Skip Beat: Kyouko/Shou [Asunder, part 2]
Sorry for the delay!
Title: Asunder, part 2
Author: namistai8
Character/Pairing/Group: Kyoko/Shou, with mentions of Kyoko/Ren
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: Based on chapter 46-95, when Kyoko makes the Japonet Scoop on. All told from Shou's POV, of course.
Asunder, part 1
And if I only could/ Make a deal with God / And get him to swap our places / Be running up that road / Be running up that hill
~Placebo
He waited, barely aware of the whisperings and the murmurs around him. If he wasn't so absorbed in his thoughts, he would think it ironic, maybe even, humiliatingly funny that he was waiting for her. But it was no laughing matter.
Honestly, the intensity of his feelings had taken him aback. He'd used her, manipulated her, abused her, lied to her, and dumped her, callously. With no regards to her feelings, her pride, her dreams. Anything. And he had felt nothing, except a mild satisfaction of breaking with the past, getting rid of another thing that tied him down, of breaking free. Or so he told himself.
And now, all this guilt and anger and shame. This burning sensation that lingered on his fingers. Long after the hard slap. Long after he got over that hot instant of blinding anger, in which he acted without thinking. Long after the moment of realization, before he could say anything, he ran away, afraid. He couldn't face her. And for the first time, he regretted something he had done to her. He never thought himself capable of violence toward a woman. Even if she deserved it, with her sharp tongue and even sharper words. But he shouldn't have let his control snap. Should have never broken down. Should have never shown how her words affected him. It was no longer his way. No one was supposed to touch him. And part of him had been enraged because she, of all people, saw through his facade, called him on his shit.
It hurt.
And now this. This oppressive feeling at his throat and the horrible certainty that he'd done something terribly wrong. That something had broken, and now he had to fix it.
Somehow.
***
She was unsurprised to see him, and at this point, so was he. It just seemed... scripted, natural, fated. He had expected anger, disbelief, sarcasm. He hadn't expected her to throw his gift at his face, a powerful blow to his ego. He'd waited for her, tried to make amends, and she was still as angry and spiteful as ever.
She didn't make things easy for him. Yes, he was there for atonement. He told her that, saw her gape in disbelief.
And once he spoke the word, everything else came flooding out. The feelings of fear and frustation that he had kept so closely locked away just seemed to rush out of him, a giant explosion of feeling. It was a relief, almost, to give up to it. Even when it made him angry to reveal how weak he felt, how he was afraid, how he let those creeps get to him.
He thought he kept it so well hidden, so that no one could tell. He knew he wanted someone to point it out to him. And no one would. So he buried it even deeper, wounding himself deeper, closing himself in the silence.
And her words had been salt on a wound, and blood gushed out again. And here he was, letting himself bleed... but somehow, in front of her, he felt relief. Like healing. He still couldn't look at her in eye, even though he saw empathy in her eyes.
He admitted how wrong he'd been to hit her, to take it out on her, and how it left a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't like that taste, didn't like the feeling of being responsible, didn't like the guilt.
Didn't like how he dropped everything to come see her.
***
He couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't smirking. It wasn't the polite or dreamy smile he sent to his fans. It wasn't the amused chuckle or the wolfish grin he would get when things were going his way. No, this was honest to god laughing, that started deep in your belly and forced its way into your chest and didn't stop until you were lightheaded, and your heart was so full it could burst. It's made of sunshine and light, and things so bright and full of sparkle that they fill you and you're lighter than a feather, lighter than light, so blindingly alive that it hurts.
It felt like it was white-washing away all his worries.
He couldn't remember when was the last time he laughed like this. A long time. Too long.
He hadn't laughed like this since he stopped seeing her.
***
He tells himself he's really doing nothing out of the ordinary. Really, how was he supposed to know how seriously fucked up that Beagle singer really was? And now he'd fixated on Kyouko, despite the fact that they're only childhood friends. Shou wouldn't even call themselves friends anymore. She hated him. He hated her. Sure, they knew each other, but they STILL hated each other.
And Kyouko was so clueless. She obviously had no idea how diseased this Beagle guy really was.
And it wasn't like he was just waiting around for her anyway. He was working on a song.
Really, nothing out of the ordinary.
***
He runs.
He runs as fast as he can, as fast as his heart can allow. His blood burns, and his lungs burns, and he's breathing too hard, but he keeps pushing on.
He runs after him. He runs after her. He know he has to get there. Now.
Because that asshole is going to do something bad to her. Really bad.
And it's all going to be his fault.
So he runs, without thinking because if he stops and thinks about it, he'll just get angrier, and more enraged, and more frightened and more certain that it was all his fault.
He calls out her name, but she doesn't answer and suddenly, he doesn't feel hot anymore. Just cold.
And it hurts so much more.
***
Shou will never know that his name was the first that Kyouko called out for help.
***
If Director Ogata hadn't been there, he would have punched that pervert in the face like he deserved.
He had let the meddling director and Kyouko think that he let that asshole go. Quietly. Peacefully. Without any possibility of gossip. So as to not stain her name.
But when he finally caught up with the bastard, Reino had almost no interest in him. He was more interested in her. And the shit he spouted about, 'if I make her hate me, she'll be thinking about me and I'll control her mind and heart' made Shou positively nauseous.
But it was the comment that she was far outside the reach of ordinary men, including him, that really made Shou see red.
Kyouko wasn't something anyone could just take away from him. She had always been his and would always be. And the idea that this freak could even think about it. Just the thought of someone else touching her skin, kissing her lips, taking his place was wrong. He wasn't just about to hand over his songs, his place in the music industry, his fame, anything of his to this weirdo.
Like hell he would let this poor excuse for a wanna be goth vampire take his place.
Reviews and comments welcome! Feed the bunnies!
Crossposted to skip_beat
Title: Asunder, part 2
Author: namistai8
Character/Pairing/Group: Kyoko/Shou, with mentions of Kyoko/Ren
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: Based on chapter 46-95, when Kyoko makes the Japonet Scoop on. All told from Shou's POV, of course.
Asunder, part 1
And if I only could/ Make a deal with God / And get him to swap our places / Be running up that road / Be running up that hill
~Placebo
He waited, barely aware of the whisperings and the murmurs around him. If he wasn't so absorbed in his thoughts, he would think it ironic, maybe even, humiliatingly funny that he was waiting for her. But it was no laughing matter.
Honestly, the intensity of his feelings had taken him aback. He'd used her, manipulated her, abused her, lied to her, and dumped her, callously. With no regards to her feelings, her pride, her dreams. Anything. And he had felt nothing, except a mild satisfaction of breaking with the past, getting rid of another thing that tied him down, of breaking free. Or so he told himself.
And now, all this guilt and anger and shame. This burning sensation that lingered on his fingers. Long after the hard slap. Long after he got over that hot instant of blinding anger, in which he acted without thinking. Long after the moment of realization, before he could say anything, he ran away, afraid. He couldn't face her. And for the first time, he regretted something he had done to her. He never thought himself capable of violence toward a woman. Even if she deserved it, with her sharp tongue and even sharper words. But he shouldn't have let his control snap. Should have never broken down. Should have never shown how her words affected him. It was no longer his way. No one was supposed to touch him. And part of him had been enraged because she, of all people, saw through his facade, called him on his shit.
It hurt.
And now this. This oppressive feeling at his throat and the horrible certainty that he'd done something terribly wrong. That something had broken, and now he had to fix it.
Somehow.
***
She was unsurprised to see him, and at this point, so was he. It just seemed... scripted, natural, fated. He had expected anger, disbelief, sarcasm. He hadn't expected her to throw his gift at his face, a powerful blow to his ego. He'd waited for her, tried to make amends, and she was still as angry and spiteful as ever.
She didn't make things easy for him. Yes, he was there for atonement. He told her that, saw her gape in disbelief.
And once he spoke the word, everything else came flooding out. The feelings of fear and frustation that he had kept so closely locked away just seemed to rush out of him, a giant explosion of feeling. It was a relief, almost, to give up to it. Even when it made him angry to reveal how weak he felt, how he was afraid, how he let those creeps get to him.
He thought he kept it so well hidden, so that no one could tell. He knew he wanted someone to point it out to him. And no one would. So he buried it even deeper, wounding himself deeper, closing himself in the silence.
And her words had been salt on a wound, and blood gushed out again. And here he was, letting himself bleed... but somehow, in front of her, he felt relief. Like healing. He still couldn't look at her in eye, even though he saw empathy in her eyes.
He admitted how wrong he'd been to hit her, to take it out on her, and how it left a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't like that taste, didn't like the feeling of being responsible, didn't like the guilt.
Didn't like how he dropped everything to come see her.
***
He couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't smirking. It wasn't the polite or dreamy smile he sent to his fans. It wasn't the amused chuckle or the wolfish grin he would get when things were going his way. No, this was honest to god laughing, that started deep in your belly and forced its way into your chest and didn't stop until you were lightheaded, and your heart was so full it could burst. It's made of sunshine and light, and things so bright and full of sparkle that they fill you and you're lighter than a feather, lighter than light, so blindingly alive that it hurts.
It felt like it was white-washing away all his worries.
He couldn't remember when was the last time he laughed like this. A long time. Too long.
He hadn't laughed like this since he stopped seeing her.
***
He tells himself he's really doing nothing out of the ordinary. Really, how was he supposed to know how seriously fucked up that Beagle singer really was? And now he'd fixated on Kyouko, despite the fact that they're only childhood friends. Shou wouldn't even call themselves friends anymore. She hated him. He hated her. Sure, they knew each other, but they STILL hated each other.
And Kyouko was so clueless. She obviously had no idea how diseased this Beagle guy really was.
And it wasn't like he was just waiting around for her anyway. He was working on a song.
Really, nothing out of the ordinary.
***
He runs.
He runs as fast as he can, as fast as his heart can allow. His blood burns, and his lungs burns, and he's breathing too hard, but he keeps pushing on.
He runs after him. He runs after her. He know he has to get there. Now.
Because that asshole is going to do something bad to her. Really bad.
And it's all going to be his fault.
So he runs, without thinking because if he stops and thinks about it, he'll just get angrier, and more enraged, and more frightened and more certain that it was all his fault.
He calls out her name, but she doesn't answer and suddenly, he doesn't feel hot anymore. Just cold.
And it hurts so much more.
***
Shou will never know that his name was the first that Kyouko called out for help.
***
If Director Ogata hadn't been there, he would have punched that pervert in the face like he deserved.
He had let the meddling director and Kyouko think that he let that asshole go. Quietly. Peacefully. Without any possibility of gossip. So as to not stain her name.
But when he finally caught up with the bastard, Reino had almost no interest in him. He was more interested in her. And the shit he spouted about, 'if I make her hate me, she'll be thinking about me and I'll control her mind and heart' made Shou positively nauseous.
But it was the comment that she was far outside the reach of ordinary men, including him, that really made Shou see red.
Kyouko wasn't something anyone could just take away from him. She had always been his and would always be. And the idea that this freak could even think about it. Just the thought of someone else touching her skin, kissing her lips, taking his place was wrong. He wasn't just about to hand over his songs, his place in the music industry, his fame, anything of his to this weirdo.
Like hell he would let this poor excuse for a wanna be goth vampire take his place.
Reviews and comments welcome! Feed the bunnies!
Crossposted to skip_beat