No matter how many times I read this...

Nov 28, 2011 21:39

...I never feel like I've advanced much beyond "abject failure".

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolypiano.html

*sigh*

urls, tacit, polyamoury, reading

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Comments 13

horsetraveller November 29 2011, 02:55:03 UTC
I don't know if this helps, but I don't find that article all that helpful.

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much_ado November 29 2011, 03:38:42 UTC
Anything in particular you find unhelpful about it?

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roozle November 29 2011, 04:47:14 UTC
I don't know what horsetraveller found unhelpful about it, but what I found off-putting was the author's use of the word "easy" to describe the kinds of self-change he is advocating. Changing your beliefs about who you are is not "easy", figuring out how a secure person acts when you're not one and even determining what your new choices are is not "easy". And consistently practicing anything, let alone actions and beliefs that make you uncomfortable is not "easy".

It reminds me of a piece of advice I once learned about using the word "just" when giving directions. If you say "just do X", you're more often than not pointing to something in which you have unconscious expertise, but not necessarily giving sufficient guidance to someone for whom "just edit the registry" or "just make a white sauce" is not enough information.

I did rather like the first section of the essay though. Good food for thought there.

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horsetraveller November 29 2011, 23:45:56 UTC
On first reading, I got annoyed very close to the top and then as I read it was more bla bla bla. I'm going to try reading it from the end to see if what annoyed me becomes clear.

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dicea November 29 2011, 03:11:49 UTC
That writer has a particular gift for observing patterns and for describing what he observes in relation to those patterns. This can be really useful stuff. It can also be stuff that creates a structure that is only meaningful from a limited perspective.

If you don't feel like you've advanced when you look at someone else's perspective then maybe that's not the perspective by which you should be judging your progress.

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much_ado November 29 2011, 03:37:16 UTC
I recognize what you're saying as being akin to the Einstein quote about judging a fish by its ability to climb trees... and it helps, just not nearly enough tonight, for some reason.

One day at a time, one breath at a time, one foot in front of the other...

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make_your_move November 29 2011, 03:36:38 UTC
A failure is one who doesn't try. That's not you right now.

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much_ado November 29 2011, 03:38:09 UTC
Thank you, lady.

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dairymilk November 29 2011, 18:08:38 UTC
Well said!

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freya46 November 29 2011, 03:40:32 UTC
(((((HUGS)))

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bumponalog November 29 2011, 09:36:56 UTC
Following those guidelines I could probably become a really good axe murderer too.
Thing is though - I dont fancy the idea - it just isn't me.

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