Fic: Tea & Domesticity
Title: Tea & Domesticity
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: PG
Spoilers: School Reunion
Summary: Sarah Jane is the voice of reason in a mad, mad universe.
A/N: Thanks to beck_liz for betaing. And who I also stole the summary, from a comment she made after reading the fic. :D
I'm not exactly sure where this came from, other than I was snickering about the Doctor and Rose's ability to both act like five-year-olds when in an argument. I seem to have lost the skill to determine if this is crack!fic, parody or just plain humor.
Also on AO3: here.
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*
It started out as a perfect spring day. In Sarah Jane's mind, days didn't get much better than this. She'd just wrapped up an investigation into the strange goings-on at the power station (aliens, of course), and all that was on her agenda for the day was having lunch with her editor who wanted to congratulate her on her latest piece. And to top it all off, the weather was beautiful. Gardening would definitely--
She looked up from her newspaper towards the familiar sound coming from her garden.
Well, the Doctor certainly hadn't been on her agenda, but he never really was the type to stick to anyone's schedule.
The sound of the slamming TARDIS door made her move a bit quicker to her own door. She opened it to one Rose Tyler storming up to her. The TARDIS door opened again, the Doctor scowling as he emerged.
"Sarah Jane! So good to see you!" Rose caught her up into a hug.
She patted her. "Good to see you too, Rose. And Doctor."
"Sarah Jane," he said back in greeting, the perturbed look not leaving his face. He started towards the doorway, but Rose quickly held up a hand.
"No, you can stay out here, thanks. Private conversation. Mysterious human thing. You wouldn't understand."
"Fine!"
"Yes, fine!"
"Go and have a cup of tea! See if I care!"
"I will!" Rose strode past Sarah Jane into the house.
And apparently she was having tea with Rose this morning. Maybe this was one of those time things where they'd made an appointment to have a cup of tea together, but hadn't actually made the appointment yet... But wouldn't she still know about it now then?
She pushed aside that confusing line of thinking and poked her head into the lounge. Rose had deposited herself on the sofa, her back to the window that looked out into the garden. And looked out at the Doctor, who was now pacing in front of the TARDIS, engaged in some sort of angry conversation with himself.
"So. Bit of a tiff?" Sarah Jane asked Rose.
"Oh, not at all." Rose raised her voice so that it would carry through the open window out into the garden. "THE DOCTOR'S JUST BEING A TOTAL GIT."
He yelled back. "OH! A GIT, AM I? WELL, MAYBE I'LL JUST LEAVE THEN! VROOOP. VROOOP. VROOOP."
"YEAH, YOU'RE MAKING TARDIS NOISES WITH YOUR MOUTH."
"AM NOT!"
Sarah Jane put a hand to her head and mustered all her energy not to sigh. "I'll just fetch us some tea."
Rose gave her somewhat of a forced smile. "Sounds great."
Definitely not on her agenda.
Not that she couldn't relate, she thought as she made her way to the kitchen. There were a few times she had wanted to throttle the Doctor, and probably a few times the feeling was mutual. It was natural to have the occasional argument, especially considering that the Doctor was involved. Sarah Jane was suddenly glad for the fact that she'd gotten to go back to her own home most nights, instead of living on the TARDIS.
Shortly the water was heated and a box of biscuits pulled from the cupboard. She returned to the lounge and set the tea in front of Rose, who didn't touch anything, but instead frowned at her hands.
Sarah Jane sat down and picked up her cup. From over Rose's shoulder, she watched the Doctor continuing to pace outside. "So, what happened?"
"He refuses to tell me where the toothbrushes come from."
Sarah Jane blinked. "Sorry, I thought you said..." She shook her head. "Did you just say...toothbrushes?"
"I did! These alien toothbrushes that have Venusian spearmint in them - he has boxes of them! And he won't say where they came from!" Rose suddenly looked a bit sheepish. "Right, it might sound silly--"
Might?
"--but does he have to be so...so mysterious about everything?"
"I suppose it's just his nature to be like that," Sarah Jane said, attempting to placate.
"You know what he told me when I first came on board and asked him where the food in the TARDIS came from? 'Mysterious alien thing. You wouldn't understand.' Turns out he made runs to the market when I was sleeping."
Sarah Jane was about to respond to that, although she hadn't quite figured out how to respond to that and hoped her mouth would work something out on its own, when her attention went back out to the garden. On a hunch. The Doctor had been left unattended, and unoccupied, for more than a few minutes, which meant...
As if on cue, the Doctor stopped pacing, his eyes fixed. He extracted the sonic screwdriver from his coat and headed over to her sundial.
That could not be good.
Inside the house, Rose was working herself into a good rant. "Yeah, the origin of the food was mysterious all right. Straight from the Tesco of Mystery! Why's it never, 'I got it from the market?'"
The Doctor poked at the sundial with his finger a few times, and Sarah Jane could have sworn he licked it, but obviously she was seeing things. The sonic screwdriver glowed as the Doctor pointed it at the sundial.
"...and I understand why he'd want to be called 'the Doctor' instead of just 'Harold,' but does it have to be this big secret? I was starting to think it was related to some creepy Time Lord thing, but turns out he just hates his name..."
The metallic part of the sundial came loose from the stone base and began to hover, to which the Doctor seemed pleased.
"...don't get me started on the whole same clothes day-after-day thing. Would jeans and a t-shirt kill him if we're just sitting around watching Heroes?"
Suddenly the sundial began to melt, oozing down over the base.
"...and his response to everything is, 'Mysterious alien thing. You wouldn't understand.'"
The Doctor grabbed some branches off the nearby tree, trying to cover up the former sundial before quickly walking away.
"Sarah Jane, I'm so glad you said I could come and find you when I needed to. I knew you'd understand." Rose smiled. "We'll have to do this more often."
Unexpected drop-ins during squabbles where Rose ranted about toothbrushes and the Doctor proceeded to destroy her stuff? Sarah Jane felt her eye begin to twitch.
"DOCTOR?" she called out. "ROSE HAS DECIDED TO STAY HERE."
"What?" Rose stared at her.
The Doctor also stared from his spot in the garden. "WHAT?"
Sarah Jane continued. "YES, THAT'S RIGHT. SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GO FIND YOURSELF A NEW ASSISTANT NOW. BETTER HURRY ALONG."
"What?!"
"WHAT?! ROSE?!"
Rose scurried up from the sofa, rushing out of the house. Sarah Jane followed to stand in the open doorway, a familiar metallic rolling sound coming from behind her. K-9 must have been lurking and had chosen not to show himself. Wise dog.
Sarah Jane watched as the Doctor and Rose slammed into a hug.
"Don't leave!"
"You don't leave!"
"You can be mysterious if you want! I'll pretend to believe that there are shoe gnomes that magically replace your Converses!"
"Walrus people! The toothbrushes are made by the walrus people! Long tusks, you know!"
Rose moved back. "Walrus people? Why in the world would you need to keep that a secret? That's actually mysterious and alien."
"Ooh, well, they're very modest. That's right, modest. They wouldn't want for it to get out that they're phenomenal toothbrush makers. A bit odd, I agree, but a lovely lot." His hand moved up to the back of his neck. "Oh, right. I might have accidentally married one of them once. Mysterious alien thing. You wouldn't understand."
Rose's mouth dropped open, and Sarah Jane quickly shut the door. And locked it.
"You know, K-9? I'm getting a bit tired of this old house. How do you feel about a move? No forwarding address?"
"Yes, mistress."
"Hold on, did she say 'Harold?'"
"Affirmative."
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Rating: PG
Spoilers: School Reunion
Summary: Sarah Jane is the voice of reason in a mad, mad universe.
A/N: Thanks to beck_liz for betaing. And who I also stole the summary, from a comment she made after reading the fic. :D
I'm not exactly sure where this came from, other than I was snickering about the Doctor and Rose's ability to both act like five-year-olds when in an argument. I seem to have lost the skill to determine if this is crack!fic, parody or just plain humor.
Also on AO3: here.
*
*
It started out as a perfect spring day. In Sarah Jane's mind, days didn't get much better than this. She'd just wrapped up an investigation into the strange goings-on at the power station (aliens, of course), and all that was on her agenda for the day was having lunch with her editor who wanted to congratulate her on her latest piece. And to top it all off, the weather was beautiful. Gardening would definitely--
She looked up from her newspaper towards the familiar sound coming from her garden.
Well, the Doctor certainly hadn't been on her agenda, but he never really was the type to stick to anyone's schedule.
The sound of the slamming TARDIS door made her move a bit quicker to her own door. She opened it to one Rose Tyler storming up to her. The TARDIS door opened again, the Doctor scowling as he emerged.
"Sarah Jane! So good to see you!" Rose caught her up into a hug.
She patted her. "Good to see you too, Rose. And Doctor."
"Sarah Jane," he said back in greeting, the perturbed look not leaving his face. He started towards the doorway, but Rose quickly held up a hand.
"No, you can stay out here, thanks. Private conversation. Mysterious human thing. You wouldn't understand."
"Fine!"
"Yes, fine!"
"Go and have a cup of tea! See if I care!"
"I will!" Rose strode past Sarah Jane into the house.
And apparently she was having tea with Rose this morning. Maybe this was one of those time things where they'd made an appointment to have a cup of tea together, but hadn't actually made the appointment yet... But wouldn't she still know about it now then?
She pushed aside that confusing line of thinking and poked her head into the lounge. Rose had deposited herself on the sofa, her back to the window that looked out into the garden. And looked out at the Doctor, who was now pacing in front of the TARDIS, engaged in some sort of angry conversation with himself.
"So. Bit of a tiff?" Sarah Jane asked Rose.
"Oh, not at all." Rose raised her voice so that it would carry through the open window out into the garden. "THE DOCTOR'S JUST BEING A TOTAL GIT."
He yelled back. "OH! A GIT, AM I? WELL, MAYBE I'LL JUST LEAVE THEN! VROOOP. VROOOP. VROOOP."
"YEAH, YOU'RE MAKING TARDIS NOISES WITH YOUR MOUTH."
"AM NOT!"
Sarah Jane put a hand to her head and mustered all her energy not to sigh. "I'll just fetch us some tea."
Rose gave her somewhat of a forced smile. "Sounds great."
Definitely not on her agenda.
Not that she couldn't relate, she thought as she made her way to the kitchen. There were a few times she had wanted to throttle the Doctor, and probably a few times the feeling was mutual. It was natural to have the occasional argument, especially considering that the Doctor was involved. Sarah Jane was suddenly glad for the fact that she'd gotten to go back to her own home most nights, instead of living on the TARDIS.
Shortly the water was heated and a box of biscuits pulled from the cupboard. She returned to the lounge and set the tea in front of Rose, who didn't touch anything, but instead frowned at her hands.
Sarah Jane sat down and picked up her cup. From over Rose's shoulder, she watched the Doctor continuing to pace outside. "So, what happened?"
"He refuses to tell me where the toothbrushes come from."
Sarah Jane blinked. "Sorry, I thought you said..." She shook her head. "Did you just say...toothbrushes?"
"I did! These alien toothbrushes that have Venusian spearmint in them - he has boxes of them! And he won't say where they came from!" Rose suddenly looked a bit sheepish. "Right, it might sound silly--"
Might?
"--but does he have to be so...so mysterious about everything?"
"I suppose it's just his nature to be like that," Sarah Jane said, attempting to placate.
"You know what he told me when I first came on board and asked him where the food in the TARDIS came from? 'Mysterious alien thing. You wouldn't understand.' Turns out he made runs to the market when I was sleeping."
Sarah Jane was about to respond to that, although she hadn't quite figured out how to respond to that and hoped her mouth would work something out on its own, when her attention went back out to the garden. On a hunch. The Doctor had been left unattended, and unoccupied, for more than a few minutes, which meant...
As if on cue, the Doctor stopped pacing, his eyes fixed. He extracted the sonic screwdriver from his coat and headed over to her sundial.
That could not be good.
Inside the house, Rose was working herself into a good rant. "Yeah, the origin of the food was mysterious all right. Straight from the Tesco of Mystery! Why's it never, 'I got it from the market?'"
The Doctor poked at the sundial with his finger a few times, and Sarah Jane could have sworn he licked it, but obviously she was seeing things. The sonic screwdriver glowed as the Doctor pointed it at the sundial.
"...and I understand why he'd want to be called 'the Doctor' instead of just 'Harold,' but does it have to be this big secret? I was starting to think it was related to some creepy Time Lord thing, but turns out he just hates his name..."
The metallic part of the sundial came loose from the stone base and began to hover, to which the Doctor seemed pleased.
"...don't get me started on the whole same clothes day-after-day thing. Would jeans and a t-shirt kill him if we're just sitting around watching Heroes?"
Suddenly the sundial began to melt, oozing down over the base.
"...and his response to everything is, 'Mysterious alien thing. You wouldn't understand.'"
The Doctor grabbed some branches off the nearby tree, trying to cover up the former sundial before quickly walking away.
"Sarah Jane, I'm so glad you said I could come and find you when I needed to. I knew you'd understand." Rose smiled. "We'll have to do this more often."
Unexpected drop-ins during squabbles where Rose ranted about toothbrushes and the Doctor proceeded to destroy her stuff? Sarah Jane felt her eye begin to twitch.
"DOCTOR?" she called out. "ROSE HAS DECIDED TO STAY HERE."
"What?" Rose stared at her.
The Doctor also stared from his spot in the garden. "WHAT?"
Sarah Jane continued. "YES, THAT'S RIGHT. SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GO FIND YOURSELF A NEW ASSISTANT NOW. BETTER HURRY ALONG."
"What?!"
"WHAT?! ROSE?!"
Rose scurried up from the sofa, rushing out of the house. Sarah Jane followed to stand in the open doorway, a familiar metallic rolling sound coming from behind her. K-9 must have been lurking and had chosen not to show himself. Wise dog.
Sarah Jane watched as the Doctor and Rose slammed into a hug.
"Don't leave!"
"You don't leave!"
"You can be mysterious if you want! I'll pretend to believe that there are shoe gnomes that magically replace your Converses!"
"Walrus people! The toothbrushes are made by the walrus people! Long tusks, you know!"
Rose moved back. "Walrus people? Why in the world would you need to keep that a secret? That's actually mysterious and alien."
"Ooh, well, they're very modest. That's right, modest. They wouldn't want for it to get out that they're phenomenal toothbrush makers. A bit odd, I agree, but a lovely lot." His hand moved up to the back of his neck. "Oh, right. I might have accidentally married one of them once. Mysterious alien thing. You wouldn't understand."
Rose's mouth dropped open, and Sarah Jane quickly shut the door. And locked it.
"You know, K-9? I'm getting a bit tired of this old house. How do you feel about a move? No forwarding address?"
"Yes, mistress."
"Hold on, did she say 'Harold?'"
"Affirmative."