HP_Wishes: "An Arrangement of Convenience"
Title: An Arrangement of Convenience
Author: museme87
Granting wish for: comicsbycate
Theme: #2-Angst
Pairing: James/Sirius
Prompt: Unrequited
Rating: R, mostly for language
Word Count: 1900+
Warnings: Boys kissing?
Author's Notes: Written for hp_wishes. I've always wanted to try my hands at James/Sirius, so your prompt was heaven sent, Cate. I've read a lot of fics where Sirius is the one pining after James, so I thought I might switch it up and have James crushing in this. I'm not sure about the end result, but I hope you find it satisfactory.
If anyone would have asked James how he would be spending his summer holiday after sixth year, he would not have answered them by saying that the annual Marauder holiday was off and that he would be lying in his bed bored out of his mind, waiting patiently for Lily Evans to reply to one of his many owls. What was with her anyway? She had told him on the Express that he'd advanced from "insufferable toerag" to "vaguely tolerable arsehole." It wasn't exactly "I love you" but progress was progress.
As for the matter of his boredom, well that was a direct result of this year's Marauder holiday being called off and Sirius moping around. Remus hadn't spoken to him since the incident at the Shack, nor had he bothered to reply to any of Sirius' ten owls he'd sent since the beginning of the hols. James had even tried to write him, but Remus knew him well enough to know that anything he might write in response would go directly to Sirius. Needless to say, his answer contained the usual pleasantries with the addition that he would not be able to travel with them in July. He hadn't bothered giving a reason, and James supposed that the whole Sirius-tried-to-get-me-to-commit-murder thing was excuse enough.
And all of that might have been tolerable if it weren't for the fact that Sirius was acting like a love-sick crup. With Sirius not being up for any sort of antics or hijinks, James might as well have been half a person, and it was terribly difficult to get into any sort of good and proper trouble when you're missing limbs.
"You should just accept the fact that he's not going to talk to you, you know," James said from his bed.
Sirius looked over at him from his own bed across the room, not amused. "And exactly how many letters have you sent?"
"Twenty-three. But what does that matter?"
"It matters because we're in the exact same boat, mate. They don't want to hear from us. In fact, ten Gallions says they're casting incendio the moment they get anything we send."
James considered it for a moment. "Does sound a bit like something Lily would do, doesn't it?"
"Now you're getting it."
James wondered if she was really disregarding him like that. Sure, he had his less than stellar moments in her eyes , but she had said that he was becoming tolerable (he liked to ignore the "vaguely" bit). Maybe he really did have a chance with her. Or, he thought miserably, perhaps Sirius had been right all along and he didn't have a chance in hell with her. Maybe he was wasting his life just sitting around and waiting for her to return his owl. He shuddered to think that he was turning into what Sirius had become post-Shack.
"Well, who cares about them anyway?" he asked, feeling suddenly determined. "We don't need them."
Sirius whimpered.
"We don't need them," James reiterated. "We've got each other."
"You can't exactly replace Remus."
James knew what he was referring to. So Remus and Sirius had been shagging for a year and a half? He would certainly be able to replace Remus far easier than Sirius could replace Lily. And what's more, he and Sirius had had a bit of past, and James had enjoyed that time together with Sirius.
"I could."
"What are you on about?"
"You know, fourth year."
Sirius sat up in bed and looked at him intently. "That was just…I wasn't sure if I was, you know, attracted to blokes."
"Well you should have figured that out after one or two wanks, and I recall far more than a couple. In fact, I think I remember a blow job somewhere in there as well."
"Shut it!" Sirius said, tossing his pillow at James' head.
The truth of the matter was, James sort missed what they'd shared that year. He already loved him like a brother by that point, and well, when they'd taken things to another level, it was only naturally that he should feel all the more strongly. He'd never admitted to his secret crush, but he certainly wouldn't mind taking the opportunity to have Sirius like that again.
"That's all well and good, Prongs, but you're forgetting the fact that you like birds."
"I might be able to make an exception."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "There's a little more to it than that."
It was becoming distinctly more like a challenge as the conversation continued, and James never was one to back down from a challenge. He wondered for a moment whether or not Sirius was using that to his advantage. It was a possibility he did want this to transpire between them but didn't want to put it into words in case he felt differently later. Well James would make certain that Sirius would want him and that he wouldn't regret it.
James rolled off of his bed and marched over to Sirius', sitting on the edge and staring at Sirius. Now how to go about putting his plan into action. He bit his bottom lip and then decided to lean in for the kill. However, Sirius quickly evaded.
"Oi! Try that again and I'll punch you."
Why James tried again, he'll never know for certain. It could have been because he wanted to prove a point, or because he had to be told more than once to stop doing just about anything, or maybe even because he was just so fucking bored and needed some way of releasing his energy. However, Sirius made good on his promise, and James had every intention of fighting back.
They were a tangle of limbs for a good five minutes, throwing punches, kneeing, and kicking. Now this had been exactly what James had been itching for. He'd had the upper hand when all of a sudden he heard someone in the corridor outside of his room and froze for fear it would be his mum. Sirius took the opportunity to pin him to the bed. James struggled against him, but Sirius brought one finger to his lips to shush him.
It was Sirius who leaned down this time, his long hair tickling James' cheek. James stared up into Sirius' eyes, and he looked like a cat who had just got its cream. He wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen next, but he had an idea, which went straight to his prick.
Sirius tightened his grip on James' wrists, as if to secure him, but they both knew that James wouldn't fight him if he let go. James rather liked the idea of being pinned down by Sirius; it made the situation all the more exciting. Sirius went in for the kiss, and he took with abandon.
They fumbled at first but eventually found their rhythm. Sirius took James' bottom lip between his teeth, nipping at the tender flesh and sucking. James kissed him back with urgency, opening his mouth to give Sirius entrance. Their tongues danced together, giving and taking until James was moaning into Sirius' mouth. Then Sirius pulled back ever so slightly, grinning.
"What'd you do that for?" James asked.
"You're complaining now? You're the one who wanted to kiss."
"Yeah, but I got punched when I tried."
Sirius shrugged. "Just felt like punching you. Twenty-three fucking letters to Evans? You had it coming."
"Fucking tosser," James said, struggling against him.
But Sirius' lips found his again and his need for defiance weakened considerably. James thrust up against him, and Sirius' erection became suddenly apparent to James. For someone who pretended like what was happening between them was nothing, Sirius sure was responding appropriately. Sirius ground against him, and James wasn't sure he'd ever felt so much desire for one person ever.
"Gods, Padfoot."
A moan escaped Sirius' lips, and he sat up, brushing his hair out of his face. James reached for Sirius' belt, eager to take them to the next step. However, Sirius shook his head no and swatted James' hands away.
"What?" James asked, irritated. "Don't pretend like you don’t want it."
"It's not that. We just ought to establish an understanding before we get in too deep, yeah?"
James would admit that that made sense. "Okay."
"You're head over heels for Evans, mate. And I love Remus and would do anything to get him back."
"Your point?"
"That doesn't change just because…we fool around, or whatever this is. If Evans owls you next week and says she wants you to shag her senseless, you ought to. No hard feelings."
"Agreed. And if Remus does the same then that's great."
"Right."
"This is just us supporting each other. Like brothers."
"That makes it sound worse."
James wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Well it's just us looking after each other then. How's that?"
"Perfect."
And things had gone rather perfectly for most of the remaining summer. They'd fooled around, kissing and wanking and sucking each other off. And when James started to get bored with that, he began hinting that they should take it one step further, further than they had ever gone before. This, though, was where Sirius drew the line. He mentioned something about that being something between him and Remus, that shagging James would feel like he was betraying Moony. James reminded him that he was already in it for a Knut, why not a Gallion? Sirius never relented though, and James remained frustrated.
Sirius Black was an easy bloke to fall in love with, James discovered that summer. He already knew all the finer points of Sirius' personality, but he'd never really experienced what it was like to be loved by him romantically. They'd never exchanged I-love-yous; James knew though that Sirius had felt something for him, beyond just brotherly love. He was starting to resent that Remus was still the only person occupying Sirius' thoughts.
In the middle of August, barely two weeks before term started, James and Sirius awoke to an owl at the window, and they immediately recognized it as Remus'. Sirius could not have got to the window faster if he'd tried. He broke the seal, and James watched as Sirius read through the letter once, then twice.
"Moony wants to see me to talk."
James' heart sank at the look of joy on Sirius' face. He knew this day might come, but he hoped as the summer lingered on that it wouldn't. Still, Sirius was his best mate, and James wasn't about to make him feel guilty when he'd been waiting for that owl for so long.
"Brilliant."
Sirius tore through the room, looking through piles of clothes, obviously in search of something in particular. He growled as he opened the cupboard where he kept his things.
"Fuck, Prongs, I don't have anything to wear."
"Looks like you have a whole cupboard full from here."
"Yeah, but nothing that makes me look fit."
"You always look fit, Pads."
And Sirius turned to him, the look on his face one of regret. He had apparently just realized what the letter meant for him and James. He padded his way to James' bed and sat.
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking."
"It's alright."
"Are you sure?" His eyes were hopeful.
James knew the words he was about to say would be painful. "I want you to be happy, and Remus makes you happier than anyone I know. Just do it, alright?"
"But-"
"We had an agreement, remember? You're not allowed to go back on it."
"Thanks, Prongs."
James helped Sirius find something to wear and wished him best of luck as Sirius left Potter Manor. He then drug himself back to his room and laid in bed for the rest of the day, thinking of nothing but Sirius Black and how things might have been.
Author: museme87
Granting wish for: comicsbycate
Theme: #2-Angst
Pairing: James/Sirius
Prompt: Unrequited
Rating: R, mostly for language
Word Count: 1900+
Warnings: Boys kissing?
Author's Notes: Written for hp_wishes. I've always wanted to try my hands at James/Sirius, so your prompt was heaven sent, Cate. I've read a lot of fics where Sirius is the one pining after James, so I thought I might switch it up and have James crushing in this. I'm not sure about the end result, but I hope you find it satisfactory.
If anyone would have asked James how he would be spending his summer holiday after sixth year, he would not have answered them by saying that the annual Marauder holiday was off and that he would be lying in his bed bored out of his mind, waiting patiently for Lily Evans to reply to one of his many owls. What was with her anyway? She had told him on the Express that he'd advanced from "insufferable toerag" to "vaguely tolerable arsehole." It wasn't exactly "I love you" but progress was progress.
As for the matter of his boredom, well that was a direct result of this year's Marauder holiday being called off and Sirius moping around. Remus hadn't spoken to him since the incident at the Shack, nor had he bothered to reply to any of Sirius' ten owls he'd sent since the beginning of the hols. James had even tried to write him, but Remus knew him well enough to know that anything he might write in response would go directly to Sirius. Needless to say, his answer contained the usual pleasantries with the addition that he would not be able to travel with them in July. He hadn't bothered giving a reason, and James supposed that the whole Sirius-tried-to-get-me-to-commit-murder thing was excuse enough.
And all of that might have been tolerable if it weren't for the fact that Sirius was acting like a love-sick crup. With Sirius not being up for any sort of antics or hijinks, James might as well have been half a person, and it was terribly difficult to get into any sort of good and proper trouble when you're missing limbs.
"You should just accept the fact that he's not going to talk to you, you know," James said from his bed.
Sirius looked over at him from his own bed across the room, not amused. "And exactly how many letters have you sent?"
"Twenty-three. But what does that matter?"
"It matters because we're in the exact same boat, mate. They don't want to hear from us. In fact, ten Gallions says they're casting incendio the moment they get anything we send."
James considered it for a moment. "Does sound a bit like something Lily would do, doesn't it?"
"Now you're getting it."
James wondered if she was really disregarding him like that. Sure, he had his less than stellar moments in her eyes , but she had said that he was becoming tolerable (he liked to ignore the "vaguely" bit). Maybe he really did have a chance with her. Or, he thought miserably, perhaps Sirius had been right all along and he didn't have a chance in hell with her. Maybe he was wasting his life just sitting around and waiting for her to return his owl. He shuddered to think that he was turning into what Sirius had become post-Shack.
"Well, who cares about them anyway?" he asked, feeling suddenly determined. "We don't need them."
Sirius whimpered.
"We don't need them," James reiterated. "We've got each other."
"You can't exactly replace Remus."
James knew what he was referring to. So Remus and Sirius had been shagging for a year and a half? He would certainly be able to replace Remus far easier than Sirius could replace Lily. And what's more, he and Sirius had had a bit of past, and James had enjoyed that time together with Sirius.
"I could."
"What are you on about?"
"You know, fourth year."
Sirius sat up in bed and looked at him intently. "That was just…I wasn't sure if I was, you know, attracted to blokes."
"Well you should have figured that out after one or two wanks, and I recall far more than a couple. In fact, I think I remember a blow job somewhere in there as well."
"Shut it!" Sirius said, tossing his pillow at James' head.
The truth of the matter was, James sort missed what they'd shared that year. He already loved him like a brother by that point, and well, when they'd taken things to another level, it was only naturally that he should feel all the more strongly. He'd never admitted to his secret crush, but he certainly wouldn't mind taking the opportunity to have Sirius like that again.
"That's all well and good, Prongs, but you're forgetting the fact that you like birds."
"I might be able to make an exception."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "There's a little more to it than that."
It was becoming distinctly more like a challenge as the conversation continued, and James never was one to back down from a challenge. He wondered for a moment whether or not Sirius was using that to his advantage. It was a possibility he did want this to transpire between them but didn't want to put it into words in case he felt differently later. Well James would make certain that Sirius would want him and that he wouldn't regret it.
James rolled off of his bed and marched over to Sirius', sitting on the edge and staring at Sirius. Now how to go about putting his plan into action. He bit his bottom lip and then decided to lean in for the kill. However, Sirius quickly evaded.
"Oi! Try that again and I'll punch you."
Why James tried again, he'll never know for certain. It could have been because he wanted to prove a point, or because he had to be told more than once to stop doing just about anything, or maybe even because he was just so fucking bored and needed some way of releasing his energy. However, Sirius made good on his promise, and James had every intention of fighting back.
They were a tangle of limbs for a good five minutes, throwing punches, kneeing, and kicking. Now this had been exactly what James had been itching for. He'd had the upper hand when all of a sudden he heard someone in the corridor outside of his room and froze for fear it would be his mum. Sirius took the opportunity to pin him to the bed. James struggled against him, but Sirius brought one finger to his lips to shush him.
It was Sirius who leaned down this time, his long hair tickling James' cheek. James stared up into Sirius' eyes, and he looked like a cat who had just got its cream. He wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen next, but he had an idea, which went straight to his prick.
Sirius tightened his grip on James' wrists, as if to secure him, but they both knew that James wouldn't fight him if he let go. James rather liked the idea of being pinned down by Sirius; it made the situation all the more exciting. Sirius went in for the kiss, and he took with abandon.
They fumbled at first but eventually found their rhythm. Sirius took James' bottom lip between his teeth, nipping at the tender flesh and sucking. James kissed him back with urgency, opening his mouth to give Sirius entrance. Their tongues danced together, giving and taking until James was moaning into Sirius' mouth. Then Sirius pulled back ever so slightly, grinning.
"What'd you do that for?" James asked.
"You're complaining now? You're the one who wanted to kiss."
"Yeah, but I got punched when I tried."
Sirius shrugged. "Just felt like punching you. Twenty-three fucking letters to Evans? You had it coming."
"Fucking tosser," James said, struggling against him.
But Sirius' lips found his again and his need for defiance weakened considerably. James thrust up against him, and Sirius' erection became suddenly apparent to James. For someone who pretended like what was happening between them was nothing, Sirius sure was responding appropriately. Sirius ground against him, and James wasn't sure he'd ever felt so much desire for one person ever.
"Gods, Padfoot."
A moan escaped Sirius' lips, and he sat up, brushing his hair out of his face. James reached for Sirius' belt, eager to take them to the next step. However, Sirius shook his head no and swatted James' hands away.
"What?" James asked, irritated. "Don't pretend like you don’t want it."
"It's not that. We just ought to establish an understanding before we get in too deep, yeah?"
James would admit that that made sense. "Okay."
"You're head over heels for Evans, mate. And I love Remus and would do anything to get him back."
"Your point?"
"That doesn't change just because…we fool around, or whatever this is. If Evans owls you next week and says she wants you to shag her senseless, you ought to. No hard feelings."
"Agreed. And if Remus does the same then that's great."
"Right."
"This is just us supporting each other. Like brothers."
"That makes it sound worse."
James wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Well it's just us looking after each other then. How's that?"
"Perfect."
And things had gone rather perfectly for most of the remaining summer. They'd fooled around, kissing and wanking and sucking each other off. And when James started to get bored with that, he began hinting that they should take it one step further, further than they had ever gone before. This, though, was where Sirius drew the line. He mentioned something about that being something between him and Remus, that shagging James would feel like he was betraying Moony. James reminded him that he was already in it for a Knut, why not a Gallion? Sirius never relented though, and James remained frustrated.
Sirius Black was an easy bloke to fall in love with, James discovered that summer. He already knew all the finer points of Sirius' personality, but he'd never really experienced what it was like to be loved by him romantically. They'd never exchanged I-love-yous; James knew though that Sirius had felt something for him, beyond just brotherly love. He was starting to resent that Remus was still the only person occupying Sirius' thoughts.
In the middle of August, barely two weeks before term started, James and Sirius awoke to an owl at the window, and they immediately recognized it as Remus'. Sirius could not have got to the window faster if he'd tried. He broke the seal, and James watched as Sirius read through the letter once, then twice.
"Moony wants to see me to talk."
James' heart sank at the look of joy on Sirius' face. He knew this day might come, but he hoped as the summer lingered on that it wouldn't. Still, Sirius was his best mate, and James wasn't about to make him feel guilty when he'd been waiting for that owl for so long.
"Brilliant."
Sirius tore through the room, looking through piles of clothes, obviously in search of something in particular. He growled as he opened the cupboard where he kept his things.
"Fuck, Prongs, I don't have anything to wear."
"Looks like you have a whole cupboard full from here."
"Yeah, but nothing that makes me look fit."
"You always look fit, Pads."
And Sirius turned to him, the look on his face one of regret. He had apparently just realized what the letter meant for him and James. He padded his way to James' bed and sat.
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking."
"It's alright."
"Are you sure?" His eyes were hopeful.
James knew the words he was about to say would be painful. "I want you to be happy, and Remus makes you happier than anyone I know. Just do it, alright?"
"But-"
"We had an agreement, remember? You're not allowed to go back on it."
"Thanks, Prongs."
James helped Sirius find something to wear and wished him best of luck as Sirius left Potter Manor. He then drug himself back to his room and laid in bed for the rest of the day, thinking of nothing but Sirius Black and how things might have been.