Fic: One Crazy Night 17-18/22
Title: One Crazy Night
Fandom: Popular
Pairing: Sam/Brooke
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Alas, I don’t own the characters of Popular. They belong to Ryan Murphy, but hopefully he won’t mind if I borrow them for a little while.
A/N: This is a futurefic, where Sam and Brooke are in college. It's currently junior year.
A/N2: Thoughts are in [ ]. And memories/flashbacks are in italics.
( Chapters 1 - 2 )
( Chapters 3 - 5 )
( Chapters 6 - 8 )
( Chapters 9 - 10 )
( Chapters 11 - 12 )
( Chapter 13 )
( Chapter 14 )
( Chapters 15 - 16 )
Chapter 17
Brooke was supposed to be studying. She had an exam coming up, and she should really be studying. She was sitting in the library and had everything she needed -- her textbook, her notes from class, the journal articles the professor had assigned for reading. But the one key thing that she lacked was concentration. Because she was sitting across the table from Sam. And Sam was a major complication in the whole studying process.
It wasn’t Sam’s mere presence, per se, that was the problem. The problem could be more directly defined as Sam’s oral fixation. Brooke watched as Sam tapped her pen on the table, while running her tongue over her lips. She then took the pen and placed it between her teeth, using her tongue to idly move the pen up and down. When Sam took the pen out of her mouth again, to underline something in the article she was reading, she took her bottom lip into her mouth and thoughtfully sucked on it.
Brooke was mesmerized.
[ We’ve been here for over half an hour, and Sam’s tongue has barely stopped moving the whole time. And it seems like she doesn’t even realize it! How can I be the only one to notice the amazing things that Sam keeps doing with that tongue? Of course, I can think of a few other amazing things that Sam could be doing... ]
“Earth to McQueen! You there?”
The insistent voice finally broke through Brooke’s daze. Sam was now staring at her, an amused expression on her face, with the pen hanging loosely from between her lips.
Brooke turned quickly to her left, where Alexis had apparently been trying to gain her attention. She blushed, noticing that Jason and Katie were looking at her curiously as well.
[ Shit. Just how long has Alexis been trying to get my attention? ]
“Um, yeah. Sorry. What?” Brooke was flustered, but tried not to show it. She kept her eyes focused on Alex, even as she could see Sam smirking out of the corner of her eye.
Alex laughed lightly. “Nice of you to join us, Brooke. You have a nice time over in daydream land? Anyway, I was asking if I could see your book. I forgot to bring mine.”
“Yeah, sure. Here.” Brooke handed over the book, before turning back to look at the notes that she was supposed to be going over. She saw that Sam and Jason had returned to their work as well. Katie, however, was still looking at her, with a concerned expression on her face. Brooke sighed, gave her a small smile, and tried once again to focus on the work in front of her.
[ I will not look at Sam. I will study for my test. I will not look at Sam. I will study for my test. ]
~~~
“You can’t keep going like this.”
Brooke sighed. She and Katie had been hanging out in her room for a little while, but Brooke had known that Katie wanted to say something. Brooke had been able to avoid this conversation for a day since the study session in the library, but she apparently wasn’t going to manage it any longer.
“What do you mean? Everything’s fine.”
Katie looked at her seriously. “You need to tell her, Brooke.”
[ That’s a very vague statement, but I guess there’s really no point in pretending as if I don’t know what she’s talking about. ]
Brooke laughed. “Tell her? Yeah, right. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Well why not? The way things are going, you’re not giving either of you a chance. First of all, you’re not giving Sam a chance to respond. When you first told me about your feelings for Sam, I’ll admit that I never thought anything would come of it. But for the last two weeks or so -- since a little before she broke up with Luke, actually -- she’s been looking at you differently. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s different. Now, I’m not so sure that your chances are as low as you seem to think they are.”
Brooke turned to Katie with a pained expression on her face. “Don’t say that. Please. Don’t get my hopes up.”
“Well what’s the worst that can happen? She says that she’s not interested, right? Well at least then you’d know! Wouldn’t that be better than what you’re going through right now?”
“No, I can’t tell her. Because if I don’t give her a chance to reject me, then there’s always the slightest possibility that something will happen. If I tell her...then I lose all hope, even if it is an irrational hope.”
“But Brooke, you can’t possibly just sit around waiting for her to come to you! If she turns you down, at least you can then move on,” Katie added. “Right now, you’re not giving yourself a chance to get over her.”
Brooke shifted uneasily in her chair, looking from Katie’s sympathetic face to the framed photograph that she kept on her desk. It was one of her and Sam, from senior year of high school. The two of them were sitting on the couch at the Palace, facing each other, talking animatedly and laughing about something that Brooke could no longer remember. Jane had seen them and taken the picture before either of them noticed her. It was one of Brooke’s favorite pictures. It wasn’t posed or forced. It was real. The joy in each of their eyes was real.
“But...but I don’t know if I want to get over her. I mean, a lot of the time it really sucks, feeling this way. But I don’t think that I want to get over her. I know it doesn’t make sense. I just can’t see myself not loving Sam.”
Brooke was feeling more and more agitated. She knew that Katie only meant well, but Brooke just wanted her friend to let her deal with this in her own way. Which really meant not dealing with it at all. But Brooke was okay with that.
[ Not dealing with it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Right? ]
Katie broke the momentary silence. “Okay. So let’s take a step back. Say, you don’t tell her that you’re in love with her. That could be unnecessarily intense. I’ll give you that. But you could at least tell her that you’re bi. And then, if there’s any possibility that she feels the same way, she’ll be more likely to say something!”
Brooke ran a tense hand through her hair. “No. No, I can’t tell her that, either.”
“Why not?!” Katie was getting visibly frustrated with Brooke. “Sam totally wouldn’t care. You know that she wouldn’t. So what’s the big deal? She’s supposedly your best friend, Brooke. If you can’t tell her this, a major part of who you are, then that’s a serious problem.”
Brooke looked anxiously towards Katie. She knew that she wasn’t making it easy for Katie to understand.
[ But how can I make her understand? She’s missing a major piece of the story, but I don’t know if I can deal with telling her. ]
“Look. I know that I’m not making much sense. And I know that Sam’s not homophobic. That’s not the issue. But...there’s something else. Something that makes it so that I can’t tell her.”
“Well what is it, Brooke? Please trust me. You can tell me, whatever it is,” Katie urged her.
“Okay. But you have to promise that, no matter what, you won’t tell Sam that I told you this. She’d kill me, if she found out.”
There was a pause, as Katie nodded her agreement, obviously curious as to what Brooke had to say.
[ Sorry, Sam. I know that I said I wouldn’t tell anyone. But here goes... ]
“So, this is probably going to sound like a reason that I SHOULD tell her, but it’s more complicated than that.”
Brooke could already feel herself blushing, in anticipation of what she was about to say. She stood up from her chair, took a deep breath, and started slowly pacing back and forth.
“Something happened, once. Between the two of us. Sam and I were both really drunk. And...well, I honestly don’t remember a lot of what happened, but, to get right to the point, we hooked up.” Brooke exhaled audibly, somewhat relieved to have finally told someone. “Wow, I haven’t talked about this in a long time. And I’ve never talked about it with anyone other than Sam.”
Brooke looked to the wide-eyed, stunned face in front of her. She started to chew nervously on her bottom lip, waiting for some kind of reaction.
Finally, Katie blinked. “Holy shit. You guys hooked up? Like, seriously hooked up?”
“Yeah, it went pretty far.”
Whatever Katie had been expecting Brooke's admission to be, this obviously wasn’t it. She was silent for another few moments, and then her expression changed from shock to confusion. “Wait, I don’t get it. Why does this mean that you can’t tell Sam that you’re gay?” she asked.
Before Brooke had time to figure out how to answer that question, a look of understanding crossed over Katie’s face. “Oh my god. Freshman year. That’s why you two were so weird second semester.”
“Yeah. It was after Charlie’s birthday party, actually, if you remember that night. And that’s why I can’t tell her. After it happened...everything basically sucked. Sam wouldn’t talk to me. Or when she did talk to me, it was only to get into a fight with me. Katie, you saw what it was like... She hated me. She could barely stand the sight of me. And I was miserable. I can’t go through that again.”
“But Brooke, she was probably just freaked out. You didn’t think you were bi at that point, either, did you? So who knows how Sam feels about it now.”
“You’re right. It’s certainly possible that it really wouldn’t be a big deal anymore. But it’s also possible that it would. And I can’t risk that. Even if it means that I have to keep pining away for her...Sam’s friendship means too much to me. I won’t risk losing her again.”
Brooke slumped back into her chair, placing her head dejectedly in her hands.
“Plus,” she continued, “Sam was SO adamant about no one finding out. The thought of anyone knowing what had happened between us...Sam was obviously not okay with that thought. And if I tell her I’m bi, then that changes the story of what happened. It goes from a random, drunken event -- a ‘really bad idea,’ is what I believe she called it -- to seeming like my clumsy attempt at seduction. Which isn’t what it was, but that’s what it’ll seem like. And then Sam will just feel really awkward around me, and I’ll feel awkward around her, and I’ll still be in love with her, but I won’t even have her friendship to rely on. That’s not what I want. But living with just her friendship? That, I can handle.”
[ Having Sam as a friend will always be better than not having her at all. ]
__________________________________________________
Chapter 18
Sam was on a mission. She had been observing Brooke a lot recently, and one thing that she kept noticing was how infrequently Brooke smiled lately. Sure, she gave plenty of little smiles. But none of those real ones, the kind that showed in her eyes. So, Sam had set out a task for herself.
Operation: Make Brooke Really Smile.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. She really wasn’t quite sure how she should act around Brooke, in general. After the whole Charlie mess, the girls had unquestionably grown closer. Sam’s emotions towards Brooke were stronger than ever.
[ But now I’ve had to admit to myself the real reason behind those emotions. Namely, I like Brooke. A lot. And in a not-so-sisterly kind of way. ]
They had tried sleeping apart again. Brooke said that it had been a while, she no longer really thought about Charlie too often, and she felt like she was asking too much of Sam, though Sam tried to convince her otherwise. Still, if Brooke had moved on and wanted to sleep separately, then that was progress, right? Sam decided not to push it, even though she wasn’t a big fan of this kind of “progress.”
So Sam lay in bed, counting the glow-in-the-dark stars that had been stuck on the ceiling of her room, left behind as a souvenir from a previous resident. She felt like she should be tired, but sleep was proving to be elusive.
She hugged one of her pillows to her chest, but it just wasn’t the same. Her body wasn’t fooled by her attempt to recreate Brooke’s form.
It was Sam’s third night in a row without Brooke. And it looked like it would be Sam’s third night in a row of less-than-ideal sleep.
Sam’s gaze was drawn to the bottom of her door, as a shadow appeared, blocking the light from the hallway. The shadow remained motionless for a few moments, before disappearing again, as Sam heard soft footsteps pad away from her room. She sighed in frustration and closed her eyes. She knew that it was Brooke. That Brooke had thought about coming in, but decided against it.
Sam was startled, then, when her room was suddenly flooded with light. She hadn’t heard Brooke return, but there she was, standing awkwardly by the door, which she had quickly closed again behind her.
Sam couldn’t help but smile widely, even though she guessed that Brooke couldn’t see it.
“I...I couldn’t sleep.” Brooke’s voice was just above a whisper.
“Neither could I,” Sam replied softly. “Come join me?” And she lifted up the edge of her comforter, making room for Brooke.
Brooke quietly slid between the sheets, instantly wrapping her arms around the brunette.
“You’re welcome here any time, Brooke. I mean it.”
Brooke nodded into Sam’s neck, releasing a contented sigh.
Now that she had Brooke back between her arms, it didn’t take long for Sam to slip into sleep.
So that was the end of their brief attempt to keep to their own rooms at night.
Lying in bed with Brooke, Sam had been forced to confront how much she enjoyed the new, physical aspect to their relationship. How natural it felt to wake up entangled in Brooke’s arms. How much she wanted to kiss Brooke.
It wasn’t just physical, though. Sure, there was physical attraction. But honestly, Sam was a little scared by how deeply she felt for Brooke. The realization had come so quickly, she hadn’t had too much time to get used to the idea. Like the flip of a switch -- one day, Sam was happy being friends; the next day, she wanted more. Sam had no idea what, exactly, had caused this new awareness. But now, there was no looking back. And so many things made more sense -- Junior Prom, her initial dislike of Charlie, her relationship with Luke, all the pointless fighting.
[ I am SO gay. How did I not realize this before?? ]
Once those underlying emotions were admitted, however, Sam didn’t know what to do about it. And Luke’s assertion that Brooke looked at her in a similarly un-sisterly way only made things more complicated.
Having unrequited feelings for Brooke? Sam could totally see that happening.
[ Because seriously, what are the odds that Brooke McQueen -- head cheerleader, Prom Queen, all-around golden girl -- would have romantic feelings for me? Not too high, I’d imagine. ]
But maybe Brooke did feel the same way. Then Sam should do something about it, right?
[ Yeah, and probably just end up looking like an ass. ]
Still, maybe Operation: Figure Out How Brooke Feels and Operation: Make Brooke Really Smile could be combined. If Brooke really was in love with Sam, then maybe a little flirting would elicit a smile. And even better would be if Sam could avoid looking like an ass in the process.
~~~
“Hey, so are you still up for this afternoon?”
Brooke looked at Sam in confusion. They were both lounging around on a Sunday morning, attempting to get some work done. After waking up in Sam’s bed, Brooke hadn’t yet ventured back to her own room.
“This afternoon? What’s going on this afternoon?”
Sam explained, “Well you said you wanted to try out that new restaurant on Bleecker Street, right? I think it’s more of a lunch kind of place than dinner.”
“Oh, right! I completely forgot about that!”
“What would you ever do without me?” Sam teased.
Brooke smiled -- but still, more like a half-smile -- and replied, “Well, I’d continue eating nothing but bad dining hall food, obviously.”
“Then I’m glad that I’m around to remind you every once in a while that there are millions of restaurants in this city.”
“Indeed. Shit, but I have to go get ready! It’s getting late, already. And I don’t know what I’m going to wear, and I need to do my make-up, and...”
Sam grinned, as she saw the opportunity she’d been waiting for.
“No worries...You don’t need to put anything on for my sake.” She raised one suggestive eyebrow, as she glanced toward Brooke.
Brooke turned sharply to look at Sam with a look of wide-eyed panic. “What?!”
Sam tried her best to maintain an innocent tone as she continued, “Make-up. You don’t need to put on any make-up.” Sam winked playfully. “You always look absolutely gorgeous, even without it.” She finished with a sincere smile.
Brooke just continued to stare at Sam, a blush creeping over her face.
“Oh. Right. Um. Thanks. I’m going to put some on anyway. Make-up. And clothes. ‘Kay, gotta go.” And with that, she bolted out of the room.
[ Ooookaaaaayyy...maybe flirting isn’t such a good plan. Or maybe I just suck at flirting. Either way, I seem to have only managed to freak Brooke out, as opposed to making her smile and confess her undying love for me. So now what? ]
A few days later, Sam saw her next opportunity. As Brooke typed away on her computer, writing an essay, Sam noticed that she was often trying to stretch out the muscles in her shoulders.
Quietly, Sam came up behind Brooke and placed her hands on Brooke’s shoulders, lightly squeezing.
“Hey, you alright?”
Brooke jumped at the unexpected contact, but quickly relaxed, leaning back into Sam’s touch. “Yeah. I’ve just been spending way too much time hunched over this damn computer. My back hurts a little bit, is all.”
“Well I’ve been thinking that it’s about time for a break, anyway. Why don’t you let me give you a massage? Maybe it would help.”
Brooke hesitated, but agreed after a few moments’ thought.
“Great! Here, go lie down on your bed. It’ll work better that way.” Sam smiled, but was starting to get nervous at the prospect of touching Brooke.
Once Brooke was settled, Sam went over to the bed as well. She wasn’t quite sure where to place herself. She started off kneeling on the bed, to the side of Brooke. She hesitantly brought her hands down to Brooke’s upper back, rubbing her shoulder blades.
[ This is nice. The positioning is kind of awkward though. ]
“Brooke?”
“Umhmm?”
“Uh. Is it okay if I...well, if I, um...I don’t know if there’s a better way to put this...if I straddle you? I think it’ll be more comfortable.”
Brooke sounded nervous as she replied, “Um, yeah. Sure.”
Sam carefully placed her knees on either side of Brooke’s hips, gently lowering herself onto Brooke’s lower back. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, Sam. You’re fine.”
With that settled, Sam returned to the task at hand. She didn’t really know what she was doing. She let her hands wander across Brooke’s upper back, applying only light pressure at first, before pushing down a bit harder. She heard Brooke sigh in satisfaction after she would work on a particularly tight knot.
The room was near-silent, as Sam’s hands worked out the kinks in Brooke’s back and shoulders. Brooke’s soft sighs and quiet murmurs let Sam know that she was doing something right, and she started to get more confident, leaning harder into Brooke, really exploring the skin beneath her fingers.
The atmosphere was comfortable, but intimate. Sam marveled at the sensation of Brooke’s release of tension. She could literally feel Brooke relax underneath her.
Eventually, though, Sam became aware of the fact that all she could hear was the sound of Brooke’s steady breathing, and it had been like that for a little while.
“Brooke?” Sam whispered.
No response.
“Brooke, are you awake?”
Sam twisted around so that she could see Brooke’s face. The blonde was asleep. Sam smiled at Brooke’s contented expression.
[ Angelic. Perfectly angelic. ]
She slowly got up off of Brooke, grabbed the small blanket from the base of Brooke’s bed, covered her sleeping step-sister, kissed her lightly on the temple, and quietly left the room.
~~~
“Sam, are you actually going to do anything productive, or do you plan on just taking up space?” Brooke laughed lightly, as she eyed the brunette.
Sam, Brooke, and Jason were hanging out in Brooke’s room. Jason and Brooke had some assignment that they were going over together. Sam didn’t really know what they were doing, exactly. Sam had been working, too, but she had given up on that a little while ago.
Now, she lay sprawled across Brooke’s bed, focused intently on the rubik’s cube in her hands. Brooke had to reach over her to get a notebook sitting by Sam’s left leg.
“Well, Brooke, that depends on your definition of ‘productive,’” Sam replied absentmindedly. “Personally, I think that I’m being very productive at the moment.”
Jason laughed. “Sam, hun. I hate to break it to you, but I don’t really think that lazing around and attempting to figure out a rubik’s cube counts as being productive.”
“Well, sure, you WOULD say that,” Sam scoffed. Her attention remained primarily fixed on the cube, though, even as she carried on the conversation. “Since you’re actually doing school work, you get to look down on me and my rubik’s cube. But we won’t worry about you and your restrictive ideas concerning productivity. So, I’ve had a pretty difficult week so far. Exam on Tuesday, paper due yesterday, another exam yesterday. Now, I just have a measly fifteen-page chapter to read for tomorrow. Really, that shouldn’t be too difficult, but since it’s been a rough week, my mind doesn’t really give a shit about that chapter right now. So, I’m taking a break, to give myself some relaxation time. But, during my relaxation time, I decided to tackle the rubik’s cube, because it is an activity that keeps my mind active and engaged, so I’ll be primed and ready to go by the time I work my way back to that chapter that I have to read. So like I said...I happen to think that I’m being VERY productive at the moment!”
Brooke just smiled and shook her head amusedly. Jason, however, looked at Sam in impressed surprise.
“So you had that whole plan worked out when you first came in here?”
“Hell, no. I came in here planning on reading that stupid chapter. But I’m lazy and don’t feel like working, and I found the rubik’s cube under Brooke’s bed five minutes ago. I made up my little productivity explanation about thirty seconds ago.”
Fifteen minutes later, Sam was no closer to solving the rubik’s cube. She was realizing that her relaxation time wasn’t too relaxing.
Frustrated, she idly tossed the rubik’s cube across the room. It landed neatly in Brooke’s trash can.
Her annoyance at the cube turned into excitement.
“She shoots, she scores!” Sam called out animatedly, raising her arms in triumph. “Screw journalism...I’ve discovered my true calling in life: professional basketball player!”
Jason started giggling. “So what happened to the idea of a mentally engaging relaxation time?” he asked.
“Eh.” Sam shrugged. “I’ve decided that thinking is overrated.”
Sam turned and looked towards Brooke.
And there it was. A full-fledged, teeth-revealing, eye-crinkling smile.
Sam found herself holding her breath for a moment. Brooke’s beauty was enough to literally take her breath away.
[ So, flirting didn’t work. An intimate massage didn’t work. But acting like a goofball works? That’s cool. ]
The two of them maintained eye contact, both grinning like idiots. Sam wasn’t sure how long they sat there, just staring at each other and smiling.
[ Operation: Make Brooke Really Smile? Complete success! ]