010.4. Ten Things
Ten rules you have broken
I. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Sorry, big guy, but I worshipped Julie Andrews before I could talk. I didn't know who you were until Dad cut his finger at the shop and lost control of his mouth.
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing.
Then why did you create Madonna? Her Greatest Hits CD runs shorter than a session in church, so I can worship and still fit in a palates session.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.
Jesus Freakin' Christ, you don't let your lot do anything, do you? Blame Dad... you know, cut finger and all.
IV. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
I really tried, but Saturdays are the best day for my sex life. No school, and all that. If it's any consolation, I say your name in vain a LOT on those days.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother.
I just cannot sit through a Man vs. Wild AND a Deadliest Catch marathon in a row. Getting seasickness and nauseated from pee drinking just isn't a good mix, okay? Besides, he wouldn't watch all three Sex and the City movies with me, so it's just karma.
VI. Thou shalt not kill.
It was an ugly plant anyway, and Blaine's goldfish was sick before he went on that field trip.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
It was just some text messsages! There was no putting of mutual body parts anywhere. And I only chose the Dior scarf over Marc Jacobs ONE TIME. It suited my complexion way better!
VIII. Thou shalt not steal.
Finn didn't need an extra potato anyway. He has way too many carbs. I was doing him a favour.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
It wasn't technically false because his green cable knit sweater did look like cat barf, but I'll admit, it was a bit harsh and I only said that to the mailman because I was jealous my neighbour got the car I wanted. I would promise I won't do it again, but it's too tempting to "spill" a slushie on his paintwork.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house.
Then stop giving people the things I want. It's really very simple. Just give it all to me, and I'll be your favourite person ever...
Oh well, bitches. It's not like I was making it into heaven anyway. I like dick and I had sex before marriage. If liking dick could lead to more legal marriage, maybe I might have been more willing to come along for the ride.
justbeingaqueen ★ GLEE (Canon)
ooc warning: prompt fill may be offensive to Christians... muse is very Athiest.
I. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Sorry, big guy, but I worshipped Julie Andrews before I could talk. I didn't know who you were until Dad cut his finger at the shop and lost control of his mouth.
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing.
Then why did you create Madonna? Her Greatest Hits CD runs shorter than a session in church, so I can worship and still fit in a palates session.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.
Jesus Freakin' Christ, you don't let your lot do anything, do you? Blame Dad... you know, cut finger and all.
IV. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
I really tried, but Saturdays are the best day for my sex life. No school, and all that. If it's any consolation, I say your name in vain a LOT on those days.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother.
I just cannot sit through a Man vs. Wild AND a Deadliest Catch marathon in a row. Getting seasickness and nauseated from pee drinking just isn't a good mix, okay? Besides, he wouldn't watch all three Sex and the City movies with me, so it's just karma.
VI. Thou shalt not kill.
It was an ugly plant anyway, and Blaine's goldfish was sick before he went on that field trip.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
It was just some text messsages! There was no putting of mutual body parts anywhere. And I only chose the Dior scarf over Marc Jacobs ONE TIME. It suited my complexion way better!
VIII. Thou shalt not steal.
Finn didn't need an extra potato anyway. He has way too many carbs. I was doing him a favour.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
It wasn't technically false because his green cable knit sweater did look like cat barf, but I'll admit, it was a bit harsh and I only said that to the mailman because I was jealous my neighbour got the car I wanted. I would promise I won't do it again, but it's too tempting to "spill" a slushie on his paintwork.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house.
Then stop giving people the things I want. It's really very simple. Just give it all to me, and I'll be your favourite person ever...
Oh well, bitches. It's not like I was making it into heaven anyway. I like dick and I had sex before marriage. If liking dick could lead to more legal marriage, maybe I might have been more willing to come along for the ride.
justbeingaqueen ★ GLEE (Canon)
ooc warning: prompt fill may be offensive to Christians... muse is very Athiest.