Essay Test

[mrdankelly]

1. Some people say the Velvet Undergound were the greatest rock band ever. Explain. Use both sides of the paper and attempt to answer without rolling your eyes, making disdainful "psssh!" noises, or employing other band names as adjectives. True or False: Is your answer crafted in fear that your buddies may be listening

Comments

[ludickid]

5. It is common to assume that one's own aesthetic values are universal. Is this assumption correct? Does the existence of people with aesthetic criteria at variance with your own automatically require pretension, mindless conformity, bitterness, ignorance, or a lack of vaguely defined qualities like "joy" and "love"?

[mrdankelly]

6. Have I recently become the final arbiter of aesthetics worldwide without my knowledge, or am I merely expressing an opinion humorously, largely fueled by self-parody because, God knows, I have it coming?

7. If I have in fact become the final arbiter of aesthetics worldwide, where the fuck is my paycheck? Is there some sort of hat involved, or should I provide my own? Compare/contrast this head garment with the pope's triple tiara.

8. Is satire dead? Prepare a mock coroner's report indicate method by which it was assassinated.

[buscemi]

1. I never could get into the Velvet Underground, either.

2. Because, you know, it's like, art, man. It comes from the soul (or something.)

3. How could anybody take the Shaggs seriously?

4. The only song of theirs I even remember is Digging Your Scene. That's a pretty random musical reference, Dan. What's going on over there? ;)

[mrdankelly]

That's a pretty random musical reference, Dan.

That was the point. Think of it this way: Using a performer like Britney Spears would have been too obviously lame. So I picked some random 80s pop band one might have liked in high school; obscure but not in a "cool" way (the Blow Monkeys aren't Iggy and the Stooges, according to rock critic X, Y, and Z). This randomness thereby makes the act of knee-jerkedly criticizing the band the critic hasn't thought of in decades even more arbitrary and bizarre.

[matthardwick]

1. The Velvet Underground were the greatest rock band ever because Lou Reed, John Cale, and (at least for the first album, anyway) Nico used to be in it. It also inspired a whole lotsa Punk RAWKrszz that I cannot name because of your "employing other band names as adjectives" prohibition. Or at least Reed, Cale, and maybe Nico did, anyway.

Oh, yeah, and Andy Warhol was involved, thereby influencing a whole lotta art RAWK pretense, some good, some bad.

True or False: Is your answer crafted in fear that your buddies may be listening?

Probably False.

2. Well, the notion of Excess is supposedly tantamount to the notion of Rebellion, even though Cake's "Rock N' Roll Lifestyle" was able to conclusively argue against this in the space of 3-4 minutes or so...

3. Erm, who are the Shaggs? They a real band, or something?
;-)

I always thought they were akin to the Banana Splits or whatever that early-70s group of people who dressed up in cartoon animal costumes was called. Perhaps because Shaggs puts me in mind The Shaggy Dog

[seriesfinale]

I know it's wrong

IIIIIIII know it's wrong

[mrdankelly]

Psssh!

[gargamehl]

Ever know an atonal whistler? Any tips to keep them from whistling?

[mrdankelly]

A ball gag?