Room 808: Troubled night

[mumbling_truth]

Dinner had been awkward and terse. Now they came back upstairs, and went to lie down. There seemed a tense gulf between the two boys, and neither one was having an easy time getting to sleep.

Todd finally asked tentatively, and as before, placed a careful hand on Neil's arm this time.

"Neil? What's wrong?"

Comments

[poetperry]

Neil was all sorts of turned around and he could tell that the harder he fought to act normal...the worse he felt...because there he was...acting, just like Venkman had said.

He was just so, utterly confused and turned around that he felt like he didn't even know where to begin and when Todd asked the question the boy drew in a shuddering breath before speaking quietly.

"It's hard to explain...but I think I hate myself."

[mumbling_truth]

Todd blinked at that and he stammered a little, "Wh-what? Why?"

[poetperry]

Neil was exhausted and by this point so utterly numb from the whole day that he just, started talking and didn't stop.

He spoke of his fears, of failure, of the need he knew he was going to have to face in going back to deal with Mr. Perry, about the coldness he felt in not being able to dream anymore...or at least not since that night and then on to the fight with Venkman and how it made him feel, how he was even more scared now that he'd gone and asked an adult for help and felt like he'd gotten told 'no' and just...the whole sordid mess.

At the end, his voice was barely a whisper and almost painfully raw.

"And...I just sat there...under the tree and tried to make sense of any of it...and I couldn't."

[mumbling_truth]

Todd reached out to him, and carefully put his arms around Neil from where he was. He didn't say anything, not yet. Just being here, and reassuring.

After a while, he did briefly say, "I-I'll have to give you new dreams then. It's ok, Neil, you can do this when you're ready. I believe in you. Please believe in yourself, Neil."