Building Plans

Nov 06, 2006 21:53

So here's the poem I was talking about before. i wasn't going to post it but several people said they wanted to hear it so here you go. Also thanks to everyone who said congrats for my confirmation ( Read more... )

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Comments 7

miso_mouse November 7 2006, 04:24:41 UTC
Hmmm... It's very pretty, I think.

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musicguy77 November 7 2006, 13:32:46 UTC
Thank you.
Yeah I'm also USUALLY not that emo

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and_of_darkness November 7 2006, 16:04:41 UTC
i like it alot. Do you post your poems online? I used to but when i got new comp i lost the adresses i posted them on *blah*

to me i got the meaning that this guy (or gal) dreams dreams- everything on paper is ok, but when turnt into reality it is much harder. The physical is a lot harder to control and life is rarely as straight forward as it seems.

I don't know if thats what you were aiming for but ... thats what i got from it.

Ooh <3 Decemberists

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musicguy77 November 7 2006, 17:07:48 UTC
Thanks i really apreciate it!
Also the last three lines is talking about how they only had small insoquential things(bricks) in common and they coulden't really come together on anything big
but yeah its a lot about dreams and ambitions
and I really love The decemberists
thier songs are so well written
I usually don't post poems or stores online but the reaction was nice so I might do it again

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musicguy77 November 7 2006, 23:17:54 UTC
Now that I'm thinking about it I don't really like the last 3 lines, they kinda jar with the rest of the poem..
Hmm I'll work on in whenever I have a spare 5 minutes

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and_of_darkness November 8 2006, 16:21:52 UTC
Aww they're good.

See SOMEPEOPLE understands you works.

Keep writing ;)

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despondentdream November 9 2006, 07:01:45 UTC
Hmmm. Because of the water line, I keep thinking that you're drowning, especially considering at the end you talk about how the house fell apart. Like, the relationship is pulling you down into something you never wanted to be...or something.

The lines 'I've been called a builder / But I am nothing but a(n, btw) architect.' make me think that people have too high of expectations of you, probably that she thought it would be the perfect relationship, but you're far from perfect, and your attempts at making things right failed.

The last line gives a sense of hope - to me, anyway, because it's like - well, it all fell apart, but we still have the building blocks, so let's try again.

Or something. ^^;
Very nice. :D Continuous metaphors make me so happy.

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