Comments | naamah_darling: No, Trust Me, It's a Good Thing.

naamah_darling

No, Trust Me, It's a Good Thing.

Jun 08, 2006 04:15

I should be sleeping. Right? Sleeping? Isn't that what people do when it's 4:30 a.m. and they have shit to do the next day like, oh, give blood and see friends and do art show stuff and paint and write and buy flea treatment for the mammals and feed snakes and . . . and . . . and ( Read more... )

philosophical, grandparents, birthday, mathurin, panic attacks, panic, cats, grief

Comments 53

dubbage42 June 8 2006, 11:19:26 UTC

What you said about nursing homes and our aged population - I couldn't agree more. In this society it's all about the "life at any cost" rather than "life (or even death) with dignity".

From what you have told us about Mathurin, he will probably be a much happier kitty as an only kitty and your life will be a tad less stressful. Good news all around.

Besides - now you will have a kitty you have to go visit as often as you can, right? (sometimes I find it easier to go visit kitties than to go visit people)

Hopefully, right now you are having a nice sleeptime - dreaming of sexy men and women doing naughty things with you. ;)

Deb

naamah_darling June 8 2006, 17:39:38 UTC

>>(sometimes I find it easier to go visit kitties than to go visit people)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. If I'm happy to see your pets, I'm happy to see you, even if I'm not being demonstrative. I'm weird that way.

edwarddain June 8 2006, 11:36:32 UTC

sekhmetdancing just discovered that book as well - and loves it also.

Take care hon.

naamah_darling June 8 2006, 17:41:20 UTC

Thank you.

It's a really cool book, and while yes, it's more touchy-feely than I generally tolerate, it explains so much about me and other people I know (starting with Sargon).

edwarddain June 8 2006, 20:23:03 UTC

I haven't actually read it yet. sekhmetdancing and I agree that I'm not one - but she actually went out and bought a compression vest already and loves it!

morigaintabitha June 8 2006, 12:07:17 UTC

Thank you for posting that link...I took the "quiz" and my goodness I never thought I was that sensitive. I just thought that the rest of the world was cold and jaded...Hmmm. I will be looking into purchasing that book. Thank you again, and take care of yourself.

naamah_darling June 8 2006, 17:42:33 UTC

No problem. I thought the same thing. That I was just fucked up because I can't take the world's stupid crap. Turns out that it's just a perfectly natural thing, a gift, that can be worked around when it causes us trouble but is otherwise mostly an asset.

lilerthkwake June 8 2006, 12:36:20 UTC

I can't change what I am. I can at least understand it.

I think that's a realization that we all need to come to.

It sounds like your thoughts are circling deep inside of you, and that a great deal of good is coming out. I like hearing this sort of hope in your "voice". I'm sorry, though, so sorry about your grandad. I'm not sorry he's old or that he's close to death, because I'm the same way you are. If someone's lived a long and fruitful life, let them go. Don't hold on to them when they're just a shadow of their former selves. But I'm sorry that he's so frustrated about being there, and that your family's having to deal with the stress and fear and sadness.

Thanks for the book recommendation. I'm not sure how much it applies to me, but just the few words you've written about it makes me feel that it applies very much to my best friend. She's always been a very private person, and I think it stresses her sometimes to feel so "different".

Hope you continue to look up. *hugs*

naamah_darling June 8 2006, 17:45:11 UTC

Thank you. It helps to hear I'm not alone in the whole not-hanging-on thing. Sometimes it makes me feel . . . I don't know . . . callous? Careless? But I'm not. I just hate suffering.

lilerthkwake June 9 2006, 02:02:40 UTC

No, you're not alone. I've also wondered if I'm heartles, but I don't really think that's so. I'm sad at the thought of a young, vital person dying before they've had a chance to fully live their life. I'm sad at the thought of losing someone very special to me. But if someone is very ill and has lived a long and productive life, even if I hate to see them go, it may be better for them to do so.

dream_wind June 8 2006, 13:02:28 UTC

I need a Paid Account. I need me some more icons.

What you said about getting older is so true. WHY does society insist on keeping wrecks of bodies/minds alive? I honestly don't know how nursing home staff do it.

And I can understand you not wanting to visit your grandfather. I hate visiting my dad. Several times over the past year and a half I have wanted him to die, and I hate myself for that.

naamah_darling June 8 2006, 17:49:58 UTC

I'm terribly sorry about your dad. It's not easy. Mostly, it's terrible and sad having to watch this sort of thing. I think sometimes it's easier to understand death than to understand people who insist on forcing others to live. It's not always a kindness.

I felt guilty for wishing my grandmother's suffering and my mother's suffering would end. I feel bad now, worse, actually, since my granddad is in better physical shape than either of them were. But the guilt passes when I reach out and don't feel them suffering anymore. I miss them, but at least the place where they were isn't full of that particular kind of pain, you know?