Friends with minor benefits

[muffinandmochi]

Was talking to a girlfriend the other day and the subject of Actor Guy came up (okay, I brought him up). "I'm over it," I said, trying to sound blase, and I was struck at how unconvincing I was, even to myself. Shit, I'm totally not over it, I realized. STILL.So annoyed about that. I'm feeling a little burned still from the whole thing and not

Comments

[supertoki]

are you not over AG himself or what he represented (marriage, family, bond, etc)? I realize in the past I felt this way and it was what the person represented than the actual person (because I am totally honest with myself, the person didn't make me happy/bring me joy/or treat me nicely) and I had to grieve over the loss of the intangible or what I hoped for rather than the loss of the person from my life. just throwing this out there as a thought!

[muffinandmochi]

Hmm. My first thought is that I'm not over AG himself. But now that you mention it, I think that he did represent a lot that I'm mourning the loss of. I hadn't felt that close to someone since Steven, and I was thick as thieves with his family and friends, and it felt so good to be with someone who seemed to be crazy about me (I never got that feeling with R., the boyfriend before AG). But if I'm honest with myself about the end of the relationship -- he totally disappeared, and made me feel really shitty. All without ever owning up to it. That part sucked. I'm totally over that!

Because I'm watching Mad Men, he sort of reminds me of Don Draper in that he only likes the beginning of things, but I could only hold his interest for so long. Thanks for the reminder. I'm better off without him.

[supertoki]

He sounds just like M! A Peter Pan who never wants to grow up and is so insecure they can't fathom being a good person to their partner -- like just lack that ability completely! Thank god we both realized it! I know it sucks, but for me it was identifying my really hurt feelings were about losing the things I hoped for (marriage, babies etc) than the actual loser!! Can't even imagine if I had ended up marrying M..... what a disaster it would have been....