All That Glitters - Part 1
He takes a sip of the dark liquid and it scalds the tip of his tongue. It doesn’t matter, really, all that matters is that it’s caffeinated, he’s finally here and the doctors are still working on his best friend.
Well, his other best friend. Not that that matters either.
He hits number two on his speed dial one more time and the message sounds again, just as it had the last time and the three times before that. He sighs again and tries in earnest now to not get any more annoyed than he already is. He needs to focus.
It’s late, or early depending on your social calendar; the quiet hush of hospital workers doing their jobs and occasionally nodding sympathetically to the few friends and families of loved ones in their care sitting or pacing in the waiting room. Jensen has only been there an hour or so, lucky to have caught the last flight out of JFK.
He already filled out as much information as he could recall on her admission form, not surprisingly he knew almost all but for her insurance and Social Security Number and gave the nurse his information and the phone numbers for her parents. Jensen had explained to the admitting nurse at the desk that he was the only person closest to family in town that could check in on Genevieve. Yes, he had already contacted her parents who were with his and Jared’s parents somewhere in the Côte d’Azur. They too were catching the first planes they could, but it would take at least a day for them to arrive. Since it was Los Angeles, that reasoning was not uncommon among the jet set, wealthy elite. Unfazed, the nurse made a few notes on the chart.
She had told him to wait in the lounge and that she’d speak to the doctor attending Ms. Cortese. “Just try to relax Mr. Ackles, it may be awhile.”
Jensen takes another sip, the burn numbing itself and winces instead at the scorched taste of the bitter juice. It is hospital coffee and he shouldn’t be expecting Intelligentsia or something decent at this hour, even if it is Cedars-Sanai. Stretching his legs out and pinching the bridge of his nose, he settles back into the softly upholstered seat and waits for what he thinks will be at least another few hours. Cursing Jared’s name under his breath, where the hell is he? Jensen takes a few long blinks and tries not to get angry before he knows what happened. The soft hum of a janitor pushing a floor polisher along the dimmed hallways lulls him towards sleep, images of Jared, Gen and him flicker behind his eyelids: bright happy days, just being kids.
The sky is a giant expanse of cerulean blue, the trees fluttering in the warm breeze are so intensely green that Jensen thinks for a second, somewhere in his lizard brain, that he’s dreaming, but he can feel the heat starting to climb, thick with late summer humidity, he sees the little boy across the playground, blond as ever and knows it’s a memory.
Jensen ran back around to the ladder again, ready for another go on the big slide in the park. At least ten rides down it already, he loved the rush and thrill the slide gave him. Big enough now to play on his own, or rather Josh having graduated to skateboarding and older kid stuff, Jensen had commandeered the playground to himself and with that the big slide. It was colossal, so much higher than the other slide; he could see the whole expanse of the park up here. All the smaller kids were either playing in the sandbox or on some of the climbing equipment, nannies and mothers pushing babies on the swings and at the top of the big slide, Jensen was king. He slung his legs into the shoot and let go. The speed which he flew down the bright yellow luge, arms in the air, made his heart pump like crazy. Flying off the end trying to see how far out he could land in the sand, Jensen was having a great time. All by himself.
That was ok, because he didn’t really like the other kids his age. His momma always said it was because Jensen was shy, but that wasn’t really it, or at least he didn’t think so. Jensen just liked to do things other kids didn’t and he was fine with that. He had some friends in class, but none that he spent time with outside of school, except for the required birthday parties. It was always the girl parties he had to go to and he was usually the only boy. Girls were so loud and giggly all the time and nothing they said ever made any sense to Jensen, but there was always cake and a goody bag so he took that as payment for services rendered, at least that’s what his dad told him how to look at it. He didn’t get that either, but just took it. To be honest, the boys weren’t all that nice to him. They teased him a lot, called him Jenny and said he looked like a girl, called him names he knew were bad but didn’t know the meaning of, so he kept his distance.
He liked being by himself. He did, it was just, easier.
As he stood up and brushed the sand off his knees readying for another ride, his momma called for him. “Jensen?”
He looked over to her sitting on the benches with the baby next to her in the stroller. She motioned him to come to her and he sighed and yelled, “Coming!”
He jumped up on to the sidewalk and walked over to her. Donna Ackles was beautiful, with long gold hair, a kind smile and eyes like his. She was talking to a woman seated next to her and laughed when he reached to hug her knees.
“Oh Jensen, you’re all sweaty.” She took a small cloth from her bag and swiped it down his face but Jensen just shook his head away.
“I’m playing mom.” He huffed, eager to get back to it.
She handed him a juice box and as he sucked it down trying to catch his breath, she ran her fingers around his ear said, “Jensen, this is Mrs. Padaletski and her son Jared.” Or at least that’s how it sounded to him.
Mrs. Padaletski nudged a small boy from behind her and scooted him towards Jensen. “Say hi, Jared.”
The boy said nothing, blushing instead under his mass of brown hair. He was much younger than Jensen; no way could he ride the big slide by himself. Jensen finished the juice, threw the container back in the bag, wiped his mouth and asked with a huff, “Can I go back now?”
“Yes, but take Jared with you.” His mom said.
“Mom…” He moaned.
“Go.” She pushed. “I’ll take you for ice cream when were done.”
He looked to the little kid, Jared, and put his hands on his hips. “Well, come on.”
Jared’s mom gave him a pat on the butt and pushed him towards Jensen. “Go on honey, I’ll be right here.”
Jared looked to the ground and ran the toe of his shoe back and forth across the ground. Jensen just rolled his eyes, grabbed his hand and marched him to the little slide.
“You’re too small for the big slide.” He tried to drag Jared up the five steps to the top of the little slide. “This slide is for the babies.”
The kid pulled his hand back hard. “I’m not a baby” Jared snapped.
He pushed past Jensen, climbed up and slid down by himself, turning back to look up at Jensen, who was watching him from the top. “See?”
Jensen followed him down and said, “Okay, you’re not a baby, but I don’t think you should go down the big slide by yourself.”
They walked to the big slide and climbed up the ladder and Jensen pushed Jared down into a sitting position with his legs out front and then sat behind him bracketing Jared with his legs at the top of the shoot. They inched closer and Jared grabbed Jensen’s legs and Jensen pushed them off. They both screamed all the way down.
He wasn’t sure how long they’d been there but he and Jared must have gone down the slide together at least twenty times, played on the swings, the climbing equipment and with some of Jared’s toys. They talked about Star Wars action figures and which cartoons were the coolest and when Jared smiled or laughed dimples would appear on his cheeks.
For a little kid, Jared was ok, Jensen thought.
“You boys ready for some ice cream?” Donna asked.
Both boys jumped up, nodding in agreement.
That night when his mom tucked him into bed, Jensen asked if he was going to be able to play with Jared again. She said she was sure it could be arranged and kissed his forehead.
Jensen thought about the day and Jared, and that when they went for ice cream Jared had asked for the same flavor Jensen ordered.
Jared was smart too.
They spent the rest of their summer playing together.
Either at the park or each other’s homes and they even got to go to the water park a few times. Everything Jensen did, Jared did. He wasn’t scared of anything, Jensen liked that. On several occasions, Jared spent the night at the Jensen’s house and Jensen stayed the night at his house. Sherry Padalecki and his mother would just laugh and called the two of them inseparable. Neither Jared nor Jensen knew what that meant, but they just kept on.
Jensen taught Jared everything he knew about life, like how Lucky Charms were better for you than Apple Jacks because they don’t hurt your mouth and Jared was transfixed, always asking for more.
It was only when their mothers had taken them shopping for clothes did Jensen realize that school was going to be starting and that things were going to change. They wouldn’t be able to see each other every day like they had been, Jensen was going to be in second grade and Jared was just starting kindergarten. They would be at the same school but they wouldn’t have the same lunch or recess and Jared would be home before Jensen.
This wasn’t a fun day.
They put a giant red X’s on the calendars hanging from their respective refrigerators and were counting down the days, trying to cram as much fun in together as they could before summer was over.
It was the Saturday before school started and they were both sitting on the giant sofa in Jensen’s family room, pouting together. Donna had tried to get them to at least go outside and play in the pool but neither wanted to do that. Jared mirrored Jensen with a crushed pillow in his lap and they just slumped down further and looked at nothing special on the television.
Jared finally broke the silence. “We can still play after school, right?”
“I guess, but I’m gonna have to do my homework first and then it’ll be dark.” Jensen sighed.
“We can still play together on the weekends, right?” Jared tried.
“Yeah weekends, until I have to start soccer.” Jensen kicked a pillow onto the floor a drooped across the seat cushion, head landing on Jared’s leg.
“I’m gonna miss you.” Jared gave a crooked half smile down at Jensen.
Jensen sat up and looked at him, “You’re my best friend Jared.”
Just then Josh walked through the room and sneered at them. “What are you babies crying about?”
Jensen grabbed the pillow off the ground and threw it at him, “Shut up jerk.”
Josh threw the pillow back at Jensen and grabbed the remote. Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand and led them to his room.
“I know what we can do. We can write each other letters and say what we’ve been doing during the week.” Jensen was reaching into his new backpack for a pencil and some paper.
“I don’t know how to do that.” Jared cheeks flushed and he looked like he was about to cry. “I’m sorry.”
Jensen got up and hugged him, “It’s ok. I’ll teach you.”
“Jensen?” Jared sniffled.
“Yeah?”
“Promise, you’ll still teach me?” Jared asked, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist.
“Yeah,” He said, giving Jared a squeeze. “I promise.”
“Mr. Ackles?” A voice asks.
A hand is shaking his shoulder gently and Jensen sits up startled. He looks around through sticking contact lenses and it takes a minute for him to remember where he is. Waiting Room. Cedars. Gen.
“Yeah, yes?” His throat’s dry and cracked; he pops his elbow, a left over from one of their many stupid adventures. He stands, shakes out his legs, turning towards the hand. “Yes, I’m Jensen Ackles. How is Gen?”
“Hello Mr. Ackles, I’m Doctor Kincaid, Miss Cortese’s surgeon.” Slightly graying at the temples, he’s a little taller than Jensen; his face has a kindness to it. None of the cold hard cynicism he sees so often in people from New York. “I understand her family cannot be present for at least another day?”
Jensen nods and crosses his arms. “That’s right, they are on their way now, and I know they’ll call me as soon as they are stateside.”
“Generally we can’t give out information to anyone but immediate family. However, given the circumstances and a nurse noted that Miss Cortese repeated to the EMT to call you, I think we can safely assume you are family for all intents and purposes.” His stance relaxing a little more, he motions Jensen to sit back down.
“Thank you, she is my family and I’m hers, have been for almost twenty years.” That number sounds unreal to Jensen, almost twenty years. He can still remember the day they met Gen.
“That’s good; well I’m glad you’re here.” He looks down at the medical chart in his lap, shakes his head a few times and gives a small smile. “While we have her stabilized, her condition is still critical due to her internal injuries and blood loss.”
Jensen swallows hard. “But she’ll be ok?”
He just smiles, and while that’s not entirely reassuring, Jensen relaxes his clenched fists.
“Now Miss Cortese, Genevieve’s condition is a sensitive nature, I trust you understand what that means?” He looks to Jensen for understanding. Jensen nods. “She came in with excessive vaginal bleeding and she had stated to the emergency response operator and the medical technicians that she had taken an Emergency Contraceptive Pill.” He paused to make sure Jensen was following along. “The Morning After pill?”
“Ok?” Jensen says, his voice shaking a bit, as far as he knew she wasn’t seeing anyone. But of the three, that’s always how he thought of them when he thought of them, The Three. She was the Boy Scout, always prepared for whatever came their way. It just didn’t tell him why she took it though.
“She had had an adverse reaction, which is quite uncommon, but when we checked along with her other injuries we saw signs of mass trauma.” The doctor paused again, checking for understanding.
Jensen figured he must have failed.
“I’m sorry son; Miss Cortese was severely raped and beaten.” He put his hand on Jensen’s forearm to ease the shock.
Jensen sat there disbelieving the words; he can feel all the color draining from his face while his heart rate and breathing start to rise.
What? How? Who?
Gen. No.
Where was Jared? Where the fuck is Jared?
His pulse continues to quicken and he swallows hard, eyes welling up as he looks back at the doctor.
“I know this is difficult Mr. Ackles, if you need to me stop I will, we can wait for her family…” He pauses momentarily. “Or rather, for her parents to arrive?”
Jensen shook his head and took a deep breath, rubbing his palms up and down his thighs, bracing himself. “No, please continue.”
“We set two cracked ribs and tended to several contusions around her upper torso and neck. We were able to repair most of the damage to her cervix and uterus, but we had to remove one of her fallopian tubes and one of her ovaries.”
The tears sting his face and for some odd reason with all that Jensen is hearing, learning, he thinks to himself that Doctor Kincaid has a very gentle delivery and at least Gen is in caring hands now. He tries to wipe at his face but the tears are undeterred.
“We’ll have to wait until morning for her OBGYN to confirm, but she should still be able to carry a child to term in the future, if she wishes.” Dr. Kincaid smiles again, albeit faintly.
Jensen is about to break, what the fuck had been going on, how did this happen?
He looks around the waiting room to see if people are watching or worse listening.
Thankfully the only other two people in the room are still asleep as they waited for news of their own loved ones. He doesn’t want strangers hearing these things about Gen, what had happened to her, what the doctors had done for, what things still await her.
Too many thoughts are scrambling through Jensen’s brain. Doctor Kincaid’s soft eyes and pleasant manner, that his socks are still damp from running to the subway without an umbrella, then again to the airport terminal still without an umbrella; the awful artwork hanging on the walls, the nice upholstery on the chairs. Did he left his phone charger on the counter when he ran out of his apartment, the sausage pizza he had eaten hours ago with Andy after they had finished their midterms, it needed more pepper. Genevieve talking to him only two weeks earlier, she had seemed slightly off but then she laughed and asked instead about his studies and when he thought he would be coming home for a visit. He wanted to see her so bad, missed her so much but he hadn’t been sure seeing Jared would be a good thing, so instead he tried to convince her to come to him instead. “The shopping is so much better here.”
He should have come home sooner; he’d already skipped Christmas having gone to Italy to ski instead. Then again, maybe he should never have left California in the first place.
Doctor Kincaid interrupts his thoughts. “We’re going to keep her here a few days for observation. I’ve scheduled a counselor to come talk to her in the morning and the police will want to fill out a report as well. Results from a rape kit can only tell us so much, so if she can tell us what happened and who it was, we can do something about it. Unless you know?”
Jensen is suddenly at attention. “No, no I don’t.”
“Ok.” He nods and stands, Jensen following him. “She’s still in recovery, but we’ll be moving her into a private room soon. If you’d like to go home and you can come back in the morning?” Kincaid asked, seeming to already know the answer was no.
“Can I wait? I’d like to see her.” Jensen pleads.
Dr. Kincaid gives him a small smile. “Sure, it might be a couple more hours, but the nurse will let you know when they’ve moved her.” He puts a hand on Jensen’s shoulder and squeezes. “Her body will mend itself, but she’s going to need her family and friends to get through the rest of it.”
“Thank you Doctor.” Jensen wants to reach forward and hug him, but sticks out his hand instead.
“Get some rest, son.” He starts to walk away then turns back to Jensen. “Take care of her.”
Jensen wants to cry all over again, he was supposed to have been taking care of her. He’d made a promise to her, just as he had to Jared, so many years ago.
In the spring, just after Jensen turned eight years old, the Ackles and the Padaleckis left the sprawl of urban Texas for the Gold Coast of California. The Pacific Palisades to be exact, but all Jensen and Jared were concerned with is that they were still together and that their new home was close to the ocean, Universal Studios and Disneyland.
They had spent the year attached at the hip, as much as they could. Their families joked they must have been conjoined twins separated at birth. They never got the joke, as Jensen was way older than Jared and it didn’t make sense.
In as much as they understood, months before Alan Ackles and Gerry Padalecki had left their jobs and started their own business. They were working together all the time. Jensen and Jared’s moms were also together a lot, giving dinners and throwing parties. They must have all been separated at birth too. Either way it was fine with Jensen, because now he and Jared lived across the street from each other in their new homes and they could have sleepovers whenever they wanted, which was always.
Jensen taught Jared everything he learned in school and Jared just soaked it up like a sponge.
Whenever he got an answer right, like math or spelling, Jensen would give him a hi-five and Jared would smile so wide his dimples would sink in for miles. Often, whatever he made in school that day for arts and crafts, he’d make it for Jensen. Jensen would automatically put it up on his wall of bookshelves and Jared would grab his hand and squeeze it.
“You really like it, Jinsin?” His drawl still forcing his E’s short.
“Are you kidding, it’s great.” Jensen would squeeze his hand back. “Let’s go get a snack.”
They’d run into the kitchen and rummage through the refrigerator and cabinets before they’d each pull out each other’s favorite treats.
Most sleepover nights, they’d end up sharing the same bed having fallen asleep wherever exhaustion took over in their play. By morning Jensen would find Jared curled up under his arm and he didn’t mind it at all.
When Jensen had to have his tonsils taken out Jared played nurse maid for a week, or as much as a five year old could. Donna would let him bring Jensen his Jell-O and juice and he would be constantly checking to make sure Jensen was feeling better and had enough comics and pillows.
Jensen’s throat was still sore and he couldn’t read to Jared as was normal, so Jared took it upon himself to read to Jensen.
“I know it’s a little kid’s book and we already read it lots but it’s the only one I can read all by myself.” Jared gave him a sheepish look but as soon as Jensen smiled and patted the bed Jared beamed and climbed up and got situated to read them Dr. Seuss.
Jensen was nodding off but just before he fell asleep he felt the bed shift a bit and soft lips press against his cheek. He was instantly alert, eyes opening wide. He didn’t say anything, just looked towards Jared as he pulled back, cheeks flaming as though he thought he was getting caught stealing a cookie.
“My mom always kisses me on the cheek when I don’t feel good. She says it makes me heal quicker.” His eyes start to well and he touches his mouth like he can take it back or wipe it away.
Jensen takes his small hand and entwines their fingers; he’s just able to whisper. “I feel better already!”
Jared’s chest puffs up and he squeezes his fingers tight with Jensen’s. “Great, I’m gonna go get you some more Jell-O and then we can watch Animaniacs.”
That wasn’t to say that Jared couldn’t be also mischievous. He could get Jensen to do just about anything when he really wanted. Playing in their dad’s special cars and pretending to drive and smoke cigarettes. Feeding his brother Jeff’s dog peanut butter, just to hear the animal smack his tongue for hours.
One weekend there were a bunch of people in Jared’s backyard, another party, and at this moment he wanted Jensen to go flip that little girl’s skirt up and make her scream.
What happened instead was this.
Jensen ran towards the little girl with the brown hair in pulled into pigtails and she turned abruptly and stuck her foot out, tripping him head first into the grass. Before he even knew what happened Jensen was on the grass looking up at clear blue sky and the little girl was standing over him with her hands on her hips.
“Next time you want to tease someone make sure they can’t hear you.” She sneered.
Jared ran over, eyes big and round, looking down at Jensen, then staring at the girl and looking around to see if anyone was paying them any attention. He went to pull Jensen up at the arm but Jensen shook him off and stood up, wiping the grass off his pants.
They all just stood there looking at each other, not saying a word.
Jensen figured as the tallest--so clearly the oldest and wisest of the group--he’d start.
“I’m sorry.” He reached out to shake her hand, chewing his lip.
Jared mumbled an apology too but still looked guilty, with his hands behind his back. It was his dumb idea after all.
They stood there for another minute not saying anything, just sizing each other up.
“Wanna go climb that tree?” The girl asked, squinting into the sun and pointing towards the far end of the yard.
Jensen and Jared looked at each other just shrugged. “Ok.” Jensen said.
They ran to the big tree in the corner of the Padaleckis yard that Sherry had transplanted from Texas. For the next few hours they played like they were already old friends, running back and forth from the tree to the pool and then back; they ran loops around the house, racing back to the tree, eating food when it was convenient, then back to the tree.
Her name was Genevieve and her dad worked for Jensen and Jared’s, he was a lawyer. She was smaller than Jared but only a year younger than Jensen. For a small thing and a girl, she was tough; her boot having left a bruise on Jensen’s shin earlier, after she had told them no boy would ever see her panties. She had had denim shorts on under her flower print dress.
Gen was as also just daring as they were, never complaining or backing down. By the end of the day, all three were sweaty, breaths heaving. Jensen had a hole in the knee of his pants, Jared was covered in dirt and grass stains and Gen had a pretty good scrape on her elbow that she had wiped blood and dirt off on Jared’s shirt earlier and kept going.
“Maybe we can play again?” She smacked them both in the chest with the flat of her palm and walked straight between them towards her parents, skipping the last few feet into her mother’s embrace. She turned and waved back then stuck her tongue out at them.
That night after baths; Jensen called Jared deciding that maybe they could add her to their group of two, because then they could be a gang of three. The next day they all made it official by spitting into their hands and shaking on it.
After a few weeks they still couldn’t agree on a gang name, but since everyone always referred to them as The Three Amigos, they figured that was good enough.
Jensen shifts in the seat again, he‘s the only one left in the waiting room now and he isn’t leaving. He stretches out his legs and goes to look for a bathroom and some more coffee. He checks his voice mail and still nothing from Jared.
He moves from the seat he’s been in since he got there and tries to get more comfortable on one of the sofas. It’s not much of an improvement but at least he can stretch out his legs. It’s no surprise, even with as annoyed as he currently is, that he thinks of Jared before he falls back to sleep.
Jared sleeps like a crazy person!
He starts out okay but by morning all the blankets on the bed are wrapped around his head which is buried in a mountain of pillows and his legs bare except for a sheet twisted around one.
He’s a huggy sleeper, so he clings and cuddles and shifts.
“But I sleep better with you Jen.” He’d say.
Jensen would never admit it out loud, but he did too.
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