Comments | mudblood428: Maternity Musings: The Home Stretch.

mudblood428

Maternity Musings: The Home Stretch.

Sep 01, 2012 11:14

I'm up early on Saturday mornings, usually stirred out of bed by a combination of aching hips and hunger. (These days "getting up" has a different meaning than "waking up" since I'm now waking about 5 times a night from the bathroom breaks or - my favorite - the baby's seemingly endless hiccuping.) This morning, my husband is asleep in bed, leaving ( Read more... )

rl, baby

Comments 19

major_dallas September 1 2012, 16:07:05 UTC

not a mom, or a dad, just an uncle who gets to pinch hit as a father-figure for my oldest nephew who stays with me during the school year for an education far superior to the one he would get at home. How do I balance it all out, by working overnites...which leads to fatness, irritability, and the irrational fear of the sun.

I don't recomend it...

So, missing pizza yet? :p

mudblood428 September 1 2012, 17:39:02 UTC

Lol - so you've become a vampire? I'm headed there myself! You're truly a blessing in your nephew's life (the proof is in that photo you posted of the two of you). Hopefully that makes the overnight grind worth it. :)

major_dallas September 1 2012, 18:04:02 UTC

Nope, not that nephew(that one is four and muy chiple ), the other one, I may have posted a short vid of him being dragged around on the ground by my puppy rotty Tex a few months back, but anyways. My vampiric ways are coming to an end as I've had it with overnites, career change time!

The Grind, yeah, just wait until the daughter comes along, muwahahaha!

lunalovepotter September 1 2012, 16:19:22 UTC

Alas, I have reached the age where motherhood (at least in the natural biological sense) is a relative impossibility. Honestly I didn't really feel that much regret about not having kids, up until about a year ago. Now I feel those pangs pretty regularly, especially since a younger co-worker of mine and my cousin's girlfriend both had babies in the last four months. Both were girls, both are heartstoppingly beautiful, and both started me on this path of wondering what might have been. For now I am anxiously awaiting - but withholding my hints - for my sister to start her family. She is marrying this October, and has promised the grandparents-to-be that children are in the future. I will settle for being the best aunt I can be, and that will be enough ( ... )

ext_1334915 September 1 2012, 16:56:03 UTC

I think you will be amazed at how clear things become once the baby is a part of your life. You will have passing whims of what could be, but none of it is as rewarding as watching a child grow and blossom (the blossoming is a good metaphor for labor and birth too! :) ) You will discover a piece of yourself (once you get some sleep) that you didn't know was there, and learn things about yourself that you thought you would feel different about. It is as much about growth for your child as it is for you and your family as a whole.

It is not an easy transition, especially having to juggle work (I work part time and we avoid daycare, and that helps a lot), and nursing and wanting to be there, but everyone finds a balancing act, and it is important to understand that the best people you can work for are other people who have families as well. Good luck, I can't wait to hear how your labor goes! :)

mudblood428 September 1 2012, 17:51:23 UTC

Thanks so much for adding your voice to the chorus (Ha!) of friends who have assured me of the same. The shift into parenthood is so dramatic, it's easy for the fear of failure to dominate your thoughts before the baby comes into your life. I try to visualize what that life will look like, and it feels a little like trying to foresee the act of walking after having a leg amputated! I know you're right, though - and that somehow the universe will support this transition in spite of all my anxiety. Thanks again for the support, and I look forward to introducing our little guy to you and the rest of SDS soon!

mudblood428 September 1 2012, 17:45:12 UTC

I definitely believe that people can be awesome surrogate moms to their friends and families' children. I had a band director whose wife was also a school music teacher - neither of them had children. But when asked, they confessed that the reason why they never had kids was because all their students were their children. Speaking as one of their students/daughters, they truly took care of us and loved us in a way that imprints them on our hearts as far more than just teachers. You'll usher your neices and nephews into the world of HP and - even better - doubtlessly become a vital part of their nurturing and growth as a result.

Thanks so much for the well wishes. I can't wait to introduce him to all his loving, wonderful LJ fans!

leelastarsky September 1 2012, 17:04:18 UTC

I left a very lucrative career to have baby#1. But I had the understanding with my employer that I'd be able to go back part time in the future. I did manage to get a few days here and there after Huw turned 1, but the recession hit and there was no work so my part time possibility vanished. Plus I had a child with a disability, so my child care options were...more difficult ( ... )

mudblood428 September 1 2012, 18:01:16 UTC

So much admiration for you and all you went through for your children. And there are so many that have had to make similar decisions, driven to choices they may not have made otherwise because of finances, disabilities, fill-in-the-blank. From what I can tell, despite everything you've all been through as a family, you're still close and love each other dearly, and at the end of the day, that's a success worth celebrating!

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, Leela. Someday, I would love to personally contribute to your freelancing career and get a special commish for my special boy!

tripperfunster September 1 2012, 17:44:36 UTC

IMHO, you will care a lot less about your career once the baby is born. Not that you won't care, but the world suddenly shifts and priorities slide around ( ... )

mudblood428 September 1 2012, 18:09:12 UTC

You and my sister could be related just based on your advice alone. On some level, I absolutely think my instincts will kick in and all my Type-A preparation will be thrown out the window anyway. As for priorities, I can definitely see things getting rearranged naturally. It's just so hard to envision considering I've spent the majority of my life being some version of a workaholic. I'll be honest -- there's a major part of me that's looking forward to having a child so that I can be forced into a mindset where I can release outcomes and just do my best, even if my best isn't perfect (or contributes to a strategic end).

Thanks so much for your awesome advice, Tripper, and for reminding me that what's ahead will be "fantastic and scary and hilarious and heartbreaking and sweet...."

naiad8 September 1 2012, 18:02:54 UTC

One day at a time is absolutely a mantra that will serve you well. Whether it is dealing with work/baby situation or dealing with a child with special needs, that's what keeps you sane. Also, it's "what works for your family is just fine". With my older son, he had problems nursing due to a suck-swallow-breathe rhythm problem (probably first sign of his autism). I nursed as much as I could and supplemented with formula and that was ok! You don't have to pick all one way or the other. With Lia, I had supply problems and had to supplement for the first 2 months and pump endlessly, but now I've caught up and no more formula (whew). You do what you need to do in order to make you life work and your babies happy ( ... )