The Space Between Us- Chapter 7

[mutantwrites]

CHAPTER 7: Through the Darkest of Your Days

Back to Chapter 6

"Does the Fleet know who the Five are?"

Pain coursed through Felix's limbs, like fire racing up and down each nerve. His back arched and a scream tried to rip from his throat, even as he fought it. He tried to hold on to something, but there was nothing to grip on the smooth surface under his hands.

The pain eased, and the red blur in front of his eyes faded until he could see Cavil looking down at him. "Does the Fleet know who the Five are?" Cavil repeated.

Felix pressed his lips shut, because otherwise he'd tell him. He took a deep, shaking breath and tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere. When this had begun, he'd tried thinking of Louis, but he'd found that that didn't work during the torture. It was only a comfort after, when he was back in the cell and the others were asleep. Imagining himself on the Galactica didn't work, and neither did anything from Picon. So he cast his mind back to New Caprica, calling up the cold and the anger and the fear and the hate, because that was the only thing that took him away.

"I'm getting tired of asking this," Cavil told him, picking up the electrode. "Do the Fleet know who they are?"

Felix didn't answer, and the pain began again. New Caprica, he thought. New Caprica. And this time he could taste the cold air on his tongue, smell the settlement, and feel the ground under his two feet. The wind whipped through, stirring up dust and kicking the tents. A silhouetted form hunched over as he hurried by, turning up its coat collar and trying to block out the wind.

"This is how you escape?"

The voice was real. Real, female, and familiar. Felix turned to look, and his eyes widened. Dee was standing beside him, her BDU jacket wrapped around her, her hands shoved in her pockets as she looked at the settlement and the wind teased her hair.

"Dee?" he said incredulously. "You're dead."

"And you're not on New Caprica, either," she pointed out. She looked around. "Why New Caprica?"

"It works," he said. It was funny. With Dee here, the pain faded into something… like a part of his mind was still screaming, but the rest of him was far distant. New Caprica became more real, more solid by the second. "I don't know why, but it works. But why are you here? You were never even on New Caprica. Not for long, anyway."

Dee considered for a long moment before answering. There was something about her, something that Felix couldn't put his finger on, but she was different than the Dee he'd known. Not more confident, not more serene… more calculating, that was it. "You'll figure it out, I guess," she said eventually.

He nodded absently, and then reached out a tentative hand. He had to touch her… had to see if… Dee noticed, and she reached out too, her fingers lacing through his.

And somewhere, out of his mind and back in reality, he finally screamed.

***

The Four hadn't examined Sarah in a while, and she was hardly surprised when he came for her.

"It's a delicate balance," he explained as they walked to the examination room. "We don't want to poke and prod too much, especially in the early stages. But at the same time, we want to make sure the baby's healthy."

"Right," she said sourly. She studied him out of the corner of her eye. Like all the Fours, he wore that smooth, amiable, professional mask that often his what he was thinking. "If you were so concerned about the baby's health, you wouldn't be keeping me in that cell."

He smiled. "The Eight that now calls herself Agathon bore Hera in a cell. And by all reports, the child is remarkably healthy."

She swore to herself.

He found the fetus much more easily this time, either because he knew where to look or because she was further along. She was losing track of the hours and the days, not being linked in to any sort of datastream.

"Looks good," he said, finally pulling away. "In another few weeks we should be able to see the heart."

Sarah swallowed hard. For some reason, just hearing the Four refer to a heart made it feel so much more real. "I don't understand," she heard herself saying.

The Four was preparing a needle and syringe. "You don't understand what?" he asked.

"Why me? What was so special about me that I got pregnant?"

"That's part of what we're hoping to find out. Believe me, this has only just begun." His face was serious as he slipped the needle into her vein.

"Do you really think it has anything to do with love?" Sarah asked. The Four didn't answer, just focused on her blood flowing into the vial. "You don't, do you?" she asked quietly.

"She did get pregnant, you know," the Four said. "On New Caprica."

"She did?" Sarah accessed her memories of that time, and then extended her search to shortly after. And yes, now that the Four mentioned it, she remembered whispers about her sister being pregnant. But some people said they were rumors, and… "It was a hybrid child," she remembered.

The Four nodded. "It made people believe that she loved him. But she didn't. She loved me, and I loved her. I don't think anyone ever believed that, but I know the validity of the statement. She couldn't stand him."

"Who?" She was almost sure she knew.

He looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. "Gaeta." He withdrew the needle and placed a small patch of gauze over the wound. "Hold that."

Sarah obeyed, turning the implications over in her mind. She looked at the Four, calm and logical, with clean lines and structure, and she thought of Gaeta. Gaeta, who was messy and coming apart at the seams, a ball of pent up emotion and anger and grief. She nodded absently. "She miscarried though, right?"

He shrugged. "When one considers all of the divisions and recombinations that must occur in order for a fetus to come to term, it's mind boggling that there are any babies at all. But yes, I'm not quite sure what to make of this particular data."

It seemed odd that he was willing to talk to her about it. Sarah thought that that might be the most interesting data of all. He didn't look at her face as he taped the gauze pad down on her arm. "You're all done. Everything seems to be progressing as it should."

"Thank you."

"They'll take you back to your cell." He walked over to the wall and touched the datastream, and she saw that concentration. And as she left, he didn't look at her at all.

Gaeta was insane if he thought this was going to work.

***

He was back in the cold bleakness of New Caprica, and Dee had been waiting for him. Today she was wearing a black coat with a thick gray muffler. She looked lovely and serene, waiting for him outside his tent. He pulled the flap aside and let her in.

"This was your home?" Dee asked, looking around.

"You never saw it, did you?" Felix answered. He winced and rubbed at his shoulder and arm. "That one hurt." Somewhere far away he could see Cavil leaning over his spasming body, electrode in hand.

Dee took his elbow, bringing him more firmly back to the projection. "Were you happy here at all?" she asked.

Felix frowned. "A few times," he said. "Galen visited me here, you know. Back before the occupation, when we were really friends. We had a few drinks, talked about the union. But mostly I just slept here. All of my happiness was on Colonial One."

"Baltar?" Dee asked, far more sympathetically than she might have in life.

"Some. And Zarek. Don't even say it," he warned, but Dee just smiled.

"That's the thing about being dead," she said. "It does sort of grant a greater understanding. I'm glad you had that friendship, Felix."

"Or I desperately want you to understand, so my subconscious is adding that as I hallucinate you," he said wryly.

"No. I'm real," Dee said. She walked over to the desk. As she opened the drawers idly, Felix noticed that they were empty.

"There's a reason we're here, isn't there?" he asked her.

There was a piece of paper on the work surface of the desk. Dee picked it up and read it. She turned and handed it to him, her face pale and stricken.

It was a death list.

Felix had only ever seen one official death list, but the sight was forever emblazoned on his brain. He took this one from Dee's cold hand, and slowly dropped his eyes to study it more carefully. It didn't take long for the meaning to sink in… on it were the names he'd given his Eight.

The projection faded, and he saw Cavil watching him as he screamed.

***

"Gaeta." Brooks knelt down beside the man and turned him over. "Are you okay, LT? Sir?" He drew back suddenly, and stared at his hand. "Oh gods…"

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked. She glanced over his shoulder, and saw that the palm of his hand was smeared with blood. As painful as Cavil's tortures were, neither man ever came back with blood flowing. "Where's it coming from?"

"It looks like his ear," Brooks said.

"That can't be good," Sarah said, and Brooks shuddered. "He's getting angrier."

"Maybe we've misjudged how long he's willing to let us live," Brooks said, going pale.

Sarah looked down at Gaeta, and then back up at Brooks. She couldn't say that she'd particularly grown to like either of them, but she was mildly surprised to find she did care if they lived or died. It was strange to know that. Brooks didn't register her pensiveness; he was too busy trying to figure out if Gaeta was okay.

They heard footsteps.

"Not already," Brooks whispered, and Sarah put a hand on his arm.

"Calm down. It's probably the Four." She tensed, waiting, praying to God that she was right. But it was a shock when she saw the face of an Eight she'd once considered a sister, a part of her. "Boomer."

Ellen had been sitting on the bed, watching silently. She stood now, taking in the Eight. "Boomer," she said, smiling. "It's been a while."

"I didn't quite believe Cavil," Boomer said, her eyes fastened on Sarah, who stood up. "Is it really true? That you're pregnant?"

Sarah nodded. Boomer took a tentative step forward, and then another. She reached out and placed her hand on Sarah's still-flat belly. For a moment, her face flashed wonder, and then she turned away.

"It can't be real."

Sarah shrugged, feeling sick to her stomach. She never even should have let this traitor near her, much less near her baby. She knelt back down beside Gaeta, who was lying on the floor. "He needs medical attention," she told Boomer stiffly.

Boomer knelt on Gaeta's other side, taking in his face. Her eyebrows went up. "Felix?" she asked.

To Sarah's surprise, Gaeta's eyelashes fluttered open. "Sharon?" He stared at her, and the realization changed his face. "Boomer."

"It's me."

Gaeta closed his eyes again, growing. "The names," he said. "Dee showed me the names."

"That's he first thing he's said since he's come back," Sarah told Boomer, but Boomer looked as confused as she felt. Gaeta closed his eyes again.

Boomer sat back on her heels, looking over at Ellen. "Dee showed him?" she asked.

Ellen shrugged. "He keeps talking about Dee."

"They're very close."

"Were," Brooks corrected. "They were very close. Dee's dead. He's been hallucinating her."

"That can't be good," Boomer said, frowning.

"What do you care?" Sarah asked. "You've sided with Cavil now. All your lofty talk about understanding humans and living in peace… and here you are, nothing but a machine."

"And that's all you are as well. The difference between us is that you see it as a sort of defect," Boomer said. She was trying to maintain a cool demeanor, but underneath it was cracking. She turned away from Sarah and looked back at Brooks. "I know you." Brooks nodded. "You always fixed my scrubbers when I'd damage them in my landings. And you'd never tell Chief."

"Yes. And then we found out what you really were, and all those good times were gone. Thanks for the stroll down memory lane."

Boomer looked troubled. "I'll get the Four," she said finally. "But I'm not sure how much he'll be able to do for Felix." She glanced anxiously at Ellen, and Ellen smiled in approval.

Not for the first time, Sarah wondered what pressure Cavil was using on Ellen, and for what purpose. He didn't appear to be torturing her, at least not like he did with Gaeta and Brooks. And yet, Ellen was most definitely a prisoner. But while Ellen had been extremely forthcoming, she hadn't mentioned much about that.

"Boomer," Brooks said, his voice hard and angry. "Didn't expect to see her here."

"She sided with the Ones," Sarah replied, equally hard. "She cast her lot in with them, and now she has to live with her decision."

They exchanged glances, a moment of solidarity that neither of them were expecting. Ellen cleared her throat, and Sarah turned to her. "How long has she known about you?"

"You're asking me about time?" Ellen laughed. "Before you came here, but not the entire time I've been here. But for a long time." She sighed. "Those choices, that free will we gave you… it can come back to bite one in the ass."

"Well, why didn't you tell me?" Sarah demanded. "She's… she's my… you and I… why?"

The mirth left Ellen's face. "I keep my own counsel, Sarah."

"What else aren't you telling me?" Sarah demanded. "You hid the fact that she's here-"

"You should have known that."

"And that she talks to you. That you've had contact with her. What else are you hiding? Where else do you go when Cavil takes you out of this cell? Frak, should I even be trusting you?"

Brooks put a hand on her arm, but Sarah shook it off, glaring at Ellen. Ellen held her gaze easily, her arms crossed as she drew herself up. "Whether you trust me or not is your own decision," she said haughtily. "I can't do anything else to convince you otherwise. But the people I love are back there on that Fleet, the same as you, and our end goal is the same. We both want to rejoin the Colonial Fleet. I think that's quite enough to be going on."

Sarah looked at Brooks, but before he could say anything they heard footsteps again, and Boomer returned with the Four. Sarah stepped back as he knelt down by Gaeta. They waited in silence.

"He'll be okay," the Four finally said. "It's not as bad as it appears. Boomer said that he said something?"

"He said that Dee- one of the humans- showed him the names."

"The names?" The Four sat back on his heels and got very still.

"Babble," Sarah dismissed.

"No. Not babble." The Four looked down at Gaeta, and squeezed his arm. "This Dee… who is she?"

"She's no one special," Ellen said. "But she and Gaeta were very close before she died."

"Was she on New Caprica?"

"No. I don't believe she was."

"Then how could she know?" he wondered.

"Know what?" Sarah asked, although she already knew the answer.

"The names… my Eight was getting them from Gaeta. It was her mission." He looked deeply disturbed.

"The mission that got her pregnant," Sarah muttered. She glanced down at Gaeta again, and couldn't help a shiver of disgust that he'd let himself be taken advantage of so easily. "No wonder you believed that she never loved him."

Brooks and Ellen exchanged glances, and Boomer looked uncomfortable. The Four simply shook his head.

"I'm guessing that some psychological trauma is occurring," he said. "I suspect, Gaeta being what he is, he did not fully realize that the names he was giving us were people that we were eliminating. At least, he never consciously realized it. But he must have had some idea, some hint, and I would imagine he's flipped off that circuit in his mind and deluded himself into believing it didn't happen."

"She said she never helped him," Sarah said. "When we were brought here. She almost told him."

"She said enough that he couldn't keep it down anymore," the Four mused. "I see. And he's conjuring this… this avatar in the form of someone he trusts to help ease him through it." He shrugged.

"Or it's possible that she's a messenger from God," Ellen said. Brooks snorted, and even Sarah and the Four stared at her skeptically. "Stranger things have happened," Ellen said.

"Have you ever seen a messenger from God?" the Four asked.

"Yes," Ellen smiled. "On Earth, before the attacks. And he looked like you."

"I'm hardly a-"

"We designed the Fours to look like the messenger that had spared our lives, Saul and I."

"You… you designed…" the Four stared at her incredulously.

"Yes," Ellen said. "That's where several of the humanoid models got their form from. Saul and I saw a messenger that looked like a Four, Galen and Sam saw one that they tried to recapture in an Eight. Tory saw one that looked like a Three. But that's neither here nor there. The real question is, how is he controlling you?" Ellen asked the Four. "How is he buying your silence to the rest of your model? I can't imagine that it's anything like with Boomer, here." She glanced sidelong at the Eight, who looked down.

The Four stiffened. "I don't need to tell you that."

Ellen raised her eyebrows. "It's Sarah, isn't it? He told you that he's kept a download of your Eight's memories, and after Sarah gives birth or miscarries, he'll wipe her mind and give her your Eight… and you'll have her back."

Sarah's stomach lurched dangerously, and the Four only looked away, his lips pressed together so hard that they turned white.

"That's… that's sick," Brooks said. "That's just not right."

"It won't really be her, you know," Ellen continued. "It doesn't work that way."

"Keep Gaeta lying down for a while, if he tries to get up," the Four said. "And wake him up periodically. If I'm wrong about the damage that Cavil did, then he's bleeding inside his head, and he won't last much longer." He grabbed Boomer's arm. "Come on," he ordered. "You're wanted elsewhere."

Sarah didn't realize that she was shaking until Ellen put an arm around her. "He can't do it, Sarah," she said. "It won't work out right."

"But he doesn't believe that, and he'll try. He'll try… and then there will be nothing left of me." Sarah looked at Ellen. "You've had your memories taken from you. You know what that feels like."

"Yes," Ellen said. "And yet, despite the fact that he took them… Saul and I still found each other. There were billions of men to choose from, and I still chose Saul. He couldn't take it all." Ellen's face hardened. "But yes, he took more than enough."

Sarah sat down on her bed, hugging her arms. "Hey," Brooks said, "let's look at it another way, okay? The Four was really upset when Ellen said it wouldn't work. We've got our in with him. We found a chip- with the gods' help, we can get him to turn on Cavil."

"With the gods' help," Sarah echoed sourly. She glanced over at Gaeta, who was still unconscious. "Your gods had better work fast, because he doesn't have much time. And if I miscarry, I don't, either."

***

Felix and Brooks had pooled the three socks they had between them, washed them in the head, and tied them into a ball. They then sat on the floor, leaning against opposite walls and counted how many times they could toss the ball back and forth without missing. Their current record was two hundred and ninety four.

"You know what bothers me about all this?" Brooks asked, tossing the sock ball.

"What specifically?" Felix returned.

"Have you noticed that, on a physical level, our lives are better as prisoners of war than they were when were in the Fleet?"

"No algae, plenty of sleep, soap, toilet paper, and clean water, and I've actually been off my leg," Felix agreed. The ball went back and forth between them with an easy rhythm. "The thought has occurred to me. Although I wouldn't mind some pain meds for my leg. And maybe a little less physical torture."

"Your leg still hurts? You haven't said anything."

Felix shrugged. "What's the point? It's hard enough all of us being stuck in here without me complaining about it." He sighed. "But yeah. It still hurts."

Brooks didn't answer, probably because there was nothing to say. Instead, he looked over at Sarah. She was sitting, her knees pulled up to her chest, staring into space. "She's been awful quiet since Ellen figured out what they're going to do with her," he said.

"Wouldn't you be? Having everything ripped away from you like that?"

"Well, yeah. But still. She doesn't seem the type to give up."

Sarah looked up. "I'm not giving up," she informed them. "God, you two really think I can't hear you? I'm sitting right here!"

"We didn't think you were listening," Felix said.

"I do have ears and they function just fine," Sarah snapped.

Brooks tossed the sockball at her, and she caught it reflexively. "So, any idea of what they're doing with Ellen?"

Sarah shrugged. "I don't think he's torturing her, although I've yet to figure out why."

"There's got to be a line that he won't cross somewhere," Felix mused.

Sarah stared at him in disbelief. "You really think that? About Cavil?"

No. He thought he saw Dee out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't turn his head to look. Instead, he just shrugged. "It's about the only reason I can come up with."

"Or he can't run the chance of the others finding out," Brooks corrected with a note of sternness in his voice. "If they find out that he's been holding one of the Final Five, they probably won't like it, but they'll adapt. If he finds out they've been torturing someone that they practically worship…"

"Unless he gets desperate," Sarah said.

"Do you have any idea what he wants?" Gaeta asked.

"It's not like he's sat down and told me, and Ellen's keeping her own counsel," Sarah said bitterly. She couldn't believe how much that still hurt. "But a logical guess would be that he either wants to create more models of Cylons or recreate the resurrection technology. The Five put both in place."

"I didn't know that," Brooks said as he caught the ball and sent it flying towards Felix.

"Me, either," Felix said.

"I just found out myself."

"Anything else about Cylon history we should be aware of?" Brooks asked, his eyes narrowing. "Like why there are models One through Six and Eight, but no sevens?"

He said it mockingly, but Sarah looked down, and Felix gripped the ball. "You're kidding," he said. "You know? When I asked Caprica Six, Boomer, and her on New Caprica, they all swore they didn't know."

"Ellen told me," Sarah admitted. "She said John destroyed the Daniels- the Sevens- because he was jealous."

Felix's brow furrowed. "And what else have you and Ellen been talking about?"

"It's not necessarily all your business," Sarah said.

"I wouldn't know. It's not like you've been giving us any insight into the matter." He threw the ball to her.

"And how does knowing that there used to be Sevens change what you know about Cavil? Forgive me, but I figured your little torture sessions with him had already clued you into the fact that he's a sadistic creep. Cylon history doesn't concern you."

"Well, technically, it does," Brooks pointed out, "since humans created Cylons."

Sarah threw the ball with more force. "Not exactly something to be boasting about in here."

"Fine, since the Cylons frakking destroyed humanity."

"We saw the error of that decision. We came to New Caprica to build an era of peace."

The lists seared into vivid fire in Felix's mind. "Peace?" he said. "You really think we had peace on New Caprica?"

"I didn't say it worked," Sarah snapped. "But it was meant to."

"Might have had a better chance if you weren't killing off humans left and right," Felix sneered.

"You were the one handing them over to us," Sarah pointed out. Felix stared at her.

"No I wasn't," he said. "Baltar-"

"Speaking of things that were never mentioned…" Brooks said. Felix turned at attack from this unexpected quarter. "What the frak were you thinking?"

"I wasn't the one thinking. Baltar surrendered to them, not me."

Brooks stared at him. "I'm not talking about that," he said slowly. "I'm talking about trusting a Cylon. Frakking her."

His stomach dropped out and he stared at Brooks, his mouth nearly hanging open. "How do you know that?"

Brooks shrugged. "It wasn't that hard to guess, and the Four confirmed it. Wouldn't have thought it of you."

He remembered nights on New Caprica with the Eight… punctuations in long, lonely, fear-filled days. She'd been… he didn't know. He'd never envisioned a future with her. He'd done his best not to even think about her when he was back on Galactica.

The names, Dee whispered in his mind. The lists. He turned his head sharply to the side, but she wasn't actually there.

"She…" Felix began slowly, "she was kind. Or I thought she was. I…" he couldn't say much more, because the truth was he'd told himself this was significant and it had been, even if it was too messy to untangle.

"She used you," Brooks said simply.

Felix shook his head. "No," he denied. "There was no reason for her to. It doesn't make sense."

"You were the Chief of Staff to the President of the Colonies."

"Not exactly a position of power when the Cylons came."

"Not power. Information."

"Of which the Cylons had access to on their own." His heart was speeding up and his palms were beginning to sweat. Brooks was watching, his mouth a straight line and his eyes dull and hard as he tossed the sockball from hand to hand, still sitting with his back to the wall. "Why are you doing this?" Felix asked.

"He didn't know," Sarah said, looking at Brooks. "He doesn't know about it all."

Felix looked at Sarah and heard himself asking it. "What don't I know?" The words fell in distinct droplets from his lips.

Sarah opened her mouth, but before she could respond the Centurions came in, leading Ellen. She looked flustered but unharmed, and extremely agitated. Cavil smirked at her as she stepped back into the cell with as much dignity as she could manage, and then nodded at the Centurions.

Felix swallowed hard as they approached, blind fear almost overwhelming him. He bit his own tongue and raised his chin, because he was not going to beg. Not now, not ever. One of the Centurions gripped his arm and hauled him to a standing position, and then committed that incredible humiliation of throwing him over one shoulder. The others looked away out of courtesy, and Felix closed his eyes.

It was terrifying, humiliating, and he knew that hours of pain were in front of him. And yet, he couldn't help but be relieved that Sarah had never gotten a chance to answer his question.

***

"Maybe we shouldn't push him," Brooks temporized. "We should probably both shut the frak up about New Caprica."

"Everyone paid for what they did on New Caprica, on both sides," Sarah said. "There's no reason that Gaeta should be any different."

"Well, that's just the thing," Brooks said. "I think he's been paying ever since he got back on board Galactica."

"He played both sides," Sarah said with a shrug. "He'll pay a worse price than most. That's what happens."

"What did New Caprica cost you?" Brooks asked her. "If everyone paid, what was your price?"

She thought of New Caprica, of the cold and the stink and the rain… and Jesse's face smiling at her as they made their vows alone on a river bank, in the presence of a One. She'd come so close to losing that, to losing everything she had.

"It's not your business," she told Brooks. "But believe me, I paid, too."

***

This time the settlement was empty, the aftermath of the rescue. Even the Cylons had abandoned it. The wind kicked up dust, whistling through the spaces between the tents.

"It's eerie," Dee said.

"Says the hallucination that tells me she's a messenger of God."

"Come on."

"Where?" Felix asked, but Dee took his hand. Their feet crunched in the dust, the sounds loud in his ears. It amazed him how this could seem so real, rendering the pain his corporeal self was feeling almost irrelevant. He clung to Dee's hand as she led him through the broken city.

They came to the edge of the settlement, and a hole opened up before him. He looked down into it and then drew back, choking on bile as he turned away, closing his eyes.

"Felix, open your eyes and look around you," Dee urged, her voice gentle but firm. She tugged him to the edge of the hole. "You need to see."

He tried to go back, tried to return to reality and the pain and Cavil's face above him, the shouted questions and the anger and the desperate desire to just die and end it all there, but Dee's hand was firmly in his and she wouldn't let him go.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he shouted at her. "Why are you dragging me out here, why are you…" he couldn't finish. Dee blurred in front of him, not because the vision was fading but because he was crying. He wanted to stop, but he couldn't. He was being broken from outside and in, and he wasn't sure he could take it anymore.

Dee stepped closer. He could feel the heat of her body, even through both of their clothing. Her eyes were large and expressive, just like they'd been in life, and in them he saw the most profound sorrow he'd ever seen in his life.

"Come look," Dee whispered. "You can't hide from it anymore, Felix.. Come with me." Her voice was soft and hypnotic now. "You're almost there."

He tightened his grip on her hand, and let her lead him back to the hole. He followed slowly, unsteady despite the fact this was all a hallucination and he had two perfectly good feet. They crept to the edge of the hole, and he leaned over and looked.

It was an open mass grave, and the corpses numbered by the thousands.

He squeezed Dee's hand so hard the fragile bones ground together under his fingers, but she didn't cry out. She just stared into the grave herself, tears lingering on her lashes. And he saw what she wanted him to see.

So many of the faces he didn't know, corpses whom he had never met during their lives. But here and there, he spotted the ones he knew. Eyes were frozen open, lips parted in silent screams, flesh in various states of decay. He sank to his knees, staring at the faces.

"I know some of these people," he told Dee as she crouched beside him. "But they aren't dead. They shouldn't be dead. I got them out of detention. I… she…"

"She never helped you, Felix," Dee said, taking his arms and turning him so he was looking at her face. "She never helped you. She took your lists and she used them. She killed almost everyone on them."

"No. Not everyone. I saw… I saw people." The tears were flowing freely down his face now, and his nose was clogging up. "I saw Heather Redman and I saw-"

"She let some of them go, so you would believe her. She played you, Felix." Dee reached out and ran gentle fingers through his curls. "Shh. I know." She pulled him close and he held on to her, his face buried in her shoulder. "I know. It's going to be okay."

New Caprica faded around him, and he found himself back in his cell, on a bed and tears streaking his face. He opened his eyes fully, and saw Brooks sitting beside him.

"Hey, LT. It was time to wake you up. You okay?"

Felix nodded silently, although he wasn't sure he'd ever be okay again. Brooks gave a grim smile and then backed off, giving Felix space.

But when Felix looked again, Dee was standing beside Brooks, wearing a white dress and a serene smile.

He closed his eyes again.

***

Boomer hadn't entered their cell since the first time, but Sarah was aware that she spoke with Ellen frequently, when Cavil took Ellen out of the cell. This time she entered unaccompanied, glancing around her like she expected to be attacked.

"You're not welcome here," Sarah told her.

"Like you have any say in the matter," Boomer countered. She looked at Brooks, who was sulking in the corner, nursing his wounds, and Gaeta, who was huddled in the opposite corner, eyes closed. "Look, I came to see if there was anything you needed."

"Anything we need?" Sarah demanded. Brooks looked up, and even Gaeta managed to rouse himself to a glare. "You're joking, right?"

"Look. I know there's not much I can do, but there is a little. A little extra food, or clothing, or… I know it's not much. But it's something."

Sarah pounced before she could think, slamming Boomer back against the wall. The Centurions lurched forward, but Boomer put up a hand to stop them. "What are you playing at?" Sarah hissed at her. "What the frak are you doing? You picked your side. You can't just turn around and say, no, I'm going to be on this one today."

"I'm not," Boomer said. "But there are things you don't do, even in war. Even your enemies deserve a little consideration." She glanced over Sarah's shoulder at Gaeta and Brooks. "I learned that from Adama."

"Well, we don't need your consideration. So unless you plan on handing us guns or escorting us to a Raider to escape, get the frak out."

Boomer glared at her and pushed her off, then stormed out with her head held high. Sarah watched her go, swallowing to try to get rid of the bad taste in her mouth.

Brooks approached her. "You don't think that was a bad idea?" he said mildly.

"There's nothing she would have done for us that they aren't doing now."

He nodded. "Is it just me, or did that sound like a goodbye to you?"

Sarah cocked her head. "Now that you mention it… that can't be good."

They exchanged glances, both of them frustrated with their own impotence, both of them worried and having no idea of what was going to happen. Brooks sighed.

"We've got to get out of here."

***

I killed them. The thought played on a loop in his head, and now that he knew it, it wouldn't go away. I killed them. I handed them to her, gave them her names, and I killed them.

Dee sighed. "They were all in detention, you know," she said, sitting down beside him on the cold metal of the cell floor and adjusting the folds of her dress.

"People survived the detention center," Felix muttered.

"Yes," Dee temporized, "But given enough time, they wouldn't have. And if we’re going to bring up surviving the detention center, can I point out two hundred people you saved?"

"It doesn't balance out."

She draped an arm around his shoulder, and he found he could lean his head against her. But it didn't bring comfort in any way.

The Four entered. Felix jerked up, but Dee didn't disappear as the Four approached. He knelt down in front of Felix, Brooks and Sarah watching from across the room.

"Let's see the leg," he ordered, his voice clipped and brusque.

Felix obediently extended the leg. "It looks better," Dee said as the Four prodded at the stump.

"Yeah, well, I've been staying off of it," Felix said, wincing as the Four hit a sensitive spot. He looked up.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." Felix tried not to move, but it wasn't easy when the Four was pressing against the stump. "Where's Ellen?" The Four glanced up at his face, and then looked back down at the stump. A lump of fear formed in Felix's throat. "Is she alive?" The Four didn't answer, and Felix leaned in, grabbing his shirt. "Is she alive?"

The Four disengaged Felix's hand. "She's alive," he said gruffly. "But only because Cavil came up with a better idea than cutting open her brain."

Felix gaped, but Dee just shrugged. "He might have had a shot at reassembling all of the electrical impulses into something he could read," she admitted, "but it's not nearly as sure a thing as he would like. Ask him if he would have had to do the cutting."

"Would you have been doing the cutting?" Felix asked. The Four didn't answer, and Felix leaned in. "You would have, wouldn't you? You didn't want to cut into one of the Final Five's brains."

He didn't look up at Felix. "Would you want to cut into a living brain?"

"Never seen a Four be squeamish before."

"Be careful on the whole individuality thing," Dee cautioned. "He's not ready for that, and you know how people react when they're not ready to hear something." Felix glared at her, but she smiled and twirled a pen between her fingers. He focused back on the Four. "So, are you being given orders to cut us up? I've wondered about that."

He smirked. "Cavil thinks that if he took your other leg, you'd find a way to kill yourself."

"Well," Felix said, with an intake of breath, "he doesn't think much of me, does he?"

"Of course," Dee muttered, "he'd be right. And if you're dead, you've got no value whatsoever to him."

The Four blinked slowly. "He only thinks that because I told him that."

Felix heard Sarah take a slow breath, and step closer. He shook his head at her as imperceptibly as possible. Her mouth nearly disappeared into a hard line, but she took a step back. "You're not happy with any of this," Felix said softly. "Not with how Cavil's treating a member of the Final Five, not with the idea of torture, not with incarcerating the first Cylon to be carrying a fully Cylon fetus, and most definitely not with Cavil shooting her, after she'd made her decision to come here."

"Shut up," the Four growled.

"So where did Ellen go?" Felix said softly. "What happened to her?"

"She went back to Galactica," the Four said. "With Boomer." He finished up and stood up hastily. "I have to go," he said, and hurried out of the cell.

Sarah stared at him, and Brooks began to smile. Dee grinned proudly. "Good job, Felix," she said.

"For the first time, I actually really think this might work," he told her incredulously.

***

On to Chapter 8