i was trying to be cool and creative by writing a poem to describe how crappy i am feeling, but i feel so numb that my verses where shitty. i read through so many livejournal entries and so many of you are feeling like i do, we should throw a party. think about it, wallowing tortured wounded low self-esteem ridden excrement of the cosmic joke known ( Read more... )

sometimes when i wake up in the morning i remember how much i love him, and i cry. but then i make my smile, make myself some coffee, have a cigarette, and keep on living with a smile on my face.

deo
nicki

sorry i haven't updated in so long folks. but i've been living life like it's going out of style. see friends, using substances, going on adventures, experiencing sweet freedom. i'm excited about meeting pete on thursday, the guy for whom i am going to model. and let's see, what else? ...i have a squeeje now. never had one of those before. it's ( Read more... )

yay! i'm in novi now! all my stuff is moved in but not set up yet. i do have a bed finally and my computer. sweet. i'm gonna have to spend my first night in the apartment alone b/c my mom is going out partying. i tried to guilt travis into staying over but his will was too strong for my begging. does anyone else feel like coming over and keeping me ( Read more... )

i just watched dr.strangelove for the first time. it was fucking hilarious and fucking depressing. stanley kubric was a mad genius and peter sellers was incredible! i'm going to have to ponder the title for a while, what exactly was dr.strangelove's part in the whole nuclear fiasco? i dunno, y'all just have to go watch it. if you've seen it, see it ( Read more... )

i can't wait to move to novi. i can imagine it now, living in civilization again, amongst ppl, and commerce, and away from dirt roads! oh saturday, my holy day of moving!

deo
nicki

life aint like a box of chocolates...fuck you, forest...

deo
nicki

well, i haven't been doing much lately. in the past two weeks the only things of importance that i did was participate in the aids walk and go see shark tale. shark tale is awesome movie, y'all gotta go see it. angelina jolie is still sexy even as a fish ( Read more... )

so today i ran into this guy whom many of you have heard me bitch about before. he harrassed and tormented me from 4th to 8th grade. this bastard hurt me so much in school, he was one of the reasons i left public school. as cool as i am, i was never able to let go of my anger over how relentlessly he attacked me. i haven't seen him in 5 years, but ( Read more... )

i had a wonderful day at church. i got to play with the little kids in religious education and tried to talk to the bigger kids, but they all think i'm a loser :P

i spent the rest of the day relaxing at home, so nice...

can't wait to play with travis at ccs tomorrow!

deo
nicki