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CHARACTERS: Pheme (scandalmaker) & Agravaine (nevermercy)
DATE/TIME: Friday morning
LOCATION: The apartment
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Uh, Agravaine. Mentions of violence. Potty mouths.
SUMMARY: A little fireball comes blasting through the door.
By the time she was dropped off at home Pheme had gone from outright fuming to just plain angry. How dare Ares not even have the courtesy to see her out himself. Was her punch that painful to him? If so, that was utterly hilarious, and she couldn't wait to tell everyone. She had made the god of war bleed, and for a damn good reason. Maybe if he hadn't been flapping his jaw so hard about her uncle he'd have realized that upsetting the goddess of rumour and report just wasn't a good idea.
Making her way up to the apartment, stomping the whole while, she let herself in and slammed the door. Dropping her backpack on the floor, she looked down at her fist. She expected it to hurt more after what she did, but maybe her adrenaline hadn't worn off yet. "Uncle Vaine, you here?" Pheme called out as she went into the kitchen. She needed a drink, and a sandwich. And to plot making Ares' life a living hell.
Whatever the hell time it was, Agravaine knew for a fact that the door was not supposed to be slamming for any reason except himself leaving. When a voice came subsequently that could only belong to his tater tot niece, the knight did the following: nothing. He remained in the kitchen in nothing but black sleeping pants, a mug of coffee with rum at his lips.
After swallowing, he gave her a look that was neither angry or amused, continuing to lean his back into the counter. He had, after all, only woken up an hour ago. "Don't tell me school was cancelled; I'm not gonna believe you." Any customary nickname was left off; it was too early for his brain to function without alcohol or caffeine -- or both in this case.
Jumping when she realized her uncle was in the kitchen, Pheme recovered quickly although she knew the damage had been done. Neither of them had been expecting to see the other, obviously, but she was still riding high on her power trip and could only glare at his comments about her not being in school.
Opening the pantry she pulled out the bread and peanut butter, grabbing a knife while answering him. "I skipped, had shit to do." She didn't care if he believed her or not, she had more pressing issues on her mind. "I had to prove to Ares I was smarter than him, but he was an ass so I decked him." Assembling her sandwich, she took a bite.
To be perfectly honest, there were better things for Agravaine to worry about than her not attending school. It'd be hypocritical of him to do so anyway; his attendance record in high school was horrific.
Her admission had him pausing, coffee mug held up in the air. "You decked Ares." The mug found itself down on the counter. "How the fuck did you deck Ares, stand on two stools?" The 'why' and 'when' also came to mind, but were less important than the 'how'.
If he had been worried about her academic career Pheme might have been touched, though she figured he didn't care about much of anything unless it involved him. That was fine with her, so long as she had a place to live.
His sarcastic remark about her smaller stature didn't phase her, from him it was acceptable. "That's what I said." She grabbed a drink from the fridge, taking a sip. "He was sitting down runnin' his mouth 'bout you being a pussy, so I popped him one."
That admission had Agravaine's eyes hardening, the hatred boiling inside already. "I don't know what his damn problem is, but this obsession with me is fucking creepy," he snapped, turning to face his coffee with his back to the small blonde.
A sip was taken, but he didn't face around once more. "But that doesn't mean I don't owe him a smackdown."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Pheme answered with a snort, shaking her head. "He just wouldn't shut up about how he thinks you're too scared to fight him and mistreat women, so I made him," she continued, the annoyance clear in her voice.
Pulling herself up to sit on the counter, she took another bite of her sandwich. "He had his bouncer kick me out after I made him bleed."
But while that might have been good news to hear, the knight was entirely focused on the first part. He downed a long sip of his coffee, which was nearing halfway done, and shoved the mug across the counter in front of him.
"What the big deal with him and hitting women? I don't go around slugging them like it's a hobby, but he's a fucking god of war. He's fucking soft." And entirely too concerned with Agravaine. If he was going to dent Ares' face in, he'd do it on his own time.
There was more to this situation than it seemed, and the goddess was definitely interested in what the story was. She wasn't going to ask about it though, aware that while he was tolerating her presence they weren't exactly close.
"Fucked if I know, the Ares I remember would hit anyone who did something to deserve it. And I ain't judgin' you 'cause I dunno the situation, maybe you hit someone and they had it comin'." Much like Ares had it coming when she hit him.
Following a derisive snort, Agravaine faced Pheme once again. "She was running her damn mouth and wouldn't shut the fuck up. Wasn't myself, so I hit her. She was a mutual acquaintance." Which was code for they'd fucked, but that was a bit too much info for the kid.
"He found out. And he found me." It had been a while since he'd talked about what had happened all those months ago with anyone who hadn't been his family. Had he ever told anyone?
Straightening up when he face her, Pheme was slightly amazed Agravaine felt the need to explain. "Makes sense to me." She didn't bother asking about that last part, she had an idea of what he meant. "So, she was like your Barbie, you're sayin'?" Yeah, she went there.
"Wait, so he got all up in your business? And now he's talkin' like you're the bitch?" It seemed, in her esteemed opinion, that Ares was in need of more than just her fist meeting his face.
Oh, and now Iseult had come up. Great. "She was nothing like Barbie," he gruffly corrected her. "And if you consider dragging me into an alleyway, fracturing my ribcage and leaving me with a concussion him getting 'all up in my business', fuckin' sure, he got all up in it."
Remembering what Mordred had said about using Pheme against Ares, Agravaine made sure not to play too much of a pity card. This was about turning a daughter against her father, not him getting sympathy pats.
It wasn't like Pheme was judging Iseult as a person, she'd only brought the other blonde up as an example. "Oh, I thought mutual acquaintance meant y'all were fuckin', sorry." Her jaw dropped at that last part, that sounded way hardcore.
Openly staring at his bare stomach, as if attempting to use x-ray vision to see the broken ribs, she gasped softly. "Are you sayin' he jumped you, like it wasn't even a fair fight? What a douche!"
Not going as planned so far. Her first part was ignored, because as usual she'd hit the nail on the head, and so Agravaine tended to the second. "I'm saying he dragged me into an alleyway, but it sure as fuck was a fair fight. I've been in enough fights in my life to take down a fucker like him, but he had the advantage with the first ten seconds."
A knight versus a god of war. Poetic.
She caught on to his ignoring her comment about Iseult and filed that bit of info away for future use, not that she cared who her uncle screwed so long as it didn't disturb her, but it was still good to know. "Okay, so he dragged you into an alleyway and kicked your ass like you owed him money, and now he wants to fight you again?"
It was kinda cute how the knight assumed he could take out a god, and Pheme could almost see how Agravaine could believe he had a chance. He was about as vicious as they came, from what she knew of him.
"He cracked my ribs like I'd fucked his wife, not hit a girl we both knew," Agravaine corrected her, tasting the rum at the back of his throat. His arrogance knew no bounds, and so he did feel he could take on the god with an equal chance of winning. But he wasn't going to do it in the ring; that was too much of an advantage, and Ares would get more cocky than usual, which happened to be fucking annoying. Mordred's cocky he could tolerate; Ares was just a moron.
"He wants to fight me again because he's fist happy, kiddo. That's all there is to him. He's Ares, the god of war, not god of chivalry. Bet he wanted to hit Athena in the face a couple times back in the day."
"That sounds so random, maybe he fucked her too. He was kinda the jealous type way back when," Pheme mentioned casually, thinking back over what she remembered of the god. Back in the day, she had been in the position to know more about the Olympians than they ever would have assumed, but considering who she was they shouldn't have been surprised. That those old secrets might potentially help her uncle get the drop on the smug douchebag club owner now was like divine retribution in her eyes.
"Oh, he did. In fact, I'm amazed the two of them didn't have any epic clashes that weren't carried out through mortals who worshipped them. Maybe Zeus was afraid they'd wreck Mount Olympus if they went at it."
That drew a low laugh out of Agravaine, who'd been in the process of setting down his mug once again. "Like two kids ruining everybody else's fun. Fucking hell." It was true that he wouldn't have minded more info on Ares from during his time, and briefly he entertained the thought of the man sitting down and researching Agravaine. He might've even Googled himself, seeing what sorts of things popped up.
And it only made him laugh more. What a fucking tool.
The laughter from him was unexpected, but Pheme liked hearing it. She was so used to him acting angry or grumpy that she had no idea it was even possible for him to laugh. Now that she knew he could, she hoped she would hear it more often. "Well, Ares was one of the only children of Hera and Zeus, but his daddy liked Athena better 'cause she was smarter." Goddess of wisdom, and all.
"Besides, I can't think two gods of war fightin' is good for anyone, unless they took each other out."
"Yeah, don't think anything of value would be lost there," the knight announced, pushing off from the counter to approach the cupboard over the toaster. The only regret Agravaine would have was not being able to do it himself. But right now, there was only one person he really wanted to take out, and he'd fallen off the radar.
Ares needed a fist in the eye, and Gaheris needed his own head on a plate. Which should've come first?
"Seriously," the goddess agreed, the urge to say more overwhelming. "I would pay to see someone kick Ares' ass, who does he think he is talkin' 'bout you like he knows you and callin' me little one and tellin' me what to do like he's my daddy or somethin'? Someone needs to put him in his place. Where's Aphrodite when I need her?"
If there was anyone who could stomp all over Ares' manparts, it was Aphrodite. "Anyway, he ain't worth your time."
Some very deep part of Agravaine was slightly touched that he was being defended by a preteen. She had only known him for a short while, which meant she either genuinely liked him or was an idiot. Unsure which to lean toward, he snorted after dropping two bagel halves into the toaster.
Dark eyes traveled over to the seated goddess, and using the retrieval of his coffee as an excuse to come closer, he padded past, not before flicking her lightly in the forehead.
"Thanks, shrimp."
And he meant it.
The silence that seemed to fall over Pheme after his thanks was both uncharacteristic and ripe with unspoken words. So stunned by the gesture he had made, although the flick to her forehead did sting slightly, she had no idea how to react.
"Yeah, well, no problem. Blood before pantheons, or something." It was the only thing she could think of to say in response, as if wanting to assure him that family came first.
"I never liked Ares much anyway, always too big for his britches."
She waited until he wasn't looking to rub her forehead.
"That's because he's a fucking douche with the personality of a door knob." Among other things that Agravaine had decided not to add. No sense letting her know just how much he hated the existence of the other man, because he despised being the weaker one. One day, he'd hit Ares' nose back into his skull and not feel a damn ounce of regret.
Following a sip of coffee, he finally tacked on: "How much did you make him bleed?"
"Now that just ain't fair to door knobs, some of those got great personalities." Giggling at the image that brought to mind Pheme glanced over at her uncle. "I rocked him good, more than he expected." Which wasn't saying much when you took into account that she wasn't the most intimidating of physical specimens.
"He swore, was holding his jaw, and spit out some blood. No teeth, though."
Unfortunate that Agravaine couldn't have been there to see it, because it sounded fucking hilarious. While hypocritical to want to laugh at someone who'd been hit by a young girl, when the punch had happened because he was being defended, still the urge remained, and he offered a dark, lopsided smirk.
"Next time if you get the chance, hit the fucker harder."
Any hint of worry that Pheme had been harboring over whether or not her uncle would approve of her actions vanished at his words. Shaking her head, she snorted as a wide smile spread over her face. Had she told her mama or step-father that she punched someone, an adult even, they would have reamed her out, so Agravaine's approval meant a lot to her.
"If I do get the chance I will, but he kicked me out and told me never to come back."
Eventually the bagels popped up in the toaster, but no move was made to retrieve them just yet. Instead, the tall knight finished off his coffee, the mug making a loud scrape across the counter. He raised both eyebrows.
"Then I'll have to knock out his teeth for myself, won't I?" he offered, already know the answer that that one.
Of all the thing that she would have expected him to say, that was not among them. In fact, it wasn't even in the same vicinity. The goddess leaned forward, shock visible in her eyes as she blinked at what her uncle had just said.
"That. Would be epic." she exclaimed, her voice barely above a whisper. "Could I videotape that for my blog page?"
"How 'bout you videotape that shit for you and me," he reasoned instead. "And for him when I decide to show him just how much of a fucking tool he is." Having a video like that posted in public wouldn't go so well for his job, or for his relationship with his family. If they or his sister found out, that wouldn't bode too well.
But it wasn't like he gave a shit what they thought of him; it's what they did instead of what they thought.
"You mean like not share it with everyone?" she asked, disbelief ringing clear in her voice. "I guess I could do that, but wouldn't you want everyone to know you knocked the fucker out?" It was just plain weird to her that he would object to the video being out there for everyone to see, but he was the adult here and she would do well to listen to him.
"If it was me making him cough up his own teeth I'd be showin' that to everyone and their mama's so they all knew not to mess with me."
No one had to be smart to know the two of them were very different in many ways: for one, Agravaine knew at least a little bit of tact when it came to beating the shit out of someone. He wasn't just some brute like Ares, whose intelligence seemed to end at his fists. The knight crossed the kitchen, snagging the bagel slices.
"There're only two people I'd wanna show, but I'm not gonna showcase it to the fucking world. Provided you're even there, kiddo." Because there was a chance she wouldn't be, in which case talking about recording anything was more or less pointless.
It was odd for her to consider that he only had a few people who he would want to show off to, but it said a lot for his character. Pheme was so used to dealing with people who took such pride in their accomplishments that they wanted everyone to know about them, and hadn't thought that there were people out there who might not feel the same.
"If I wasn't there would you tell me about it, or am I not one of the people you'd want to show?" It was an important question to her, since her immediate instinct was to rush home and tell him despite bring unsure if he would care or not.
As far as his pride was concerned, Agravaine only felt the need to prove himself to a handful of people: Gawain, his father, his uncle on occasion. Everyone else was far from important. Mordred, of course, was someone he considered as close to an equal as anyone had ever been, and so he didn't qualify as someone who he needed to be proud of him.
He set to the task of yanking the fridge open and fetching the butter, speaking as he went. "Sure I'd tell you about it. And I'd leave out all the fucking juicy details just to piss you off."
When it came to pride Pheme had quite a bit of it although that didn't stop her from wanting approval. Since Agravaine was the person currently in charge of her well-being, that meant she looked to him for validation that she wasn't completely worthless. He may not know it, but he held the distinction of being the most important person in her little world, since he held her life in his hands.
She kicked her legs as she watched him, a look of pure indignation crossing her face at what he said. "That's so mean! Why would you do that to me? What have I ever done to you?"
In return, not a single shred of emotion passed over his face at her exclamation as he buttered his bagel in silence. Abandoning the toaster with both halves in hand, he held up one half, but spoke before biting into it.
"Exist," he countered in good humor, moving past her to exit the kitchen.
Her entire face seemed to fall at first, reflecting the fact that she wasn't sure if his response was serious or a joke. Staring down at her now stilled legs, she waited until he left the kitchen to come up with a response.
"Well boo fuckin' hoo, 'cause I ain't goin' nowhere," she called out, jumping down to follow him.
DATE/TIME: Friday morning
LOCATION: The apartment
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Uh, Agravaine. Mentions of violence. Potty mouths.
SUMMARY: A little fireball comes blasting through the door.
By the time she was dropped off at home Pheme had gone from outright fuming to just plain angry. How dare Ares not even have the courtesy to see her out himself. Was her punch that painful to him? If so, that was utterly hilarious, and she couldn't wait to tell everyone. She had made the god of war bleed, and for a damn good reason. Maybe if he hadn't been flapping his jaw so hard about her uncle he'd have realized that upsetting the goddess of rumour and report just wasn't a good idea.
Making her way up to the apartment, stomping the whole while, she let herself in and slammed the door. Dropping her backpack on the floor, she looked down at her fist. She expected it to hurt more after what she did, but maybe her adrenaline hadn't worn off yet. "Uncle Vaine, you here?" Pheme called out as she went into the kitchen. She needed a drink, and a sandwich. And to plot making Ares' life a living hell.
Whatever the hell time it was, Agravaine knew for a fact that the door was not supposed to be slamming for any reason except himself leaving. When a voice came subsequently that could only belong to his tater tot niece, the knight did the following: nothing. He remained in the kitchen in nothing but black sleeping pants, a mug of coffee with rum at his lips.
After swallowing, he gave her a look that was neither angry or amused, continuing to lean his back into the counter. He had, after all, only woken up an hour ago. "Don't tell me school was cancelled; I'm not gonna believe you." Any customary nickname was left off; it was too early for his brain to function without alcohol or caffeine -- or both in this case.
Jumping when she realized her uncle was in the kitchen, Pheme recovered quickly although she knew the damage had been done. Neither of them had been expecting to see the other, obviously, but she was still riding high on her power trip and could only glare at his comments about her not being in school.
Opening the pantry she pulled out the bread and peanut butter, grabbing a knife while answering him. "I skipped, had shit to do." She didn't care if he believed her or not, she had more pressing issues on her mind. "I had to prove to Ares I was smarter than him, but he was an ass so I decked him." Assembling her sandwich, she took a bite.
To be perfectly honest, there were better things for Agravaine to worry about than her not attending school. It'd be hypocritical of him to do so anyway; his attendance record in high school was horrific.
Her admission had him pausing, coffee mug held up in the air. "You decked Ares." The mug found itself down on the counter. "How the fuck did you deck Ares, stand on two stools?" The 'why' and 'when' also came to mind, but were less important than the 'how'.
If he had been worried about her academic career Pheme might have been touched, though she figured he didn't care about much of anything unless it involved him. That was fine with her, so long as she had a place to live.
His sarcastic remark about her smaller stature didn't phase her, from him it was acceptable. "That's what I said." She grabbed a drink from the fridge, taking a sip. "He was sitting down runnin' his mouth 'bout you being a pussy, so I popped him one."
That admission had Agravaine's eyes hardening, the hatred boiling inside already. "I don't know what his damn problem is, but this obsession with me is fucking creepy," he snapped, turning to face his coffee with his back to the small blonde.
A sip was taken, but he didn't face around once more. "But that doesn't mean I don't owe him a smackdown."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Pheme answered with a snort, shaking her head. "He just wouldn't shut up about how he thinks you're too scared to fight him and mistreat women, so I made him," she continued, the annoyance clear in her voice.
Pulling herself up to sit on the counter, she took another bite of her sandwich. "He had his bouncer kick me out after I made him bleed."
But while that might have been good news to hear, the knight was entirely focused on the first part. He downed a long sip of his coffee, which was nearing halfway done, and shoved the mug across the counter in front of him.
"What the big deal with him and hitting women? I don't go around slugging them like it's a hobby, but he's a fucking god of war. He's fucking soft." And entirely too concerned with Agravaine. If he was going to dent Ares' face in, he'd do it on his own time.
There was more to this situation than it seemed, and the goddess was definitely interested in what the story was. She wasn't going to ask about it though, aware that while he was tolerating her presence they weren't exactly close.
"Fucked if I know, the Ares I remember would hit anyone who did something to deserve it. And I ain't judgin' you 'cause I dunno the situation, maybe you hit someone and they had it comin'." Much like Ares had it coming when she hit him.
Following a derisive snort, Agravaine faced Pheme once again. "She was running her damn mouth and wouldn't shut the fuck up. Wasn't myself, so I hit her. She was a mutual acquaintance." Which was code for they'd fucked, but that was a bit too much info for the kid.
"He found out. And he found me." It had been a while since he'd talked about what had happened all those months ago with anyone who hadn't been his family. Had he ever told anyone?
Straightening up when he face her, Pheme was slightly amazed Agravaine felt the need to explain. "Makes sense to me." She didn't bother asking about that last part, she had an idea of what he meant. "So, she was like your Barbie, you're sayin'?" Yeah, she went there.
"Wait, so he got all up in your business? And now he's talkin' like you're the bitch?" It seemed, in her esteemed opinion, that Ares was in need of more than just her fist meeting his face.
Oh, and now Iseult had come up. Great. "She was nothing like Barbie," he gruffly corrected her. "And if you consider dragging me into an alleyway, fracturing my ribcage and leaving me with a concussion him getting 'all up in my business', fuckin' sure, he got all up in it."
Remembering what Mordred had said about using Pheme against Ares, Agravaine made sure not to play too much of a pity card. This was about turning a daughter against her father, not him getting sympathy pats.
It wasn't like Pheme was judging Iseult as a person, she'd only brought the other blonde up as an example. "Oh, I thought mutual acquaintance meant y'all were fuckin', sorry." Her jaw dropped at that last part, that sounded way hardcore.
Openly staring at his bare stomach, as if attempting to use x-ray vision to see the broken ribs, she gasped softly. "Are you sayin' he jumped you, like it wasn't even a fair fight? What a douche!"
Not going as planned so far. Her first part was ignored, because as usual she'd hit the nail on the head, and so Agravaine tended to the second. "I'm saying he dragged me into an alleyway, but it sure as fuck was a fair fight. I've been in enough fights in my life to take down a fucker like him, but he had the advantage with the first ten seconds."
A knight versus a god of war. Poetic.
She caught on to his ignoring her comment about Iseult and filed that bit of info away for future use, not that she cared who her uncle screwed so long as it didn't disturb her, but it was still good to know. "Okay, so he dragged you into an alleyway and kicked your ass like you owed him money, and now he wants to fight you again?"
It was kinda cute how the knight assumed he could take out a god, and Pheme could almost see how Agravaine could believe he had a chance. He was about as vicious as they came, from what she knew of him.
"He cracked my ribs like I'd fucked his wife, not hit a girl we both knew," Agravaine corrected her, tasting the rum at the back of his throat. His arrogance knew no bounds, and so he did feel he could take on the god with an equal chance of winning. But he wasn't going to do it in the ring; that was too much of an advantage, and Ares would get more cocky than usual, which happened to be fucking annoying. Mordred's cocky he could tolerate; Ares was just a moron.
"He wants to fight me again because he's fist happy, kiddo. That's all there is to him. He's Ares, the god of war, not god of chivalry. Bet he wanted to hit Athena in the face a couple times back in the day."
"That sounds so random, maybe he fucked her too. He was kinda the jealous type way back when," Pheme mentioned casually, thinking back over what she remembered of the god. Back in the day, she had been in the position to know more about the Olympians than they ever would have assumed, but considering who she was they shouldn't have been surprised. That those old secrets might potentially help her uncle get the drop on the smug douchebag club owner now was like divine retribution in her eyes.
"Oh, he did. In fact, I'm amazed the two of them didn't have any epic clashes that weren't carried out through mortals who worshipped them. Maybe Zeus was afraid they'd wreck Mount Olympus if they went at it."
That drew a low laugh out of Agravaine, who'd been in the process of setting down his mug once again. "Like two kids ruining everybody else's fun. Fucking hell." It was true that he wouldn't have minded more info on Ares from during his time, and briefly he entertained the thought of the man sitting down and researching Agravaine. He might've even Googled himself, seeing what sorts of things popped up.
And it only made him laugh more. What a fucking tool.
The laughter from him was unexpected, but Pheme liked hearing it. She was so used to him acting angry or grumpy that she had no idea it was even possible for him to laugh. Now that she knew he could, she hoped she would hear it more often. "Well, Ares was one of the only children of Hera and Zeus, but his daddy liked Athena better 'cause she was smarter." Goddess of wisdom, and all.
"Besides, I can't think two gods of war fightin' is good for anyone, unless they took each other out."
"Yeah, don't think anything of value would be lost there," the knight announced, pushing off from the counter to approach the cupboard over the toaster. The only regret Agravaine would have was not being able to do it himself. But right now, there was only one person he really wanted to take out, and he'd fallen off the radar.
Ares needed a fist in the eye, and Gaheris needed his own head on a plate. Which should've come first?
"Seriously," the goddess agreed, the urge to say more overwhelming. "I would pay to see someone kick Ares' ass, who does he think he is talkin' 'bout you like he knows you and callin' me little one and tellin' me what to do like he's my daddy or somethin'? Someone needs to put him in his place. Where's Aphrodite when I need her?"
If there was anyone who could stomp all over Ares' manparts, it was Aphrodite. "Anyway, he ain't worth your time."
Some very deep part of Agravaine was slightly touched that he was being defended by a preteen. She had only known him for a short while, which meant she either genuinely liked him or was an idiot. Unsure which to lean toward, he snorted after dropping two bagel halves into the toaster.
Dark eyes traveled over to the seated goddess, and using the retrieval of his coffee as an excuse to come closer, he padded past, not before flicking her lightly in the forehead.
"Thanks, shrimp."
And he meant it.
The silence that seemed to fall over Pheme after his thanks was both uncharacteristic and ripe with unspoken words. So stunned by the gesture he had made, although the flick to her forehead did sting slightly, she had no idea how to react.
"Yeah, well, no problem. Blood before pantheons, or something." It was the only thing she could think of to say in response, as if wanting to assure him that family came first.
"I never liked Ares much anyway, always too big for his britches."
She waited until he wasn't looking to rub her forehead.
"That's because he's a fucking douche with the personality of a door knob." Among other things that Agravaine had decided not to add. No sense letting her know just how much he hated the existence of the other man, because he despised being the weaker one. One day, he'd hit Ares' nose back into his skull and not feel a damn ounce of regret.
Following a sip of coffee, he finally tacked on: "How much did you make him bleed?"
"Now that just ain't fair to door knobs, some of those got great personalities." Giggling at the image that brought to mind Pheme glanced over at her uncle. "I rocked him good, more than he expected." Which wasn't saying much when you took into account that she wasn't the most intimidating of physical specimens.
"He swore, was holding his jaw, and spit out some blood. No teeth, though."
Unfortunate that Agravaine couldn't have been there to see it, because it sounded fucking hilarious. While hypocritical to want to laugh at someone who'd been hit by a young girl, when the punch had happened because he was being defended, still the urge remained, and he offered a dark, lopsided smirk.
"Next time if you get the chance, hit the fucker harder."
Any hint of worry that Pheme had been harboring over whether or not her uncle would approve of her actions vanished at his words. Shaking her head, she snorted as a wide smile spread over her face. Had she told her mama or step-father that she punched someone, an adult even, they would have reamed her out, so Agravaine's approval meant a lot to her.
"If I do get the chance I will, but he kicked me out and told me never to come back."
Eventually the bagels popped up in the toaster, but no move was made to retrieve them just yet. Instead, the tall knight finished off his coffee, the mug making a loud scrape across the counter. He raised both eyebrows.
"Then I'll have to knock out his teeth for myself, won't I?" he offered, already know the answer that that one.
Of all the thing that she would have expected him to say, that was not among them. In fact, it wasn't even in the same vicinity. The goddess leaned forward, shock visible in her eyes as she blinked at what her uncle had just said.
"That. Would be epic." she exclaimed, her voice barely above a whisper. "Could I videotape that for my blog page?"
"How 'bout you videotape that shit for you and me," he reasoned instead. "And for him when I decide to show him just how much of a fucking tool he is." Having a video like that posted in public wouldn't go so well for his job, or for his relationship with his family. If they or his sister found out, that wouldn't bode too well.
But it wasn't like he gave a shit what they thought of him; it's what they did instead of what they thought.
"You mean like not share it with everyone?" she asked, disbelief ringing clear in her voice. "I guess I could do that, but wouldn't you want everyone to know you knocked the fucker out?" It was just plain weird to her that he would object to the video being out there for everyone to see, but he was the adult here and she would do well to listen to him.
"If it was me making him cough up his own teeth I'd be showin' that to everyone and their mama's so they all knew not to mess with me."
No one had to be smart to know the two of them were very different in many ways: for one, Agravaine knew at least a little bit of tact when it came to beating the shit out of someone. He wasn't just some brute like Ares, whose intelligence seemed to end at his fists. The knight crossed the kitchen, snagging the bagel slices.
"There're only two people I'd wanna show, but I'm not gonna showcase it to the fucking world. Provided you're even there, kiddo." Because there was a chance she wouldn't be, in which case talking about recording anything was more or less pointless.
It was odd for her to consider that he only had a few people who he would want to show off to, but it said a lot for his character. Pheme was so used to dealing with people who took such pride in their accomplishments that they wanted everyone to know about them, and hadn't thought that there were people out there who might not feel the same.
"If I wasn't there would you tell me about it, or am I not one of the people you'd want to show?" It was an important question to her, since her immediate instinct was to rush home and tell him despite bring unsure if he would care or not.
As far as his pride was concerned, Agravaine only felt the need to prove himself to a handful of people: Gawain, his father, his uncle on occasion. Everyone else was far from important. Mordred, of course, was someone he considered as close to an equal as anyone had ever been, and so he didn't qualify as someone who he needed to be proud of him.
He set to the task of yanking the fridge open and fetching the butter, speaking as he went. "Sure I'd tell you about it. And I'd leave out all the fucking juicy details just to piss you off."
When it came to pride Pheme had quite a bit of it although that didn't stop her from wanting approval. Since Agravaine was the person currently in charge of her well-being, that meant she looked to him for validation that she wasn't completely worthless. He may not know it, but he held the distinction of being the most important person in her little world, since he held her life in his hands.
She kicked her legs as she watched him, a look of pure indignation crossing her face at what he said. "That's so mean! Why would you do that to me? What have I ever done to you?"
In return, not a single shred of emotion passed over his face at her exclamation as he buttered his bagel in silence. Abandoning the toaster with both halves in hand, he held up one half, but spoke before biting into it.
"Exist," he countered in good humor, moving past her to exit the kitchen.
Her entire face seemed to fall at first, reflecting the fact that she wasn't sure if his response was serious or a joke. Staring down at her now stilled legs, she waited until he left the kitchen to come up with a response.
"Well boo fuckin' hoo, 'cause I ain't goin' nowhere," she called out, jumping down to follow him.