(no subject)
Title: Rock, Paper, Scissors
Fandom: Skins
Pairing: Katie/Effy
Rating: Teen, mentions of drug use, swearing, etc.
Summary: It isn't a choice at all.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins. Someone else does.
Author's Note: Eighth in a series. Comes after It's Obvious, We Could Sleep Until Morning, I Haven't Slept (in a Hundred Years), She's Not Listening, Sometimes It Is, Coercion and Take What You Want (You Can't Have What You Need). You know, I'm not sure how Katie turned into what she did from her cunty bitch character on the show and at the start of this. I mean, she still is a bit of a cunty bitch, but there's more there now. I don't know, it kind of surprised me. A bit like the end of this series. There are a lot of loose strings left over, but I think it's what is needed anyhow; a little crazy it ended up more of a whimper than a bang. LOL It's been quite a ride! Thank you to everyone that's been along for it.
There are pieces of Effy everywhere she looks. Some of it is things Effy has tucked in her locker, under her pillow, in her pocket when she wasn’t looking; most of it isn’t. Most of it is bits of everyday that have stuck; photos of them, together, are tucked everywhere. Mixes Effy made play all the time, even though she hates the songs, because -because. The smell of cigarettes and spilled drink lingers on a shirt Effy’s left behind. Effy lingers everywhere. Katie bites her lip to keep from smiling. It’s not that she hasn’t known she’s in love with her. She has, she’s not a fucking idiot.
She goes to sleep listening to Wild Thing (from one of Effy’s mixes, of course) on loop. She wakes up surrounded by bits of Effy. And sometimes, sometimes it eases the ache that’s settled in when Effy isn’t around. Sometimes it doesn’t, and Katie is the one that shows up on Effy’s doorstep unannounced and unexpected. Anthea lets her in, smiles at her, because she hasn’t seen her daughter smile so much, so quickly, as when Katie is around.
She’s fought so long, pushed and shoved and yelled and screamed and cried. She’s fucking cried her heart out. Over a girl, fucking fantastic. There’s more than just her and Effy, there’s all sorts of things looming. She’s always caved to peer pressure, tried everything once if everyone else was doing it. Effy won’t give up on her. Effy sticks around. Effy is nothing that she should want. Effy says all the wrong things. And Katie likes it.
They’re high, the spliff smoked and gone, lying in Katie’s backyard looking up at the stars. Effy laughs as Katie points out Ursa Major, she stops though; when Katie blushes, and then scowls half a second later to cover it. The quiet covers them, Katie can feel her heart slow a little when she curls into Effy; a breezy sigh escapes her lips. They have sex, often, but right now, right now they’re busy just being; she's not surprised she’s content. She’s not surprised when the warmth bubbles through her chest, when she smiles and means it.
“Why do you like me?”
It’s a throwaway question, but her breath catches in her throat. Her heart is frantic. She knows Effy is smiling.
“Silly girl.”
Katie knows not to wait for more of an answer. Her heart slows again, and she smiles too.
“Bitch.”
It’s a throwaway name. Effy smile grows exponentially, her arms tighten about Katie.
She doesn’t know how to explain it. Her mother will ask, and she doesn’t have any answers. They wandered into the forest lost, and they’ve finally found their way out of it together. It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t have to. All her boyfriends before would have answers, like her tits are great or some stupid cunty answer like that. Effy never answers questions Katie already knows the answer to. Effy doesn’t give her diamonds, she gives her mixes and names them You’re A Bad Acid Trip, or something equally cheeky and fucking smiles when Katie slaps her arm for the effort. Effy knows Katie listens to them on loop, even though she thinks the music is old and crap. Effy knows Katie likes the stars because they’re up there, untouchable and timeless and steady. Katie never says it at all, but Effy knows anyway.
It’s slow. They slow. Even in manic moments, she can feel it all slow. In the club, when Effy dances and looks at her, Katie can feel all the people around them, the thumping of the music. She looks back. Everyone is looking at Effy, but Effy only looks at her. She teases and taunts and pushes and pulls until Katie is a mess; and when they lay awake until the early morning, she whispers in Katie’s ear. And Katie can’t help it. Bit by bit, she feels herself giving in, falling apart in the best fucking ways possible.
“Is something wrong?”
It’s abrupt. It scrapes, the friction between the two parts of her life. Jenna Fitch has been suspicious, it’s worse than when Katie wasn’t sleeping. It’s like her mother’s been wondering if she hasn’t been sleeping too well, and it’s not like Katie hasn’t noticed the passive aggressive digs that get flung at Effy; her mother’s specialty. She comes up with something, but eventually it won’t be enough. Her mother doesn’t even know Elizabeth is Effy Stonem yet, and Katie can already see the wheels turning in her head. She just, she can’t let go of Effy Stonem. And god knows she’s tried. Emily is usually there when Effy isn’t, to listen; one day it won’t be enough. She can feel it; it’s not going to be pretty when that day comes.
When it happens, they’re at a club. The whole gang is there. She isn’t sure when the lines in the sand between them all were stamped out, but she’s a bit glad for it. She’s even a bit glad for Cook, even if he is a bit of a cock; and Freddie, even if he always looks sorry (more for himself than anyone or anything else, tosser). She’s on the dance floor, jumping to some god awful shit like a maniac because Effy pulls her out on the floor; she’s just tipsy enough to admit she can’t deny Effy Stonem much of anything. And what kind of stupid fuck would want to?
She’s glistening with sweat, edging closer to the girl, her girl, instinctively. Effy is smiling, brightly, widely, so not like herself; except Effy has been smiling like that more often. She leans in, yells over the music.
“Okay, we can give it a go.”
And Effy stops. Katie waits, watches; a habit she’s picked up from Effy. Effy nearly bowls her clear over when she kisses her. Everyone is watching them, Cook is practically pissing himself; Katie doesn’t notice any of it.
For once in her life, the whole world stills.
It can’t end well, she knows. You aren’t supposed to feel this fucking comfortable around girls who bludgeon you with a rock and leave you for dead. You sure as hell aren’t supposed to fall in love with them. You aren’t supposed to fall in love with Effy Stonem; she’ll slip through your fingers because she’s fucking wispy like that. You aren’t supposed to fall this far, this fast, this utterly, in love at seventeen, it can’t work. You aren’t supposed to snub your nose in the face of convention, leave yourself exposed. But she is, she has, she will.
She isn’t perfect, neither is Effy. It isn’t what she expected. It’s fucking crazy, loving Effy Stonem. And she laughs into the kiss. They aren’t what people expect, they aren’t what she expected; they work, some how, anyway.
For once in her life, if only for a moment, all the expectations (her own, other people’s) fall away.
For once in her life, Katie Fitch wins.
Fandom: Skins
Pairing: Katie/Effy
Rating: Teen, mentions of drug use, swearing, etc.
Summary: It isn't a choice at all.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins. Someone else does.
Author's Note: Eighth in a series. Comes after It's Obvious, We Could Sleep Until Morning, I Haven't Slept (in a Hundred Years), She's Not Listening, Sometimes It Is, Coercion and Take What You Want (You Can't Have What You Need). You know, I'm not sure how Katie turned into what she did from her cunty bitch character on the show and at the start of this. I mean, she still is a bit of a cunty bitch, but there's more there now. I don't know, it kind of surprised me. A bit like the end of this series. There are a lot of loose strings left over, but I think it's what is needed anyhow; a little crazy it ended up more of a whimper than a bang. LOL It's been quite a ride! Thank you to everyone that's been along for it.
There are pieces of Effy everywhere she looks. Some of it is things Effy has tucked in her locker, under her pillow, in her pocket when she wasn’t looking; most of it isn’t. Most of it is bits of everyday that have stuck; photos of them, together, are tucked everywhere. Mixes Effy made play all the time, even though she hates the songs, because -because. The smell of cigarettes and spilled drink lingers on a shirt Effy’s left behind. Effy lingers everywhere. Katie bites her lip to keep from smiling. It’s not that she hasn’t known she’s in love with her. She has, she’s not a fucking idiot.
She goes to sleep listening to Wild Thing (from one of Effy’s mixes, of course) on loop. She wakes up surrounded by bits of Effy. And sometimes, sometimes it eases the ache that’s settled in when Effy isn’t around. Sometimes it doesn’t, and Katie is the one that shows up on Effy’s doorstep unannounced and unexpected. Anthea lets her in, smiles at her, because she hasn’t seen her daughter smile so much, so quickly, as when Katie is around.
She’s fought so long, pushed and shoved and yelled and screamed and cried. She’s fucking cried her heart out. Over a girl, fucking fantastic. There’s more than just her and Effy, there’s all sorts of things looming. She’s always caved to peer pressure, tried everything once if everyone else was doing it. Effy won’t give up on her. Effy sticks around. Effy is nothing that she should want. Effy says all the wrong things. And Katie likes it.
They’re high, the spliff smoked and gone, lying in Katie’s backyard looking up at the stars. Effy laughs as Katie points out Ursa Major, she stops though; when Katie blushes, and then scowls half a second later to cover it. The quiet covers them, Katie can feel her heart slow a little when she curls into Effy; a breezy sigh escapes her lips. They have sex, often, but right now, right now they’re busy just being; she's not surprised she’s content. She’s not surprised when the warmth bubbles through her chest, when she smiles and means it.
“Why do you like me?”
It’s a throwaway question, but her breath catches in her throat. Her heart is frantic. She knows Effy is smiling.
“Silly girl.”
Katie knows not to wait for more of an answer. Her heart slows again, and she smiles too.
“Bitch.”
It’s a throwaway name. Effy smile grows exponentially, her arms tighten about Katie.
She doesn’t know how to explain it. Her mother will ask, and she doesn’t have any answers. They wandered into the forest lost, and they’ve finally found their way out of it together. It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t have to. All her boyfriends before would have answers, like her tits are great or some stupid cunty answer like that. Effy never answers questions Katie already knows the answer to. Effy doesn’t give her diamonds, she gives her mixes and names them You’re A Bad Acid Trip, or something equally cheeky and fucking smiles when Katie slaps her arm for the effort. Effy knows Katie listens to them on loop, even though she thinks the music is old and crap. Effy knows Katie likes the stars because they’re up there, untouchable and timeless and steady. Katie never says it at all, but Effy knows anyway.
It’s slow. They slow. Even in manic moments, she can feel it all slow. In the club, when Effy dances and looks at her, Katie can feel all the people around them, the thumping of the music. She looks back. Everyone is looking at Effy, but Effy only looks at her. She teases and taunts and pushes and pulls until Katie is a mess; and when they lay awake until the early morning, she whispers in Katie’s ear. And Katie can’t help it. Bit by bit, she feels herself giving in, falling apart in the best fucking ways possible.
“Is something wrong?”
It’s abrupt. It scrapes, the friction between the two parts of her life. Jenna Fitch has been suspicious, it’s worse than when Katie wasn’t sleeping. It’s like her mother’s been wondering if she hasn’t been sleeping too well, and it’s not like Katie hasn’t noticed the passive aggressive digs that get flung at Effy; her mother’s specialty. She comes up with something, but eventually it won’t be enough. Her mother doesn’t even know Elizabeth is Effy Stonem yet, and Katie can already see the wheels turning in her head. She just, she can’t let go of Effy Stonem. And god knows she’s tried. Emily is usually there when Effy isn’t, to listen; one day it won’t be enough. She can feel it; it’s not going to be pretty when that day comes.
When it happens, they’re at a club. The whole gang is there. She isn’t sure when the lines in the sand between them all were stamped out, but she’s a bit glad for it. She’s even a bit glad for Cook, even if he is a bit of a cock; and Freddie, even if he always looks sorry (more for himself than anyone or anything else, tosser). She’s on the dance floor, jumping to some god awful shit like a maniac because Effy pulls her out on the floor; she’s just tipsy enough to admit she can’t deny Effy Stonem much of anything. And what kind of stupid fuck would want to?
She’s glistening with sweat, edging closer to the girl, her girl, instinctively. Effy is smiling, brightly, widely, so not like herself; except Effy has been smiling like that more often. She leans in, yells over the music.
“Okay, we can give it a go.”
And Effy stops. Katie waits, watches; a habit she’s picked up from Effy. Effy nearly bowls her clear over when she kisses her. Everyone is watching them, Cook is practically pissing himself; Katie doesn’t notice any of it.
For once in her life, the whole world stills.
It can’t end well, she knows. You aren’t supposed to feel this fucking comfortable around girls who bludgeon you with a rock and leave you for dead. You sure as hell aren’t supposed to fall in love with them. You aren’t supposed to fall in love with Effy Stonem; she’ll slip through your fingers because she’s fucking wispy like that. You aren’t supposed to fall this far, this fast, this utterly, in love at seventeen, it can’t work. You aren’t supposed to snub your nose in the face of convention, leave yourself exposed. But she is, she has, she will.
She isn’t perfect, neither is Effy. It isn’t what she expected. It’s fucking crazy, loving Effy Stonem. And she laughs into the kiss. They aren’t what people expect, they aren’t what she expected; they work, some how, anyway.
For once in her life, if only for a moment, all the expectations (her own, other people’s) fall away.
For once in her life, Katie Fitch wins.