Empowering Dobby (Warning: Language, with asterisks)

[naill_renfro]

Does Dobby’s servility grate on you? If it does, try replacing the word “sir,” every time he says it, with “motherf***er.” Instant empowerment! (A few exclamation points replacing the Rowlingian ellipses help, too.)

"Th-thank you," said Harry, edging along the wall and sinking into his desk chair, next to Hedwig, who was asleep in her large cage.

Comments

[jjschwabach]

That sounds more like something Kreacher would do.

And what of Winky? She is far more grating than Dobby, says I...

[naill_renfro]

Kreacher is already empowered, filthy Mudblood! He needs no help from blood traitor scum!

But it works with Winky, too:

"Why not?" said Harry.
Winky lowered her voice by a half-octave and whispered, "He is wanting paying for his work, motherf***er!"

[jjschwabach]

On Winky, it's a 100% improvement.

[mollyringle]

Hah! That's a huge improvement. I'm certain it shall haunt me forevermore when I read/see Dobby. :)

Also, he's had it with these motherf***ing snakes!

[jjschwabach]

On this motherf***ing broom!

[mollyringle]

Heheh. Someday I'll actually see Snakes on a Plane so as to improve my parody material. Still, I have the feeling I know all I need to know...