Doctor's Note: Two Versions

[naamah_darling]

Here you go. Ground rules for dealing with me in a medical context. Feel free to grab, edit and add to them to apply to you, and give them to your healthcare professional. If you are pretty sure your doctor is cool, or you are just a really sarcastic cutup, you can use the first one. The second might go over better, though.

Notations and

Comments

[kittyblue]

Though I have not had any (significant) problems with my medical care as yet, once I'm off Mom's insurance next year, I'm into an HMO system through work OR I'm budgeting a third of my paycheck to get the PPO option ($10 versus a basquillion... hm.) -- I am so definitely saving this for future reference, just in case.

[Though the ex-shrink I have smiled and nodded while I went into gory detail as to how I would kill fellow commuters that tailgated me. I really don't think he heard a word I said in the two years I went to him.]

And 'grats on finding a Good Doctor(tm). :)

[twistedrecesses]

I "tested" my psych, during one of my first few meetings with her. Felt her out about BDSM and related sexual practices, sexuality, what have you. Had she been judgmental in any way, I would never have gone back. The moral of the story being, push you doctors a little, to make sure they're a good fit.

[the_xtina]

The first thing I do with new therps (I've only been to two) is tell them that I'm bi, poly, and an atheist.  I don't want judgments, and I don't want to be their teacher in these areas.  (As in, providing info is fine, focusing on teaching them is not.)

[naamah_darling]

I cannot second this advice ENOUGH. To anyone reading, PLEASE do not ignore this advice and learn the need for it the hard way. You're hiring someone for a job, not trying to make friends. Don't be afraid to brutally weed out the people you don't think can handle the work you need them to do.

Arrrgh!

I may quote you on this in a future post, if I make one, if that'd be all right.

[afalauabrain]

Hilarious! I love it :)

Have you had past issues with Doctors to make you write this letter? If so, I am amazed! You poor thing!

[naamah_darling]

Go back several entries for the full tale of woe, and one or two back from that for everyone ELSE's tales of woe.

Suffice it to say, I've had more than enough fuckery to last me the rest of my days, and if I've seen the last crazy gynecologist in my life, well, I could not be happier.

[pandoradeloeste]

Permission to use this in class? (I'm taking a class on problems in American health care, and this is a good example of a basic - and funny - patient's bill of rights.)

[ex_lark_asc]

Totally off topic - that's a fantastic userpic.

[muppetk]

It was a fantastic speech by Joss Whedon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYaczoJMRhs

[naamah_darling]

By all means, use away! If you get any good reactions, be sure to share!

[wetdryvac]

*thinks about it*

Right. In both seriousness and farce, I do believe I need to do up a wetdryvac variant of this. It's that or the next doc who suggests gender based decisions without actual scientific backing gets set on fire.

*grins*

So many doctors would be rendered so much more effective through the application of small personal fires and Bactine.

[naamah_darling]

My dad had this thing he used to do with a squeeze bottle of lighter fluid and a match. He could shoot jets of flame with pinpoint accuracy up to about 20 feet. He mostly used it on wasp's nests and bagworm colonies, but I keep thinking there's a more practical real-world application for this mini-flamethrower.

[rikibeth]

I would be absolutely terrified of backflow -- squeezing the bottle, creating a partial vacuum, and the flame rushes back up the stream and makes the bottle explode in your hand.

Dorothy Allison has a true-life story of this happening with a can of lighter fluid in "Trash," and adopted a slightly fictionalized version of it happening in "Bastard Out of Carolina."

I am very glad your dad never got burnt up.

[copperwise]

You are beautiful and brilliant and considering how many people had previously said "oh you should check out her LJ" I am utterly despondent at how long it actually took me to do it. Imagine what I missed out on. You're on my hero list.

[naamah_darling]

YAY!

And thank you! I enjoy reading you a great deal.