light years (1/2)
light years
nayeon/jinyoung/suzy/jb
pg, 18125 words
a/n: once upon a time while watching cardcaptor sakura i thought how cute would it be if there was a fic where nayeon has a crush on her brother's best friend. or, i accidentally wrote a near-20k shoujo. i'd like to thank lisa who trusted me when i said i'd finish writing this by the end of this year, hannah who is still excited for this even after 176 years, and yun who always supported me. this is unbeta-ed.
Nayeon comes home that evening with a plan to mop over the maths exam she just bombed that morning by conquering the couch and remote control the whole day, preferably with a tub of ice-cream in the other hand or any food equivalent to that. But her plan goes up in smokes when she finds her brother sitting at the very couch, holding the very remote control, and his best friend next to him.
She almost drops her backpack, only saved because it gets caught on her wrist. Jaebum takes no heed in that, unsurprisingly, and proceeds to ignore her arrival with his eyes glued to the television screen. Jinyoung, however, looks up and flashes a smile that causes heart palpitations. “Welcome back,” he says, voice like butter.
“Oh, h-hello,” she returns his greeting, voice like scorched rice. Why can’t she be a graceful lady for once? “What are you doing here?”
“Jaebum and I are doing our homework together, since it’s a pair work, so I’ll be here the whole evening. I hope you don’t mind?” he explains, raising his brows slightly at the final word. Is he expecting her to answer?
“Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind,” Jaebum interrupts, only tearing his eyes away from the screen to give her a smirk. She wants to throw her bag at him, or anything within reach. He then adds, “Hey, ugly, we’re hungry.”
On normal occasions, Nayeon would either ignore him, especially after his last remark and what he called her, or respond with a simple make your own food, but today she remains civilized and heads straight to the kitchen without even changing out of her uniform. “We have leftover dwenjang jjigae from last night’s dinner. Is it enough?” she asks as she looks for more things in the refrigerator.
“Yeah. Jinyoung doesn’t eat a lot. Fry some eggs and that will do.”
If she could have it her way, the eggs would already be making their way towards her brother’s face, but again she remains civilized. She thinks of happy thoughts like ddeokbeokki and the boy in her living room right now, and takes out the bowl and three eggs. There’s no rice in the cooker, but thank god they have several packets of instant rice stocked for emergencies. She chucks the jjigae into the microwave and presses several buttons before it starts revolving around, then she takes out a clean bowl from the cabinet, cracks the eggs and focuses her anger on beating them.
“Need help?”
Nayeon gets a series of heart attacks from how close the voice is, when she realizes how close the person which the voice belongs to is standing from her, and who the person is. Her hand is frozen and her anger, just like that, has disappeared. She drops her mouth. “What?”
Jinyoung, completely unaware of the war going on inside her right now, only smiles wider and repeats his question. “I’m just wondering if you need help with anything?”
“Ah, yeah, I mean no. I don’t need anything, no. Wait, I mean-” She doesn’t know what she’s saying, and he’s blinking at her, probably thinking how silly she is. She hangs her head low and wishes the earth would open up and swallow her right there and then. She shouldn’t be allowed to open her mouth ever, especially in front of Jinyoung who is now laughing at her, looking so amused. This is not what she planned.
Right then, her brother once again interrupts, yelling from where he’s still sitting unmoved. “Jinyoung, if you keep bothering her, her food will go from just bearable to inedible.”
Maybe she should throw some eggs at Jaebum after all. She’s deciding between that and suffocating him to death when he sleeps tonight when Jinyoung says her name as he walks over to the microwave to take out the jjigae. “Smells good,” he comments.
“Mum made it,” Nayeon confesses. Last night she was too busy crying over math to come out of her room to help prepare dinner. Not that she helps that much anyway, but Jinyoung doesn’t have to know such details.
She manages to get him to leave the kitchen with an excuse that she’s not used to having anyone around, but really she just needs to focus, afraid that her egg rolls will end up as scrambled eggs instead. Thankfully, her attempt ends in success and the egg rolls turn out almost as pretty as she hoped (the sides are a tad burnt, she hopes Jaebum wouldn’t point that out even though she’s sure he would).
Blessed with the sense of smell better than that of a dog, the said person appears right away at the dining table just as she’s set the rice bowls. “My little sister has grown up well,” he offers with a pat on the top of her head, and she tries her best not to roll her eyes or slap his hand away because Jinyoung has approached them too. “Come sit. Don’t worry, her cooking may not be the best in the world but at least she wouldn’t dare to poison us.” Jaebum tells him, then glances back at her and quirks an eyebrow.
Nayeon looks at her almost-perfect egg rolls and imagines them on his face. Thank Jinyoung for flashing her a smile - her anger disappears faster than a blink of eye. “Thank you. I’ll eat well, Nayeonie,” he says. Honestly what did his brother do in his past life to be able to befriend someone like Jinyoung?
“I mean,” she begins, face contorted a little too dramatically as she tries to justify her case. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“What?” Seungcheol asks, only half-interested as he has most of his attention focused on his game. It’s a free period, supposed to be the Korean Language class but their teacher is out for an emergency leave. The word “self-study” is emblazoned on the blackboard in front but almost everyone, including them, is doing anything but studying.
“Have you even been listening?” Nayeon shoots back, annoyed, but quickly resumes her talk. “That someone like my satan of a brother could befriend such an angel is what doesn’t make sense.”
“Oh, like the fact we’re friends? I guess you two are truly siblings.”
She gives him a good smack on the head that almost caused him to lose grip of his phone. He finally pauses his game and looks up with a scowl. “Watch it!” he grunts.
“Reminds me again why I’m friends with you?”
He pretends to give it a deep thought. “Well, because no one else wants to listen to you obsessing over your brother’s best friend?”
“I don’t obsess over him!” she rebukes defensively.
“Yeah? Tell me again about how you purposely leave the house early every morning then wait at the corner near his house and pretend to run into him by chance when he gets out just so you can walk to school together?” he recounts, looking almost pleased with himself. “Such dedication. If you were as dedicated in your studies, I think even Einstein would bow down to you.”
Nayeon picks up a book and threatens to throw it at him, but he appears far from being apologetic, she instead kicks his leg under the leg. “You’re talking as if you’re the smartest in this class.”
“At least I didn’t purposely fail my English test so I could spend the summer having Park Jinyoung tutor me.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose, okay! And besides it was worth it,” she grins at the last sentence.
Going back to his game, Seungcheol makes a face and mumbles under his breath, “Obsessed.”
“Not going for lunch?” Jinyoung questions,glancing back, when he realizes his friend isn’t coming with him.
Jaebum shakes his head. “Nah, Suji’s bringing lunch she made,” he replies half-nonchalantly without even meeting Jinyoung’s gaze.
“Oh” is the only response the latter can manage. Jaebum is too immersed in writing the essay that needs to be submitted later to notice the way Jinyoung’s shoulders drop. “I’ll be going then,” he manages after a pause, then turns on his heel only to see Suji from a distance walking towards him.
“Hi Jinyoung,” greets her with a candy smile.
“Hello,” he replies, but thinking that might have sounded a little too stiff, he adds, “Having lunch with Jaebum?”
“Yeah. Why don’t you join us? I’m pretty sure it’s enough for the three of us.”
As much as he would love to spend time with her, Jinyoung turns down her offer. “It’s alright. I heard there’s tonkatsu for lunch today,” he lies. The school cafeteria never served tonkatsu before.
Fortunately for him, Suji buys his lie. “Well, if you say so.” She shrugs, perhaps looking slightly dejected, but he doesn’t keep his hopes high. “See you around, then, Jinyoung.”
He nods and attempts a smile. It still feels too stiff, but she’s already turned away.
Nayeon is standing on tiptoe behind a throng of students who are flocking around the bread stall when she feels a tap on her shoulder. She glances back, and her eyes widen when she learns it’s Jinyoung.
“Is that going to be your lunch?” he asks, pointing at the direction of the breads in their respective trays.
“Yeah.” She nods, omitting the fact that she’s not getting just one, or even two of them. She’s also getting several for Seungcheol whom she lost rock-paper-scissor with earlier. “Why?”
“Nothing.” Jinyoung shakes his head, smiling a little. “I’m actually looking for a friend to eat lunch with. Don’t feel like eating alone,” he confesses after a pause. “Do you want to be that friend?”
Her brows form a line, puzzled. “Where’s Jaebum oppa?”
“With Suji,” he answers simply. It seems that he tries to be nonchalant about it, but Nayeon knows him enough.
Her heart sinks. “I’ll eat with you,” she tells him.
“Really?”
“Sure,” she returns, smiling. On normal occasions, she would have already celebrated this and steal quick texts to Seungcheol to brag, having lunch with Jinyoung oppa, to hell with your breads. But she’s not even thinking of any of that. The only thing that is occupying her mind right now is the distant look on Jinyoung’s face as they stand in line to get their meals, as though he’s only physically here but not mentally.
She knows where his mind is.
“Let me help you with that.”
Before Jinyoung can turn around, there’s already a pair of hands reaching out to take half the stack of books he’s carrying from him. “You don’t have to,” he murmurs.
“It’s alright. I’m heading to the teachers’ room too.” Suji flashes a smile that’s too friendly and too familiar as they start to walk together. He looks away. “Why isn’t Jaebum helping you?”
“He ran off as soon as the bell rang. Said he needs to bully the first years into shape.” Jinyoung attempts a nonchalant shrug.
She chuckles. “He needs to stop abusing his power.”
“Good thing I’m not in his team.”
“He would’ve cut you some slack.”
“Don’t think so. Jongin complains about him everyday. Behind his back of course,” he adds the last part after a brief pause, and Suji chuckles again. “He said he even gets nightmares about Jaebum sometimes.”
Suji starts laughing. It feels nice, walking with her alone and hearing her laugh. It’s not something he’s not used to, but he realizes it’s been a while since the last time they were together like this. Without Jaebum. He steals a quick look at her and suddenly something inside him aches. “But Jongin’s different. You’re not him,” she then says.
Their eyes meet. Hers seem playful, with her smile intact. Jinyoung lets out a light chuckle, not too dry, and nudges her on the shoulder with his own. “Don’t turn this into some slice-of-life youth drama.”
They arrive at the teachers’ room, and Suji returns the books to him before going off to talk to her homeroom teacher. Mrs Ahn thanks them both then tells him he can leave now. He bows and takes his leave, but lingers outside the door making up excuses in his head. Before he can decide on one, however, Suji steps out and grins at him as though she knows all along he would be waiting. “Let’s go home.”
“Good morning!”
When he turns around, he is greeted by the sunny bunny-teethed grin he’s grown used to seeing almost every morning. “Morning, Nayeonie.” Jinyoung smiles back. “So bright even this early, as always. Are you ever not in a good mood?”
“Hmm,” she pretends to ponder over his question. “When Jaebum oppa bullies me?”
Her reply makes Jinyoung chuckle, and in return his laugh makes her smile wider. Nayeon forces herself awake and drags herself out of bed so early every morning, but seeing Jinyoung’s smile and knowing she’s the reason for it is definitely worth every effort.
“Ah, you two make me jealous sometimes. I wish I have a sibling too,” he remarks, facing ahead.
“If you had a younger sister, would you bully her like how my brother does me?” she asks.
“Well, maybe?” he answers, shrugging, and she laughs because she knows it’s a lie. Jinyoung has the kindest soul, and she doubts she will ever meet anyone nicer than him. "But really, Jaebum talks a lot about you. You talk a lot about him too. It makes me think it must be nice to have someone around, even if all you do everyday is bicker. My house is too quiet.”
Nayeon makes a disgusted face and shakes her head. “Having a brother like Jaebum oppa, you have no idea how much I want to be an only child.”
“The grass is always greener on the other side,” he comments, chuckling again.
She was starting to feel silly for whining about her brother to him like a child, but when his smile reappears, she’s instantly happy again. “So what did you do yesterday after you went home?”
He starts to talk about his homework and a documentary on Cambodian ruins that he watched last night, none that she has interest in, but she listens to him more enthusiastically than she does her favourite songs.
Nayeon is almost dozing off when someone taps her on the shoulder. “Oh, Jisoo. What is it?” she asks her class representative, who also sits in front her, while rubbing her eyes.
“There’s someone looking for you,” he says, pointing at the door.
She glances at that direction, and to her surprise, finds Suji there. Her eyes widen and she immediately leaps to her feet.
“Is something wrong?” she asks, confused and also worried.
But Suji just smiles and slips something into her hand; a 10000 won note. Nayeon stares at the older girl in confusion. “It’s your lunch money. Jaebum said you forgot it this morning so he asked me to pass it to you,” Suji explains.
“Ah, thank you, really. He could’ve come himself instead of making you do it. Should’ve,” Nayeon replies, feeling bad.
“Apparently it’s uncool to go find your sister at school because of something she carelessly left behind.” Suji laughs as she says that, while Nayeon can’t help rolling her eyes.
“He’s not even cool to begin with.”
“Totally not.”
They laugh together for a while, and soon the first bell rings. The latecomers are just starting their last minute sprint to their respective class now, including Seungcheol who’s just arrived with his mouth full, and his shoes bag in one hand. He eyes the two of them suspiciously as he passes them.
“Well I’d better run now,” Suji tells her, and without another word she dashes off.
Nayeon returns to her seat, and right behind it Seungcheol is smirking at her. His breakfast has been digested just fine. She rolls her eyes for the second time this morning. “You guys look friendly,” he comments.
“We have no reason to be enemies.” She shrugs, not meeting his eyes.
“She doesn’t, but you do.”
This time she does meet his eyes, just so she can smack him with her book. “Shut up.” She glares, but that doesn’t stop him from laughing. “She’s… cool.”
“I see,” he says, narrowing his eyes at her.
“Really,” she mumbles in return, staring down at her book.
He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but then their homeroom teacher walks in, so Nayeon turns back to face the front, and Seungcheol never brings it up again.
“Practice?” Jinyoung asks as Jaebum gathers his books and stationeries before shoving all of them into his bag.
“Yeah. We got a game coming up soon. You wanna come watch?”
“The practice?” The latter raises his brows.
Jaebum chuckles, giving his friend a light smack on the head with one of the pencils he’s still holding. “The game, you blockhead. It’s in Anyang, next weekend, so we can go get go something to eat afterwards. You can come with us by bus. I’ll let the coach know and save you a seat.”
Frowning, Jinyoung shoots a judging look. “Why does it sound like you’re asking me out on a date?”
“You can just say no if you don’t want. I can handle rejection, you know,” Jaebum shoots back. He feigns annoyance, but the corners of his lips are twitching.
Jinyoung smiles, and keeps silent for a minute before asking, “Is Suji coming?”
“I didn’t ask her, but I don’t think she’s gonna come even if I ask. Why?”
He doesn’t know why he asked either. As supportive as Suji is, she doesn’t actually come to all of Jaebum’s games even if it’s a home game, unless she has free time and is up for it. In the end he settles with: “So I know I’m not your second option.”
“Since when did you become so petty?”
Jinyoung starts laughing and gets to his feet. Just in time, Suji appears at the back door. “What are you guys laughing at?” she asks. She comes in when she sees that most of their classmates have left.
It’s Jaebum who replies. “Just talking about you.”
“Me? About what?”
“The fact that you talk in your sleep,” Jinyoung answers without meaning too, but Jaebum flashes an approving grin.
“Liar! That’s not a fact. We’ve never slept together. Wait, I don’t mean-” Her pupils enlarged as she glances at Jaebum, flustered. A tinge of pink colours her cheeks.
“It’s hard to not misunderstand but I understand.” He nods with closed eyes.
“Thank you,” she smiles, laughing a little, then turns to Jinyoung all serious again. “Anyway, it never happened.”
“Yes it did. Autumn when we were 11 when you fell asleep in my room preparing for my birthday surprise while I was out with my parents.”
She clicks her tongue, looking like she wants to protest but knows he’s right. Suji hates to be proven wrong, so she brings up other things, like at least I did something, unlike you. Crossing his arms, Jinyoung opens his mouth to say something, but he remembers Jaebum is here and that he wasn’t there in their childhood. He closes his mouth.
“You guys are making me jealous,” Jaebum says wistfully, shoving Jinyoung on the arm but his eyes are on her. There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, a trace of longingness in his gaze.
Jinyoung only smiles, yet as they begin to make their way out of the class, then go separate ways while Jaebum heads to the gymnasium, a thought continues to circle around his mind, who’s the one should be jealous really?
After dinner, Nayeon and Jaebum sit at both ends of the couch watching TV, while their mother is preparing another side dish for their father who hasn’t come home from work. Out of the corner of her eyes, Nayeon can see that her brother’s attention isn’t on TV, despite fighting with her earlier for the remote, but instead on his phone. His fingers make quick movements as he replies incoming texts. There’s a smile tugging at his lips. Suji.
“Oppa,” she calls. He gives no response even when she tries again, so she uses her left toe to poke at him.
It works, and he casts an irritated glare. “What?”
She suddenly hesitates. “Why…”
“Why what?” He grows impatient.
“Why- what do you like about her?” she blurts out.
“Who?”
She eyes him cautiously before answering. “Suji unni.”
He shoots an incredulous look at her like she has just asked him the oddest question he’s ever heard. But then he faces front again, back straightened, that look disappears and he’s all serious. “What’s there not to like?”
Nayeon just stares at him, her brother who shows no affection and only cracks a smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle when he’s pulling a joke on her; a stranger to her now. Her gaze falls to her lap. “Would you still like her if back then you found out that someone say else likes her too?”
“That depends.”
“What if it was a friend?” She decides to push her luck. “What if it was Jinyoung oppa?”
As though he’s just realized that he’s having this conversation with her, he snorts and relaxes back into the couch. “Why are you asking all these funny questions? Go do your homework” he replies instead.
She glances at the TV, then back at him. His eyes are on it now, but the program is already over.
On his way back, Jinyoung finds Nayeon crouched down by the wall just outside the convenience store near their school. He enters the store without her noticing, buys a strawberry milk and a can of coffee, then goes back outside and heads to where she is.
“Here,” he says, holding out the strawberry milk to her. She’s clearly startled to see him. With a rather restrained smile, she takes the milk and thanks him. “Something wrong?” he asks, taking a seat next to her while opening his can.
It’s already over an hour since school ended. He stayed back to do some tasks for his homeroom teacher. From what he knows and heard from Jaebum, Nayeon usually goes straight home, unless she wants to hang out with her friends. Running into her here alone at this time is rare.
Pushing the straw to penetrate the thin metal lid, she takes a long drag, slowly and quietly, so unlike her usual self. She seems hesitant to answer him, so he doesn’t push, and just wait while he takes small sips of his coffee. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he tells her.
She takes another glance at him, and exhales a sigh. “I got the result for my maths exam today,” she begins meekly, hiding her face behind her hair. “It’s not good.”
Ah. He nods. “That bad?”
“Not really, but just not what what I hoped,” she answers.
Another sip. “Why don’t you ask Jaebum to help teach you? He’s good at maths.”
“I know, but he will laugh at me first then wouldn’t stop talking about it for the rest of my life.”
Jinyoung laughs lightly. “He would do that,” he agrees. “Then do you want me to teach you?”
She turns to him, eyes widening in surprise. “But you already helped me with English before,” she says.
“So?”
“I mean, that would inconvenience you.”
“Why would that inconvenience me? I won’t need to revise for my exam later.”
She looks at him like she’s having a hard time believing him. He flashes a smile to reassure her. “Really?”
“Really.” He nods.
A smile finally appears on her face, instantly revealing her bunny teeth that she used to hate. He remembers she used to smile a tight lipped smile at everyone back then just to hide her teeth. “I’ll be nice to you for the rest of my life,” she tells him.
He laughs again. “That’s alright. Just make me those nice croquettes you made once the next time I come over.”
Creases form in her forehead. “Jaebum oppa said they were horrible.”
“He was just being mean.”
She smiles again. They finish their drinks in silence, then he walks her home.
Without warning, he feels a hand pulling his earphones out. Jinyoung immediately turns around, only to find Jaebum grinning at him with two fingers up in salute. “Yo!” the latter greets.
“Can’t you at least knock?” Jinyoung asks as his friend drops his bag to the floor and plops down on the bed a little too comfortably.
“I did, you deaf,” Jaebum replies, holding up the earphones to remind him.
“I should tell my mum to stop opening our door to you.”
“Go ahead. I know where you keep your spare key.”
Jinyoung snorts. Jaebum is still wearing his school uniform, unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, which means he came straight from practice. The former yanks his pillow away, causing him to protest. “Did you even shower?”
“Nope,” he answers too casually.
Jinyoung uses the same pillow to smack him on the face, but this time Jaebum laughs instead of protesting. “Why are you here?” he asks, turning back to his books on his study desk.
“Can’t I drop by to see my dear friend’s face?” He glances back with a terrorised face while Jaebum continues laughing for a moment. It fades soon after, and they’re left in silence. “Is that you and Suji?”
Jinyoung didn’t remember he’s temporarily stuck that photo on his wall until Jaebum points it out. He panics a little. It is simply there because he just came across it recently and hasn’t figured out where to keep it safe. It’s one of the very few photos of him with Suji they actually have taken over the years they’ve known each other. “I found it while cleaning my drawers the other day,” he admits.
“How old were you guys here?”
He looks at the photo. They were sitting next to each other on rocks by a beach, Suji was wearing a swimsuit, while he just wore a simple t-shirt and shorts. They used to go to the beach almost every summer, but he remembered that year in particular was when she was starting to feel strange about her changing body. They never went to the beach again after that. “10-ish… 11 I think? I forgot.”
Jaebum keeps his stare on the photo without another word, but Jinyoung can see the longing in his eyes. He only came along much later just before they started high school, when he and Jinyoung first became classmates in their previous school. He met Suji when she came by to borrow a book from Jinyoung, who wasn’t in the class at that time. Jaebum, who sat by the back door, let her borrow his instead.
There are days when Jinyoung would sit and wonder what would have happened if he had been in the class, or if Jaebum’s seat hadn’t been by the door. Of course Jaebum and Suji’s paths would have crossed anyway on another occasion, but would the outcome still be the same?
Jaebum only tears his gaze away after a long while. Looking at Jinyoung, he opens his mouth again. “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been tutoring Nayeon?”
“You didn’t know?” Jinyoung asks, raising his brows, a little surprised that Jaebum’s hasn’t heard about it since it has been going on for a couple of weeks. “I assumed she would tell you.”
“Nah. Heard it from Suji.”
“Oh,” comes as his response, remembering the other day when Suji saw them at the library after school. “Why? Do you have a problem about that?”
“No,” Jaebum replies brusquely, which doesn’t sound very convincing. Jinyoung looks at him. “Well, if it’s not obvious enough, Nayeon has a thing for you.”
Jaebum is now sitting up. Their eyes meet briefly, then Jinyoung lowers his gaze as he nods. “Yeah, I kind of knew.”
“I mean, it’s not that it’s not okay. It’s cool. But then again she’s still my sister and you’re my friend,” Jaebum says. “Just that, I know you mean well, but if you don’t like her that way, then don’t lead her on. I just… don’t want to be in a position where I have to choose sides.”
Three years Jinyoung’s known Jaebum, and he rarely gets serious. Jinyoung isn’t really sure what exactly he’s supposed to do, or what he’s expected to do. He resorts to make the atmosphere lighter. From where he sits, he kicks Jaebum’s foot. “Did you come all the way to give this some sort of a stay-away-from-my-sister warning like in dramas?”
Jaebum’s eyes meet his, and the pillow flies and hits Jinyoung square in the face.
“You’re smiling to yourself,” Seungcheol comments.
He and Nayeon are working on their maths homework together. It was given out yesterday and is supposed to be completed by today, but she totally forgot about it while Seungcheol passed out early last night after an intense basketball practice session. There’s still some time left before the first bell, so they’re trying their best to get this done quickly.
“What?” Nayeon asks dumbly.
He uses his pencil to point at their books and then her face. “We’re doing maths and you’re not crying. In fact you’re actually smiling. Is the world ending?”
She laughs, which startles him more because he was preparing to defend his shins from her kick. “You know, doing maths is actually fun now that I know how to solve these problems,” she tells him.
“Amazing. What spell is Jinyoung using on you? You hated maths. You once made a wish on your birthday for maths to disappear from the world.”
This time she does kick his shin, and he didn’t get to evade fast enough. “Don’t spread lies. I never hated maths or wished for such thing.”
She does mean it that she’s started to enjoy the subject more after Jinyoung has cleared up what she never understood before. Even now, doing her homework with Seungcheol, she can solve every question without much trouble by recalling the methods she’s been taught.
“Do you really like it that much?” he asks now, voice no longer laced with tease.
“What? Maths?”
“Getting to spend time with him.”
“Ah.” Nayeon stops writing and casts a glance out the window. From their seats, they can see the wide field. It makes her happy whenever she gets to catch a glimpse of Jinyoung when the boys in his class play there during PE. She smiles. “I can’t even put it in words.”
Seungcheol chuckles, then resumes his work. “Good for you.”
“Nayeon!”
She glances around and scans the cafeteria to find the person who called her, and soon spots Suji at a table not too far away waving her hand. Sitting with her at the same table are Jaebum and Jinyoung. Oh.
“Come sit with us!” she offers when Nayeon approaches with her lunch tray.
“But-”
Before Nayeon can say anything more, Suji has already risen to her feet to drag her to the empty seat across of her and take her tray and set it down on the table. “Why did you call this ugly thing here? Let her go sit with her friends,” Jaebum says, giving a look of protest as he chews his rice.
“You just don’t want her here because it might put you at disadvantage,” Suji retaliates with a grin, and he just makes a face at her. “And stop calling her ugly! Nayeonie is the prettiest girl I know, okay.”
“I’m already at disadvantage here.”
Nayeon stares at them for a while in confusion before turning to Jinyoung who is sitting next to her. He flashes his usual friendly smile. Her cheeks turn a deeper shade of red. “Just one of their banters. It’s normal,” he explains briefly.
“Okay,” Suji then says, turning to her. “Would you side with your brother or with me?”
Nayeon is really still clueless about the situation, but after a glance at Jaebum, she settles with: “Anyone but him.”
Suji laughs and raises a hand to initiate a high five, and Nayeon grants it, beaming. She turns to Jinyoung afterwards. “You? Me or this idiotic friend of yours?”
“Friendly reminder, you happen to be dating this idiotic friend of his,” Jaebum intercepts, but Suji just shoves him away.
“I…” Jinyoung begins, darting his eyes back and forth from his friend to the other. “Leave me out of this,” he announces diplomatically, but the two responds with a string of protests.
Nayeon watches this whole process before glancing sideways at Jinyoung. He has his gaze fixed on his half eaten bowl of rice, a restrained half smile on his face. In front of them, Suji and Jaebum continue their banter laughing, their surrounding blurred away. Her heart clenches.
Just before she exits the cafeteria, Suji comes and starts walking with her, sliding her hand comfortably around Nayeon’s arm.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asks.
Startled by her question, Nayeon shakes her head instantly. “Of course not.”
“You’re just like your brother in this sense,” Suji remarks, chuckling. “You both are such bad liars.”
“Oppa lies to you?”
“Sometimes. Not the bad kinds though, like when he goes off to play games with the other boys. He’d tell me he has practice or homework,” she explains, laughing as she’s remembering it. “It’s funny because he actually sounds pretty convincing, like he’s practised it before. I wouldn’t be able to tell if I didn’t know how his voice tends to sound slightly nasal-ish when he lies.”
Nayeon laughs along. “I’m embarrassed to have him as my brother.”
“Boys are stupid, really. And they think they can fool us,” Suji says. They walk up the stairs that lead up to Nayeon’s class. Suji’s class is located at the opposite building. “Jinyoungie’s really dense, too, don’t you think?”
Nayeon doesn’t miss the affectionate suffix, but keeps her smile. “What do you mean?”
“How can he still not notice it when you look at him like that?”
It catches her by surprise. She stops at her tracks and blinks at Suji. “You know?”
“Of course I do.” The older girl smiles. “I’ve known Jinyoung for a long time. Somehow I’m always the first who notices when a girl likes him, but he never does. I really don’t know what goes on in his head sometimes.”
I do, Nayeon thinks.
“Don’t worry. This unni will support and help you. If you need anything, his most embarrassing childhood stories, even materials to blackmail him with, you can come to me anytime.”
She only smiles, unable to say anything else. Suji is beautiful inside and out. Standing next to her, Nayeon can’t help but feel extremely small. It’s no question why she’s liked by both boys. She can’t even compare.
"Are you okay?” Seungcheol asks when he finds Nayeon still standing outside the class later even after the bell has rung.
“No.” She shakes her head. Tears escape from her eyes before she can stop them. She looks at her friend who is now staring at her with a look of concern. “I don’t think I’m okay, Seungcheol.”
“‘sup,” comes a voice along with a sling of arm around his shoulders, and he knows before he even glances to his side that it’s Jaebum.
“Morning,” he murmurs in reply, then checks his watch. “You’re early.”
“Yeah. I beat Nayeon out today,” Jaebum answers with a proud grin. There’s a basketball tucked under his other arm.
Jinyoung adjusts the strap of his back on his left shoulder, Jaebum’s arm remains unmoved as they walk together. His cardigan sleeve peeks out underneath his school issued jacket. “Speaking of Nayeon, is she okay? I actually haven’t seen her around lately.”
“Thought you guys see each other after school?”
Jinyoung shakes his head. “We haven’t met up since last week? I don’t know why but she’s been cancelling without really giving any reason. I thought she’s just busy, but then - you know how sometimes we run into each other around this time, right? - she stopped showing up as well.”
“Now that you mention it, she didn’t really look all that energetic this morning as well. I thought it’s just one of her days,” Jaebum recalls, tilting his head aside.
“She didn’t say anything to you?” Jinyoung asks.
Jaebum scoffs. “Nayeon doesn’t tell me shit. Don’t you know us well enough?”
“Maybe you should ask?” Jinyoung tells him. “I wonder if I did or said something.”
Jaebum retracts his arm and starts dribbling his ball. “Maybe you shouldn’t worry too much,” he murmurs back, shrugging. “By the way, hear this. Yesterday at practice, I don’t know what got into him but suddenly Jongin’s all hyped up to attempt shooting from midcourt.”
Smiling, Jinyoung listens to his friend’s story, but every now and then he keeps glancing back, wondering if that bright bunny smile that he’s grown accustomed to seeing almost every morning will appear.
The final bell goes off, and once their homeroom teacher leaves the class, everyone starts packing their things and Nayeon is sitting hunched down on her table when she feels someone kicking her chair.
“Yo, Im Nayeon,” Seungcheol calls. She doesn’t glance back, so he kicks her chair again until she does.
“What?” she hisses, glaring at him irritatedly while he only grins.
“You’re skipping again today?” he asks.
Instead of replying right away, she exhales a despondent sigh. “I think I stepped on kitten in my past life, or dropped a newborn. Or maybe I betrayed the nation. Is that enough sin to deserve this sad fate?”
He resists a temptation to roll his eyes for the sake of his friend. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
“Do you think I will be unhappy for the rest of my life? Use my spare time to feed pigeons at the park, then grow old as a cat lady as I watch my brother who spends this lifetime torturing me live his life happily? Do you think he will be punished in his next life in return? Will I be happy in my next life?” she goes on.
This time, it’s Seungcheol who sighs. “Okay, first of all, you need to stop being a drama queen,” he starts. “Second of all, I never I’d say this ever but at this point I’d rather see your dumb lovestruck face as you babble on nonstop about Jinyoung.”
She frowns at him. “I’m not sure if I should be touched.”
“I don’t even understand why you’re so heartbroken in the first place. It’s not you didn’t know that he likes your brother’s girlfriend.”
“Don’t say that out loud!” she hisses, slapping his arm, then resumes her forlorn face. “I know that, but all this while I pretended not to know and hoped over time it would fade. But that doesn’t seem to be happening. And what’s worse is I can’t even bring myself to hate Suji unni. Not when she’s that nice to me.”
Nayeon can feel her friend’s eyes on her as she exhales another sigh. She knows what he said is right, and that she’s being a little overdramatic. It’s not like this is a new knowledge to her. But the more time she spends with Jinyoung, the more apparent the gap between them is to her. Even when he’s right in front of her, it feels like they are a million light years apart.
Seungcheol sighs as well and gives her shoulder a pat. “Should I buy you an ice-cream? Or is ddeokbokki more your thing? Please notice that that means I’m skipping today’s practice which equals to risking getting murdered by your brother when I see him tomorrow. Does that knowledge at least cheer you up?”
She raises her eyes at him and manages a small smile. “That knowledge does make me feel better, but I think my life would be a little boring without you, so if my brother ever threatens to murder you, he needs to face me first. Though I’m not sure if he would think twice about it.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughs. “That’s the Im Nayeon I know.”
Jinyoung is halfway through cleaning the blackboard when he notices Suji standing by the door, one leg crossed over the other as she leans sideways on the frame. “Hello there.” She waves with a smile gracing her lips.
“You just missed Jaebum,” is his response, alternating between resuming his duty and glancing at him.
“I came to see my best friend,” she retorts, scowling a little. She enters his classroom and takes a seat at one of the desks in the front row which belongs to Wonpil. “Have you seen my best friend around? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“He told me he went on a break because his best friend gave him headaches,” he answers. The corners of his lips curl while she scoffs. “Any message for him?’
“Tell him that he’s going to get it when he returns for going on a break alone. And that his best friend misses him a lot.”
Jinyoung’s hand freezes for a moment, but he quickly finishes his task and sets the duster down before turning to face her while standing behind the teacher’s desk. “Something wrong?”
She frowns. “Must something be wrong for you to spend time with me?”
“I’m going on another break.”
“Don’t be so sensitive!” Suji protests, and he laughs, eyes all crinkled. Her smile returns instantly. “Honestly, I feel like I haven’t heard your laugh since forever.” She leans forward, elbow perched on the desk and chin cupped in her palm. “Did Jaebum tell you not to hang out with me? I know he can be so childish but is he really that petty? I’m going to add salt into his energy drink.”
“He didn’t. Don’t victimize an innocent citizen,” he says, chuckling at her suggestion.
“Then? Were you mad at me about something? Why you always refused to eat my packed lunch?”
“That’s because your cooking is barely edible.”
“I cook alright, okay. Is it because of that burned sweet potato incident? Oh my god, Park Jinyoung, that was one time and I was 12! I can’t believe you are so much more petty than Jaebum. No wonder you guys are friends.” She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes dramatically.
“I only said one thing and you derived your own conclusion.” He laughs again. It fades quickly, and he walks over to sit next to her. “I was just… kind of busy.”
Suji raises her brows. “With Nayeon?”
“That’s one.” He nods slightly.
Her face suddenly brightens up. “Is it going well?”
“Yeah. She learns fast.”
“That’s not what I mean,” she says. “Is it going well between you two?”
Jinyoung’s forehead forms creases. “Suji, it’s Nayeon.”
“Of course it’s Nayeon. Otherwise I wouldn’t bring this up.” She looks at him as though he just said something that doesn’t make sense when she’s the one who isn’t making any sense right now.
“She’s like my own sister.”
Suji sighs, clicks her tongue in frustration repeatedly and murmurs something under her breath that sounds like “Park Jinyoung, how dense can you be?” He pretends not to hear and gets up.
“I’m going home,” he announces.
She follows him and they fall into steps together. “Let’s go to that hotteok cart we used to go to all the time. Tell my best friend he’s paying.”
Jinyoung looks at her with a scowl and tries not to think much about how their legs synchronize and their shoulders brushing each other every now and then. “He said he’s never returning from his vacation,” says him. She gives his shoulder a good shove, and then they laugh.
“No wonder you’re missing from practice.”
They look up only to find a scary looking Jaebum who stands over by their table, arms crossed across his chest . “Shit,” murmurs Seungcheol under his breath after gulping down his strawberry smoothie that doesn’t feel like strawberry anymore. “I can explain,” he begs, and glances at Nayeon. “Wait, she can explain.”
Meanwhile, she raises both her hands in surrender. “It’s not my fault! I told him to go to practice but he insisted on coming here,” she settles instead.
Seungcheol looks at her like he’s never been more betrayed. But before he can even say anything, Jaebum’s already prodding Nayeon’s head with his finger on her temple. “Do you think I would buy that?” he says while stealing a sip of her mango smoothie.
She scowls at her brother, then glances at her friend. “Survival instinct,” she tells Seungcheol, who’s shooting her a nasty look. She returns her gaze at Jaebum. “But why are you here?”
“Jongin’s buying me coffee since he lost our bet earlier,” he answers, at the same time pointing towards the counter with his thumb.
“Oh,” she says when she locates Jongin there, her smile falters slightly around the edges. She doesn’t notice that Jaebum’s staring at her until she lifts her gaze again. “What?” she asks.
He shakes his head. “Nothing.” But the look in her eyes seems like he wants to say something. He doesn’t, and that moment vanishes when Jongin joins them.
“Hello Nayeonie,” he greets brightly as he stands next to Jaebum.
“Hi hyung,” Seungcheol greets back instead of Nayeon.
“Wasn’t talking to you,” Jongin replies curtly in a different tone, and Seungcheol feigns an offended look.
Nayeon chuckles at the two of them, while Jaebum grabs the iced americano his friend is holding and uses the other free hand to push him away by the shoulder. “Okay, okay, let’s go.”
Jongin mumbles something in protest but he’s already being forced to make his move. “Bye Nayeonie. See you when your brother’s not around,” he manages to tell her while glancing back.
“Am I invisible?” Seungcheol interrupts again.
“You’re insignificant!” the older boy shouts back.
They’re gone quickly, and the quietness that suddenly settles in feels strange. Nayeon’s still looking at the door when she realizes Seungcheol is giving her a look. “What?” she asks the same question for the second time.
He perches an elbow on the table and rest his chin in his hand. “Just wondering if that’s disappointment or relief I saw.”
She doesn’t reply to that.
It’s not even 10, but she’s already lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about everything and nothing though she’s still wide awake. Then the door creaks open and her brother peers in. “What?” she asks, getting up.
“Thought you’re already asleep,” Jaebum says, pushing the door more and allowing himself in without her invitation.
“Do you need something from me?” Nayeon asks suspiciously, wondering what he is doing in her room when he rarely acknowledges her existence at home unless when he needs something.
He’s quiet for a moment, which is so unlike him. It confuses her, especially since she can’t see his face in the dark. “Uh, Jinyoung wants to know why you’ve been cancelling your study sessions recently,” he says after a while.
“Is that all?”
“Why do you ask?” he shoots back.
She shrugs, though she doesn’t think he can see it. “I mean, you could’ve asked me some other time.”
“Well, I forgot to ask earlier and thought I might forget again tomorrow.” From the light behind him, she sees the silhouette of his hand moving up as he scratches the back of his neck. “Anyways, he wonders if he did or said something that offended you.”
“No he didn’t,” she answers immediately. “It’s just that I… had something to do.”
His face is completely hidden, but somehow she can feel his eyes scrutinizing her. He sits on her bed. “Is that really the truth?”
She purses her lips, not knowing how to answer him this time. In the end she settles with: “Why do you ask?”
“You never waste a second when it comes to Jinyoung.”
It is the truth. She would drop anything if she hears a mention of Jinyoung’s name. It’s the truth everyone knows. Everyone except Jinyoung himself. “It’s nothing,” she tells her brother.
Jaebum falls silent again and continues studying her in the dark. For once, she’s glad she decided to turn off the lights and go to bed earlier tonight. A minute passes, and finally he gets to his feet again. “Alright then,” he says. He heads off and closes the door behind him without another glance back.
Nayeon stares at the closed door long after he’s gone, then pulls her blanket over head and forces herself to fall asleep.
“Mornin’.”
Jinyoung’s face breaks into a smile the soon he sees his friend standing right outside his apartment building’s entrance. “You’re early again.”
“I beat Nayeon again.” Jaebum nods, using the same smug tone, except his smirk is missing today.
“Oh right, did you talk to her?” the former asks as they both begin their lazy stroll.
“Yeah, I did. She said it’s nothing. She had something to do. Dunno what that is, she didn’t say. I don’t think you should worry,” Jaebum tells him.
Jinyoung raises his brows. “You sure?”
“Yeah. Girls are weird. Nayeon is even weirder, trust me. One time she just started crying when I used a newspaper that has some actor’s face on it to kill a bug.”
They both laugh, but Jinyoung notices that Jaebum has that distant look in his eyes, and they are not smiling along. Jinyoung says nothing.
On normal days, Nayeon would be more than elated at the sight of her prince charming waiting for her outside her class, just like a scene from a drama. Today is not one of those days, unfortunately, and finding Jinyoung smiling right at her only adds more sadness in her heart.
“What are you doing here?” she manages to ask calmly.
“Just looking for a friend to eat lunch with,” he answers with a shrug, the same sentence he’s used before.
“Where’s Jaebum-oppa?”
“No idea. Probably with Suji.”
Nayeon flinches a bit at the sound of the name, and promptly wonders how Jinyoung bears it everyday. She sighs, then nods. “Okay.”
His face breaks into a relieved smile, and it both warms and pains her at the same time. She’s always liked the crinkles around his eyes when he smiles. “So, um,” he begins a little awkwardly after clearing his throat as they start making their way to the cafeteria. “Are you alright?”
“Why did you ask?”
He shrugs again. “Well, you’ve been cancelling our study sessions and I haven’t seen you around in the mornings either.”
She raises her brows in surprise. “You noticed?”
“Of course.” He nods like it’s a given. Does he also know that she goes there on purpose and only pretends to match his timing? “Did I offend you in any way?” he then asks.
“No, what made you think that?”
“Well, it did feel like you’ve been avoiding me,” he answers, again to her surprise. He’s not wrong this time, but she isn’t going to tell him that. Biting her lower lip, she casts her gaze low to the ground. “Did I really?”
“It’s not that, no,” she says, shaking her head before returning her gaze to him. He doesn’t seem to be buying it, so she attempts a smile. “I’ve been preoccupied by something else, and I haven’t been feeling too well. Lately I spent most of my times alone. Even my friends complained, so it’s not just you.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
“Yes.”
Pausing, Jinyoung stares at her long and hard, as though he’s studying her. She keeps her smile. After a while, he sighs and returns it. “Alright. I believe you,” he says, though it doesn’t sound like it at all. Nayeon tries not to be bothered by it. “But we’re meeting today, okay? No more skipping.”
She smiles again, wider, more genuine this time, exhales, and tries to get over her insecurities.
>>>
nayeon/jinyoung/suzy/jb
pg, 18125 words
a/n: once upon a time while watching cardcaptor sakura i thought how cute would it be if there was a fic where nayeon has a crush on her brother's best friend. or, i accidentally wrote a near-20k shoujo. i'd like to thank lisa who trusted me when i said i'd finish writing this by the end of this year, hannah who is still excited for this even after 176 years, and yun who always supported me. this is unbeta-ed.
Nayeon comes home that evening with a plan to mop over the maths exam she just bombed that morning by conquering the couch and remote control the whole day, preferably with a tub of ice-cream in the other hand or any food equivalent to that. But her plan goes up in smokes when she finds her brother sitting at the very couch, holding the very remote control, and his best friend next to him.
She almost drops her backpack, only saved because it gets caught on her wrist. Jaebum takes no heed in that, unsurprisingly, and proceeds to ignore her arrival with his eyes glued to the television screen. Jinyoung, however, looks up and flashes a smile that causes heart palpitations. “Welcome back,” he says, voice like butter.
“Oh, h-hello,” she returns his greeting, voice like scorched rice. Why can’t she be a graceful lady for once? “What are you doing here?”
“Jaebum and I are doing our homework together, since it’s a pair work, so I’ll be here the whole evening. I hope you don’t mind?” he explains, raising his brows slightly at the final word. Is he expecting her to answer?
“Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind,” Jaebum interrupts, only tearing his eyes away from the screen to give her a smirk. She wants to throw her bag at him, or anything within reach. He then adds, “Hey, ugly, we’re hungry.”
On normal occasions, Nayeon would either ignore him, especially after his last remark and what he called her, or respond with a simple make your own food, but today she remains civilized and heads straight to the kitchen without even changing out of her uniform. “We have leftover dwenjang jjigae from last night’s dinner. Is it enough?” she asks as she looks for more things in the refrigerator.
“Yeah. Jinyoung doesn’t eat a lot. Fry some eggs and that will do.”
If she could have it her way, the eggs would already be making their way towards her brother’s face, but again she remains civilized. She thinks of happy thoughts like ddeokbeokki and the boy in her living room right now, and takes out the bowl and three eggs. There’s no rice in the cooker, but thank god they have several packets of instant rice stocked for emergencies. She chucks the jjigae into the microwave and presses several buttons before it starts revolving around, then she takes out a clean bowl from the cabinet, cracks the eggs and focuses her anger on beating them.
“Need help?”
Nayeon gets a series of heart attacks from how close the voice is, when she realizes how close the person which the voice belongs to is standing from her, and who the person is. Her hand is frozen and her anger, just like that, has disappeared. She drops her mouth. “What?”
Jinyoung, completely unaware of the war going on inside her right now, only smiles wider and repeats his question. “I’m just wondering if you need help with anything?”
“Ah, yeah, I mean no. I don’t need anything, no. Wait, I mean-” She doesn’t know what she’s saying, and he’s blinking at her, probably thinking how silly she is. She hangs her head low and wishes the earth would open up and swallow her right there and then. She shouldn’t be allowed to open her mouth ever, especially in front of Jinyoung who is now laughing at her, looking so amused. This is not what she planned.
Right then, her brother once again interrupts, yelling from where he’s still sitting unmoved. “Jinyoung, if you keep bothering her, her food will go from just bearable to inedible.”
Maybe she should throw some eggs at Jaebum after all. She’s deciding between that and suffocating him to death when he sleeps tonight when Jinyoung says her name as he walks over to the microwave to take out the jjigae. “Smells good,” he comments.
“Mum made it,” Nayeon confesses. Last night she was too busy crying over math to come out of her room to help prepare dinner. Not that she helps that much anyway, but Jinyoung doesn’t have to know such details.
She manages to get him to leave the kitchen with an excuse that she’s not used to having anyone around, but really she just needs to focus, afraid that her egg rolls will end up as scrambled eggs instead. Thankfully, her attempt ends in success and the egg rolls turn out almost as pretty as she hoped (the sides are a tad burnt, she hopes Jaebum wouldn’t point that out even though she’s sure he would).
Blessed with the sense of smell better than that of a dog, the said person appears right away at the dining table just as she’s set the rice bowls. “My little sister has grown up well,” he offers with a pat on the top of her head, and she tries her best not to roll her eyes or slap his hand away because Jinyoung has approached them too. “Come sit. Don’t worry, her cooking may not be the best in the world but at least she wouldn’t dare to poison us.” Jaebum tells him, then glances back at her and quirks an eyebrow.
Nayeon looks at her almost-perfect egg rolls and imagines them on his face. Thank Jinyoung for flashing her a smile - her anger disappears faster than a blink of eye. “Thank you. I’ll eat well, Nayeonie,” he says. Honestly what did his brother do in his past life to be able to befriend someone like Jinyoung?
“I mean,” she begins, face contorted a little too dramatically as she tries to justify her case. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“What?” Seungcheol asks, only half-interested as he has most of his attention focused on his game. It’s a free period, supposed to be the Korean Language class but their teacher is out for an emergency leave. The word “self-study” is emblazoned on the blackboard in front but almost everyone, including them, is doing anything but studying.
“Have you even been listening?” Nayeon shoots back, annoyed, but quickly resumes her talk. “That someone like my satan of a brother could befriend such an angel is what doesn’t make sense.”
“Oh, like the fact we’re friends? I guess you two are truly siblings.”
She gives him a good smack on the head that almost caused him to lose grip of his phone. He finally pauses his game and looks up with a scowl. “Watch it!” he grunts.
“Reminds me again why I’m friends with you?”
He pretends to give it a deep thought. “Well, because no one else wants to listen to you obsessing over your brother’s best friend?”
“I don’t obsess over him!” she rebukes defensively.
“Yeah? Tell me again about how you purposely leave the house early every morning then wait at the corner near his house and pretend to run into him by chance when he gets out just so you can walk to school together?” he recounts, looking almost pleased with himself. “Such dedication. If you were as dedicated in your studies, I think even Einstein would bow down to you.”
Nayeon picks up a book and threatens to throw it at him, but he appears far from being apologetic, she instead kicks his leg under the leg. “You’re talking as if you’re the smartest in this class.”
“At least I didn’t purposely fail my English test so I could spend the summer having Park Jinyoung tutor me.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose, okay! And besides it was worth it,” she grins at the last sentence.
Going back to his game, Seungcheol makes a face and mumbles under his breath, “Obsessed.”
“Not going for lunch?” Jinyoung questions,glancing back, when he realizes his friend isn’t coming with him.
Jaebum shakes his head. “Nah, Suji’s bringing lunch she made,” he replies half-nonchalantly without even meeting Jinyoung’s gaze.
“Oh” is the only response the latter can manage. Jaebum is too immersed in writing the essay that needs to be submitted later to notice the way Jinyoung’s shoulders drop. “I’ll be going then,” he manages after a pause, then turns on his heel only to see Suji from a distance walking towards him.
“Hi Jinyoung,” greets her with a candy smile.
“Hello,” he replies, but thinking that might have sounded a little too stiff, he adds, “Having lunch with Jaebum?”
“Yeah. Why don’t you join us? I’m pretty sure it’s enough for the three of us.”
As much as he would love to spend time with her, Jinyoung turns down her offer. “It’s alright. I heard there’s tonkatsu for lunch today,” he lies. The school cafeteria never served tonkatsu before.
Fortunately for him, Suji buys his lie. “Well, if you say so.” She shrugs, perhaps looking slightly dejected, but he doesn’t keep his hopes high. “See you around, then, Jinyoung.”
He nods and attempts a smile. It still feels too stiff, but she’s already turned away.
Nayeon is standing on tiptoe behind a throng of students who are flocking around the bread stall when she feels a tap on her shoulder. She glances back, and her eyes widen when she learns it’s Jinyoung.
“Is that going to be your lunch?” he asks, pointing at the direction of the breads in their respective trays.
“Yeah.” She nods, omitting the fact that she’s not getting just one, or even two of them. She’s also getting several for Seungcheol whom she lost rock-paper-scissor with earlier. “Why?”
“Nothing.” Jinyoung shakes his head, smiling a little. “I’m actually looking for a friend to eat lunch with. Don’t feel like eating alone,” he confesses after a pause. “Do you want to be that friend?”
Her brows form a line, puzzled. “Where’s Jaebum oppa?”
“With Suji,” he answers simply. It seems that he tries to be nonchalant about it, but Nayeon knows him enough.
Her heart sinks. “I’ll eat with you,” she tells him.
“Really?”
“Sure,” she returns, smiling. On normal occasions, she would have already celebrated this and steal quick texts to Seungcheol to brag, having lunch with Jinyoung oppa, to hell with your breads. But she’s not even thinking of any of that. The only thing that is occupying her mind right now is the distant look on Jinyoung’s face as they stand in line to get their meals, as though he’s only physically here but not mentally.
She knows where his mind is.
“Let me help you with that.”
Before Jinyoung can turn around, there’s already a pair of hands reaching out to take half the stack of books he’s carrying from him. “You don’t have to,” he murmurs.
“It’s alright. I’m heading to the teachers’ room too.” Suji flashes a smile that’s too friendly and too familiar as they start to walk together. He looks away. “Why isn’t Jaebum helping you?”
“He ran off as soon as the bell rang. Said he needs to bully the first years into shape.” Jinyoung attempts a nonchalant shrug.
She chuckles. “He needs to stop abusing his power.”
“Good thing I’m not in his team.”
“He would’ve cut you some slack.”
“Don’t think so. Jongin complains about him everyday. Behind his back of course,” he adds the last part after a brief pause, and Suji chuckles again. “He said he even gets nightmares about Jaebum sometimes.”
Suji starts laughing. It feels nice, walking with her alone and hearing her laugh. It’s not something he’s not used to, but he realizes it’s been a while since the last time they were together like this. Without Jaebum. He steals a quick look at her and suddenly something inside him aches. “But Jongin’s different. You’re not him,” she then says.
Their eyes meet. Hers seem playful, with her smile intact. Jinyoung lets out a light chuckle, not too dry, and nudges her on the shoulder with his own. “Don’t turn this into some slice-of-life youth drama.”
They arrive at the teachers’ room, and Suji returns the books to him before going off to talk to her homeroom teacher. Mrs Ahn thanks them both then tells him he can leave now. He bows and takes his leave, but lingers outside the door making up excuses in his head. Before he can decide on one, however, Suji steps out and grins at him as though she knows all along he would be waiting. “Let’s go home.”
“Good morning!”
When he turns around, he is greeted by the sunny bunny-teethed grin he’s grown used to seeing almost every morning. “Morning, Nayeonie.” Jinyoung smiles back. “So bright even this early, as always. Are you ever not in a good mood?”
“Hmm,” she pretends to ponder over his question. “When Jaebum oppa bullies me?”
Her reply makes Jinyoung chuckle, and in return his laugh makes her smile wider. Nayeon forces herself awake and drags herself out of bed so early every morning, but seeing Jinyoung’s smile and knowing she’s the reason for it is definitely worth every effort.
“Ah, you two make me jealous sometimes. I wish I have a sibling too,” he remarks, facing ahead.
“If you had a younger sister, would you bully her like how my brother does me?” she asks.
“Well, maybe?” he answers, shrugging, and she laughs because she knows it’s a lie. Jinyoung has the kindest soul, and she doubts she will ever meet anyone nicer than him. "But really, Jaebum talks a lot about you. You talk a lot about him too. It makes me think it must be nice to have someone around, even if all you do everyday is bicker. My house is too quiet.”
Nayeon makes a disgusted face and shakes her head. “Having a brother like Jaebum oppa, you have no idea how much I want to be an only child.”
“The grass is always greener on the other side,” he comments, chuckling again.
She was starting to feel silly for whining about her brother to him like a child, but when his smile reappears, she’s instantly happy again. “So what did you do yesterday after you went home?”
He starts to talk about his homework and a documentary on Cambodian ruins that he watched last night, none that she has interest in, but she listens to him more enthusiastically than she does her favourite songs.
Nayeon is almost dozing off when someone taps her on the shoulder. “Oh, Jisoo. What is it?” she asks her class representative, who also sits in front her, while rubbing her eyes.
“There’s someone looking for you,” he says, pointing at the door.
She glances at that direction, and to her surprise, finds Suji there. Her eyes widen and she immediately leaps to her feet.
“Is something wrong?” she asks, confused and also worried.
But Suji just smiles and slips something into her hand; a 10000 won note. Nayeon stares at the older girl in confusion. “It’s your lunch money. Jaebum said you forgot it this morning so he asked me to pass it to you,” Suji explains.
“Ah, thank you, really. He could’ve come himself instead of making you do it. Should’ve,” Nayeon replies, feeling bad.
“Apparently it’s uncool to go find your sister at school because of something she carelessly left behind.” Suji laughs as she says that, while Nayeon can’t help rolling her eyes.
“He’s not even cool to begin with.”
“Totally not.”
They laugh together for a while, and soon the first bell rings. The latecomers are just starting their last minute sprint to their respective class now, including Seungcheol who’s just arrived with his mouth full, and his shoes bag in one hand. He eyes the two of them suspiciously as he passes them.
“Well I’d better run now,” Suji tells her, and without another word she dashes off.
Nayeon returns to her seat, and right behind it Seungcheol is smirking at her. His breakfast has been digested just fine. She rolls her eyes for the second time this morning. “You guys look friendly,” he comments.
“We have no reason to be enemies.” She shrugs, not meeting his eyes.
“She doesn’t, but you do.”
This time she does meet his eyes, just so she can smack him with her book. “Shut up.” She glares, but that doesn’t stop him from laughing. “She’s… cool.”
“I see,” he says, narrowing his eyes at her.
“Really,” she mumbles in return, staring down at her book.
He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but then their homeroom teacher walks in, so Nayeon turns back to face the front, and Seungcheol never brings it up again.
“Practice?” Jinyoung asks as Jaebum gathers his books and stationeries before shoving all of them into his bag.
“Yeah. We got a game coming up soon. You wanna come watch?”
“The practice?” The latter raises his brows.
Jaebum chuckles, giving his friend a light smack on the head with one of the pencils he’s still holding. “The game, you blockhead. It’s in Anyang, next weekend, so we can go get go something to eat afterwards. You can come with us by bus. I’ll let the coach know and save you a seat.”
Frowning, Jinyoung shoots a judging look. “Why does it sound like you’re asking me out on a date?”
“You can just say no if you don’t want. I can handle rejection, you know,” Jaebum shoots back. He feigns annoyance, but the corners of his lips are twitching.
Jinyoung smiles, and keeps silent for a minute before asking, “Is Suji coming?”
“I didn’t ask her, but I don’t think she’s gonna come even if I ask. Why?”
He doesn’t know why he asked either. As supportive as Suji is, she doesn’t actually come to all of Jaebum’s games even if it’s a home game, unless she has free time and is up for it. In the end he settles with: “So I know I’m not your second option.”
“Since when did you become so petty?”
Jinyoung starts laughing and gets to his feet. Just in time, Suji appears at the back door. “What are you guys laughing at?” she asks. She comes in when she sees that most of their classmates have left.
It’s Jaebum who replies. “Just talking about you.”
“Me? About what?”
“The fact that you talk in your sleep,” Jinyoung answers without meaning too, but Jaebum flashes an approving grin.
“Liar! That’s not a fact. We’ve never slept together. Wait, I don’t mean-” Her pupils enlarged as she glances at Jaebum, flustered. A tinge of pink colours her cheeks.
“It’s hard to not misunderstand but I understand.” He nods with closed eyes.
“Thank you,” she smiles, laughing a little, then turns to Jinyoung all serious again. “Anyway, it never happened.”
“Yes it did. Autumn when we were 11 when you fell asleep in my room preparing for my birthday surprise while I was out with my parents.”
She clicks her tongue, looking like she wants to protest but knows he’s right. Suji hates to be proven wrong, so she brings up other things, like at least I did something, unlike you. Crossing his arms, Jinyoung opens his mouth to say something, but he remembers Jaebum is here and that he wasn’t there in their childhood. He closes his mouth.
“You guys are making me jealous,” Jaebum says wistfully, shoving Jinyoung on the arm but his eyes are on her. There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, a trace of longingness in his gaze.
Jinyoung only smiles, yet as they begin to make their way out of the class, then go separate ways while Jaebum heads to the gymnasium, a thought continues to circle around his mind, who’s the one should be jealous really?
After dinner, Nayeon and Jaebum sit at both ends of the couch watching TV, while their mother is preparing another side dish for their father who hasn’t come home from work. Out of the corner of her eyes, Nayeon can see that her brother’s attention isn’t on TV, despite fighting with her earlier for the remote, but instead on his phone. His fingers make quick movements as he replies incoming texts. There’s a smile tugging at his lips. Suji.
“Oppa,” she calls. He gives no response even when she tries again, so she uses her left toe to poke at him.
It works, and he casts an irritated glare. “What?”
She suddenly hesitates. “Why…”
“Why what?” He grows impatient.
“Why- what do you like about her?” she blurts out.
“Who?”
She eyes him cautiously before answering. “Suji unni.”
He shoots an incredulous look at her like she has just asked him the oddest question he’s ever heard. But then he faces front again, back straightened, that look disappears and he’s all serious. “What’s there not to like?”
Nayeon just stares at him, her brother who shows no affection and only cracks a smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle when he’s pulling a joke on her; a stranger to her now. Her gaze falls to her lap. “Would you still like her if back then you found out that someone say else likes her too?”
“That depends.”
“What if it was a friend?” She decides to push her luck. “What if it was Jinyoung oppa?”
As though he’s just realized that he’s having this conversation with her, he snorts and relaxes back into the couch. “Why are you asking all these funny questions? Go do your homework” he replies instead.
She glances at the TV, then back at him. His eyes are on it now, but the program is already over.
On his way back, Jinyoung finds Nayeon crouched down by the wall just outside the convenience store near their school. He enters the store without her noticing, buys a strawberry milk and a can of coffee, then goes back outside and heads to where she is.
“Here,” he says, holding out the strawberry milk to her. She’s clearly startled to see him. With a rather restrained smile, she takes the milk and thanks him. “Something wrong?” he asks, taking a seat next to her while opening his can.
It’s already over an hour since school ended. He stayed back to do some tasks for his homeroom teacher. From what he knows and heard from Jaebum, Nayeon usually goes straight home, unless she wants to hang out with her friends. Running into her here alone at this time is rare.
Pushing the straw to penetrate the thin metal lid, she takes a long drag, slowly and quietly, so unlike her usual self. She seems hesitant to answer him, so he doesn’t push, and just wait while he takes small sips of his coffee. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he tells her.
She takes another glance at him, and exhales a sigh. “I got the result for my maths exam today,” she begins meekly, hiding her face behind her hair. “It’s not good.”
Ah. He nods. “That bad?”
“Not really, but just not what what I hoped,” she answers.
Another sip. “Why don’t you ask Jaebum to help teach you? He’s good at maths.”
“I know, but he will laugh at me first then wouldn’t stop talking about it for the rest of my life.”
Jinyoung laughs lightly. “He would do that,” he agrees. “Then do you want me to teach you?”
She turns to him, eyes widening in surprise. “But you already helped me with English before,” she says.
“So?”
“I mean, that would inconvenience you.”
“Why would that inconvenience me? I won’t need to revise for my exam later.”
She looks at him like she’s having a hard time believing him. He flashes a smile to reassure her. “Really?”
“Really.” He nods.
A smile finally appears on her face, instantly revealing her bunny teeth that she used to hate. He remembers she used to smile a tight lipped smile at everyone back then just to hide her teeth. “I’ll be nice to you for the rest of my life,” she tells him.
He laughs again. “That’s alright. Just make me those nice croquettes you made once the next time I come over.”
Creases form in her forehead. “Jaebum oppa said they were horrible.”
“He was just being mean.”
She smiles again. They finish their drinks in silence, then he walks her home.
Without warning, he feels a hand pulling his earphones out. Jinyoung immediately turns around, only to find Jaebum grinning at him with two fingers up in salute. “Yo!” the latter greets.
“Can’t you at least knock?” Jinyoung asks as his friend drops his bag to the floor and plops down on the bed a little too comfortably.
“I did, you deaf,” Jaebum replies, holding up the earphones to remind him.
“I should tell my mum to stop opening our door to you.”
“Go ahead. I know where you keep your spare key.”
Jinyoung snorts. Jaebum is still wearing his school uniform, unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, which means he came straight from practice. The former yanks his pillow away, causing him to protest. “Did you even shower?”
“Nope,” he answers too casually.
Jinyoung uses the same pillow to smack him on the face, but this time Jaebum laughs instead of protesting. “Why are you here?” he asks, turning back to his books on his study desk.
“Can’t I drop by to see my dear friend’s face?” He glances back with a terrorised face while Jaebum continues laughing for a moment. It fades soon after, and they’re left in silence. “Is that you and Suji?”
Jinyoung didn’t remember he’s temporarily stuck that photo on his wall until Jaebum points it out. He panics a little. It is simply there because he just came across it recently and hasn’t figured out where to keep it safe. It’s one of the very few photos of him with Suji they actually have taken over the years they’ve known each other. “I found it while cleaning my drawers the other day,” he admits.
“How old were you guys here?”
He looks at the photo. They were sitting next to each other on rocks by a beach, Suji was wearing a swimsuit, while he just wore a simple t-shirt and shorts. They used to go to the beach almost every summer, but he remembered that year in particular was when she was starting to feel strange about her changing body. They never went to the beach again after that. “10-ish… 11 I think? I forgot.”
Jaebum keeps his stare on the photo without another word, but Jinyoung can see the longing in his eyes. He only came along much later just before they started high school, when he and Jinyoung first became classmates in their previous school. He met Suji when she came by to borrow a book from Jinyoung, who wasn’t in the class at that time. Jaebum, who sat by the back door, let her borrow his instead.
There are days when Jinyoung would sit and wonder what would have happened if he had been in the class, or if Jaebum’s seat hadn’t been by the door. Of course Jaebum and Suji’s paths would have crossed anyway on another occasion, but would the outcome still be the same?
Jaebum only tears his gaze away after a long while. Looking at Jinyoung, he opens his mouth again. “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been tutoring Nayeon?”
“You didn’t know?” Jinyoung asks, raising his brows, a little surprised that Jaebum’s hasn’t heard about it since it has been going on for a couple of weeks. “I assumed she would tell you.”
“Nah. Heard it from Suji.”
“Oh,” comes as his response, remembering the other day when Suji saw them at the library after school. “Why? Do you have a problem about that?”
“No,” Jaebum replies brusquely, which doesn’t sound very convincing. Jinyoung looks at him. “Well, if it’s not obvious enough, Nayeon has a thing for you.”
Jaebum is now sitting up. Their eyes meet briefly, then Jinyoung lowers his gaze as he nods. “Yeah, I kind of knew.”
“I mean, it’s not that it’s not okay. It’s cool. But then again she’s still my sister and you’re my friend,” Jaebum says. “Just that, I know you mean well, but if you don’t like her that way, then don’t lead her on. I just… don’t want to be in a position where I have to choose sides.”
Three years Jinyoung’s known Jaebum, and he rarely gets serious. Jinyoung isn’t really sure what exactly he’s supposed to do, or what he’s expected to do. He resorts to make the atmosphere lighter. From where he sits, he kicks Jaebum’s foot. “Did you come all the way to give this some sort of a stay-away-from-my-sister warning like in dramas?”
Jaebum’s eyes meet his, and the pillow flies and hits Jinyoung square in the face.
“You’re smiling to yourself,” Seungcheol comments.
He and Nayeon are working on their maths homework together. It was given out yesterday and is supposed to be completed by today, but she totally forgot about it while Seungcheol passed out early last night after an intense basketball practice session. There’s still some time left before the first bell, so they’re trying their best to get this done quickly.
“What?” Nayeon asks dumbly.
He uses his pencil to point at their books and then her face. “We’re doing maths and you’re not crying. In fact you’re actually smiling. Is the world ending?”
She laughs, which startles him more because he was preparing to defend his shins from her kick. “You know, doing maths is actually fun now that I know how to solve these problems,” she tells him.
“Amazing. What spell is Jinyoung using on you? You hated maths. You once made a wish on your birthday for maths to disappear from the world.”
This time she does kick his shin, and he didn’t get to evade fast enough. “Don’t spread lies. I never hated maths or wished for such thing.”
She does mean it that she’s started to enjoy the subject more after Jinyoung has cleared up what she never understood before. Even now, doing her homework with Seungcheol, she can solve every question without much trouble by recalling the methods she’s been taught.
“Do you really like it that much?” he asks now, voice no longer laced with tease.
“What? Maths?”
“Getting to spend time with him.”
“Ah.” Nayeon stops writing and casts a glance out the window. From their seats, they can see the wide field. It makes her happy whenever she gets to catch a glimpse of Jinyoung when the boys in his class play there during PE. She smiles. “I can’t even put it in words.”
Seungcheol chuckles, then resumes his work. “Good for you.”
“Nayeon!”
She glances around and scans the cafeteria to find the person who called her, and soon spots Suji at a table not too far away waving her hand. Sitting with her at the same table are Jaebum and Jinyoung. Oh.
“Come sit with us!” she offers when Nayeon approaches with her lunch tray.
“But-”
Before Nayeon can say anything more, Suji has already risen to her feet to drag her to the empty seat across of her and take her tray and set it down on the table. “Why did you call this ugly thing here? Let her go sit with her friends,” Jaebum says, giving a look of protest as he chews his rice.
“You just don’t want her here because it might put you at disadvantage,” Suji retaliates with a grin, and he just makes a face at her. “And stop calling her ugly! Nayeonie is the prettiest girl I know, okay.”
“I’m already at disadvantage here.”
Nayeon stares at them for a while in confusion before turning to Jinyoung who is sitting next to her. He flashes his usual friendly smile. Her cheeks turn a deeper shade of red. “Just one of their banters. It’s normal,” he explains briefly.
“Okay,” Suji then says, turning to her. “Would you side with your brother or with me?”
Nayeon is really still clueless about the situation, but after a glance at Jaebum, she settles with: “Anyone but him.”
Suji laughs and raises a hand to initiate a high five, and Nayeon grants it, beaming. She turns to Jinyoung afterwards. “You? Me or this idiotic friend of yours?”
“Friendly reminder, you happen to be dating this idiotic friend of his,” Jaebum intercepts, but Suji just shoves him away.
“I…” Jinyoung begins, darting his eyes back and forth from his friend to the other. “Leave me out of this,” he announces diplomatically, but the two responds with a string of protests.
Nayeon watches this whole process before glancing sideways at Jinyoung. He has his gaze fixed on his half eaten bowl of rice, a restrained half smile on his face. In front of them, Suji and Jaebum continue their banter laughing, their surrounding blurred away. Her heart clenches.
Just before she exits the cafeteria, Suji comes and starts walking with her, sliding her hand comfortably around Nayeon’s arm.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asks.
Startled by her question, Nayeon shakes her head instantly. “Of course not.”
“You’re just like your brother in this sense,” Suji remarks, chuckling. “You both are such bad liars.”
“Oppa lies to you?”
“Sometimes. Not the bad kinds though, like when he goes off to play games with the other boys. He’d tell me he has practice or homework,” she explains, laughing as she’s remembering it. “It’s funny because he actually sounds pretty convincing, like he’s practised it before. I wouldn’t be able to tell if I didn’t know how his voice tends to sound slightly nasal-ish when he lies.”
Nayeon laughs along. “I’m embarrassed to have him as my brother.”
“Boys are stupid, really. And they think they can fool us,” Suji says. They walk up the stairs that lead up to Nayeon’s class. Suji’s class is located at the opposite building. “Jinyoungie’s really dense, too, don’t you think?”
Nayeon doesn’t miss the affectionate suffix, but keeps her smile. “What do you mean?”
“How can he still not notice it when you look at him like that?”
It catches her by surprise. She stops at her tracks and blinks at Suji. “You know?”
“Of course I do.” The older girl smiles. “I’ve known Jinyoung for a long time. Somehow I’m always the first who notices when a girl likes him, but he never does. I really don’t know what goes on in his head sometimes.”
I do, Nayeon thinks.
“Don’t worry. This unni will support and help you. If you need anything, his most embarrassing childhood stories, even materials to blackmail him with, you can come to me anytime.”
She only smiles, unable to say anything else. Suji is beautiful inside and out. Standing next to her, Nayeon can’t help but feel extremely small. It’s no question why she’s liked by both boys. She can’t even compare.
"Are you okay?” Seungcheol asks when he finds Nayeon still standing outside the class later even after the bell has rung.
“No.” She shakes her head. Tears escape from her eyes before she can stop them. She looks at her friend who is now staring at her with a look of concern. “I don’t think I’m okay, Seungcheol.”
“‘sup,” comes a voice along with a sling of arm around his shoulders, and he knows before he even glances to his side that it’s Jaebum.
“Morning,” he murmurs in reply, then checks his watch. “You’re early.”
“Yeah. I beat Nayeon out today,” Jaebum answers with a proud grin. There’s a basketball tucked under his other arm.
Jinyoung adjusts the strap of his back on his left shoulder, Jaebum’s arm remains unmoved as they walk together. His cardigan sleeve peeks out underneath his school issued jacket. “Speaking of Nayeon, is she okay? I actually haven’t seen her around lately.”
“Thought you guys see each other after school?”
Jinyoung shakes his head. “We haven’t met up since last week? I don’t know why but she’s been cancelling without really giving any reason. I thought she’s just busy, but then - you know how sometimes we run into each other around this time, right? - she stopped showing up as well.”
“Now that you mention it, she didn’t really look all that energetic this morning as well. I thought it’s just one of her days,” Jaebum recalls, tilting his head aside.
“She didn’t say anything to you?” Jinyoung asks.
Jaebum scoffs. “Nayeon doesn’t tell me shit. Don’t you know us well enough?”
“Maybe you should ask?” Jinyoung tells him. “I wonder if I did or said something.”
Jaebum retracts his arm and starts dribbling his ball. “Maybe you shouldn’t worry too much,” he murmurs back, shrugging. “By the way, hear this. Yesterday at practice, I don’t know what got into him but suddenly Jongin’s all hyped up to attempt shooting from midcourt.”
Smiling, Jinyoung listens to his friend’s story, but every now and then he keeps glancing back, wondering if that bright bunny smile that he’s grown accustomed to seeing almost every morning will appear.
The final bell goes off, and once their homeroom teacher leaves the class, everyone starts packing their things and Nayeon is sitting hunched down on her table when she feels someone kicking her chair.
“Yo, Im Nayeon,” Seungcheol calls. She doesn’t glance back, so he kicks her chair again until she does.
“What?” she hisses, glaring at him irritatedly while he only grins.
“You’re skipping again today?” he asks.
Instead of replying right away, she exhales a despondent sigh. “I think I stepped on kitten in my past life, or dropped a newborn. Or maybe I betrayed the nation. Is that enough sin to deserve this sad fate?”
He resists a temptation to roll his eyes for the sake of his friend. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
“Do you think I will be unhappy for the rest of my life? Use my spare time to feed pigeons at the park, then grow old as a cat lady as I watch my brother who spends this lifetime torturing me live his life happily? Do you think he will be punished in his next life in return? Will I be happy in my next life?” she goes on.
This time, it’s Seungcheol who sighs. “Okay, first of all, you need to stop being a drama queen,” he starts. “Second of all, I never I’d say this ever but at this point I’d rather see your dumb lovestruck face as you babble on nonstop about Jinyoung.”
She frowns at him. “I’m not sure if I should be touched.”
“I don’t even understand why you’re so heartbroken in the first place. It’s not you didn’t know that he likes your brother’s girlfriend.”
“Don’t say that out loud!” she hisses, slapping his arm, then resumes her forlorn face. “I know that, but all this while I pretended not to know and hoped over time it would fade. But that doesn’t seem to be happening. And what’s worse is I can’t even bring myself to hate Suji unni. Not when she’s that nice to me.”
Nayeon can feel her friend’s eyes on her as she exhales another sigh. She knows what he said is right, and that she’s being a little overdramatic. It’s not like this is a new knowledge to her. But the more time she spends with Jinyoung, the more apparent the gap between them is to her. Even when he’s right in front of her, it feels like they are a million light years apart.
Seungcheol sighs as well and gives her shoulder a pat. “Should I buy you an ice-cream? Or is ddeokbokki more your thing? Please notice that that means I’m skipping today’s practice which equals to risking getting murdered by your brother when I see him tomorrow. Does that knowledge at least cheer you up?”
She raises her eyes at him and manages a small smile. “That knowledge does make me feel better, but I think my life would be a little boring without you, so if my brother ever threatens to murder you, he needs to face me first. Though I’m not sure if he would think twice about it.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughs. “That’s the Im Nayeon I know.”
Jinyoung is halfway through cleaning the blackboard when he notices Suji standing by the door, one leg crossed over the other as she leans sideways on the frame. “Hello there.” She waves with a smile gracing her lips.
“You just missed Jaebum,” is his response, alternating between resuming his duty and glancing at him.
“I came to see my best friend,” she retorts, scowling a little. She enters his classroom and takes a seat at one of the desks in the front row which belongs to Wonpil. “Have you seen my best friend around? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“He told me he went on a break because his best friend gave him headaches,” he answers. The corners of his lips curl while she scoffs. “Any message for him?’
“Tell him that he’s going to get it when he returns for going on a break alone. And that his best friend misses him a lot.”
Jinyoung’s hand freezes for a moment, but he quickly finishes his task and sets the duster down before turning to face her while standing behind the teacher’s desk. “Something wrong?”
She frowns. “Must something be wrong for you to spend time with me?”
“I’m going on another break.”
“Don’t be so sensitive!” Suji protests, and he laughs, eyes all crinkled. Her smile returns instantly. “Honestly, I feel like I haven’t heard your laugh since forever.” She leans forward, elbow perched on the desk and chin cupped in her palm. “Did Jaebum tell you not to hang out with me? I know he can be so childish but is he really that petty? I’m going to add salt into his energy drink.”
“He didn’t. Don’t victimize an innocent citizen,” he says, chuckling at her suggestion.
“Then? Were you mad at me about something? Why you always refused to eat my packed lunch?”
“That’s because your cooking is barely edible.”
“I cook alright, okay. Is it because of that burned sweet potato incident? Oh my god, Park Jinyoung, that was one time and I was 12! I can’t believe you are so much more petty than Jaebum. No wonder you guys are friends.” She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes dramatically.
“I only said one thing and you derived your own conclusion.” He laughs again. It fades quickly, and he walks over to sit next to her. “I was just… kind of busy.”
Suji raises her brows. “With Nayeon?”
“That’s one.” He nods slightly.
Her face suddenly brightens up. “Is it going well?”
“Yeah. She learns fast.”
“That’s not what I mean,” she says. “Is it going well between you two?”
Jinyoung’s forehead forms creases. “Suji, it’s Nayeon.”
“Of course it’s Nayeon. Otherwise I wouldn’t bring this up.” She looks at him as though he just said something that doesn’t make sense when she’s the one who isn’t making any sense right now.
“She’s like my own sister.”
Suji sighs, clicks her tongue in frustration repeatedly and murmurs something under her breath that sounds like “Park Jinyoung, how dense can you be?” He pretends not to hear and gets up.
“I’m going home,” he announces.
She follows him and they fall into steps together. “Let’s go to that hotteok cart we used to go to all the time. Tell my best friend he’s paying.”
Jinyoung looks at her with a scowl and tries not to think much about how their legs synchronize and their shoulders brushing each other every now and then. “He said he’s never returning from his vacation,” says him. She gives his shoulder a good shove, and then they laugh.
“No wonder you’re missing from practice.”
They look up only to find a scary looking Jaebum who stands over by their table, arms crossed across his chest . “Shit,” murmurs Seungcheol under his breath after gulping down his strawberry smoothie that doesn’t feel like strawberry anymore. “I can explain,” he begs, and glances at Nayeon. “Wait, she can explain.”
Meanwhile, she raises both her hands in surrender. “It’s not my fault! I told him to go to practice but he insisted on coming here,” she settles instead.
Seungcheol looks at her like he’s never been more betrayed. But before he can even say anything, Jaebum’s already prodding Nayeon’s head with his finger on her temple. “Do you think I would buy that?” he says while stealing a sip of her mango smoothie.
She scowls at her brother, then glances at her friend. “Survival instinct,” she tells Seungcheol, who’s shooting her a nasty look. She returns her gaze at Jaebum. “But why are you here?”
“Jongin’s buying me coffee since he lost our bet earlier,” he answers, at the same time pointing towards the counter with his thumb.
“Oh,” she says when she locates Jongin there, her smile falters slightly around the edges. She doesn’t notice that Jaebum’s staring at her until she lifts her gaze again. “What?” she asks.
He shakes his head. “Nothing.” But the look in her eyes seems like he wants to say something. He doesn’t, and that moment vanishes when Jongin joins them.
“Hello Nayeonie,” he greets brightly as he stands next to Jaebum.
“Hi hyung,” Seungcheol greets back instead of Nayeon.
“Wasn’t talking to you,” Jongin replies curtly in a different tone, and Seungcheol feigns an offended look.
Nayeon chuckles at the two of them, while Jaebum grabs the iced americano his friend is holding and uses the other free hand to push him away by the shoulder. “Okay, okay, let’s go.”
Jongin mumbles something in protest but he’s already being forced to make his move. “Bye Nayeonie. See you when your brother’s not around,” he manages to tell her while glancing back.
“Am I invisible?” Seungcheol interrupts again.
“You’re insignificant!” the older boy shouts back.
They’re gone quickly, and the quietness that suddenly settles in feels strange. Nayeon’s still looking at the door when she realizes Seungcheol is giving her a look. “What?” she asks the same question for the second time.
He perches an elbow on the table and rest his chin in his hand. “Just wondering if that’s disappointment or relief I saw.”
She doesn’t reply to that.
It’s not even 10, but she’s already lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about everything and nothing though she’s still wide awake. Then the door creaks open and her brother peers in. “What?” she asks, getting up.
“Thought you’re already asleep,” Jaebum says, pushing the door more and allowing himself in without her invitation.
“Do you need something from me?” Nayeon asks suspiciously, wondering what he is doing in her room when he rarely acknowledges her existence at home unless when he needs something.
He’s quiet for a moment, which is so unlike him. It confuses her, especially since she can’t see his face in the dark. “Uh, Jinyoung wants to know why you’ve been cancelling your study sessions recently,” he says after a while.
“Is that all?”
“Why do you ask?” he shoots back.
She shrugs, though she doesn’t think he can see it. “I mean, you could’ve asked me some other time.”
“Well, I forgot to ask earlier and thought I might forget again tomorrow.” From the light behind him, she sees the silhouette of his hand moving up as he scratches the back of his neck. “Anyways, he wonders if he did or said something that offended you.”
“No he didn’t,” she answers immediately. “It’s just that I… had something to do.”
His face is completely hidden, but somehow she can feel his eyes scrutinizing her. He sits on her bed. “Is that really the truth?”
She purses her lips, not knowing how to answer him this time. In the end she settles with: “Why do you ask?”
“You never waste a second when it comes to Jinyoung.”
It is the truth. She would drop anything if she hears a mention of Jinyoung’s name. It’s the truth everyone knows. Everyone except Jinyoung himself. “It’s nothing,” she tells her brother.
Jaebum falls silent again and continues studying her in the dark. For once, she’s glad she decided to turn off the lights and go to bed earlier tonight. A minute passes, and finally he gets to his feet again. “Alright then,” he says. He heads off and closes the door behind him without another glance back.
Nayeon stares at the closed door long after he’s gone, then pulls her blanket over head and forces herself to fall asleep.
“Mornin’.”
Jinyoung’s face breaks into a smile the soon he sees his friend standing right outside his apartment building’s entrance. “You’re early again.”
“I beat Nayeon again.” Jaebum nods, using the same smug tone, except his smirk is missing today.
“Oh right, did you talk to her?” the former asks as they both begin their lazy stroll.
“Yeah, I did. She said it’s nothing. She had something to do. Dunno what that is, she didn’t say. I don’t think you should worry,” Jaebum tells him.
Jinyoung raises his brows. “You sure?”
“Yeah. Girls are weird. Nayeon is even weirder, trust me. One time she just started crying when I used a newspaper that has some actor’s face on it to kill a bug.”
They both laugh, but Jinyoung notices that Jaebum has that distant look in his eyes, and they are not smiling along. Jinyoung says nothing.
On normal days, Nayeon would be more than elated at the sight of her prince charming waiting for her outside her class, just like a scene from a drama. Today is not one of those days, unfortunately, and finding Jinyoung smiling right at her only adds more sadness in her heart.
“What are you doing here?” she manages to ask calmly.
“Just looking for a friend to eat lunch with,” he answers with a shrug, the same sentence he’s used before.
“Where’s Jaebum-oppa?”
“No idea. Probably with Suji.”
Nayeon flinches a bit at the sound of the name, and promptly wonders how Jinyoung bears it everyday. She sighs, then nods. “Okay.”
His face breaks into a relieved smile, and it both warms and pains her at the same time. She’s always liked the crinkles around his eyes when he smiles. “So, um,” he begins a little awkwardly after clearing his throat as they start making their way to the cafeteria. “Are you alright?”
“Why did you ask?”
He shrugs again. “Well, you’ve been cancelling our study sessions and I haven’t seen you around in the mornings either.”
She raises her brows in surprise. “You noticed?”
“Of course.” He nods like it’s a given. Does he also know that she goes there on purpose and only pretends to match his timing? “Did I offend you in any way?” he then asks.
“No, what made you think that?”
“Well, it did feel like you’ve been avoiding me,” he answers, again to her surprise. He’s not wrong this time, but she isn’t going to tell him that. Biting her lower lip, she casts her gaze low to the ground. “Did I really?”
“It’s not that, no,” she says, shaking her head before returning her gaze to him. He doesn’t seem to be buying it, so she attempts a smile. “I’ve been preoccupied by something else, and I haven’t been feeling too well. Lately I spent most of my times alone. Even my friends complained, so it’s not just you.”
“Are you feeling better now?”
“Yes.”
Pausing, Jinyoung stares at her long and hard, as though he’s studying her. She keeps her smile. After a while, he sighs and returns it. “Alright. I believe you,” he says, though it doesn’t sound like it at all. Nayeon tries not to be bothered by it. “But we’re meeting today, okay? No more skipping.”
She smiles again, wider, more genuine this time, exhales, and tries to get over her insecurities.
>>>