax and enjoy it, that's what it's all about," she finished with a smile, sliding some extra pins into her hair as an afterthought.
Afraid of what she'd say if she dared open her mouth, Nancy merely smiled. If only her fears and doubts could be laid at something as trivial as a three-tier cake and some over-elaborate arrangements of flowers.
xxxxx
Flutes of champagne in hand, Nancy and George giggled excitedly as they sipped the bubbling liquid, much to Bess's consternation as she struggled to apply eyeliner to the unruly girls.
"Nancy, can't you stay still for one minute?" Bess scolded her friend as she wielded the makeup brush menacingly. "At the rate you're going, you'll be walking up the aisle with scary clown makeup. Now is that the look you really envisioned for your wedding day?" The expression on her face was so utterly serious that Nancy had to restrain herself from bursting into laughter.
"Come on Bess, it would be hilarious," George grinned, unable to resist the opportunity to poke fun at her cousin. "Can you imagine people's faces? Can you imagine Ned's face?"
"He probably wouldn't even notice," Nancy shot back jokingly, causing the pair to dissolve into fits of laughter.
It was a familiar scene; the girls were lounging around Nancy's room, Bess and George at each other's throats, the bed littered with all manner of tiny jars and bottles of makeup, but things were different now. The girls weren't teenagers anymore, and this wasn't some lazy Saturday evening spent gossiping and listening to the latest band; this was Nancy's wedding day, truly a signal of how much things had changed. In gleaming ivory, Nancy's dress hung regally from the bedroom door, the carefully chosen jewellery snaked in between childhood treasures and framed photographs. Their bouquets were tossed casually on the bed, tiny jewels sparking among the flowers.
"Is this much makeup really necessary?" George asked dubiously, pushing the vast collection of jars and brushes aside to make room on the bed. "Nancy's getting married, not appearing on Broadway."
"Yes, it is necessary," Bess shot back hotly, darting a look of exasperation at her cousin before applying Nancy's lipstick with exacting precision. "Honestly, I can only imagine what you'd do if I wasn't here."
"Have fun, get drunk," George shrugged, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she adjusted the pale blue flower tucked into her hair, her only concession to bridal fashion.
Whether alcohol related or not, Nancy's nerves had considerably eased and she now dismissed her earlier doubts and worries as ludicrous. She loved Ned, she was sure she did. He would make the perfect husband, and forgoing the FBI was only a small sacrifice to have to make when she considered the wonderful life they would have together.
"You look gorgeous," Bess bubbled excitedly, her annoyance at George put temporarily on hold with her excitement about the day ahead. "Are you ready to try on your dress?"
Something small still niggled at Nancy but she pushed it to the back of her head. "Sure," she smiled, taking a tentative step towards the dress and her future happiness with Ned.
xxxxx
Too early for even the most punctual of guests to be present, the church was unnaturally still and quiet, making Nancy feel almost like a mother creeping around her sleeping child. The light outside, dimmed by the stained glass windows, crept in glorious shades of blue, red and green, casting rainbow hues on the floors and walls. In stark contrast, the pale white of the flowers pinned neatly to the pews and spilling from the altar gave the church an almost ethereal glow. At the sudden creak of the door, Nancy spun around, smiling as she saw her father make his way towards her.
"Oh, honey, you look beautiful," Carson Drew declared proudly, pulling his daughter into a gentle hug, careful not to crush her dress. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," she lied none too convincingly, evading her father's searching gaze.
"Really?"
"Okay, you got me," she sighed in answer to her father's questioning gaze. "I am so incredibly nervous. I don't know how I'm going to make it up the aisle, much less manage to get married to Ned." And I can't stop thinking I'm making this incredible mistake, she couldn't help adding in the privacy of her head, but to her father she merely smiled. "This is normal, isn't it? I mean, everyone feels like this, don't they?"
"Of course they do. You'll be fine, Nancy," her father reassured her resolutely, his expression suddenly softening. "You know, I look at you now and I don't know where the years have gone. I can't believe my baby is getting married."
"I know," she replied, her tone more somber then her father's, but if he noticed, he didn't say anything.
"Where are the girls?" he asked after a thoughtful pause. "I thought Bess would be glued to your side."
"Oh, she is, believe me," Nancy reassured him with a laugh. "I can hardly breathe without her coming at me with a makeup brush. Thankfully George is engaged in some mascara standoff, so I've been granted a temporary reprieve. No doubt she'll be back in a minute so I need to enjoy the peace and quiet while I can."
"Sounds like Bess all right," her father laughed, suddenly stopping when he caught sight of his watch. "Honey, you'd better finish getting ready, people will be arriving soon. Now you don't want to keep Ned waiting, do you?"
"Not for longer than a half an hour anyway," she returned mischievously before returning to her father with a serious expression. "Dad, I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?"
"Do you love Ned?" he asked pointedly, gazing in concern at his daughter.
"Yes, but..." she sighed, unable to put her mixed-up thoughts into words. "Dad, what if it's not as simple as that?"
"If you love him, it is," he pointed out gently. "Nancy, you have to relax, you'll be fine. I promise you."
Bolstered by his words, Nancy smiled. Her father was right. It so common for a bride-to-be to experience nervousness, it was almost cliché. This was just a temporary glitch in an otherwise perfect relationship. In the morning all this would be over and they'd be fine; more then fine, they'd be perfect. Tomorrow, they'd wake up in each other's arms, ready to begin the next chapter in their lives.
"Thanks, Dad," Nancy smiled, suddenly feeling infinitely better. "Now I better find Bess and get her to help me with my veil because I'll never manage it on my own."
"You do that, Nan," her father smiled encouragingly, giving her a final hug. "I'll see you in a minute, okay?"
"Okay," she agreed, a smile brightening her face as she headed for the door, her dress trailing awkwardly behind her.
xxxxx
The somber tones of the priest pronounced them man and wife and then Ned's lips were soft on hers, his hands cupping her face, claiming her as his.
"We did it," he murmured softly, his eyes shining as he pulled her close for another kiss.
"I know," she smiled, moved by the emotion on his face, and at that moment Nancy was filled with a sudden reassurance that everything would be okay. Her hand enclosed tightly in his, Nancy and Ned walked up the aisle to a raucous cheer and what felt like a thousand flashing cameras, the moment captured forever on film. Pushing open the heavy wooden doors and walking out into the sunshine, Nancy could finally let herself believe that they would be happy.
xxxxx
The room was aglow with thousands of sparkling lights and the sweet scent of flowers was heavy in the air as the opening notes of a song tinkled from the piano. Their jackets shrugged off, men sat back in the chairs talking sports and politics, while the woman hung on the edge of the dance floor, dancing distractedly, their children running in and out of the tables, cutlery and napkins scattering in their wake.
"Dance with me," Ned requested softly, holding his hand out to hers and pulling her up softly beside him.
"Sure," Nancy replied with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I just hope you're ready for the lift. Don't you dare drop me in front of all these people or you'll face the full force of my wrath later."
"Good one, Drew," he retorted jokingly, his hand resting comfortingly on the small of her back as he guided her out onto the dance floor. "Although, I must admit I'm intrigued about that bit about later. What exactly did you have in mind?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" she murmured with a playful wink, their conversation brought to a sudden halt as they wandered onto the dance floor.
The first dance had proved to be a bit of a stumbling block in their otherwise smooth-running plans, and Nancy suspected Bess's outlandish suggestions, including the infamous scene from Dirty Dancing, were at the main root of the problem. Ned had been absolutely horrified and it had taken Nancy almost a week to reassure him that she would be perfectly satisfied dancing a simple waltz.
"I can't believe we're married," Ned mused thoughtfully, as they gazed softly into one another's eyes. "I love you so much."
There was something different about Nancy, Ned thought as he laid a hand tenderly on her cheek. Seeing her coming down the aisle, he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her; she had looked so beautiful. But it wasn't the dress, or the veil; it was the fact she had finally given herself over to him. Nancy had always been such an independent person and he supposed that subconsciously he never truly believed he'd get a commitment from her. But she had, and now she was beside him as his wife.
"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," he murmured lovingly, Nancy shivering in delight as Ned pressed a kiss to her neck. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"
"Only a couple of times," Nancy laughed, the music, the people around them disintegrating into nothingness as they danced slowly together.
"Now I think it's time I brought my wife upstairs, don't you?" Ned whispered longingly, Nancy giggling as he swept her into his arms.
Wife, the word echoed strangely in Nancy's ear. She was Ned's wife. The word had connotations of being older, more settled, but Nancy felt none of these things, just a sudden knowledge that this was right, this was perfect, and that she would never again be as happy as the way she felt just then, loved and contented in Ned's arms.
Author:glasheen25
Pairing/Characters:Nancy/Ned, Nancy/Frank
Series:post-files
Word Count:1789
Rating:R
Summary:In the first instance Ned misses his flight, missing Nancy's birthday in the process. In the second instance Ned makes his flight, arriving on time. How a seemingly inconsequential event could lead Nancy's life in two completely different directions.
Spoilers:None
Warnings:None
Sitting in the hair salon, Nancy may as well have been sitting in the executioner’s chair, the way she stared dully into the mirror. She hated how the hairdresser smiled at her with an overly bright expression, desperate in her attempts to extract some excited chatter about her wedding plans, her disappointment almost palpable when she received none in return. She was probably more accustomed to glowing brides-to-be bubbling with excitement about their special day than this sullen mess answering in monosyllabic answers. Nancy needed to get out of here fast. The air was too hot and too dry and the motion of the other hairdressers, quick flashes of black and blonde rushing around the crowded salon, was making her feel sick.
Fidgeting anxiously with her engagement ring, Nancy had a sudden, desperate yearning for caffeine. Her sole morning cup of coffee hadn't been nearly enough to prepare her for opening the door of her father's house to a wildly exuberant Bess. Hell, even George had mustered up enough excitement about the wedding to distract her from all thoughts of the dreaded bridesmaid's dress. Perfectly groomed hairdressers gathered around Nancy, sighing with envy at her ring and remarking on how lucky the weather was, the process leaving her feeling utterly inadequate. If these girls who didn't even know Nancy could display such enthusiasm, then why couldn't she?
What's wrong with me? she scolded herself, her sigh of exaggeration causing the red-faced hairdresser to look at her sharply.
"Am I pulling it a little tight?" she queried with sharp eyes, her fingers deftly pulling the red-blonde strands into rollers. "It's just, it won't set otherwise," she added by way of apology, tightly rolling another section of hair onto her head.
"Sorry, just thinking out loud." Nancy mumbled, red-faced, grabbing a magazine and flicking though it distractedly.
She wasn't sure how everything had happened so fast. When she had agreed to Ned's proposal, it had all seemed so far away and it had been easy to get excited about wedding plans, to get distracted by seating arrangements and dress fittings and color schemes, to forget that behind all this frivolity was the reality that this was it, this was forever. Her letter of acceptance into the FBI had arrived the other morning and Nancy hadn't even mentioned it to Ned, choosing instead to shred the evidence and discard it in the garbage can. This was not part of the plan. Ned's career was really taking off and Nancy had just been accepted on an internship into a prestigious law firm in Chicago. On the outside they appeared to have it all, the perfect house, the perfect life, but inside Nancy knew differently. Marriage was supposed to signal a new beginning, new opportunities, and Nancy knew she should be feeling excited, but instead all she felt was trapped.
It's just nerves, Nancy assured herself fearfully, willing herself to somehow get into bride-mode, with acceptable bride related concerns about flowers or dresses, and not these terrible, panicky doubts about marrying Ned.
"That's it, you're done," the hairdresser suddenly announced, examining her work with a critical eye, frantically spraying the loose knot of curls. "What do you think?"
"It's lovely," Nancy murmured distractedly, barely caring what her hair looked like, as long as she could get out of here, quickly.
"Everything will be fine, you know," the older woman assured Nancy with an intuitive wink, sensing the girl's nervousness. "My daughter was just like you, nervous as hell, worrying about God knows what," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "But in the end, things went perfectly and she even managed to have fun. So relax and enjoy it, that's what it's all about," she finished with a smile, sliding some extra pins into her hair as an afterthought.
Afraid of what she'd say if she dared open her mouth, Nancy merely smiled. If only her fears and doubts could be laid at something as trivial as a three-tier cake and some over-elaborate arrangements of flowers.
xxxxx
Flutes of champagne in hand, Nancy and George giggled excitedly as they sipped the bubbling liquid, much to Bess's consternation as she struggled to apply eyeliner to the unruly girls.
"Nancy, can't you stay still for one minute?" Bess scolded her friend as she wielded the makeup brush menacingly. "At the rate you're going, you'll be walking up the aisle with scary clown makeup. Now is that the look you really envisioned for your wedding day?" The expression on her face was so utterly serious that Nancy had to restrain herself from bursting into laughter.
"Come on Bess, it would be hilarious," George grinned, unable to resist the opportunity to poke fun at her cousin. "Can you imagine people's faces? Can you imagine Ned's face?"
"He probably wouldn't even notice," Nancy shot back jokingly, causing the pair to dissolve into fits of laughter.
It was a familiar scene; the girls were lounging around Nancy's room, Bess and George at each other's throats, the bed littered with all manner of tiny jars and bottles of makeup, but things were different now. The girls weren't teenagers anymore, and this wasn't some lazy Saturday evening spent gossiping and listening to the latest band; this was Nancy's wedding day, truly a signal of how much things had changed. In gleaming ivory, Nancy's dress hung regally from the bedroom door, the carefully chosen jewellery snaked in between childhood treasures and framed photographs. Their bouquets were tossed casually on the bed, tiny jewels sparking among the flowers.
"Is this much makeup really necessary?" George asked dubiously, pushing the vast collection of jars and brushes aside to make room on the bed. "Nancy's getting married, not appearing on Broadway."
"Yes, it is necessary," Bess shot back hotly, darting a look of exasperation at her cousin before applying Nancy's lipstick with exacting precision. "Honestly, I can only imagine what you'd do if I wasn't here."
"Have fun, get drunk," George shrugged, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she adjusted the pale blue flower tucked into her hair, her only concession to bridal fashion.
Whether alcohol related or not, Nancy's nerves had considerably eased and she now dismissed her earlier doubts and worries as ludicrous. She loved Ned, she was sure she did. He would make the perfect husband, and forgoing the FBI was only a small sacrifice to have to make when she considered the wonderful life they would have together.
"You look gorgeous," Bess bubbled excitedly, her annoyance at George put temporarily on hold with her excitement about the day ahead. "Are you ready to try on your dress?"
Something small still niggled at Nancy but she pushed it to the back of her head. "Sure," she smiled, taking a tentative step towards the dress and her future happiness with Ned.
xxxxx
Too early for even the most punctual of guests to be present, the church was unnaturally still and quiet, making Nancy feel almost like a mother creeping around her sleeping child. The light outside, dimmed by the stained glass windows, crept in glorious shades of blue, red and green, casting rainbow hues on the floors and walls. In stark contrast, the pale white of the flowers pinned neatly to the pews and spilling from the altar gave the church an almost ethereal glow. At the sudden creak of the door, Nancy spun around, smiling as she saw her father make his way towards her.
"Oh, honey, you look beautiful," Carson Drew declared proudly, pulling his daughter into a gentle hug, careful not to crush her dress. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," she lied none too convincingly, evading her father's searching gaze.
"Really?"
"Okay, you got me," she sighed in answer to her father's questioning gaze. "I am so incredibly nervous. I don't know how I'm going to make it up the aisle, much less manage to get married to Ned." And I can't stop thinking I'm making this incredible mistake, she couldn't help adding in the privacy of her head, but to her father she merely smiled. "This is normal, isn't it? I mean, everyone feels like this, don't they?"
"Of course they do. You'll be fine, Nancy," her father reassured her resolutely, his expression suddenly softening. "You know, I look at you now and I don't know where the years have gone. I can't believe my baby is getting married."
"I know," she replied, her tone more somber then her father's, but if he noticed, he didn't say anything.
"Where are the girls?" he asked after a thoughtful pause. "I thought Bess would be glued to your side."
"Oh, she is, believe me," Nancy reassured him with a laugh. "I can hardly breathe without her coming at me with a makeup brush. Thankfully George is engaged in some mascara standoff, so I've been granted a temporary reprieve. No doubt she'll be back in a minute so I need to enjoy the peace and quiet while I can."
"Sounds like Bess all right," her father laughed, suddenly stopping when he caught sight of his watch. "Honey, you'd better finish getting ready, people will be arriving soon. Now you don't want to keep Ned waiting, do you?"
"Not for longer than a half an hour anyway," she returned mischievously before returning to her father with a serious expression. "Dad, I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?"
"Do you love Ned?" he asked pointedly, gazing in concern at his daughter.
"Yes, but..." she sighed, unable to put her mixed-up thoughts into words. "Dad, what if it's not as simple as that?"
"If you love him, it is," he pointed out gently. "Nancy, you have to relax, you'll be fine. I promise you."
Bolstered by his words, Nancy smiled. Her father was right. It so common for a bride-to-be to experience nervousness, it was almost cliché. This was just a temporary glitch in an otherwise perfect relationship. In the morning all this would be over and they'd be fine; more then fine, they'd be perfect. Tomorrow, they'd wake up in each other's arms, ready to begin the next chapter in their lives.
"Thanks, Dad," Nancy smiled, suddenly feeling infinitely better. "Now I better find Bess and get her to help me with my veil because I'll never manage it on my own."
"You do that, Nan," her father smiled encouragingly, giving her a final hug. "I'll see you in a minute, okay?"
"Okay," she agreed, a smile brightening her face as she headed for the door, her dress trailing awkwardly behind her.
xxxxx
The somber tones of the priest pronounced them man and wife and then Ned's lips were soft on hers, his hands cupping her face, claiming her as his.
"We did it," he murmured softly, his eyes shining as he pulled her close for another kiss.
"I know," she smiled, moved by the emotion on his face, and at that moment Nancy was filled with a sudden reassurance that everything would be okay. Her hand enclosed tightly in his, Nancy and Ned walked up the aisle to a raucous cheer and what felt like a thousand flashing cameras, the moment captured forever on film. Pushing open the heavy wooden doors and walking out into the sunshine, Nancy could finally let herself believe that they would be happy.
xxxxx
The room was aglow with thousands of sparkling lights and the sweet scent of flowers was heavy in the air as the opening notes of a song tinkled from the piano. Their jackets shrugged off, men sat back in the chairs talking sports and politics, while the woman hung on the edge of the dance floor, dancing distractedly, their children running in and out of the tables, cutlery and napkins scattering in their wake.
"Dance with me," Ned requested softly, holding his hand out to hers and pulling her up softly beside him.
"Sure," Nancy replied with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I just hope you're ready for the lift. Don't you dare drop me in front of all these people or you'll face the full force of my wrath later."
"Good one, Drew," he retorted jokingly, his hand resting comfortingly on the small of her back as he guided her out onto the dance floor. "Although, I must admit I'm intrigued about that bit about later. What exactly did you have in mind?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" she murmured with a playful wink, their conversation brought to a sudden halt as they wandered onto the dance floor.
The first dance had proved to be a bit of a stumbling block in their otherwise smooth-running plans, and Nancy suspected Bess's outlandish suggestions, including the infamous scene from Dirty Dancing, were at the main root of the problem. Ned had been absolutely horrified and it had taken Nancy almost a week to reassure him that she would be perfectly satisfied dancing a simple waltz.
"I can't believe we're married," Ned mused thoughtfully, as they gazed softly into one another's eyes. "I love you so much."
There was something different about Nancy, Ned thought as he laid a hand tenderly on her cheek. Seeing her coming down the aisle, he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her; she had looked so beautiful. But it wasn't the dress, or the veil; it was the fact she had finally given herself over to him. Nancy had always been such an independent person and he supposed that subconsciously he never truly believed he'd get a commitment from her. But she had, and now she was beside him as his wife.
"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," he murmured lovingly, Nancy shivering in delight as Ned pressed a kiss to her neck. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?"
"Only a couple of times," Nancy laughed, the music, the people around them disintegrating into nothingness as they danced slowly together.
"Now I think it's time I brought my wife upstairs, don't you?" Ned whispered longingly, Nancy giggling as he swept her into his arms.
Wife, the word echoed strangely in Nancy's ear. She was Ned's wife. The word had connotations of being older, more settled, but Nancy felt none of these things, just a sudden knowledge that this was right, this was perfect, and that she would never again be as happy as the way she felt just then, loved and contented in Ned's arms.