Why am I letting this get to me?

[my_stitching]

Remember a few weeks ago I posted my frustration with one of the women in the 15th century War of the Roses group we are joining? It seems I am letting her get to me. I am not excited in the slightest about any of the outfits I need to create. Seriously... I would rather do the dishes! Or laundry! I have all of this hand work to do too. And I don't

Comments

[kass_rants]

I don't know what to tell you. This is difficult. It's only one person, but I've met that one person who can ruin a whole group for you. There are a few groups I never joined because of one person. I'm not afraid of confrontation either. But when there is one person who makes everything sour, it's hard to want to be around.

I'm afraid I'm not good at ignoring such people. And since confrontation isn't really going to get her to stop being the nasty jerk she clearly is, I don't know what advice to give you. So I will give you my empathy instead and hope that you figure it out.

And I wonder where she got this ridiculous "standard" of 18 stitches per inch. The only 15th century woman's garment I know that's extant with the stitches intact is the Moy gown and the stitches that hold it together come two or three to the inch!

I HATE pretentious people like her. My X-husband used to brag, "I handsew everything!" But his handsewing was so crappy that everything fell apart with one wearing.

[laracorsets]

You know your answers in your heart. If you will not enjoy your time with the group then you are likely wasting your time and money. You will not want to go if she is there. Talk to the others, I am sure they have been through this with many other newcomers who were scared away.

I also agree completely with Kass on the stitching. That may be her personal preference but it has absolutely no basis or documentation to support is as a fact. 15th century people hand sewed like those of today, some better then others.

[hai_kah_uhk]

At least your dishes and laundry are done.

:-D

[unclrashid]

Haven't got any enlightenment to add on your annoying person, but want to jump on the hansewing pulpit for a minute... I hate the handsewing fetish. Poorly researched, ill-fitting garb that is handsewn is just a waste of time and sewing it by hand doesn't imporve it. I think if you enjoy hand sewing or hate machines, then by all means, do it by hand. But it doesn't necessarily make a better product.

[eggies_red_dres]

I agree with this. Half of good garment manufacture is good cut, not the sewing method. The other half is finding the right materials for the job. Again, not a matter impacted by the assembly method.

[gabychka]

You may want to pull her aside and tell her how you feel when she comments. I've found that the best conflict resolution is to face it head on with an honest discussion. While she may not be open at first, just the comment might modify her behavior if she knows how she makes you feel.

While I never would recommend letting one person stop you from an activity, it's hard to do that when you simply aren't enjoying it, particularly when investing money and time.

Free time is such a commodity these days, it's good to invest it wisely, and into something from which you get big dividends.