WoW: Archive of the Ancients
* Okay, once he gets over his need to wangst every three or four paragraphs, and instead extends his wangst horizon to only once a chapter or so, Rhonin becomes a much more tolerable character. Not a likeable one, mind you, but at least I'm now at the point where I don't want to see Neltharion summarily bite his head off. And the fact that he came to the correct moral reasoning for not incinerating Broxigar and actually thinks of the Horde as a valuable ally in the fight against the Scourge is extremely endearing. Maybe Dalaran should think about sending him to Stormwind for a brief diplomatic engagement in which he strikes Varian Wrynn repeatedly in the head with a sorcerously empowered Clue Stick? I'd pay to see that. Hell, I'd write it for free.
* On the other hand, I have transferred my desire to stab a character in the face at least once every two paragraphs for offenses against drama entirely to Krasus/Korialstrasz. That's some mighty convenient time-travel-scramble amnesia you've got there, dude, that lets you wangst at exhaustive length over your beloved Alexstrasza and the horrible stuff that's going to happen to her and your homeboy Malygos and how you can't tell either of them about any of it lest you alter the flow of history but not remember the circumstances surrounding Neltharion going batshit insane EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE MANIFESTLY PRESENT TO EXPERIENCE THOSE EVENTS FIRST HAND. BECAUSE YOU'RE A DRAGON. A 10,000+ YEAR OLD DRAGON. WHO PERSONALLY WITNESSED NELTHARION GOING BATSHIT INSANE. And then you wangst at exhaustive length about how, even if you COULD remember how and when and why Neltharion goes batshit, you couldn't do anything about it because that would also change the course of history -- though that doesn't actually stop you from attempting to change the course of history. Krasus, my friend, you are a hot mess but at least you're a hot mess whose sections are among the best written in the whole book thus far, and so I do not find your wangst quite as annoying as Rhonin's. I do, however, totally blame you for the Sunwell Trilogy. Just warning you in advance.
* That being said, I found it quite refreshing to see someone, specifically Krasus, admitting out loud that the dragons in general have kinda fallen down on the job of actually effectively warding the world. That was rather endearing and almost made up for three chapters of "Oh, noes! I cannot tell my beloved of the forthcoming crap lest I invalidate the future from which I come! Oh, noes! Even if I sit on my ass and do nothing the Aspects may find they have to destroy Rhonin and I because we're temporal anomalies! Meanwhile, I will be intensely jealous of my younger self for my ability to be intimate with my own mate!"
...Okay, maybe admitting that dragons have tended to be a bunch of ineffective screw-ups except when it comes to damage-mitigation really didn't make up for that.
* That being said...Okay, look, I've got no problem with the Kaldorei of this era being a bunch of assholes. Lore generally indicates that, at this point in their history, they were a bunch of assholes and so having them conducting experiments into mastering the full powers of the Well of Eternity specifically for the purpose of committing genocide against the "lesser" races -- and the insufficiently perfect members of their own race -- is admirably breathtaking assholery most high. No, my problem is not with the rat bastardy. It's with the utter, rock-chewing stupidity they seem to practice as a racial passive trait in this time period. Look, it's like this: the Kaldorei have built for themselves a continent-spanning magic-powered empire that draws heavily on the energies of the Well of Eternity to keep it running. You'd fucking think that, in a culture that produces the equivalent of unskilled magical labor capable of attuning complicated ley-line manipulating magical instruments with the twist of a knob and the push of a button, that the highest orders of magic using citizens would not be fucking idiots. You would be wrong. Or at least wrong as far as this story is concerned. The Highborne are rock-chewing morons of the highest conceivable order. They are depicted as having little conceptual, theoretical understanding of the forces they command in the Well of Eternity -- please ignore the continent-spanning magical empire, of which future Quel'Thalas is but the palest shadow -- and, moreover, so easily impressed by/twisted to the will of Sargeras that they effectively possess none of the strength of mind and will that is frequently depicted as vitally necessary to successfully command magic. The implication, also reinforced by the ease with which Rhonin commands ass-whupping magic in this time period, is that the Well of Eternity doesn't require intelligence or discipline to use, only the general idea of what you want and sufficient petulant assholery that you can nag it into yielding up your desired effect. I call character assassination for the entire Kaldorei race, and believe me I never thought I'd say that.
* Speaking of characterization...Well. I'll just say it: it sucks to be a female character in this book thus far, I'll tell you that right now. You will have one or two personality characteristics assigned to you, max, and all of your dialogue and actions will revolve around those two characteristics. For example:
Vereesa Windrunner is the youngest badass sister of the wholly and utterly badass Windrunner family. She gets to be a) extremely pregnant and b) endearingly snarky about her ability to be extremely pregnant without anyone's assistance for a couple hours until a neighbor woman comes over to sit with her.
Tyrande Whisperwind, the future High Priestess of Elune and titular ruler of the Kaldorei, is intensely virtuous, intensely compassionate, and otherwise totally consumed with triangular relationship wangst, even when the relationship wangst is probably the least of the things she's got to worry about. No, seriously, when you know weird shit involving creatures you've never seen before (i.e., orcs, humans, demons) suddenly popping into existence at about the same time that weird magical shit involving prescient visions on the part of your childhood friend starts happening, your relationship issues would probably take a back seat. But not if you're Tyrande Whisperwind, and your entire purpose in the story is to act as the Virgin in a compare-and-contrast present-and-future-rulers virgin/whore dychotomy and to give Malfurion and Illidan something to fight about.
Queen Azshara is someone I came into this story with no preconceived notions about with regard to characterization. The Lore regarding her -- that she was the much-revered benevolent ruler of the Kaldorei prior to the Sundering who became abstracted from her people's needs as their culture grew more and more dependent on magic and fell from grace -- is pretty straight-forward. Unfortunately, the Azshara depicted here gives absolutely no indication -- aside from the assertions of Malfurion Stormrage that she had in the past done 'great things' for her people -- that she was ever actually a decent person and so depicting her as a shallow, self-centered, self-interested genocidal despot who wants her sorcerers to murder every other race in the world and the imperfect members of her own species for failing to properly reflect her personal glory comes across as incredibly flat rather than an epically tragic fall. She is also the Whore in the whole compare-and-constrast rulers thing, as she's basically depicted as governing through the expert manipulation of the gonads of her entire species. I wish I were kidding about this. I am not. Azshara, Light of Lights, Glory of Elune, etc etc etc, rules via advanced cock-teasing and the ability to make suggestions so simple any sorcerer with half a functioning brain cell should have been able to achieve the thought with ease.
...Wow this post is getting long.
More on the Twins of Doom later.
* On the other hand, I have transferred my desire to stab a character in the face at least once every two paragraphs for offenses against drama entirely to Krasus/Korialstrasz. That's some mighty convenient time-travel-scramble amnesia you've got there, dude, that lets you wangst at exhaustive length over your beloved Alexstrasza and the horrible stuff that's going to happen to her and your homeboy Malygos and how you can't tell either of them about any of it lest you alter the flow of history but not remember the circumstances surrounding Neltharion going batshit insane EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE MANIFESTLY PRESENT TO EXPERIENCE THOSE EVENTS FIRST HAND. BECAUSE YOU'RE A DRAGON. A 10,000+ YEAR OLD DRAGON. WHO PERSONALLY WITNESSED NELTHARION GOING BATSHIT INSANE. And then you wangst at exhaustive length about how, even if you COULD remember how and when and why Neltharion goes batshit, you couldn't do anything about it because that would also change the course of history -- though that doesn't actually stop you from attempting to change the course of history. Krasus, my friend, you are a hot mess but at least you're a hot mess whose sections are among the best written in the whole book thus far, and so I do not find your wangst quite as annoying as Rhonin's. I do, however, totally blame you for the Sunwell Trilogy. Just warning you in advance.
* That being said, I found it quite refreshing to see someone, specifically Krasus, admitting out loud that the dragons in general have kinda fallen down on the job of actually effectively warding the world. That was rather endearing and almost made up for three chapters of "Oh, noes! I cannot tell my beloved of the forthcoming crap lest I invalidate the future from which I come! Oh, noes! Even if I sit on my ass and do nothing the Aspects may find they have to destroy Rhonin and I because we're temporal anomalies! Meanwhile, I will be intensely jealous of my younger self for my ability to be intimate with my own mate!"
...Okay, maybe admitting that dragons have tended to be a bunch of ineffective screw-ups except when it comes to damage-mitigation really didn't make up for that.
* That being said...Okay, look, I've got no problem with the Kaldorei of this era being a bunch of assholes. Lore generally indicates that, at this point in their history, they were a bunch of assholes and so having them conducting experiments into mastering the full powers of the Well of Eternity specifically for the purpose of committing genocide against the "lesser" races -- and the insufficiently perfect members of their own race -- is admirably breathtaking assholery most high. No, my problem is not with the rat bastardy. It's with the utter, rock-chewing stupidity they seem to practice as a racial passive trait in this time period. Look, it's like this: the Kaldorei have built for themselves a continent-spanning magic-powered empire that draws heavily on the energies of the Well of Eternity to keep it running. You'd fucking think that, in a culture that produces the equivalent of unskilled magical labor capable of attuning complicated ley-line manipulating magical instruments with the twist of a knob and the push of a button, that the highest orders of magic using citizens would not be fucking idiots. You would be wrong. Or at least wrong as far as this story is concerned. The Highborne are rock-chewing morons of the highest conceivable order. They are depicted as having little conceptual, theoretical understanding of the forces they command in the Well of Eternity -- please ignore the continent-spanning magical empire, of which future Quel'Thalas is but the palest shadow -- and, moreover, so easily impressed by/twisted to the will of Sargeras that they effectively possess none of the strength of mind and will that is frequently depicted as vitally necessary to successfully command magic. The implication, also reinforced by the ease with which Rhonin commands ass-whupping magic in this time period, is that the Well of Eternity doesn't require intelligence or discipline to use, only the general idea of what you want and sufficient petulant assholery that you can nag it into yielding up your desired effect. I call character assassination for the entire Kaldorei race, and believe me I never thought I'd say that.
* Speaking of characterization...Well. I'll just say it: it sucks to be a female character in this book thus far, I'll tell you that right now. You will have one or two personality characteristics assigned to you, max, and all of your dialogue and actions will revolve around those two characteristics. For example:
Vereesa Windrunner is the youngest badass sister of the wholly and utterly badass Windrunner family. She gets to be a) extremely pregnant and b) endearingly snarky about her ability to be extremely pregnant without anyone's assistance for a couple hours until a neighbor woman comes over to sit with her.
Tyrande Whisperwind, the future High Priestess of Elune and titular ruler of the Kaldorei, is intensely virtuous, intensely compassionate, and otherwise totally consumed with triangular relationship wangst, even when the relationship wangst is probably the least of the things she's got to worry about. No, seriously, when you know weird shit involving creatures you've never seen before (i.e., orcs, humans, demons) suddenly popping into existence at about the same time that weird magical shit involving prescient visions on the part of your childhood friend starts happening, your relationship issues would probably take a back seat. But not if you're Tyrande Whisperwind, and your entire purpose in the story is to act as the Virgin in a compare-and-contrast present-and-future-rulers virgin/whore dychotomy and to give Malfurion and Illidan something to fight about.
Queen Azshara is someone I came into this story with no preconceived notions about with regard to characterization. The Lore regarding her -- that she was the much-revered benevolent ruler of the Kaldorei prior to the Sundering who became abstracted from her people's needs as their culture grew more and more dependent on magic and fell from grace -- is pretty straight-forward. Unfortunately, the Azshara depicted here gives absolutely no indication -- aside from the assertions of Malfurion Stormrage that she had in the past done 'great things' for her people -- that she was ever actually a decent person and so depicting her as a shallow, self-centered, self-interested genocidal despot who wants her sorcerers to murder every other race in the world and the imperfect members of her own species for failing to properly reflect her personal glory comes across as incredibly flat rather than an epically tragic fall. She is also the Whore in the whole compare-and-constrast rulers thing, as she's basically depicted as governing through the expert manipulation of the gonads of her entire species. I wish I were kidding about this. I am not. Azshara, Light of Lights, Glory of Elune, etc etc etc, rules via advanced cock-teasing and the ability to make suggestions so simple any sorcerer with half a functioning brain cell should have been able to achieve the thought with ease.
...Wow this post is getting long.
More on the Twins of Doom later.