Fic: Marauders’ Meeting for the Manufacture and Maintenance of Mischief - Oct 1
Title: The Marauders’ Meeting for the Manufacture and Maintenance of Mischief
Author: xkeijukainenx
Pairing: MWPP Gen (Remus/Sirius if you're really, really looking really, really hard.)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 773
Prompt: (if applicable) Day 1
Warnings: Purposefully slightly incoherent. :)
Summary: The Marauders return to Hogwarts for their 6th year. James looks for order, Peter doesn't say much, Remus is sarcastic and Sirius really just wants to be done so he can shag Madeline Griffiths behind greenhouse three.
"Ahem ahem ahem!"
“Merlin, Potter, you should see Pomfrey about that cough of yours.”
“Shut it, Black. Right lads. I hereby declare this, the first ‘Marauders’ Meeting for the Manufacture and Maintenance of Mischief’ of sixth year, in session. Roll call!”
“Seriously, James? Aren’t we getting old for this?”
“Remus Lupin, I am appalled at your lack of dedication to the ways of the Marauder. I’ve half a mind to motion for your exclusion from this and all further meetings.”
“Come off it, James.”
“Lupin! I’m warning you!”
“Alright, alright, Merlin it’s like you’ve grown backwards this summer. Okay. Remus Lupin, First Official Werewolf and Right Honorary Secretary and Most Important Taker of Notes, reporting for post-Summer duty.”
“Noted. Next!”
“Peter Pettigrew, Director of Espionage and Reconnaissance, present and reporting for duty.”
“Noted. Next.”
“Sirius Orion Black, Most High and Sovereign Marauder and Resident Sex Genius.”
“Hahaha, in your dreams, Black.”
“Bugger off, Potter. How’s your sex life anyways?”
“Fuck you, Black.”
“Honestly, the two of you have the collective brainpower of a Flobberworm on gillyweed.”
“Oooooooooh, Moony’s a bit moody today, Prongs. Moody Moony’s moody, moody Moony’s moody, moody Moony’s ... mmffff. OW! MOONY!”
“Brilliant, Moony!”
“Oi! Will the three of you desist?! We have serious business to deal with?”
“Yeah, like your mum.”
“Sirius!”
“James, you sound like a girl when you shriek like that.”
“Shut up, Pettigrew, or I’ll have Moony eat you next month.”
“Prongs, that’s not...”
“Aw, Moony, I was only kidding.”
“Right, Prongs, will you hurry this the fuck up? Madeline Griffiths is waiting for me behind greenhouse three and I don’t want a repeat of the Acadia Bignell fiasco...”
“Oooh, yeah, that was not pretty. Right. Item one. Each marauder to report their summer pursuits, with special reference to mischief caused and mayhem engendered. Pettigrew, we’ll start with you.”
“Right. Well. I managed to steal a pair of my neighbor’s knickers, you know, the really hot bird I told you about?”
“Ugh, Peter, really? That’s foul.”
“Wormtail, don’t listen to Moony! He’s just a massive, dried up prude. Were they lacy or just normal knickers?”
“I’ll show you prude, Pads.”
“Lads, lads. Well done, Peter, for general mischief. Anything else to report?”
“Uhm. I ... planted the begonias where my mum wanted petunias.”
“Wow, Wormtail... really pushing the subversion to the limits, there.”
“Now, Padfoot, don’t let’s belittle Wormtail’s achievements. Remus, your turn.”
“Well. I caused general uproar in the small village of Abbots Bromley by neglecting to wear a mac when out shopping in the rain. Also, I turned into a werewolf on occasion.”
“Right. Well. That’s... yes. Well. A little more effort, perhaps, next time.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s right, turning into a werewolf is remarkably like a walk in the park. Next time I’ll do something more painful.”
“That’s not what I...”
“Prongs, he’s being sarcastic. Can you honestly not tell by now?”
“Oh. Well. Right. Sirius, your turn to report.”
“Right. Drank lots, pranked my family, ran away from home... Can I go yet, Prongs, I really just want to shag this girl so I can sleep properly tonight, and making them wait for you is not conducive to shagativity.”
“Sirius, that’s not even a word, and honestly, your morals are ...”
“Non-existant? I know, isn’t it brilliant?!”
“Okay, lads, shut up a minute. Before we adjourn to allow the illustrious Sirius Black to get his rocks off, I have an announcement.”
“Ooh, Wormtail, get the popcorn out.”
“Remus Lupin, less sarcasm would be greatly appreciated.”
“Sorry, mum.”
“Hahaha, nice one, Remus.”
“Why thank you, Padfoot.”
“Shut up! This is important!”
“Fine, fine! Merlin’s mum on a stick, you’re annoying when you’re being bossy. What is so urgent that it can’t wait til I’ve had it off with Maddy?”
“The Marauder’s Map is nearing completion!”
“We know, James, we spent all summer owling it back and forth. And asking your mum clandestinely about tracing spells - for pies, if you recall, which by the way she didn’t believe one bit.”
“Well, I thought we should just make the announcement official, like. And, you know, all systems go so we can have it done a-sap.”
“It’s very exciting, James. Now, can you let Padfoot go before he wets the bed?”
“Alright. You lot are all bollocks, though.”
“Because we didn’t take this meeting seriously?”
“No, because you’re a lot of tossers.”
“Whatever, I’m off to get myself good and shagged.”
“Remus, fancy going to talk to Lily and Alice with me?”
“Not at all.”
“You’re no fun. Peter?”
“Eh. I was going to go down the kitchens...”
“Bollocks, the lot of you. Complete bollocks.”"
Author: xkeijukainenx
Pairing: MWPP Gen (Remus/Sirius if you're really, really looking really, really hard.)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 773
Prompt: (if applicable) Day 1
Warnings: Purposefully slightly incoherent. :)
Summary: The Marauders return to Hogwarts for their 6th year. James looks for order, Peter doesn't say much, Remus is sarcastic and Sirius really just wants to be done so he can shag Madeline Griffiths behind greenhouse three.
"Ahem ahem ahem!"
“Merlin, Potter, you should see Pomfrey about that cough of yours.”
“Shut it, Black. Right lads. I hereby declare this, the first ‘Marauders’ Meeting for the Manufacture and Maintenance of Mischief’ of sixth year, in session. Roll call!”
“Seriously, James? Aren’t we getting old for this?”
“Remus Lupin, I am appalled at your lack of dedication to the ways of the Marauder. I’ve half a mind to motion for your exclusion from this and all further meetings.”
“Come off it, James.”
“Lupin! I’m warning you!”
“Alright, alright, Merlin it’s like you’ve grown backwards this summer. Okay. Remus Lupin, First Official Werewolf and Right Honorary Secretary and Most Important Taker of Notes, reporting for post-Summer duty.”
“Noted. Next!”
“Peter Pettigrew, Director of Espionage and Reconnaissance, present and reporting for duty.”
“Noted. Next.”
“Sirius Orion Black, Most High and Sovereign Marauder and Resident Sex Genius.”
“Hahaha, in your dreams, Black.”
“Bugger off, Potter. How’s your sex life anyways?”
“Fuck you, Black.”
“Honestly, the two of you have the collective brainpower of a Flobberworm on gillyweed.”
“Oooooooooh, Moony’s a bit moody today, Prongs. Moody Moony’s moody, moody Moony’s moody, moody Moony’s ... mmffff. OW! MOONY!”
“Brilliant, Moony!”
“Oi! Will the three of you desist?! We have serious business to deal with?”
“Yeah, like your mum.”
“Sirius!”
“James, you sound like a girl when you shriek like that.”
“Shut up, Pettigrew, or I’ll have Moony eat you next month.”
“Prongs, that’s not...”
“Aw, Moony, I was only kidding.”
“Right, Prongs, will you hurry this the fuck up? Madeline Griffiths is waiting for me behind greenhouse three and I don’t want a repeat of the Acadia Bignell fiasco...”
“Oooh, yeah, that was not pretty. Right. Item one. Each marauder to report their summer pursuits, with special reference to mischief caused and mayhem engendered. Pettigrew, we’ll start with you.”
“Right. Well. I managed to steal a pair of my neighbor’s knickers, you know, the really hot bird I told you about?”
“Ugh, Peter, really? That’s foul.”
“Wormtail, don’t listen to Moony! He’s just a massive, dried up prude. Were they lacy or just normal knickers?”
“I’ll show you prude, Pads.”
“Lads, lads. Well done, Peter, for general mischief. Anything else to report?”
“Uhm. I ... planted the begonias where my mum wanted petunias.”
“Wow, Wormtail... really pushing the subversion to the limits, there.”
“Now, Padfoot, don’t let’s belittle Wormtail’s achievements. Remus, your turn.”
“Well. I caused general uproar in the small village of Abbots Bromley by neglecting to wear a mac when out shopping in the rain. Also, I turned into a werewolf on occasion.”
“Right. Well. That’s... yes. Well. A little more effort, perhaps, next time.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s right, turning into a werewolf is remarkably like a walk in the park. Next time I’ll do something more painful.”
“That’s not what I...”
“Prongs, he’s being sarcastic. Can you honestly not tell by now?”
“Oh. Well. Right. Sirius, your turn to report.”
“Right. Drank lots, pranked my family, ran away from home... Can I go yet, Prongs, I really just want to shag this girl so I can sleep properly tonight, and making them wait for you is not conducive to shagativity.”
“Sirius, that’s not even a word, and honestly, your morals are ...”
“Non-existant? I know, isn’t it brilliant?!”
“Okay, lads, shut up a minute. Before we adjourn to allow the illustrious Sirius Black to get his rocks off, I have an announcement.”
“Ooh, Wormtail, get the popcorn out.”
“Remus Lupin, less sarcasm would be greatly appreciated.”
“Sorry, mum.”
“Hahaha, nice one, Remus.”
“Why thank you, Padfoot.”
“Shut up! This is important!”
“Fine, fine! Merlin’s mum on a stick, you’re annoying when you’re being bossy. What is so urgent that it can’t wait til I’ve had it off with Maddy?”
“The Marauder’s Map is nearing completion!”
“We know, James, we spent all summer owling it back and forth. And asking your mum clandestinely about tracing spells - for pies, if you recall, which by the way she didn’t believe one bit.”
“Well, I thought we should just make the announcement official, like. And, you know, all systems go so we can have it done a-sap.”
“It’s very exciting, James. Now, can you let Padfoot go before he wets the bed?”
“Alright. You lot are all bollocks, though.”
“Because we didn’t take this meeting seriously?”
“No, because you’re a lot of tossers.”
“Whatever, I’m off to get myself good and shagged.”
“Remus, fancy going to talk to Lily and Alice with me?”
“Not at all.”
“You’re no fun. Peter?”
“Eh. I was going to go down the kitchens...”
“Bollocks, the lot of you. Complete bollocks.”"