(Untitled)

[muggy_mountain]

For bottle_of_shine for my fic request meme. She wanted Chappu, Lulu and politics. I twisted the theme a touch and it is secretly AU. Oh, yes.

Fandom: FFX
Characters: Chappu, Lulu, Wakka, Beclem, Luzzu
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 461
Title: Sovereign Heart

Comments

[auronlu]

Ouch. I was thinking they'd gone off after he died, but I'm hazy on the chronology, and this seems so painfully plausible.

FFX weaves so many sweet tragedies, and you just wove another patch on the quilt. I love the anger you give Chappu. I always thought of him as gentle, but this feels right-- and he might well understand Lulu better if he had a spark like that inside.

I'm not able to nitpick anything here; the whole emotion and tone of it is very seamless. But the paragraph about him welcoming her back after he'd already mourned her once is gut-wrencher.

I love the fact that he doesn't take to the machina blithely -- something that would please and sadden Wakka. There's a bitterness in Chappu's heresy, along with all the rest.

Amazing how powerful a piece can be when a huge part of its weight is never mentioned: Chappu's fate.

[muggy_mountain]

The chronology is off, I think...*cheerily adds "AU" tag*.

Hah.

Thank you.

[lassarina]

Oooh. Ouch. My favourite pairing from FFX. I really like it, especially the phrase "his girl" which echoes what Luzzu says later at Mushroom Rock. I also like the informality of Chappu's internal monologue, and how bitter and angry and hurt he is that Lulu left him not once but twice, and the second time she took Wakka with him. It's so lovely.

[mneme_forgets]

This is gorgeous and sad and makes Chappu into a real person for me with real motives. I like the idea much better that Chappu goes off out of a sense of helplessness and uncertainty rather than simple machismo (gotta keep my girl safe), not that the latter isn't good and noble. It's just quite a cliche and I really don't see Lulu as ever allowing such an attitude to exist.

I really like Chappu's hesitancy about using the machina too.

Nitpicking:
"But this kind of stuff -the stinging grief, the scalding resent, and the hollow loneliness, was way too much for words." Replace "resent" with "resentment."

[muggy_mountain]

Thanks so much, especially the nitpicking!