Comments | mwpp_mischief: Mischief Managed ♦ Fic: Concrete

mischief_mods in mwpp_mischief

Mischief Managed ♦ Fic: Concrete

Mar 09, 2011 09:42

Title: Concrete
Author: ohkaye
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,014
Prompt: 124. Brothers on a Hotel Bed, Death Cab for Cutie
Warnings: None.
Summary: A night in Remus' house leads to memory and the asking of questions long avoided.
Author's Notes: I am a sucker for a happy ending, even when it appears no part of the prompt lends itself to ( Read more... )

submission: fic, length: 1k-5k, fest: mm, rating: pg, p: remus/sirius

Comments 13

liebedance March 14 2011, 15:16:09 UTC

So, I really liked this piece. The writing style was very unique - fluid, ebbing and flowing, almost like prose poetry at some parts, and it just felt so right. I'm really impressed at how you managed to drift seamlessly between Remus' and Sirius' thoughts and POVs without it being confusing, especially at the beginning.

Remus doesn't believe in God and he doesn't believe in angels, but he believes that maybe Sirius was given to him by someone who wanted to apologize, and now here he is in front of him again explaining exactly how well he still knows him after all this time and all this space, and it is this more than anything else that convinces Remus they can mend it: this chasm between them, this horrible insurmountable black thing, is just something to be slowly eroded.I especially liked that, because it just seemed so right. There was metaphysical imagery, if that makes sense. Which I'm sure it doesn't. And usually I'd die from the sheer length of the sentence, but you wrote it in such a way that I didn't get lost or bogged ( ... )

ohkaye May 3 2011, 03:45:15 UTC

Thank you so much! I always worry about whether or not a shifting POV is coherent, and I'm glad it came across.

alyce_angel March 21 2011, 00:16:58 UTC

Oh. You've managed to capture everything I love about R/S- all the hurt, and the angst, and the happier, carefree times, and the way that no matter what happens, they just *fit*- and spin it into the most gorgeous thing I've read in a long time.
The ending killed me, btw. There's so much hope in that one sentence!
*adds to memories*

ohkaye May 3 2011, 03:45:40 UTC

Thank you, thank you! Ahh I'm so pleased you liked it enough to add it to your memories <3