OOM: with Nathaniel

[mr_smarty_vamp]

Damian did as Moon suggested, waiting a night and day to give Nathaniel a bit of time to work through what he had told the wereleopard. He can only imagine what thoughts have been running through Nathaniel's mind since then, and he wants to help if the leopard will allow him close

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[one_of_her_boys]

Nathaniel scents Damian immediately, and he looks up from his book. He's spent the day in his room after leaving Jason's bed, just trying not to think too much. Some of what Jason has said has been rattling about, mixing unpleasantly with the knowledge that he's the only one Anita won't make love with, but for the most part, he's tried to simply not think. Hence, the book.

He sets it aside and sits up in the bed, the sheet and blanket pooled around his lap, his hair loose, creating an auburn cloak about him. Nathaniel thinks to put on a shirt, but Damian came here. His domain, so to speak, and he will remain comfortable. Nathaniel calls out a greeting, his hands in his lap as his eyes remain steady on the door.

[one_of_her_boys]

Lavender eyes dart to Damian.

"Because she thinks I'm broken, Damian. All I am is broken to her. Perverted and twisted and something she has to rationalize away."

And it hurts Nathaniel's heart to be seen like that. Yes, Gabriel had stripped him of his limits, stripped him of so much, but he was still Nathaniel. At the heart of him is the person he always was, and he just wishes Anita could see that.

[mr_smarty_vamp]

Damian's eyes fill with a deeply seated sadness as they move to meet Nathaniel's gaze.

He doesn't know what to say, how to aid his friend, and after several seconds of silence, he asks, "What can I do?"

[one_of_her_boys]

Nathaniel shakes his head, looking away.

"You can't do anything," he murmurs. "You can't make her see me."

[mr_smarty_vamp]

The ache in Damian's chest grows sharp at that.

"No, I can't," he whispers, sorrow lacing the words, "but I see you..."

[one_of_her_boys]

There's a smile for that, and Nathaniel squeezes Damian's hand a little.

"I'm glad. At least Asher and you see me. I should be happy with that."

He should be.

And he feels ashamed that he isn't.

[mr_smarty_vamp]

Damian smiles his sad smile. He knows he isn't an adequate replacement for Anita. They are very different individuals, and he knows Nathaniel feels differently for them both. That doesn't bother him. He just wishes he could help.

Moon had said that Nathaniel wants desperately to feel that his love is enough, to be able to love and be loved, and Damian recalls the tranquillity he enjoyed when he admitted aloud what he feels for Nat.

It is fear that usually keeps him from taking action, and he still feels it deep within. At this moment, however, he pushes it aside, because some things are just more important than the possible consequences. Leaning over Nathaniel, he presses their lips together.

[one_of_her_boys]

Nathaniel's eyes spring open wide as he stares up at Damian, the scent of the vampire filling his nose as he takes note of the soft lips against his own. They'd not kissed. They'd never kissed. Kissing, to Nathaniel, is intimate. It's something he hadn't done as a whore with his johns.

He swallows, pulling back a little, licking his lips, tasting Damian. "Why did you do that?" he whispers, heart racing.

[mr_smarty_vamp]

It's wonderful, the hint of Nathaniel that lingers on his lips. It's more intimate contact than he has initiated with his friend before, but it just feels so good, so right in the moment.

He pulls back just a little more, far enough so their eyes can focus on one another, but close enough so that he can still feel the heat of the wereleopard's body, the racing of Nathaniel's pulse.

"Because I love you." Damian thought it would be terribly difficult to tell Nathaniel, to say the simple words that are laced with such meaning and invested with so much emotion, but that isn't the case. The words are true, and Damian values honesty. "It might not be the same love that Asher feels, or Anita, but I love you."

[one_of_her_boys]

Nathaniel's wide eyes just stare at Damian, those words echoing in his ears. Damian... but... when had... this was...

"You love me?" he asks, tongue thick in his mouth. "Why?" Nathaniel shakes his head a little. "I don't want you loving me because you hurt my feelings, because Anita won't open her eyes."

[mr_smarty_vamp]

Damian's brows knit together, his expression subtle, but disapproving. "Anita has nothing to do with this. You know me better than that, Nathaniel."

[one_of_her_boys]

Color suffuses his cheeks.

"I do," he murmurs. Nathaniel raises a hand to touch Damian's cheek, stroke down the sharp features. "You love me." A slow, hesitant smile begins to curve Nathaniel's lips. "And you kissed me."

[mr_smarty_vamp]

The voice in Damian's head that had been whispering that he had made a mistake in his actions is silenced at the sight of that smile.

"You noticed," he manages to tease softly. Nathaniel's hand is warm against his skin, and the touch comforts him, calms some of his fears.

[one_of_her_boys]

"I always figured I'd have to take you by surprise, steal a kiss," he says, fingers moving to Damian's lips. "It's not your fault." His eyes dart between Damian's lips and his eyes. "I shouldn't have pulled away from you. You've wanted her to touch you for so long now, I should have been happy for you. I'm sorry."

[mr_smarty_vamp]

Part of Damian still tells him to pull away, to not let Nathaniel closer, but he squashes it without mercy. He speaks with Nathaniel's fingertips at his lips. It's a rather strange sensation, to talk around them, but not an unpleasant one.

"It was unexpected. I asked her for an explanation of her actions and a reassuring touch. She... surprised the hell out of me." There is a glimmer of happiness in his eyes, but it is only there for a moment. "I don't regret what happened, but the knowledge that it hurt you saddened me. I don't like hurting you, Nat. You're my friend... the first I've had in centuries."

He decides to speak very frankly, because if he can't trust Nathaniel with the information, then he can trust no one. "I haven't felt love in many centuries, Nathaniel. My last close friend..." His voice fades for a moment, shadows appearing in the depths of his eyes. "He died a terrible death. I'm not very good at letting people close."

[one_of_her_boys]

Nathaniel smiles at Damian, wrapping his arms around the vampire's neck