Damn Good Read.

[naamah_darling]

Shakesville: Breaking the Silence: On Living Pro-Lifers' Choice for Women

I think y'all need to go read that, no matter which side of the choice line you stand on. That's the most insightful essay about choice I have read in a long time, and it's not even about abortion. It's about adoption. It's about things that nobody talks about. Namely,

Comments

[boundfate]

Thank you for linking this. I'd never even heard this side, let alone thought about it. I'll be reposting.

[dream_wind]

Recently, when some idiot pro-lifer insisted over 200 people died in the Victorian bushfires because abortion has been decriminalised in Victoria, I did some online research of my own about abortion services and abortion counselling. Many of the websites I found that were supposedly "abortion counselling" were pro-life sites masquerading as information sites, and were filled with stories supposedly written by women who'd had abortions and deeply regretted it. It took me AGES to find imnotsorry.net

[elialshadowpine]

"You know, I think even if hard-core pro-lifers read anonymous' story, it wouldn't change their stance. Because she was a slut in the first place, doncha know? Her depression was God's way of punishing her, doncha know?"

Unfortunately, I think you're right.

I would have far less issue with "pro-lifers" if they actually gave a shit about the well-being of the people they are supposedly trying to save. I don't get how you can claim to be "pro-life" and rabidly, vehemently not care about the mother's life, her quality of life, her life afterward... and never mind the baby once it's delivered and "done."

What of the children already here that are suffering? One would think if you care so much for life, you would want to protect what is already here and existing.

Of course, trying to apply logic to religious fanatics always fails. *sigh*

[dream_wind]

There is a Christian school not far from where I live that offers a programme for teenage mothers to finish their formal schooling, while teaching them about being parents as well. And no, the girls aren't charged for their education - everything comes from donations or grants. But this school is progressive, and has sex education classes, which have caused some parents to withdraw their children.

So many pro-lifers' spout the line "if you don't want to get pregnant, keep your legs closed!" As if women could never be forced/coerced by boyfriend or friends. Why is it always the woman who has to keep her legs closed, and not the man who has to keep his fly shut?

[shakatany]

Why is it always the woman who has to keep her legs closed, and not the man who has to keep his fly shut? Great line and so true.

Shakatany

[elialshadowpine]

It's a beautiful and saddening essay. Thank you for posting.

It's not often talked about, but I have thought about it. There is a bond between mother and child grown over those nine months, and most people seem to think that a mother can give up her child without any emotional consequence whatsoever. This makes no logical sense. It is a loss. It may be the best thing for both child and mother, but the mother has lost a child and she needs to process that grief.

And the overwhelming attitudes if the mother tries to reach out to her support network are gross and inappropriate. "You did the right thing" is not what she needs to hear when what she wants to do is break down and sob because she's lost something precious.

It's something I've always brought up when a friend finds out she is pregnant and wonders what she should do. People like to paint adoption as "nine months, then it's over", and it's not. It's just not.I've known some women who put their child up for adoption and never had a second thought. I've known many more that it

[kellfire]

Thank you for sharing this side of the triad. I might use it to open up a conversation with my biological mother.

There has been more than one time that I wished abortion had been a viable option for her, as the pain of being rejected by the one person who is supposed to love you unconditionally is soul breaking.

Even now, when I logically know better, the ache is there.

I knew a little bit of her side and knew she never forgot me and was grateful to have me back 22 years later, but this article is food for thought as to what she might have felt during that (and this) time.

[naamah_darling]

I got nothing but lots of hugs.

[dream_wind]

Just out of interest - I've been looking at the guestbook over on imnotsorry.net, and found several posts discussing women who've had abortions, and given kids up for adoption, and the adoption caused far more grief than the abortion did.