great moments in mental hygiene: first edition
Ah, yes. I remember the night I should have been looking for jobs back in 2007 but instead spent all night on my sister's computer watching old mental hygiene and military training films online. I remember scouring them for homoerotic content and outrageously sexist LULz, chest-beating jingoism and cheesy moralizing. Somehow, I don't remember taking such meticulous notes and e-mailing them to myself. Links, quotes, highlights below, with times. I knew I'd need this some day.
Soapy The Germ Fighter (1951)
Creative Commons/Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/soapy_the_germ_fighter
Themes: Masculinity, gender roles, hygiene, children, cleanliness, health
Hilarity/Highlights:
(1:25) “Billy had the wrong idea about being clean. Wash, wash, wash... They just want me to be a sissy.”
(2:40-3:00) “I see a cowboy. He’s washing up. There’s nothing sissy about that cowboy, is there? He’s a bronco buster, he rides wild horses!”
(5:15) [image] gripping the bat, manhandling the pole
(5:29) [image] Flush
Sex Hygiene (1942)
Creative Commons/Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/SEX.HYGIENE
Themes: military, WWII, STD, venereal disease, prostitution
Hilarity:
(3:00-3:03) “Army recognizes large number of men...and the satisfaction of their sexual impulses”
(3:27) “In the event of contact with a contaminated woman...”
(5:04) “Most men know less about their own bodies, than they do about their automobiles”
(5:35) [image] LOL... hilarious sequence of military officer outlining, pointing at male genitals, then cutting to wide-eyed, intense-looking soldier
(8:58) [image] Showing syphilis sores, then cuts to chubby soldier looking traumatized and shaking his head
(14:40) [image] illustration of hand ‘milking’ or squeezing gonorrhea juice out of diagrammed penis. MAJOR LULZ!
(16:30) “Do not allow yourself to be treated by a quack, or druggist... they will do you more harm than good.”
(18:40) “First, keep something between you and the germs of venereal disease by using a GOOD rubber”
(19:00-19:40) [image] of med guy blowing up a condom. Followed by all sorts of priceless audio and imagery... deer in headlights soldier @19:29
(19:47) “If the woman has gonorrhea or syphilis, AS SHE PROBABLY HAS, there will be millions of germs...”
(23:00...) “Medical officers must present evidence of high sexual qualifications... their service to the army man is free...”
(24:00) “Drunkenness is responsible for much venereal disease”
Personal Hygiene Part I (ca. 1950)
Creative commons/Public domain
http://www.archive.org/details/Personal1950
Themes: Military, hygiene, masculinity, barracks, folk songs
Hilarity:
(2:00) “Homer Turner, he seems to by troubled from head to foot... everything from galloping dandruff, to creeping epidermal ???tosis, to athlete’s foot.”
(3:00-3:10) [image] carrying dirty guy off, throwing in water
(4:40) “That’s why even your best friend won’t tell ya” “Are you trying to tell me that I smell?” “Oh, no, no. I smell. You stink.” Brilliant conversation about the ubiquity of germs ensues.
(9:30) Song - “What do you do with a dirty soldier” Ends on line /without BO in the mornin’/
(10:20-11:15) ENTIRE SHOWER SCENE IS LULZ AND ~HOMO!~
(13:11) “As Confucius says: [in Chinky accent] Man who do not change socks daily, change friend daily!”
Part II http://www.archive.org/details/Personal1950_2
(1:38) “They’ve got an awful lot of carbohydrates in ‘em”
(3:45) “Didya ever hear about diarrhea, Homer?” “It’s some sorta...sickness”
(6:50) “Looks like I’m not the only one in this outfit that’s a personal hygiene d???”
(8:35) “Thinks it’s a bunch of namby pamby sissy stuff...”
(13:40) Song “Spic n span, you’ll live long, until you’re old and grey.”
Time Out for Trouble (1961)
Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/time_out_for_trouble
Themes: misogyny, domestic bliss, household accidents, suburban ennui, housewives, mother-in-law tension
Highlights:
Opening: Bizarre talking clock, evil
(3:20) Housewife screaming at her boys, "you know I don’t allow those... get out of here," then trips over phone cord, hits head and moans
(4:38) Knocks over pot from camera upshot, spills boiling eggs on legs
(5:31) Weird ‘rolling’ of glass, seems kinda phallic
(6:10...) random shots of mouths, little girl, wedding ring
(7:10) “You see, back when he was younger, he got all in a ??? over her... well, a part of her, anyway [CUTS TO ANGLED CLOSE UP OF HER TITS]
(7:52) “She didn’t have anything in that pretty little head of hers” Then cuts to shot of her reading magazine article w/ headline: MY HUSBAND CALLED ME EASY
(9:23) Slaps her on the ass, she hits her head on counter... pause, then he starts cackling
10:25 “Face your feelings” written in 50/60’s script
10:47 “Beware of Boredom” written, followed by “Watch for danger” Repeated in bold at 18:40
14:06 “You gonna get me some breakfast?” “Well, your majesty, maybe it’s about time you get your own breakfast” YOU GO GIRL
15:15 Sticking finger in rotary dial phone repeatedly... asshole imagery?
Body Care and Grooming (1948)
Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/BodyCare1948
Themes: Female appearance, grooming, misogyny, sexism, hygiene, college, sexual attraction
(2:15) Describing unkempt girl, not one of ‘beauties of nature’ - “You don’t seem to be one of the types to make this guy behave like a human being” LOL OUCH! ...little harsh, Gretch
(3:29) LOL “But good appearance is more than just dressing up like a fashion plate”
(5:20) “Almost all skin...highly sensitive nerves...” innuendo possibilities
(6:37) “Most everyone sweats...” LOL O RLY?
(8:30) “This is really the best part of the shower... it stimulates and invigorates the skin all over!”
(9:18) “While it may not be necessary for most of you, some girls use a lubricating crème.” what?
(10:25/10:55) advice on keeping nails short, trimmed, smooth (finger in the ass potential), “and speaking of nails, don’t forget, you have 20 of them”
How to Be Well Groomed (1949)
Public Domain
Themes: hygiene, dating, youth
0:39 Brother to sister “Say, you look smooth!”
2:47 “Sue avoids red nail polish, as it would call attention to her stubby hands!”
4:40 “keeps his clothes clean and pressed, so he’s not as limited in selection. How about these slacks, and this shirt? How WILL don look in this combination? Let’s hope he’ll pay a little attention to patterns, and colors.”
End “...for your success depends a great deal on how you look.”
Rest and Health (1949)
http://www.archive.org/details/RestandH1949
1:50 “If you don’t get enough sleep you won’t have the pep to do other things... “ Then minutes later after coach comes in, friend says, in a queeny way, “I was just LEAVING.”
3:36 (About his father) See, he spends most of his day sitting. By the evening, he’s ready for some exercise.”
4:57 “Everyone but me. And Sue. She didn’t have much fun either. She’s still pretty sore.”
7:19 “Well then there’s your trouble. You have to try it again and again until it becomes a habit! It may not be easy the first few times” OMG THIS, Combined with the above line... THEY ARE JUST ASKING FOR IT!!!!! Turns to friend and says “right, son”, who replies “I never have any trouble”
7:50 Coach continues with some lines about “you should be tired, but not too tired... take a warm bath. Your day should include a variety of activities, preferably some exercise late in the afternoon.
10:15 “Don’t worry, he’s eligible, with plenty to spare now”
above found through search “hygiene” all media, sorted by media type
Soapy The Germ Fighter (1951)
Creative Commons/Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/soapy_the_germ_fighter
Themes: Masculinity, gender roles, hygiene, children, cleanliness, health
Hilarity/Highlights:
(1:25) “Billy had the wrong idea about being clean. Wash, wash, wash... They just want me to be a sissy.”
(2:40-3:00) “I see a cowboy. He’s washing up. There’s nothing sissy about that cowboy, is there? He’s a bronco buster, he rides wild horses!”
(5:15) [image] gripping the bat, manhandling the pole
(5:29) [image] Flush
Sex Hygiene (1942)
Creative Commons/Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/SEX.HYGIENE
Themes: military, WWII, STD, venereal disease, prostitution
Hilarity:
(3:00-3:03) “Army recognizes large number of men...and the satisfaction of their sexual impulses”
(3:27) “In the event of contact with a contaminated woman...”
(5:04) “Most men know less about their own bodies, than they do about their automobiles”
(5:35) [image] LOL... hilarious sequence of military officer outlining, pointing at male genitals, then cutting to wide-eyed, intense-looking soldier
(8:58) [image] Showing syphilis sores, then cuts to chubby soldier looking traumatized and shaking his head
(14:40) [image] illustration of hand ‘milking’ or squeezing gonorrhea juice out of diagrammed penis. MAJOR LULZ!
(16:30) “Do not allow yourself to be treated by a quack, or druggist... they will do you more harm than good.”
(18:40) “First, keep something between you and the germs of venereal disease by using a GOOD rubber”
(19:00-19:40) [image] of med guy blowing up a condom. Followed by all sorts of priceless audio and imagery... deer in headlights soldier @19:29
(19:47) “If the woman has gonorrhea or syphilis, AS SHE PROBABLY HAS, there will be millions of germs...”
(23:00...) “Medical officers must present evidence of high sexual qualifications... their service to the army man is free...”
(24:00) “Drunkenness is responsible for much venereal disease”
Personal Hygiene Part I (ca. 1950)
Creative commons/Public domain
http://www.archive.org/details/Personal1950
Themes: Military, hygiene, masculinity, barracks, folk songs
Hilarity:
(2:00) “Homer Turner, he seems to by troubled from head to foot... everything from galloping dandruff, to creeping epidermal ???tosis, to athlete’s foot.”
(3:00-3:10) [image] carrying dirty guy off, throwing in water
(4:40) “That’s why even your best friend won’t tell ya” “Are you trying to tell me that I smell?” “Oh, no, no. I smell. You stink.” Brilliant conversation about the ubiquity of germs ensues.
(9:30) Song - “What do you do with a dirty soldier” Ends on line /without BO in the mornin’/
(10:20-11:15) ENTIRE SHOWER SCENE IS LULZ AND ~HOMO!~
(13:11) “As Confucius says: [in Chinky accent] Man who do not change socks daily, change friend daily!”
Part II http://www.archive.org/details/Personal1950_2
(1:38) “They’ve got an awful lot of carbohydrates in ‘em”
(3:45) “Didya ever hear about diarrhea, Homer?” “It’s some sorta...sickness”
(6:50) “Looks like I’m not the only one in this outfit that’s a personal hygiene d???”
(8:35) “Thinks it’s a bunch of namby pamby sissy stuff...”
(13:40) Song “Spic n span, you’ll live long, until you’re old and grey.”
Time Out for Trouble (1961)
Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/time_out_for_trouble
Themes: misogyny, domestic bliss, household accidents, suburban ennui, housewives, mother-in-law tension
Highlights:
Opening: Bizarre talking clock, evil
(3:20) Housewife screaming at her boys, "you know I don’t allow those... get out of here," then trips over phone cord, hits head and moans
(4:38) Knocks over pot from camera upshot, spills boiling eggs on legs
(5:31) Weird ‘rolling’ of glass, seems kinda phallic
(6:10...) random shots of mouths, little girl, wedding ring
(7:10) “You see, back when he was younger, he got all in a ??? over her... well, a part of her, anyway [CUTS TO ANGLED CLOSE UP OF HER TITS]
(7:52) “She didn’t have anything in that pretty little head of hers” Then cuts to shot of her reading magazine article w/ headline: MY HUSBAND CALLED ME EASY
(9:23) Slaps her on the ass, she hits her head on counter... pause, then he starts cackling
10:25 “Face your feelings” written in 50/60’s script
10:47 “Beware of Boredom” written, followed by “Watch for danger” Repeated in bold at 18:40
14:06 “You gonna get me some breakfast?” “Well, your majesty, maybe it’s about time you get your own breakfast” YOU GO GIRL
15:15 Sticking finger in rotary dial phone repeatedly... asshole imagery?
Body Care and Grooming (1948)
Public Domain
http://www.archive.org/details/BodyCare1948
Themes: Female appearance, grooming, misogyny, sexism, hygiene, college, sexual attraction
(2:15) Describing unkempt girl, not one of ‘beauties of nature’ - “You don’t seem to be one of the types to make this guy behave like a human being” LOL OUCH! ...little harsh, Gretch
(3:29) LOL “But good appearance is more than just dressing up like a fashion plate”
(5:20) “Almost all skin...highly sensitive nerves...” innuendo possibilities
(6:37) “Most everyone sweats...” LOL O RLY?
(8:30) “This is really the best part of the shower... it stimulates and invigorates the skin all over!”
(9:18) “While it may not be necessary for most of you, some girls use a lubricating crème.” what?
(10:25/10:55) advice on keeping nails short, trimmed, smooth (finger in the ass potential), “and speaking of nails, don’t forget, you have 20 of them”
How to Be Well Groomed (1949)
Public Domain
Themes: hygiene, dating, youth
0:39 Brother to sister “Say, you look smooth!”
2:47 “Sue avoids red nail polish, as it would call attention to her stubby hands!”
4:40 “keeps his clothes clean and pressed, so he’s not as limited in selection. How about these slacks, and this shirt? How WILL don look in this combination? Let’s hope he’ll pay a little attention to patterns, and colors.”
End “...for your success depends a great deal on how you look.”
Rest and Health (1949)
http://www.archive.org/details/RestandH1949
1:50 “If you don’t get enough sleep you won’t have the pep to do other things... “ Then minutes later after coach comes in, friend says, in a queeny way, “I was just LEAVING.”
3:36 (About his father) See, he spends most of his day sitting. By the evening, he’s ready for some exercise.”
4:57 “Everyone but me. And Sue. She didn’t have much fun either. She’s still pretty sore.”
7:19 “Well then there’s your trouble. You have to try it again and again until it becomes a habit! It may not be easy the first few times” OMG THIS, Combined with the above line... THEY ARE JUST ASKING FOR IT!!!!! Turns to friend and says “right, son”, who replies “I never have any trouble”
7:50 Coach continues with some lines about “you should be tired, but not too tired... take a warm bath. Your day should include a variety of activities, preferably some exercise late in the afternoon.
10:15 “Don’t worry, he’s eligible, with plenty to spare now”
above found through search “hygiene” all media, sorted by media type