Mom's Box

Dec 23, 2006 13:47


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art, mother, boxes, pics, grief

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pixxelpuss December 23 2006, 21:32:51 UTC
This is beautifully written. I'm crying a little as I write this. Thank you for writing it. I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry that I don't have anything more meaningful or original to say. But I hope when I'm gone that people have the courage and strength to remember me as I was and not to resort to the acceptable cliches of grieving that sound wonderful and describe nobody accurately. I think that's better.

I don't want to buy into the cultural myth of good mothers and bad mothers, I'd rather be the human being I am, and be remembered as the human being I was. It means more.

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naamah_darling December 24 2006, 22:22:31 UTC
God damn, do I ever hear you!

I love my mother more as a human than I ever did as my mother. And trying to plaster over rough edges . . . well, a little of that is important, and it's expected. It's easier to forgive the dead for their little trespasses. But wholesale revision of the truth to exclude anything difficult or negative is a disservice to everyone.

When I love someone, I damn well love all the crappy things about them, too. And I don't have to pretend they weren't there to be sorry they aren't here anymore.

I honestly hope someone raises a toast to my obnoxiousness once I'm gone. "Nobody," they should say "could be a furtive, lying, avoidant, bull-headed, foulmouthed, fraidy-cat, did I mention lying?, vain, boastful, pompous, aggravating pain-in-the-ass-bitch like Naamah."

I don't cultivate those things ('cept the swearing), but they're a part of me. If we're unique in our good qualities, shouldn't our unique negative ones be nodded to as well?

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