Twenty-Six: In Which Klaus Nears Dangerous Levels of Fatherly Sap

[myblimpisbigger]

[Phone]

I must admit to being somewhat disappointed. Despite the usual slew of phone calls pointing out how obvious a trap this is, I have yet to see any evidence. Furthermore, my turkey has proved remarkably boring. I was expecting something at least as interesting as last year, but I suppose an infinite turkey loop was just too difficult for

Comments

[ACTION and totally overheard the phone call]

[worstvikingever]

[Staring at the turkey dissection.]

So... what, the holiday is just about being thankful for stuff and eating? At school they were saying something about... Indians and Pilgrims, whoever they were, I didn't really get it.

[Shh... shhh......]

[myblimpisbigger]

I have done a bit of research attempting to understand it myself, as where I come from the Americas are nigh impenetrable. From what I gather, the Pilgrims were people who settled the Americas, despite the fact that the Indians already lived there. The Pilgrims apparently had no idea how to take care of themselves and thus relied on the Indians whose home they had effectively stolen to provide them with food, for which they were apparently grateful despite not entirely deserving it.

It's strange what this reality considers a proper holiday.

[Hiccup, the turkey dissection is the coolest thing okay, don't hate. Klaus takes another swig of his beer and gets back to it. He's attempting to remove the wishbone. Do vikings have that particular tradition?]

[worstvikingever]

[No, no wishbones in viking tradition, just lots of roast birds. Hiccup's wary enough of the turkey, but it smells really good and he wants to try some despite his misgivings.]

Yeah, it kind of really is.

...you think it's really okay to eat?

[myblimpisbigger]

Others have been saying as much over the phones. I personally do not trust it, but it doesn't seem poisoned and I assure you, I would be able to tell.

[And there's the wishbone free! Klaus gets up to wash it in the sink.]

I don't suppose you have this tradition in Berk, but the Etruscans and later the Romans used to believe that this particular bone brought good luck. Superstitious, but entertaining.

action

[fineday4science]

Well, I'm thankful you're not the kind of dad that'll force me to sit down and watch football with him.

[As Dexter begins to stuff his face with the turkey. And the waffles. Why choose just one?]

[myblimpisbigger]

That would require me to have a basic knowledge of what football is.

[Beer and waffles is definitely better than turkey and waffles. One day you will learn, Dexter.]

[fineday4science]

That's even better! It's a thing you don't want to ever get into, for it is brutish and barbaric and from what i am seeing this town absolutely loves it.

I am honestly surprised with how things go in this town, that I have not been forced onto the field.

But I digress, I am grateful that this town has given me an adequate father figure who shares my love of the finer things in life.

[heardeadpe0ple]

I don't actually understand all this talk about the turkeys! [What is human Holidays, much less American.]

It sounds like that this place has been very good to you and your hiv-I mean home is full of good people!

[myblimpisbigger]

Well. I wouldn't say it has been good to me, but in terms of housemates, yes, one could make the argument that I have had it better than most.

[I mean, now that his evil brainwashing genocidal maniac of an ex-girlfriend isn't his wife anymore...

And he misses her.

Yeah this house is actually pretty messed up.]

Concerning the turkeys: today, from what I gather, is some sort of holiday in the time this town is modeled from. This holiday involves, among other things, eating turkeys. Last year said turkeys were poisoned, boobytrapped, and in some cases came alive and attacked those they were sent to. Thus, the immediate assumption that these turkeys are also likely to be more than they seem.

[heardeadpe0ple]

Oh. Good housemates is nice!

So this Holiday wants people to eat turkeys and be thankful. This is such a weird thing to celebrate! Are all Human holidays like this?

[She's is the most curious.]

[myblimpisbigger]

They all tend to promote a sense of good will, I think, to make up for the fact that most humans are self-serving and manipulative the rest of the time. As a species we are not the most generous, and so we arrange special days to prove that we are, so we can feel less guilty the rest of the year.

Human psychology is a fascinating thing, I have found. I take it you are another species entirely, yes?

[myblimpisbigger]

Most truths, I have found, are unpleasant.

[After all, it took the genocide of his country for him to realize exactly how bad he was at knowing whom to trust.]

But there were signs long before I came here that I had erred in my parenting practices. Just because my methods achieved the desired results did not make them the best. Certainly not the most conducive to a decent father-son relationship.

[ phone ]

[notalwystrthful]

Well, if you wish to grace us with your presence of salmonella, Escherichia coli, or anything else, then be my guest.

[ But, hey, she does listen to what he says. ]

... Though, I guess sometimes you have to roll with the punches, hm?

[myblimpisbigger]

I haven't actually eaten any, I'm not mad.

[...Yes you are, Klaus, that's practically the whole point of your character. Shh. Shhhh.]

And... yes. I suppose I have merely grown too used to punching back, as it were.

[notalwystrthful]

I'm sure.

[ There's a slight teasing tone in her voice, but that's all there is. ]

At least you have your fighting spirit.

[myblimpisbigger]

Often times that is all one has. It is good to maintain it, especially in a place like Mayfield, which to the best of my knowledge is intent on breaking us entirely.