All about

[mrissa]

A couple of times in the last few months, I’ve had reason to say something like, “Sometimes things not being all about us are the worst, honestly.” Because I have had multiple friends and relations who are helping others deal with really bad things, and they have needed to hear it. So I thought I’d put it here, where other people could see it too

Comments

[swan_tower]

Support may need to flow toward the person or people most affected . . . but that doesn't mean it can't and shouldn't flow through other people along the way.

[mrissa]

Exactly.

[aedifica]

Oh, I like that way of putting it!

[blairmacg]

Very much so.

When I was in charge of hospice care for my late husband, his cancer wasn't about me. But my role as a caregiver certainly was. The folks who were *outside* his caregiving circle but *inside* mine were the ones who made those days endurable.

Sometimes having a somewhat-removed person say, "That totally sucks for you," is the greatest gift ever. It enabled me to dump all those feelings sans guilt--without impacting those who faced even worse things--which opened space in my emotional landscape for patience, acceptance, and, frankly, dealing with the stuff that sucked.

[atheilen]

This is just to say, I really admire your ongoing effort not only to be compassionate, but also to model compassion for others and show them a way of doing that in the world. So many assume it doesn't need to be learned or practiced, that it is something innate. When I read your posts I always want to try again.

Hang in there, yourself.

[dichroic]

+1

[mrissa]

Thank you for all of this comment.

[teadog1425]

I completely agree with this, and I also am very grateful for your thoughtful and kind posts and actions!

[ckd]

A useful reminder, especially for me right now. In the past six days, I have thrice been a person to talk to/hang out with/etc during a rough patch...for three different friends.

(But Fourth Street soon!)

[redbird]

Part of what got me through the part of last year when the most important thing I was dealing with wasn't about me, was that I could turn and lean on my partners.