It's utterly shit. It's utterly shit on mouldy toast. There's no other way of looking at it and almost certainly nothing I can say that will make you feel better right now because that's what the illness is all about.
I had this with depression. "Oh you'll feel better if you get out in the fresh air and do some exercise." Right! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?? Could it possibly be because my depression has made me so agoraphobic that even looking out of the front door fills me with a yawning pit of fear and "go down the shops to get milk" may as well be "take a quick jog along the Great Wall of China"? *facepalm*
You and I both know that things will shift, seemingly by themselves and at will. I know that's sod-all consolation right now.
Indeed. "Oh, honey, just get out of the house! Go for a nice walk! Maybe something in your house is setting you off? You should work out more. Maybe you should stop eating bread. You should try this complicated yoga pose that twists you up for ten minutes. Are you taking your medications properly? Maybe you should stop taking these supplements you say have been helping you. You know, when I was like this, I just told myself to smile and walk it off because it wasn't so bad and then I felt fine. You should be fine!"
I always called mine my "magma-chamber of rage." It sat in the pit of my stomach and just waited for absolutely any provocation to explode like Mt. St. Helens, or Vesuvius, or like the super-volcano under Yosemite will one day. It all depended on the provocation. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. This rage-y feeling really blows, and not in the sexytimes kind of way. Big big hugs to you and I hope this passes sooner rather than later.
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I had this with depression. "Oh you'll feel better if you get out in the fresh air and do some exercise." Right! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?? Could it possibly be because my depression has made me so agoraphobic that even looking out of the front door fills me with a yawning pit of fear and "go down the shops to get milk" may as well be "take a quick jog along the Great Wall of China"? *facepalm*
You and I both know that things will shift, seemingly by themselves and at will. I know that's sod-all consolation right now.
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"Oh, honey, just get out of the house! Go for a nice walk! Maybe something in your house is setting you off? You should work out more. Maybe you should stop eating bread. You should try this complicated yoga pose that twists you up for ten minutes. Are you taking your medications properly? Maybe you should stop taking these supplements you say have been helping you. You know, when I was like this, I just told myself to smile and walk it off because it wasn't so bad and then I felt fine. You should be fine!"
STAB STAB STABBITY STAB.
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