Fic: A Bit Crowded
Title: A Bit Crowded
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Spoilers: None, really.
Rated: PG-ish
Summary: Things have been getting a bit crowded on the TARDIS, and the Doctor screws up.
A/N: Aaaand we have another crack!fic. This is just so, so silly and is the result of a conversation with goldy_dollar. Thanks again to beck_liz for giving it the once-over.
*
"What do you see?" the Doctor called out.
"Um...loads of plants," came Rose's answer over the TARDIS' communication system. "Oh, and a statue! Of a pig."
"Does it have wings?"
"No."
"Ooh, that can't be right. Are you sure it doesn't have wings?"
"Not unless they're invisible wings."
It had seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. The TARDIS had been getting more than a bit crowded -- it was as if some force of the universe never wanted anyone to leave. Jack, Martha, Donna, Mickey and even Jake now resided in the TARDIS. And of course Rose.
And it was the desire to spend some alone-time with Rose that prompted him to relocate the bedroom and throw a chameleon circuit on the door. There had been *way* too many interruptions lately, like Jack wanting to crawl into bed with them -- the "I'm scared" thing didn't fly -- or Donna wandering in and drunkenly passing out on the floor. He'd been fine with an unconscious Donna in the room, by the way, but for some reason it had been a mood killer for Rose.
However, he might have accidentally left out a couple of important details to the one person he actually wanted to find the room. And so Rose was now lost. Somewhere.
"I think I've seen a wingless pig before," Martha said over the comm system. "Or maybe it was a really fat wingless dog."
"Hey, I've seen the wingless dog!" Jack replied. "It wasn't fat though."
"The TARDIS has plants?" Donna asked.
The beautiful thing of the communication system was that it broadcast over the entire ship. While everyone was scattered in different rooms throughout the TARDIS, everyone knew that Rose was lost and that it was his fault. Which was just great.
"OH MY GOD!"
"ROSE! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"
"There are like a *million* ducks in this room!!"
"Right. Pretty sure one of my hearts just gave out, so I'd like to thank you for that."
"No, but REALLY! I had no idea you were into ducks!"
"I had no idea either. And I still don't know where you are."
"Oh, hey, Doctor?" Jack's voice broke in. "Sarah Jane was knocking at the door, so I let her in."
"Hello!"
More people to witness the fun. Things kept getting better and better.
"Hi, Sarah Jane!" Rose called out.
"Lost, eh? That happened to me once. While *with* the Doctor, I might add."
"I never get lost. I'm sure we were just taking the scenic route."
"Mmm hmm."
"Hold on, why haven't we heard from Mickey or Jake?"
"Oh! I know! They're in the media room having a snog on the sofa!"
"Thanks, Donna."
"HEY!" came Mickey's shout. "We're playing video games! Full red-blooded male here, who's into the girls! We're just passing the time!"
"Right."
"Uh huh."
"Sure."
"Whatever you say," Jake added.
The Doctor slapped a hand to his forehead. "Bloody hell, I don't care who's snogging who or even who's shagging which person, all I know is that *I'm* not getting laid!"
Silence.
"Did I just say that out loud?"
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes, and I'm gonna just hide down here for a while now, thanks."
Jack spoke up. "Hey, maybe this is some sort of Time Lord foreplay. It's a turn-on to play really confusing games of hide and seek."
There was laughter.
"I heard that," the Doctor said. "Martha and Sarah Jane, you're both on my list now, I hope you know."
"What about Jack?" Sarah Jane protested.
"Jack's always been on my list."
"You'd better believe it, baby."
"Sarah Jane, I think I'm really worried about being on this list now," Martha said. "You?"
"Terrified."
"Oh!" Rose called out. "I hear thumping!"
"No. Sorry. That's me," the Doctor said. "And my head. And the wall."
A loud mechanical whir blasted over the comm system and then stopped, followed by Donna's voice. "I found the blender!!"
"I like the sound of that," Jack said.
"I'm making margaritas! Who wants?"
"Totally," Martha replied.
Jack spoke up again. "Hey Donna. Take that all over to the media room. I'm interested in hearing Mickey's philosophy on passing the time. You in, Sarah Jane?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"I want a margarita too!" Rose called out.
"Hey! The idea was to get *away* from these people! Not to join some drunken impromptu TARDIS party!"
"Oh, RUDE!" Martha said.
"Manners never were his strong point," Sarah Jane agreed.
"Later, I guess, guys," Rose replied. "Oh! I just found an art gallery!"
"Is there a painting of a barn at the end?"
"Yes!"
"STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" he yelled, and switched off the comm system.
The Doctor took off like a shot down the corridor, the sound of laughter, and the blender, fading behind him.
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Spoilers: None, really.
Rated: PG-ish
Summary: Things have been getting a bit crowded on the TARDIS, and the Doctor screws up.
A/N: Aaaand we have another crack!fic. This is just so, so silly and is the result of a conversation with goldy_dollar. Thanks again to beck_liz for giving it the once-over.
*
"What do you see?" the Doctor called out.
"Um...loads of plants," came Rose's answer over the TARDIS' communication system. "Oh, and a statue! Of a pig."
"Does it have wings?"
"No."
"Ooh, that can't be right. Are you sure it doesn't have wings?"
"Not unless they're invisible wings."
It had seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. The TARDIS had been getting more than a bit crowded -- it was as if some force of the universe never wanted anyone to leave. Jack, Martha, Donna, Mickey and even Jake now resided in the TARDIS. And of course Rose.
And it was the desire to spend some alone-time with Rose that prompted him to relocate the bedroom and throw a chameleon circuit on the door. There had been *way* too many interruptions lately, like Jack wanting to crawl into bed with them -- the "I'm scared" thing didn't fly -- or Donna wandering in and drunkenly passing out on the floor. He'd been fine with an unconscious Donna in the room, by the way, but for some reason it had been a mood killer for Rose.
However, he might have accidentally left out a couple of important details to the one person he actually wanted to find the room. And so Rose was now lost. Somewhere.
"I think I've seen a wingless pig before," Martha said over the comm system. "Or maybe it was a really fat wingless dog."
"Hey, I've seen the wingless dog!" Jack replied. "It wasn't fat though."
"The TARDIS has plants?" Donna asked.
The beautiful thing of the communication system was that it broadcast over the entire ship. While everyone was scattered in different rooms throughout the TARDIS, everyone knew that Rose was lost and that it was his fault. Which was just great.
"OH MY GOD!"
"ROSE! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"
"There are like a *million* ducks in this room!!"
"Right. Pretty sure one of my hearts just gave out, so I'd like to thank you for that."
"No, but REALLY! I had no idea you were into ducks!"
"I had no idea either. And I still don't know where you are."
"Oh, hey, Doctor?" Jack's voice broke in. "Sarah Jane was knocking at the door, so I let her in."
"Hello!"
More people to witness the fun. Things kept getting better and better.
"Hi, Sarah Jane!" Rose called out.
"Lost, eh? That happened to me once. While *with* the Doctor, I might add."
"I never get lost. I'm sure we were just taking the scenic route."
"Mmm hmm."
"Hold on, why haven't we heard from Mickey or Jake?"
"Oh! I know! They're in the media room having a snog on the sofa!"
"Thanks, Donna."
"HEY!" came Mickey's shout. "We're playing video games! Full red-blooded male here, who's into the girls! We're just passing the time!"
"Right."
"Uh huh."
"Sure."
"Whatever you say," Jake added.
The Doctor slapped a hand to his forehead. "Bloody hell, I don't care who's snogging who or even who's shagging which person, all I know is that *I'm* not getting laid!"
Silence.
"Did I just say that out loud?"
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes, and I'm gonna just hide down here for a while now, thanks."
Jack spoke up. "Hey, maybe this is some sort of Time Lord foreplay. It's a turn-on to play really confusing games of hide and seek."
There was laughter.
"I heard that," the Doctor said. "Martha and Sarah Jane, you're both on my list now, I hope you know."
"What about Jack?" Sarah Jane protested.
"Jack's always been on my list."
"You'd better believe it, baby."
"Sarah Jane, I think I'm really worried about being on this list now," Martha said. "You?"
"Terrified."
"Oh!" Rose called out. "I hear thumping!"
"No. Sorry. That's me," the Doctor said. "And my head. And the wall."
A loud mechanical whir blasted over the comm system and then stopped, followed by Donna's voice. "I found the blender!!"
"I like the sound of that," Jack said.
"I'm making margaritas! Who wants?"
"Totally," Martha replied.
Jack spoke up again. "Hey Donna. Take that all over to the media room. I'm interested in hearing Mickey's philosophy on passing the time. You in, Sarah Jane?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"I want a margarita too!" Rose called out.
"Hey! The idea was to get *away* from these people! Not to join some drunken impromptu TARDIS party!"
"Oh, RUDE!" Martha said.
"Manners never were his strong point," Sarah Jane agreed.
"Later, I guess, guys," Rose replied. "Oh! I just found an art gallery!"
"Is there a painting of a barn at the end?"
"Yes!"
"STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" he yelled, and switched off the comm system.
The Doctor took off like a shot down the corridor, the sound of laughter, and the blender, fading behind him.