Y'know in my book this *is* empowered multiplicity. I agree that trauma multiples get the shaft. I'd note first that most in the HOH community technically *are* late deafened. It's that rare group in this narcissistic youth-obsessed culture where the young actually get shat on.
To be able to define one's own reality on one's own terms is to me what empowerment truly is.
A lot of the misconception happened because of this essay (not written by us), that circulated online starting around early 2000. It was supposed to describe online multiples who were liberating themselves from the endless spoiler warnings, trigger warnings, and splats that typified most MPD/DID websites and forums in the 1990s. The kind of learned helplessness that was encouraged by too many psychs in the MPD overdiagnosis of the 80s and 90s, and exemplified as "survivors" online at that time
( ... )
Essay (Stef)freddie2431August 3 2010, 02:19:57 UTC
Thank you. We'll have a look....it sounds somewhat familiar, I think we may not have read it but have probably heard it referred to.
Sorry you're having to repeat yourself til you're blue in the face. Such seems to be the lot of people who forge new trails and show others the way - parents and teachers come to mind. Very often blue-faced people by the end of the day.
What we have *never* heard before, is the part about empowerment as an alternative to that insidious 'survivor model'. Wow. Very interesting.
Essay by Sharon. (Stef)freddie2431August 3 2010, 15:17:48 UTC
Most of her essay, I can agree with.
I only take issue with two things....
1. I feel people who actually became multi (or discovered they were multi) through trauma, can still be empowered.
2. I also feel that multis with disabilities who are not 'employed in the marketplace', can still be empowered. (Not all of being productive and contributing to the world, is around earning money.)
And boy. What a new take on the word 'survivor'. It sounds like it should be an empowering word, of itself...how insidious.
Re: Essay by Sharon. (Stef)ksol1460August 4 2010, 03:55:54 UTC
The two things you mentioned were the things that either threw people off or they believed they had to see it that way. Sharon's group had this huge website and they were extremely visible back then, so lots of people saw this essay and took it seriously.
Somehow the idea of "empowerment" got separated from trauma multiples, who are the groups and people who most need it. Taking control of their lives.
Survival model in singlets is just as ... um... like a chain around people as the whole "Victim mentality" As it is still building an identity around what *happened* to you, what others did to you, not what you really are.
It is all a pile of shite, and I am glad you are finding your own helpful insights. Poeple seem to get all worked up about multiplicity but really, trauma multiples have almost all the same issues as traumatised singlets, but because they are multiple people (ie psychiatrists etc) go silly *rolls eyes*
Incidentally we had a similar incident with our father. Had a LOT of trouble understanding that the memories weren't just terrible nightmares till we had a nice break of about 4 yrs from him, then got thrust into his company unwillingly again ugh ugh. Then we saw the behaviour and it was like *click* "You really are the barstard of my nightmares, aren't you? You really did do those things to me." 8 yrs of constant high-quality therapy and we are starting to feel a whole lot better about this Living Gig :-)
Trauma (Stef)freddie2431August 3 2010, 15:06:21 UTC
I think you really nailed it, with traumatized multis having the same issues as traumatized singlets. Those issues are called PTSD - formerly known as shellshock.
It's great you got a good therapist, and I wish there were more of those. I'd like to see the day come when therapy is actually therapeutic; multis and singlets alike have the choice to take it, leave it, or take or leave part or all of it; and it's absolutely all done with informed consent. No 'therapeutic thechniques' that are not understood and agreed to ahead of time; no jargon that says one thing and means another.
In other words, we're all treated like people, and if we need to process trauma then we can get help in doing that, without somebody trying to reach inside our brain and change who we are.
(Please pardon soap box rant there, but that really is a dream of mine. Maybe one day.)
You're standing on my soap box. (Actually our's say Weed and Gabriel.) I agree with you so much. I personally have an amazing therapist but that is not enough to trust her with being multiple. The over all mental health culture has not changed enough on that and as the primary fronter we do not want to compromise my care because that hurts everybody. It is also true that finding a good therapist who is good fit is hard wether you are singlet or multi.
We would put Nicky in therapy if we could and hurts all of us that we can't.
Comments 11
To be able to define one's own reality on one's own terms is to me what empowerment truly is.
-Tamar Silverberg-
Reply
And saying....
A lot of the misconception happened because of this essay (not written by us), that circulated online starting around early 2000. It was supposed to describe online multiples who were liberating themselves from the endless spoiler warnings, trigger warnings, and splats that typified most MPD/DID websites and forums in the 1990s. The kind of learned helplessness that was encouraged by too many psychs in the MPD overdiagnosis of the 80s and 90s, and exemplified as "survivors" online at that time ( ... )
Reply
Sorry you're having to repeat yourself til you're blue in the face. Such seems to be the lot of people who forge new trails and show others the way - parents and teachers come to mind. Very often blue-faced people by the end of the day.
What we have *never* heard before, is the part about empowerment as an alternative to that insidious 'survivor model'. Wow. Very interesting.
Reply
I only take issue with two things....
1. I feel people who actually became multi (or discovered they were multi) through trauma, can still be empowered.
2. I also feel that multis with disabilities who are not 'employed in the marketplace', can still be empowered. (Not all of being productive and contributing to the world, is around earning money.)
And boy. What a new take on the word 'survivor'. It sounds like it should be an empowering word, of itself...how insidious.
Reply
Somehow the idea of "empowerment" got separated from trauma multiples, who are the groups and people who most need it. Taking control of their lives.
Reply
As it is still building an identity around what *happened* to you, what others did to you, not what you really are.
It is all a pile of shite, and I am glad you are finding your own helpful insights. Poeple seem to get all worked up about multiplicity but really, trauma multiples have almost all the same issues as traumatised singlets, but because they are multiple people (ie psychiatrists etc) go silly *rolls eyes*
Incidentally we had a similar incident with our father. Had a LOT of trouble understanding that the memories weren't just terrible nightmares till we had a nice break of about 4 yrs from him, then got thrust into his company unwillingly again ugh ugh. Then we saw the behaviour and it was like *click* "You really are the barstard of my nightmares, aren't you? You really did do those things to me."
8 yrs of constant high-quality therapy and we are starting to feel a whole lot better about this Living Gig :-)
Reply
Those issues are called PTSD - formerly known as shellshock.
It's great you got a good therapist, and I wish there were more of those. I'd like to see the day come when therapy is actually therapeutic; multis and singlets alike have the choice to take it, leave it, or take or leave part or all of it; and it's absolutely all done with informed consent. No 'therapeutic thechniques' that are not understood and agreed to ahead of time; no jargon that says one thing and means another.
In other words, we're all treated like people, and if we need to process trauma then we can get help in doing that, without somebody trying to reach inside our brain and change who we are.
(Please pardon soap box rant there, but that really is a dream of mine. Maybe one day.)
Reply
Reply
We would put Nicky in therapy if we could and hurts all of us that we can't.
Reply
Leave a comment