Twenty-Two: In Which Klaus, Against His Better Judgement, Drinks the Milk

[myblimpisbigger]

[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF LARGE HAM.]

A; 729 Anderson

Comments

B;

[tiktoktibenoch]

Klaus? Are you quite alright? Goodness gracious, you don't... s-sound yourself.

[myblimpisbigger]

nonononononono... Ples?

[And suddenly the voice on the other end of the line is rainbows and flowers and sunshine and kittens.]

Ples! I have the most wonderful thing to tell you! I died yesterday, isn't that grand?

[tiktoktibenoch]

...

[ Is someone creeped out? You bet your sweet bippy. ]

I'm... s-sorry to hear that, Klaus. How did you... um, well, I don't want to push the subject if it's particularly... h-harrowing.

[myblimpisbigger]

[My sweet bippy has officially been bet.]

Oh, no, not at all! It's very funny, actually! Hiccup was droned, do you know, but for some reason he was very aggressive. I've never seen a drone act like that! He stabbed me right in the back.

[BRIGHT SMILES MARSHMALLOWS PUPPIES BUTTERFLIES]

B, via phone

[doofenstrudel]

[Kind of hard to ignore an overheard phone conversation that's THAT noisy. Especially the rantings of a fellow scientist.]

Get a hold of yourself! You're not the only scientist, and you're not alone in trying to find a way out! You're no test subject, so there's no reason to act like one!

...

Did you drink the milk?

[myblimpisbigger]

Yes I drank the milk! It was the only way to keep Hiccup from... from...

[And we're back to anger!]

He killed me, do you know that? Stabbed me right in the back! Ungrateful little WHELP! See if I save his life the next time he's got a demon trying to explode out of his head!

[To be fair, he didn't go that far towards saving Hiccup's life the first time that happened. But shh. Anger time is irrationality time.]

And what about you? Working towards getting us out, are you? HA! How far have you got? What do you have to show for it? I'm the only one in this town that knows what the RED FIRE HE'S TALKING ABOUT!

[doofenstrudel]

[And now this conversation is like an elevator with its strings suddenly cut. How exciting!]

You sound like you have an, er, very exciting home life! Eh, back stabbings, really, I can see why you're so upset. That's upsetting! But hey! It's in the past...

[There will be no bringing this under control, but he can at least enjoy the free-fall while it lasts.]

Of course I am! But having been here for only about a month, and having apparently lost my ability to make random household objects shoot scientifically-improbable rays, I've been a little hampered!

[Red fire?]

If you know what's going on, then you should pull all the smarty-science-guys together! Yes? Nothing can face the might of COMBINED SCIENCE!

[myblimpisbigger]

[Falling elevator conversations are the best sort! So harrowing!]

A month? A month? A month after I got here, I was saving lives and building up my lab! Are you seriously telling me that you're too lazy to have even worked around your powers being gone by now?

[Yes, red fire! It's a Very Commonly-Used Swear in early 1900s Europa, alright?

It is kind of a funny phrase, though. And speaking of funny -- apparently Klaus's mood has changed yet again. And Doof is hilarious.]

Combined science? You have got to be kidding! Do you know what it's like trying to fit more than one Spark in the same lab?

[He laughs.]

They fight like wet cats, man! Like wet cats in a vat of sulfuric acid being forced to listen to yodeling!

B:

[lunawolves10th]

What is the matter, brother? You sound disturbed.

[myblimpisbigger]

[Wow, Garviel, you're amazing. You managed to flip the switch back to BLAZING ANGER.]

I'm not disturbed, you're disturbed, you overblown, self-important excuse of a soldier!

[DELICIOUS RAGE LET ME SHOW YOU IT]

[lunawolves10th]

I am not, I just had some spiders for breakfast unfortunately.

You are clearly not yourself, so I shall forgive you your words... I need to speak with you anyway, there were... problems with your son, yesterday. I must apologize for my actions. He apparently murdered you.

I stopped him from murdering anyone else.

1/2

[myblimpisbigger]

He did murder me! Stabbed me right in the back, like the ungrateful, conniving little MONSTER he is! Pity you couldn't kill him permanently.

A

[worstvikingever]

[Hiccup woke up completely normal and remembering everything that happened yesterday, everything he wasn't aware of doing and couldn't stop himself even if he were. He slinks downstairs and peeks into the kitchen.]

...Klaus?

[myblimpisbigger]

[Slowly, Klaus looks up from his paper. He doesn't say anything; he doesn't have to. The livid expression on his face says more than enough. This is the sort of expression he'd turn towards Lucrezia, the sort of expression that could freeze blood and make entire small armies collectively wet themselves.]

[worstvikingever]

[Hiccup freezes. He seriously can't move. Oh gods. He didn't think... yeah, what he did yesterday was horrible, so horrible Hiccup can hardly even think about it, but he had hoped... that at least Klaus would be understanding.

Apparently that hope was misplaced.

All he could do was whisper.]

I'm sorry, Klaus.

[myblimpisbigger]

Sorry? You're sorry?

You killed me, Hiccup. Murdered me in cold blood for fun. You know, I've got some theories about droning,and one of the things I've noticed? Your personality never goes entirely away when you're droned.

[This isn't necessarily true, but it's hurtful, and right now, Klaus just wants to be as nasty as he possibly can. He's just. So. Angry.]

You wanted to kill me. Some part of you, deep down, enjoyed it. Am I correct?

B

[freedomofwomen]

[ Eva's voice has a rather agitated tone to it. She's sick and tired of this event and certain dronings piling up on her as well, so she's rather annoyed. ]

And how do you think screaming over the phone lines is going to change anything at all?!