cloud inn
cloud inn
teukbum | 49/100 | pg-13 | character death | 1,190 words
Not to sound cheesy or anything, but I stayed for love.
I never thought that I would stay in Korea for so long.
I lived in America. I was born in Seoul and moved when I was really young. My father kept my Korean up by talking to me at home, my mother was far too stubborn to learn English. English became my main language, but my accent stained my tongue, making people laugh at me, point names, ask me to speak just to laugh at my accent. I started impersonating English accents, trying my best to loose that disgusting voice that kept me away from the norm. That was maybe my first step into acting. Then drama club, then acting school and small roles as dancer and an extra in musicals and in movies. Then a secondary character in a play, up and farther up Broadway. But I never thought that I would be back in Korea for a long time.
I joined an action movie, throwing guns around and throwing myself in cold, crisp water. I ran away from explosions and tried to look as serious as possible. As a secondary character, I got more than a few Korean lines, forced to speak my ancient tongue. My parents watched the movie it came out in America, they applauded me and told me that they would welcome me when I arrived home. And I was about to. All up until a friend of mine, Choi Siwon from the movie, appeared at my door, asking if I'd be willing to do another Korean movie with him.
People on hit TV shows, whenever they welcomed me on their programs, all had a different reason to why I stayed in South Korea. Some said it was because of the culture. Sure, I enjoyed the alcohol and walking around the night market, trying out the spicy food I hadn't tasted in eons. Some said it was because of New Year's Eve that happened the weekend I was supposed to leave, Seoul all erupt in lights. Some said it was because of the boom on jobs and of want, and I guess that may have had a small impression on how long I stayed in Korea.
Not to sound cheesy or anything, but I stayed for love. I stayed for one of the caterers, who foolishly walked through the set, setting down food for the actors and smiling a single-dimpled smile that made my heart flutter. His blond tips that fell into his glittering eyes and that lightened up whenever he spoke. I tried to make him speak as much as possible. He didn't even need to try to make me laugh. I learned his name was Park Jungsu, but people called him Leeteuk because they considered him special.
I couldn't agree more.
I stayed a year with you, working on dramas to keep my popularity up, going on a few silly shows while I was at it. People learned of my secret talent of rapping, and whenever I rapped of love on shows, I always thought of you. When they asked if I had someone in my life, I knew I was ruining little girls' hearts when I replied, "Hopefully they'll say yes." Leeteuk hugged me fiercely, and for a moment, I forgot about everything. The only thing that really mattered was Leeteuk's arms around me and his lips so dangerously close. I don't know when our first kiss was shared: but I knew it was somewhere between you hugging me and our first love-making.
It was a cold December when I asked you to marry me. We would get married in America, I told you, I told you that anything was possible over the ocean. But you shook your head. You loved me but couldn't really love me yet. It was worse than being rejected, because I knew that you wanted to marry me, somewhere deep inside of you. It was so blatantly obvious that we were made to be. I returned home for a few weeks, desperate for my mother's love.
"I want you to stay forever," you told me at the airport when I returned, your head digging further into my shirt, staining it with tears. I hugged you, keeping my tears at bay as I put my face into your hair, taking in the familiar scent. "I will never leave, Teukie," I vow, squeezing your hips. I see a smile break out onto your face - you kiss me. Life is finally perfect. And there is no cameras to pin-point us into some rumor. If only life could have been like this.
We move in together. For a few weeks I have to deal with your old friend Youngwoon until he finds a place to stay, and I have to fight to get you alone, because he's always so demanding and possessive of you. "Am I possessive?" I asked you when Youngwoon went off to drink. You winked before stealing my lips. "It's fine, Bummie-ah." Your blond hair covers those dazzling eyes, and I brush them away, kissing your forehead before watching you go off to work. I have to wait to get a drive to the set from Siwon. The whole drive there I'm wondering how to make it up to you. You didn't like the expensive restaurant I brought you to. You didn't enjoy the expensive clothes. You didn't enjoy my protests.
"I never want you to leave," I tell you, grabbing your wrist as you watch me. The door's open. Your face is coated with tears. Your blond hair isn't covering your eyes, deep pools of hatred digging into my soul. You pull away from me, your face tainted with make-up. "You know nothing, Kibum." You make me seem like a child.
I don't know why I loved you so much to run into your parent's house and beg you to come back.
You get paler and you have to miss a few days of work because of how weak you become. I constantly tell you to go see a doctor, just to see why you've turned out like this. You shake your head, put on a sweet smile, and tell me it's alright. It's almost enough to make me forget, almost enough for me to say sure, it's fine. Sure, you can go another day at home, it'll get better. But it doesn't. The day you vomit blood is the day that I force you to go check. You come home crying.
"I want you to stay forever," I grip onto your hand and your eyes get cloudy. A smile passes on your face and you disappear behind the surgery doors.
- - -
I wanted you to stay forever but life always had a different opinion. Always wanted something different. Did they want me to find someone else, Leeteuk? I haven't found anyone else. There's only you. What are the angels saying, Leeteuk? Am I to marry an actress and make children with her? I doubt anyone will be as beautiful as you.
Where do angels go when they die, Teukie? Because you were already one when you went to check in at cloud inn.
teukbum | 49/100 | pg-13 | character death | 1,190 words
Not to sound cheesy or anything, but I stayed for love.
I never thought that I would stay in Korea for so long.
I lived in America. I was born in Seoul and moved when I was really young. My father kept my Korean up by talking to me at home, my mother was far too stubborn to learn English. English became my main language, but my accent stained my tongue, making people laugh at me, point names, ask me to speak just to laugh at my accent. I started impersonating English accents, trying my best to loose that disgusting voice that kept me away from the norm. That was maybe my first step into acting. Then drama club, then acting school and small roles as dancer and an extra in musicals and in movies. Then a secondary character in a play, up and farther up Broadway. But I never thought that I would be back in Korea for a long time.
I joined an action movie, throwing guns around and throwing myself in cold, crisp water. I ran away from explosions and tried to look as serious as possible. As a secondary character, I got more than a few Korean lines, forced to speak my ancient tongue. My parents watched the movie it came out in America, they applauded me and told me that they would welcome me when I arrived home. And I was about to. All up until a friend of mine, Choi Siwon from the movie, appeared at my door, asking if I'd be willing to do another Korean movie with him.
People on hit TV shows, whenever they welcomed me on their programs, all had a different reason to why I stayed in South Korea. Some said it was because of the culture. Sure, I enjoyed the alcohol and walking around the night market, trying out the spicy food I hadn't tasted in eons. Some said it was because of New Year's Eve that happened the weekend I was supposed to leave, Seoul all erupt in lights. Some said it was because of the boom on jobs and of want, and I guess that may have had a small impression on how long I stayed in Korea.
Not to sound cheesy or anything, but I stayed for love. I stayed for one of the caterers, who foolishly walked through the set, setting down food for the actors and smiling a single-dimpled smile that made my heart flutter. His blond tips that fell into his glittering eyes and that lightened up whenever he spoke. I tried to make him speak as much as possible. He didn't even need to try to make me laugh. I learned his name was Park Jungsu, but people called him Leeteuk because they considered him special.
I couldn't agree more.
I stayed a year with you, working on dramas to keep my popularity up, going on a few silly shows while I was at it. People learned of my secret talent of rapping, and whenever I rapped of love on shows, I always thought of you. When they asked if I had someone in my life, I knew I was ruining little girls' hearts when I replied, "Hopefully they'll say yes." Leeteuk hugged me fiercely, and for a moment, I forgot about everything. The only thing that really mattered was Leeteuk's arms around me and his lips so dangerously close. I don't know when our first kiss was shared: but I knew it was somewhere between you hugging me and our first love-making.
It was a cold December when I asked you to marry me. We would get married in America, I told you, I told you that anything was possible over the ocean. But you shook your head. You loved me but couldn't really love me yet. It was worse than being rejected, because I knew that you wanted to marry me, somewhere deep inside of you. It was so blatantly obvious that we were made to be. I returned home for a few weeks, desperate for my mother's love.
"I want you to stay forever," you told me at the airport when I returned, your head digging further into my shirt, staining it with tears. I hugged you, keeping my tears at bay as I put my face into your hair, taking in the familiar scent. "I will never leave, Teukie," I vow, squeezing your hips. I see a smile break out onto your face - you kiss me. Life is finally perfect. And there is no cameras to pin-point us into some rumor. If only life could have been like this.
We move in together. For a few weeks I have to deal with your old friend Youngwoon until he finds a place to stay, and I have to fight to get you alone, because he's always so demanding and possessive of you. "Am I possessive?" I asked you when Youngwoon went off to drink. You winked before stealing my lips. "It's fine, Bummie-ah." Your blond hair covers those dazzling eyes, and I brush them away, kissing your forehead before watching you go off to work. I have to wait to get a drive to the set from Siwon. The whole drive there I'm wondering how to make it up to you. You didn't like the expensive restaurant I brought you to. You didn't enjoy the expensive clothes. You didn't enjoy my protests.
"I never want you to leave," I tell you, grabbing your wrist as you watch me. The door's open. Your face is coated with tears. Your blond hair isn't covering your eyes, deep pools of hatred digging into my soul. You pull away from me, your face tainted with make-up. "You know nothing, Kibum." You make me seem like a child.
I don't know why I loved you so much to run into your parent's house and beg you to come back.
You get paler and you have to miss a few days of work because of how weak you become. I constantly tell you to go see a doctor, just to see why you've turned out like this. You shake your head, put on a sweet smile, and tell me it's alright. It's almost enough to make me forget, almost enough for me to say sure, it's fine. Sure, you can go another day at home, it'll get better. But it doesn't. The day you vomit blood is the day that I force you to go check. You come home crying.
"I want you to stay forever," I grip onto your hand and your eyes get cloudy. A smile passes on your face and you disappear behind the surgery doors.
- - -
I wanted you to stay forever but life always had a different opinion. Always wanted something different. Did they want me to find someone else, Leeteuk? I haven't found anyone else. There's only you. What are the angels saying, Leeteuk? Am I to marry an actress and make children with her? I doubt anyone will be as beautiful as you.
Where do angels go when they die, Teukie? Because you were already one when you went to check in at cloud inn.