Retribution - 1/4
Retribution often means that we eventually do to ourselves what we have done unto others. - Eric Hoffner
As Jared walked down the steps of Tortilla Flat Baptist Church, tears streamed down his face like a waterfall. His best friend was dead.
Brynn had been his confidant, his rock, his world, and three days ago she’d killed herself by swallowing an entire bottle of her mom’s prescription pills. Jared still couldn’t wrap his mind around what had happened, denial and shock coursed through his veins. Even as he helped lift her casket into the ground, it wasn’t real to him. It couldn’t be.
He and Brynn had grown up together. Their parents had been neighbors for over thirty years, and the two were inseparable from the time they’d taken their first steps on the same day. They were born only two days apart, and had experienced so many of their first encounters in life together.
At eight years old, Jared had been teased by a bunch of school bullies, and Brynn punched the biggest of them when they tried to steal his lunch money at the bus stop. During Christmas when they were ten, Jared saved up the money he made mowing lawns every weekend to buy Brynn the Barbie Dream House she’d been wanting forever.
When they were thirteen and Brynn was worried about kissing, Jared had let her practice on him, even though he thought kissing was pretty gross. At sixteen, when Brynn discovered that she had a crush on a girl, she and Jared had spent hours in their childhood tree house discussing what that could possibly mean.
They’d graduated from high school and gone to the same college, sharing an apartment near campus. For their 21st birthdays, Jared ordered a cake with a naked chick on it, and made sure all the hot girls from their class were invited to their party for Brynn. In return, Brynn had shoved Jared’s crush, Sandy McCoy, into the pantry with him and slammed the door shut behind them, calling out a mischievous, “Seven minutes in Heaven!”
A lot of people didn’t understand their relationship - those who couldn’t comprehend that a guy and a girl could be ‘just friends’ and love the hell out of each other. Sure, they had their share of arguments, but they always made up with a hug and Jared’s promise to pick up his socks from the living room.
Jared looked back at the entrance to the church as he got into his SUV, and Pastor Ackles was framed in the doorway, just watching him. Anger hit Jared hard. He knew the pastor was to blame for Brynn’s death, and Jared wanted to make sure he paid for it.
Brynn had confided in the pastor about her sexuality, and Pastor Ackles had demanded that she go get help to exorcise the demons invading her soul. He’d chastised her for what he called a pitiful and ungodly lifestyle - all this coming from the pastor that Brynn had known and trusted all her life. She’d been devastated when he told her not to come back until she was living a true Christian lifestyle, and said that she was bound for Hell if she didn’t change her ways. The next day, Brynn took her life and a large chunk of Jared’s heart, as well.
Despite being practically attached at the hip, Jared didn’t share the religious upbringing that Brynn had. Jared’s parents didn’t buy into the propaganda, and no matter how much Brynn wanted Jared to accompany her to Sunday school or church picnics, he’d always refused. He didn’t like the feeling of being judged by people whom he felt were hypocrites. God just didn’t hold much of a place in his life.
Jared unlocked the door to his house and punched in the alarm code to disarm it. His dogs, Harley and Sadie, jumped around excitedly as he dropped his keys on the kitchen table and flipped through his mail. Steve, his live-in housekeeper and cook, was at the stove, stirring a simmering tomato sauce and humming softly.
“How was the burial service?” he asked.
Also a friend of Brynn’s, Steve had attended the funeral, but the burial had been reserved for family only. Jared had certainly been part of Brynn’s family.
Loosening his tie, Jared sank down into a kitchen chair and heaved a large sigh. “It was nice. I mean, Brynn’s parents did as well as they could, considering they’re grieving. But…it just wasn’t enough like Brynn. It was a cookie cutter funeral, and she would have hated all the roses. Chrysanthemums were always her favorite.”
“I’m sorry, Jay. I know these past few days have been awful for you.” Steve stepped away from the stove and patted Jared on the back. “Do you want to eat something? I’m making spaghetti and meatballs.”
“Thanks, man, but I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Would you keep some in the fridge for me for later?”
Steve smiled, understanding flashing across his face. “Of course. Just let me know if you need anything. I’m not going anywhere.”
Not only had Jared found a fantastic cook in Steve, he’d also found a friend.
He trudged up the stairs to the master suite, Harley and Sadie following closely at his heels. He stripped down to his boxers and fell onto his enormous bed, hitting the remote that controlled the blinds, plunging the room into darkness.
If he was honest with himself, he was completely pissed at Brynn for being so selfish. How could she leave him all alone? He recalled their last conversation, when Brynn had called him in hysterics, telling him about the talk with Pastor Ackles that she’d had. After hearing the pastor lecture on the evils of homosexuality one too many times, Brynn had decided to confide in him.
But why had she let some asshole that didn’t even know what he was talking about get inside her head that way? Why hadn’t she come to Jared to make everything okay like she always did? Maybe that’s what was bothering him. For the first time, he hadn’t been able to take care of her. He’d been too late.
He began to cry softly, pushing his face into his pillow. The dogs were curled around him, but even their presence couldn’t comfort him. The only thing that stopped the pain was finally falling asleep.
~*~
The problem with being fairly moral was that even when grasping at the straws of confusion, Jared felt guilt deep in his bones when he began entertaining thoughts of hurting Pastor Ackles. Not that he’d ever go after him physically, but he flinched when the image of the pastor crying his eyes out, the way Jared had been for days, gave him great satisfaction.
His brain and his heart were definitely fighting each other, and refused to come to any consensus. Jared knew that what he was pondering was wrong. But the phrase ‘eye for an eye’ kept coming back to him.
Two days later, Jared decided that he needed a plan. He wanted revenge, and his target was Pastor Ackles. He just wasn’t sure what to do. Truth be told, Jared wasn’t one for reprisal. He was genuinely a nice guy who donated millions to charity, sometimes volunteered at the local soup kitchen, and was an advocate for rescue dogs.
He put some thought into who the most devious person he knew actually was, and he came up with the perfect source.
Christian Kane knew everything about everyone in Tortilla Flat, Texas and luckily for Jared, he was also Steve’s best friend. He found the two out by the pool that afternoon, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. Perfect.
After making some polite small talk, he got right to business. “Chris, what do you know about the Ackles family?”
Chris’s grin turned feral. “The pastor, you mean?”
“Yeah.”
“The wife’s never around. Always out of the country being a ‘Crusader for Christ’ or some shit. He’s got one kid. Name’s Jensen.”
“Got any dirt on him?”
“Why do you want to know about Jensen?” Chris asked, peering at Jared from underneath the brim of his straw cowboy hat.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Jared said.
“You interested?”
“Quit answering my questions with questions.”
“He just got back from South America or something. He was there for years doing missionary work. He’s a bit older than you, Jay, and smoking hot. And, well, from what I hear, he’s been seen sneaking into the Luxor Lounge, and you know what that means,” Chris said, raising an eyebrow.
“Totally gay,” Steve supplied.
“Seriously? That’s, like, the gayest bar ever,” Jared gaped, reaching down to scratch Harley behind his ear.
“Maybe he’s there passing out pamphlets on how to be saved from homosexuality,” Chris snorted. “So, Padalecki, why the interest in Jensen?”
Jared debated internally about how honest he should be, but decided to let them in on his secret. “I think his dad pushed Brynn into committing suicide and I want some payback. I want to destroy the guy, in any way I can.”
Steve and Chris were silent for a moment, until Chris burst into laughter. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re a savage! But I’ve got the perfect idea.”
“Oh no,” Steve groaned.
“You seduce Jensen,” Chris said, ignoring Steve. “Get him to suck your dick and take a picture or something. We obviously know his dad hates queers, so wouldn’t it kill him to see that his son is a little ‘light in the loafers,’ as they say?”
“I think you might be a genius,” Jared said, clapping his hands together. “I can totally do that. I mean, who can resist me?”
“Don’t you think that’s a bit…mean?” Steve asked.
“I don’t. This is just something I need to do. For Brynn.”
But Jared could tell that Steve didn’t like the idea of trying to seduce an innocent guy. Chris, on the other hand, loved a scandal and offered to help in any way that he could.
“Somehow get Jensen to the bar tomorrow night. I don’t care how you do it, but just make sure he doesn’t leave before I get there,” Jared said.
“No problem, son. He’ll be there.”
~*~
Jared knew that he should go back to work, but he just couldn’t do it. Not yet. Besides, what was the point in owning your own company if you couldn’t take advantage of it once in awhile? He had several people on his payroll who were capable of handling business until he felt like showing up at the office.
After college, Jared had started a men’s magazine. With the help of his friend Mike, the magazine geared toward the metrosexual man had blown off the charts. Jared was raking in profits left and right, and had become one of the wealthiest young men in Texas.
He pulled a comb through his shaggy brown hair and looked in the mirror. Steve had helped him pick out his outfit for tonight - jeans that made his ass look spectacular, a blue shirt with a collar, the buttons undone to show off just enough of his tanned skin, and brown leather sandals. Steve completed the look by clasping a turquoise pendant around his neck.
“It’s mine,” he explained, gesturing toward the necklace, “for luck. I hope you get what you’re after, Jay. Just remember, revenge isn’t always as sweet as you think it’s gonna be.”
Steve’s words haunted him as he grabbed his keys and stepped out into the night. But he had to try. He had to try to even the score.
Jared drove his Mercedes downtown and parked on the street outside of the Luxor Lounge. He noticed Chris’s truck a few spaces down and was relieved that he was already inside. Chris had agreed to go for moral support. The doors swung open and he stepped inside the large room. He nodded to a few people he recognized, and wound his way to the bar for a drink.
After the bartender handed him a vodka tonic, Jared perused the surroundings. Chris was at the back of the room, and nodded his head once he saw Jared. At first he didn’t notice Jensen sitting nervously on a stool at the very end of the bar, looking around as though he were waiting for something or someone. He was dressed in khaki pants and a black sweater, and Jared had to admit that his unsuspecting prey looked great.
Christian had pulled up Jensen’s father’s church blog to show him a picture of the young man so Jared would know whom to look for. Jared made a mental note that the picture didn’t do Jensen justice.
He wandered over to Jensen, casually sipping his drink and making sure he kept his eyes on the prize.
Jared plopped down next to Jensen, and gave him a brilliant smile. “Is it okay if I sit here for a minute?”
“Uh. Yeah, I guess,” Jensen answered, not meeting his eyes.
“Is it usually so crowded here?” Jared asked, trying to keep the conversation going.
“I don’t really know. I mean, I’m not, like, a regular or anything.”
Jared smiled. “So what brings you out tonight?”
“I’m supposed to be meeting someone here, but I don’t think he’s coming,” Jensen admitted.
“You don’t look like the sorta guy who gets stood up.”
“Oh, it’s just a friend of mine. Not a date or anything.”
Jared noticed that Jensen seemed to be relaxing a little bit, so he scooted slightly closer. “I know it sounds cliché, but can I buy you a drink?”
“Thanks, but I’m fine. I’ve got some water,” he said, motioning toward the bottle of Evian that was perched on the counter in front him.
“Not into alcohol?” Jared asked.
“I am not really into the bar scene at all. I don’t know why Riley suggested meeting here.”
A pang of guilt formed in Jared’s stomach. He knew that Chris had gone to the guitar store where Riley, Jensen’s best friend, worked, stolen his cell phone when the other man was in the back, and texted Jensen with the time and place to meet - then had switched off the phone.
“I think I’ve seen you here before…” Jared drawled.
Jensen’s face flushed immediately. “Well, I do like to dance, that’s all.”
“Think you’d ever dance with me?” Jared asked.
Obviously startled, Jensen flinched briefly. “Maybe. I mean, if we were both here, and you, uh, asked me. I would.”
Jared chuckled at the red tinge appearing on Jensen’s freckled face. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He knew Jensen was warming up to him, so he slid even closer on his stool so that their knees would touch.
Jensen didn’t move away. In fact, he smiled up at Jared shyly.
“I’m Jared. Nice to meet you.”
“Jensen,” he replied, extending his hand, which Jared clutched warmly.
This was going to be easier than he thought. And it wasn’t like he’d never messed around with guys before. In fact, one of the hottest nights of his life had been with a guy he’d met in a statistics class back in college. Jared didn’t put much stock in gender. Guys. Girls. He liked ‘em all. Especially when their lips were plump and pouty like Jensen’s.
He noticed Chris pass by and give Jared a little wave. “Chris is a friend,” he said, nodding toward Chris in explanation when he noticed Jensen’s raised brow.
“You’re friends with Christian Kane?” Jensen said incredulously. “He’s, like, a legend.”
“His best friend works for me, so he’s at my place all the time - practically lives there.” Jared was glad that Jensen looked impressed. “You should come over and hang out with us sometime.”
“Yeah, maybe. But I’m pretty busy with work and stuff,” he said, looking uncomfortable again.
“Oh yeah? What business are you in? I’m an editor.” Jared turned on his stool so that he was facing Jensen’s body.
“Accounting. It’s really not that interesting,” Jensen said quickly. “So where do you live?”
“Near Orchard Hills. You know it?”
“Wow, yeah. Nice houses over there,” Jensen looked impressed again.
“If I give you my phone number, will you call me? Come over for a BBQ on Sunday?”
“Sunday? Well, um, I’m usually kinda busy on Sundays,” Jensen stammered.
Jared almost kicked himself. Of course Jensen was busy on Sundays. Church. “What about Saturday, then? Bring your swimming trunks. I’ve got a pool.”
“Okay, yeah,” Jensen said after mulling it over. “Sounds fun.”
Jared abruptly stood up and drained the rest of the liquid from his glass, then pulled one of his business cards out of his wallet and scribbled his cell phone number on the back. “I mean it. Call me,” he said smoothly.
Jared pressed the card into Jensen’s palm and walked backwards toward the exit, with Jensen staring after him the entire time. Hook. Line. Sinker.
~*~
January 21, 2009
Jensenrackles.blogger.com
Security Setting: Private
Riley told me that I should write things down so that I can remember them later. He carries a small notepad around everywhere he goes to jot down song titles he hears on the radio, or something funny that someone said in the shop. I’m not much of a paper and pencil type of guy, so I’m writing stuff here. To be honest, I’m not really sure what to say, since I’m making all of my entries private.
But here is my new space. It’s just for me and…well, my thoughts, I guess.
Tonight I met a guy. A really tall, gorgeous guy. His name is Jared and he told me to call him…
~*~
By Saturday afternoon, Jared was feeling even more guilt in the pit of his stomach, but he couldn’t deviate away from his plan. Jensen had called him the night before to confirm the BBQ and to get Jared’s address. They’d ended up chatting for about half an hour and Jared found himself liking the sound of Jensen’s smooth voice.
After hanging up, Jared had quickly told Steve to have Chris come over for the impromptu party, and he invited his business partner Mike, and his boyfriend Tom, as well.
Steve had spent the day in the kitchen, whipping up homemade potato salad, baked beans and cornbread. The chicken would be thrown on the grill by the pool once everyone had arrived.
He heard the doorbell ring and felt butterflies in his stomach. He ran to the front door and was slightly disappointed to see Mike and Tom standing there, a case of beer in each of their hands. “Come on out back. Just waiting for Jensen to get here,” he said.
“So you’re really trying to seduce the pastor’s son, eh?” Mike laughed. “Only you, Padalecki.”
It bothered Jared how cruel it sounded coming out of someone else’s mouth. But he just grinned and shoved his friend toward the sliding glass doors to the deck. He watched as Tom put his hand to the small of Mike’s back and led him outdoors.
Mike and Tom’s relationship seemed so easy and secure. They’d been together for several years, and they just seemed to work…effortlessly. Jared wondered if he’d ever want that. Being faithful to the same person year after year didn’t sound appealing to him, not at all.
He wandered into the hallway and studied his reflection on his way into his at-home office. Could he really go through with this? He shuffled some papers around on his desk to distract himself, then sank into his leather chair with a sigh. He looked at the framed picture of he and Brynn at Disney World that sat on a bookshelf, and rage took hold of him once more. Yeah, he could definitely do it. Pastor Ackles deserved to hurt in a way that he’d never imagined, and Jared was going to be the one orchestrating the blows.
He heard a yell and a splash from outside, and laughed. Mike had probably pushed one of the guys into the pool already, something the kid in him always loved to do. Just as Jared was thinking about going to check to see who was soaked, the doorbell chimed.
Jensen.
Jared sprang to his feet and flung the door open wide. Jensen was standing on the front stoop, looking every bit as handsome as he had the other night at the Luxor Lounge. “Glad you came,” Jared said, ushering Jensen inside.
“This is your house?” Jensen gaped, looking around at the enormous foyer.
“Yeah. It’s a little much, I know, but I love it,” Jared said, leading Jensen toward the backyard. “I’ll give you the grand tour later.”
Four sets of eyes immediately locked onto the pair as they stepped onto the deck. “Hey guys, come’re and meet a friend of mine.”
Jared instantly noticed that Chris was much wetter than the last time he’d seen him. Mike’s first victim. At least he’d already changed into his swim trunks.
Once introductions were made, Mike tossed Jensen a beer and Jared was surprised when he accepted it. “I didn’t say I never drink,” Jensen said, noticing the look on Jared’s face.
Jared smiled at him genuinely and took a beer for himself.
Steve got busy preparing the rest of the food, and everyone else lounged around on the patio, mouths watering from the delicious smells. Jared was glad how well the other guys were accepting Jensen, especially since all of them knew what Jared was up to. They seemed interested as Jensen talked about South America once he revealed he’d lived in Brazil, and made sure his hand was never empty of a beer bottle; they treated him as if he really were Jared’s date.
The food was set out shortly, and everyone dove in greedily, complementing Steve on his skills with almost every bite. As usual, Jared packed in more food than two of the other guys combined, and Jensen was watching his mouth, Jared could tell. He smirked a little and gave Jensen a wink, making sure to sneak his tongue out to clean up a bit of BBQ sauce on his upper lip.
Jared had to admit to being a little bit obsessed with watching Jensen’s lips wrap around a forkful of potato salad. Jensen was beautiful; that was a fact. He was tall, with short spiky hair, and bowed legs that Jared thought told more of a story than simple horseback riding.
“So, Jensen,” Mike began, and Jared froze. He so didn’t want Mike asking a bunch of questions. “Where’d you meet our boy?”
“Uh. We ran into each other at a bar downtown. I was waiting for a friend, and Jared happened to sit down next to me,” Jensen explained.
Jared gave Mike a warning look, but of course Mike couldn’t help himself. “Ah, so then it was fate,” he said, rubbing at a spot on his head.
“I guess you could say that,” Jensen laughed quietly. “It’s weird, because my friend Riley said he never invited me out. So maybe it was luck,” he said, flashing a smile at Jared.
Thankfully, Sadie ran past the table at that moment, Harley hot on her heels, making everyone laugh and look in their direction. Had they been looking at Jared, they would have seen the wistful look gracing his features.
“Did you bring your swimsuit, Jensen?” Chris asked. When Jensen nodded, Chris nudged Jared. “So we’ll get to see what’s under those clothes, eh Jay?”
“Christian…” Jared groaned, his face turning hot.
“What? I’m looking forward to it, as well!” Chris said.
Tom insisted on cleaning up and hauling everything into the kitchen. Mike started to whine, when Tom said, “And then we’ll go change into our suits,” with a meaningful gaze. Mike scrambled to his feet and dashed inside carrying dirty plates and silverware, Tom close behind.
“I promise, they usually aren’t this bad. Must be a full moon tonight or something,” Jared laughed and stood up. “How about that house tour now?”
“Sure, I’ll just grab my suit out of the truck and meet you in the foyer,” Jensen said.
Jared had to admit that the thought of seeing Jensen half naked was appealing as he waited for his guest to return. Once he did, black swimming trunks in hand, Jared had to resituate his jeans after he began leading Jensen around the house.
The tour ended in Jared’s bedroom, where he showed Jensen the en suite bathroom and told him he could change in there. Once the door closed behind him, Jared quickly shucked off his clothes and slipped into his loudly floral trunks that Chris made fun of every chance he got. So what if they were a little girly?
Jared’s breath caught a little when Jensen stepped out of the bathroom, his muscled chest no longer hiding under a cotton shirt. He also had very nice arms and strong looking legs. Jared cleared his throat when he realized he was staring. “Ready?” he practically squeaked. This was so not going how he wanted it to. Jared was supposed to be the irresistible one, not Jensen.
Things didn’t get much better after they went back out to the pool. Steve and Chris had disappeared, and Mike and Tom were in the shallow end making out heavily.
Glancing at Jensen, Jared suggested they soak in the hot tub for a while. “We can leave these horn dogs alone until they come up for air.”
Mike flipped Jared off, but his mouth never left Tom’s.
Twilight was falling, the sky turning brilliant shades of orange and purple as the sun sank into the horizon. Jared couldn’t help but think that it was a little romantic.
Jared and Jensen ended up sitting on benches across from each other in the warm water, a couple bottles of beer within reach on the ledge. Jared moaned with pleasure as his shoulders sank beneath the surface. He grabbed his beer and took a long pull. “This makes it all worth it, ya know?”
Jensen looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”
“Normally, I work pretty hard. I’m proud of my magazine, and I pour my heart and soul into it. A lot of the time I forget how to relax and how to have fun. Sure, the money is great, but I don’t schedule enough me time. Nights like this make it seem okay. Relaxing with friends, old and new,” Jared said, fixing his stare on Jensen.
“I guess I’m not as invested in my job as you are,” he replied. “It’s just a paycheck, and once I’m out of the office I leave it all behind. It isn’t what keeps me awake at night.”
“What does?”
“Well, I guess the part of me that I feel like I have to hide from my family,” Jensen said softly. “It’s hard to not be honest with them.”
Jared didn’t say anything right away. He knew immediately that Jensen was referring to his religious parents and his homosexuality, but he didn’t want Jensen to suspect that Jared knew anything about his personal life. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked gently, rubbing his foot against Jensen’s under the water.
“I’m a pastor’s son, and I like guys,” Jensen said, breathing out slowly.
“That must be rough. He has no idea?”
“I don’t think so. When I was a teenager I volunteered to go to Brazil to teach English to children there through a missionary program, and finish up my own schooling. I knew I was different, and I knew it was wrong in the eyes of God. But most of all, I knew it was wrong in the eyes of my father.” Jensen didn’t look up. “I had to get away.”
“In my opinion, love is never wrong,” Jared said.
“You’re right. I know that now, and for the most part I’m comfortable in my own skin, but that doesn’t mean I’m not terrified of him finding out. I just avoid it as much as I can. Maybe to protect myself?”
“Sounds like you’re protecting him, too, Jensen.”
A rueful smile played on his mouth. “Probably. But anyway, I haven’t really had a serious relationship with a man, so I haven’t been faced with bringing anyone home to meet my folks.”
“I’m very charming,” Jared quipped. “Maybe they wouldn’t notice that I’m a dude. You know, if we get that far,” he grinned.
He mentally scolded himself. Jared really liked Jensen, and starting a relationship with him was out of the question. He had a goal, and falling for the guy wasn’t part of it. Besides, he didn’t need to have a relationship with Jensen to get him into a photographable, compromising position. Imagining Jensen in a compromising position suddenly made his body take notice, and Jared was thankful for being submerged in the hot tub.
“What about your family?” Jensen asked.
“Not much to tell, really. My parents moved to the east coast a few years ago. We get along just fine, but I don’t see them all that much. They certainly like the money I send their way. They’re okay people, though.”
“You’re lucky,” Jensen said, looking up at Jared through his long eyelashes, causing Jared’s stomach to fill with butterflies.
“Need another beer?” he asked suddenly.
“Sure,” Jensen smiled.
“Be right back,” Jared said, lifting himself out of the water to jog over to the iced tub of bottles.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when Christian came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. “You two look cozy,” he said, sounding amused.
“That’s the plan,” Jared said, trying to make his smile look predatory. But inside, his gut was feeling something entirely different.
“Don’t kiss him tonight,” Chris advised. “Make him work for it; make him want you.”
“Since when did you become a gay love advice columnist?” Jared laughed.
Chris looked at him with satisfaction playing around his eyes. “Oh I know a thing or two about pretty much everything. Now come on. Steve’s starting up a bonfire. Go get your lover boy and join us.”
Jared padded over to the hot tub, grabbed a big fluffy towel from a rack and motioned for Jensen to get out. “This’ll keep you warm,” he promised.
The black fabric of Jensen’s shorts clung to his thighs as he stepped out of the water, and droplets were cascading down his chest, to his well-muscled abs. It was difficult for Jared not to grab him and run into the house for a different, naughty kind of tour of his bedroom. He smoothed the towel down Jensen’s arms, feeling his biceps. Maybe he was getting himself into big trouble.
They joined Chris and Steve, sitting side-by-side on a garden bench. Soon Mike and Tom appeared, prompting kissing noises and lewd hand motions from Chris. “About time, nymphos,” he scoffed.
“Your friends are cool, Jared,” Jensen said quietly so that only Jared could hear.
“They like you, too, I can tell,” Jared replied. “This might mean you’ll have to come around more often.”
“I’d like that. I really would,” Jensen said, then took Jared’s hand in his and wound their fingers together. “This okay?”
“More than,” Jared smiled, and felt his heart speed up.
Fuck. Definitely in trouble.
~*~
Txt Msg from: Jared
Get home okay?
Txt Msg from: Jensen
Safe and sound
Txt Msg from: Jared
Good. Sweet dreams, Jensen
Txt Msg from: Jensen
Guaranteed =)
~*~
January 25, 2009
Jensenrackles.blogger.com
Security Setting: Private
Today during church I couldn’t help but think about Jared, and how perfect his hand felt in mine last night. Then I was filled with guilt because my dad was up on the pulpit lecturing on being a faithful Christian, and I was daydreaming about a guy.
I’m so going to Hell.
Telling my dad who I really am is out of the question. He’d never speak to me again. My beliefs go against everything he’s ever taught me. All of my life it seemed like he wanted me to fear God, but I don’t think it’s that way at all. God made me as I am, and I think He loves me no matter what. I know Dad will never see it my way.
But back to Jared. He was wearing these ridiculous looking flowered swimming trunks, but they oddly suited him. When I was leaving for the night, he hugged me and told me he’d get in touch soon. I really hope he does…
Master Post | Part 2