This is a completely fine place to post feedback, it's just most post it on my ficwad or fanfiction.net account.
I agree I haven't quite done Lulu justice. I find Auron easier to write, for some reason. Probably because I've thought about him more and his backstory has just the right number of seeds in FFX.
And I'm glad you like the most recent chapter the most --I always hope to improve.
I'm glad you like it and really appreciate your feedback. It's quite insightful and honest and I look forward to more as I write. :)
Firstly, thank you so much this in-depth review that wasn't afraid of concrit. I am sorry I was so slow at responding.
It’s especially jarring, because this line concerns “a serene cadence,” and you should attend to conjuring that par example.
I know exactly what you mean and while a better word likely could have been used in place of two, it doesn't jar me too much, probably because I hear it narrated in my head and the rhythm works there. However, I hear your concern both as an editor and reader.
You’ve established that Lulu is recalling these details, so I’d advise getting out of the past perfect and just sticking with the past tense.
I have the plague of many a writers with this. It's one of those things that absolutely annoys me to review/correct but I understand that it is a major failing and makes me appear to have a weak grasp on storytelling. I am maybe a bit more careless on many things in fanfic. I will try harder!
When pulling off complex comparisons, it’s best to keep sentences as short and simple as possible,
( ... )
Please, help me, brothers!!!
anonymous
April 30 2009, 22:20:39 UTC
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I agree I haven't quite done Lulu justice. I find Auron easier to write, for some reason. Probably because I've thought about him more and his backstory has just the right number of seeds in FFX.
And I'm glad you like the most recent chapter the most --I always hope to improve.
I'm glad you like it and really appreciate your feedback. It's quite insightful and honest and I look forward to more as I write. :)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
It’s especially jarring, because this line concerns “a serene cadence,” and you should attend to conjuring that par example.
I know exactly what you mean and while a better word likely could have been used in place of two, it doesn't jar me too much, probably because I hear it narrated in my head and the rhythm works there. However, I hear your concern both as an editor and reader.
You’ve established that Lulu is recalling these details, so I’d advise getting out of the past perfect and just sticking with the past tense.
I have the plague of many a writers with this. It's one of those things that absolutely annoys me to review/correct but I understand that it is a major failing and makes me appear to have a weak grasp on storytelling. I am maybe a bit more careless on many things in fanfic. I will try harder!
When pulling off complex comparisons, it’s best to keep sentences as short and simple as possible, ( ... )
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
(The comment has been removed)
I'm so need this magic program! It's can break captchas automatically! Activate accounts via email automatically too! Absolutely great software! Help me!
And did you hear news - price for XRumer 5.0 Palladium will grow up to $540 after 15 may 2009... And XRumer 2.9 and 3.0 - too old versions, it's cant break modern catpchas and cant break modern anti-bot protections. But XRumer 5.0 Palladium CAN!!!!
So help me for download this great soft for free! Thanks!
Reply
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