These posts are not meant as advice; just Michelle thinking out loud

[msagara]

When I started writing these posts well over a year ago, I had two things in mind.

First, I wanted to write about how my ASD son and elementary school. I wanted to talk about how the environment was safe, and the efforts required to make it safe for him. The efforts are not small, and they're not about punishment. If the environment does not feel

Comments

[elialshadowpine]

Thank you again for these, btw. I am personally childfree with no desire to have kids of my own, but there are a lot of things that you have talked about with your son that I have seen in myself and my sister (now that I have insurance again, going to be looking at seeing a psych qualified to evaluate for ASD).

While I have definitely read parents talking about their kid's ASD that came across preaching or trying to tell people how they should be doing things, I don't think I ever got that impression from anything that you have said. You've always gone out of your way to regularly add the disclaimer that this is your son, and not all ASD kids are the same. (Lord, just the variation between myself and my sister was huge.)

I understand why you want to clarify, though, and appreciate that you did. But, in case you were worried that you might be coming off as preachy... I don't think you were :)

[msagara]

But, in case you were worried that you might be coming off as preachy... I don't think you were :)

It’s something I worry about sometimes because when I’m over-focused I speak very definitely, so thank you for this.

[heinous_bitca]

What Nonny said.

I'm also childfree (and too old to start now), but my nephew is 5 going on 6 and is in the autism spectrum, so I've become more aware of the difficulties he's going to face. Reading your posts have made me more aware of what my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are having to deal with on a regular basis with their son.

I've also passed along your posts to a coworker, since we work in education reform and she deals specifically with school climate issues.

[thebluerose]

I have at least one friend who is ASD, so I am another non parent and deliberately childfree adult who also found these posts not just interesting, but fascinating.

Personally, I think if everyone had to parent in the ways you describe, the resulting outcomes would overall be a lot better, I say this in relation to how your circumstances with your son forced you to live by all the same rules, and not "because I said so". I think thats a really powerful thing to learn growing up.

[lily_bless_her]

I have enjoyed your posts immensely. As you say parenting is a difficult thing and very personal! I have found being the single parent of two children with learning difficulties very isolating, particularly living in a small rural town (less than 3000 people). People don't accept children who are different in a community like this. People always have an opinion - I have been told many times that my eldest son and heir is 'ignorant', just because he doesn't conform with society's norms. Social niceties, are just niceties. My son doesn't see the point and doesn't understand them. Acceptance appears to be much easier if your child has a disability that is visual.I am very proud of my sons and love them to bits.

[msagara]

have found being the single parent of two children with learning difficulties very isolating

I think it was easier for me because I live in Toronto, which is not a small community, and there were a lot of things I could do that took me out of the house.

The Science Centre, for instance, expects all of their visitors to touch things or climb things or run through things - so taking my 3 year old there was only an exercise in endurance, and not a guarantee that other people would be cursing my parenting for the entire duration. He was always delighted to go there because he really could touch everything.

[mtlawson]

The most valuable thing I've gotten out of your posts, Michelle, is the perspective.

I know you're not me, and neither are you my wife, but it does help to see how someone else does it, and essentially lays bare part of their life. It's not an easy thing to do, and I realize that most people wouldn't find these articles interesting, but I find the value in the humanity inside. The love for your family is evident throughout all of these posts, and that is the true value here.

If you're still willing to share, I'm willing to read. It also doesn't have to be strictly on ASD, either.

[la_marquise_de_]

I, for one, learn from observing and listening to others -- I belong to that group who goes and looks for a book for answers. So I appreciate these posts because they offer an glimpse into other experiences, other ways of being and doing.
So, thank you.