Sex Disclaimer

[my_happy_places]

10:51 AM 1/1/09 · Funny thing is that I a was doing this list at the same time I was doing another entitled Sexual Quirks; not sure how I missed that. I deleted the ones on that one that were on this one and then combined the two.

• I'm a slut and proud of it.
• I am fundamentally straight.
• To date I've never found a man sexually attractive...with one brief little hiccup. I figure if I ever were to change or stretch my orientation that would have to be a factor. Any kind of attraction works with women.
• Not one to use the words whore or bitch as sexual terms of endearment. See no problem with slut, as I myself am a huge one, though I don't use it in that context either.
• "I'd hit it" has to be my least favorite term for having sex.
• People that have the wrong idea about me sarcastically refer to the number of women I've been with as my conquests. I have no conquests. I've just been lucky enough to have had the chance to pleasure a lot of women. Do I look like a Conquistador to anybody?
• Marilyn Manson is the God of Fuck. I am the God of Fudge...which goes a long way towards explaining the gut.
• I have no shame...except when I do. Everybody's got at least a little bit.
• I have a rather extensive library of goofy sexual terms.
• Usually when I'm on top I fuck from a sort of crouched position, balanced on my knuckles, knees, and toes. This gives me really good thrust control.
• I know there are guys who have sex with their legs at full extension so they're literally laying on top of who they're with. I've never been able to do that comfortably.
• Most of the women I've been with think I'm very well endowed. I think they're delusional or lack good depth perception.
• I've always had a phenomally high sex drive but it wasn't until recent years I became aware I'm addicted to sex. From 1992 to 1998 I was having an obscene amount of sex with numerous women. I largely attribute the addiction to this.
• I'm not a big fan of positions that make kissing difficult or impossible. Would seem that I'm wired a bit funny in that a good kiss has the effect on me that a blowjob has on most guys.
• I am never not in the mood. Periodically, I'm in no condition though.
• It has often perplexed me how I can have sex for seemingly endless hours but I can't run a mile without feeling like my chest is imploding.
• Often wonder why no one believes the 30 hour, non stop, sex story; especially considering most of it was intercourse. Then again, I can't believe it ½ the time and I was there.
• I'm not really into anal sex. It doesn't do much for me so I never offer it. I will do it if the lady in question requests it.
• Along with that last one, my butt is an exit passage only. Only time something goes in there is when I'm at the doctor's office and I'm not all that fond of the experience then either.
• There are levels of attraction. Physical attraction is what you see. Sexual attraction is totally of the mind. I've found women sexually attractive that I've never found so physically.
• I am not Don Juan DeMarco, nor am I the world's greatest lover...but I am devestatingly cute.
• While I don't particularly care if a woman goes down on me, I love dining on them. After passing a brief taste test first...
• I prefer a woman be shaved or, at least, trimmed. She may have hair above all she likes but not where I'm eating thank you very much.
• If you ever come across me referring to my "little problem" without an accompanying explanation...it is this: I don't orgasm during sex. I can on my own and 2 out of 116 (up till the time of this post) women have gotten me to climax but only during a single encounter each. Can get myself off just fine but even that takes an hour or more.
• Due to my lack of ability to climax when with someone else it may explain my mild obsession to ensure who I'm pleasuring has as many orgasms as possible.
• Unlike some people, I have no problem having sex with someone crazier than me. Straightjackets are kinky!
• I don't do money in exchange for sex. I don't do favors in exchange for sex. I don't have sex with someone that won't kiss me. All of these take away from a very personal aspect to sex I find essential.
• On the last part of the last one, there have been two women I had sex with I didn't kiss. The first was the reason I came up with this restriction and the other was one of my very best friends. I don't imagine I'll ever allow this kinda thing to happen ever again.
• While I resent the notion, many seem to have the impression that my sole purpose in life is to get a good piece of ass. This in no way means I do not appreciate a cute butt and its bouncy properties.
• I do not now, nor have I ever, understood the appeal of what's called "titty-fucking". Please don't ask me to try and explain it.
• I really like breasts. They're poofy!
• I really like cleavage too. I have absolutely no idea why!
• Sex is supposed to be fun. Fucking should be savage & frenzied. Making love should always be said with a horrible French accent!
• Kind of find it interesting when women say they want foreplay and the whole package but when they get things started they primarily go for immediate penetration. I've only known a couple of women like this but it still fascinates me.
• I'm not fond of most American porn as it gives the impression that sex is done when the man cums. I'm a little more lenient to the foreign varieties for a score of reasons but still down on them for this one point.
• I don't mind teeth during a blowjob.
• Depending what surface I'm on during sex, I often have to reposition because I'm sliding. There's barely more than a few seconds lost but it can throw the groove off a bit if things are getting intense.
• I've noticed when I'm aroused my perception of pain changes. It still hurts but that's not necessarily such a bad thing.
• I don't believe sex is limited to intercourse; all sexual acts are sex.
• I don't do sex dolls. Don't care how realistic they may feel, I like to be with an active participant. That and no matter how intense the sex is...I'm chatty.
• I've never used the services of a prostitute but I've hung out with a couple. I don't like strip clubs but strippers are okay by me and never boring. I'm currently seeing, however sporadically, a former stripper that's got one porn film credit to her name and is a lawyer in training.
• On that last bit, I don't goto strip clubs. Nothing wrong with them...they just don't really do it for me.
• One of the staples of my sexual philosophy is no oral sex on the first date. While I have broken this numrous times, too many tasty women in the world, I still think it's a good guideline.
• I don't particularly care for doggie style. I prefer froggy, which is about the same except the woman is more or less laying down flat.
• Any guy that tells you he can't get a condom on is either straight out lying or horribly uncoordinated. While different brands offer greater degrees of comfort, the cheapest and smallest condoms can still be stretched far enough to completely cover the average adult human skull. Admittedly, every once in a great while, I do run into complications in getting one on myself.
• Were it not for the fact the word is so generally considered female, I'd easily consider myself to be a nymphomaniac. Although, I do get a lil' bit crazy when with nymphomaniacs so maybe that kinda works too.
• If you're thinking of having sex with me, which I highly recommend even if only for the fact we'd be having sex, you have to accept one thing. It is highly unlikely, unless you can last longer than 8 hours...and possibly even then, that I will orgasm. You should not take this personally as most women can't get me to the happy place any easier than you.
• I am exceptionally uncomplicated and plainly spoken. If I say I'm sleeping with someone I'm referring to actual sleep.
• The only upside of my not orgasming during sex is that I can go for hours nonstop. Only downside of that is that the longer I live...the more women I find that can't, or aren't willing to, have sex for more than an hour or two.