Running

Apr 24, 2006 20:29

Hey my peeps. It's been a while ( Read more... )

poetry

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Comments 4

garuparu90 April 25 2006, 01:05:36 UTC
You are basically awesome.
Mhm.
Yup, I said it.

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godseth April 25 2006, 02:03:44 UTC
Seth likes.

One suggestion I have is to change "in front" in the last verse paragraph to a single word like "ahead" to more fit with the pattern you have established in the first 3.

That was a bad explanation...:
Running ahead
ahead of the leaders
self loathing hordes of lifeless lords
but stuck where I am and soon to nest

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mr_pasquini April 25 2006, 02:22:23 UTC
Good call seth! It shall be done!

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dreamof_requiem April 25 2006, 11:04:37 UTC
can you say dissonance?
never stop writing, mon.

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