I like the set up, but I think I need to reread the other stories to remember the full arc. I was having a lot of trouble keeping the names and country references straight. I'll see if I can't get myself to go back over the other stories today and get back to you.
Ok, reread everything and the names made a lot more sense this time. I think the transition from refusing to accepting the wine is fine. She has now heard what she is to do and how others deal with it. Knowing that, she can no properly decide what she needs to do to reach that point.
However, I think telling her the good news that her sister is alive and not under threat of death at all would encourage Avenyn in facing up to the requirements of the night. Holding back the news that she attacked and came close to killing the Eternal Light's brother was probably wise, however.
If it was me, I think I would have at least told her (vaguely) that I was pretty sure her sister was safe. But the way Sasaetu sees it is more like, "Hon, just put your sister out of your mind for the night - you're about to have more than enough to deal with without worrying about her as well." And also, it's important that Avenyn stay in the dark about what's going on with Satari, for just a little while longer - because don't you want to see Vayoro again? ;) (Even though I think he's going to show up in the next section anyway - I have about half of it written, but it's mostly the dialogue and it's mostly out of order - poor Vayoro has had a very trying day.)
Ahahaha. Paji Healers. You'll see a bit more of them as time goes on. Nobody likes them because they're pretty much incompetent. And you'll see reasons for this later.
Comments 5
Reply
However, I think telling her the good news that her sister is alive and not under threat of death at all would encourage Avenyn in facing up to the requirements of the night. Holding back the news that she attacked and came close to killing the Eternal Light's brother was probably wise, however.
I hope you'll write more of this soon.
Reply
Reply
Which reminds me, I can't help but wonder what is wrong with the Healers of Paj. Nobody likes them.
Reply
Ahahaha. Paji Healers. You'll see a bit more of them as time goes on. Nobody likes them because they're pretty much incompetent. And you'll see reasons for this later.
Reply
Leave a comment