Rome, 2pm local time / E-Mail, with attachment
Parker later thought the whole mess could have been avoided if she'd just gone to the beach. Sadly for her and her brand-new mini-Cooper, it was not to be.
"Oi! Girlie!"
Parker turned to glare at whatever jerk thought this was the kind of pick-up line that worked on her, then gaped at the guy carrying a two-foot bronze statue (Bernini, was her guess) who was pointing a Glock in her face as he jumped into her convertible. "Drive!"
"The hell--" He cocked the gun, and glared. "Right." Shouts from the Galleria Borghese down the block, and many, many carabinieri headed their way. Parker put the car in drive and stepped on the gas, glad her hands were working. "Which way?"
"The Corso D'Italia, there's a good girl." He was glancing behind them, which gave her a chance to snarl into the rear-view before taking a left onto Via Isonzo. "And then to the airport."
"Where you'll just let me go," Parker said dubiously.
"Course. Got no reason to keep ya." He flashed a meaningless smile at her, and Parker rolled her eyes. "Just need ya to drive. Busted my wrist in there." She checked, and yes, he was holding it awkwardly; it looked sprained, possibly even broken.
"Ah." And a quick left onto Via Po. Sirens in the distance had Parker's shoulders hunching as the dee-dah deeee-dahh grated on her ears.
"Oi, you're going the wrong way!" Her carjacker glared at her, shoving the gun close to her face. "This gun means I'm the conductor! You go right! Right!"
"It's a one way street, you moron," Parker spit out. "What the hell did you do to get so many to chase you at once? Moon them?"
"Take the next right you can, princess, and don't give me any lip. And no! I just, kinda..." And he actually looked sheepish. "Mighta kissed one, on my way out, as a distraction, like."
"Terrific." Please don't let them shoot at them, please don't let them shoot at them, please don't let them shoot at them....
"So what's your name?"
Parker gave him an incredulous look, and took advantage of his leering at her to take another left onto Via Tevere, trying to lose the police, and head for her ultimate destination. "Are you for real?"
"No, I'm Rob. Nice ta meet ya. Ever wanted to date an international art thief, princess?"
"Never." Sweet merciful God, who had she annoyed to deserve this? Somewhere, Jarod was laughing his ass off.
"Right! Right! Right, that's better," he said in satisfaction. He pressed the gun closer to her cheek. "I don't think I like your tone, little girl."
Parker accelerated down Via Jacopo Peri. "Really. And why is that?"
"I'm the one with the gun! Show some bleeding respect! I'm the one with the power here. Gun trumps attitude!"
"Ahhh. But I?" Parker slammed on the gas as they got within sight of the Grand Hotel Beverly Hills-- and the huge fountain in front. Leaning on the horn, she yelled, "Am the one with the car, wise-ass. Car smashes gun!"
"Whut? OI!"
>>>>CRASSSHHHHH<<<<<<
The police were ever so nice to her, congratulating her on keeping her head and getting out of the crashed car before Rob regained consciousness. They even liked the swooning artistically into the arms of the nearest cute carabinieri. Giulio, Antonio, and Paulo were very very sweet to her, fetching her ice packs and drinks and pillows and such. The inspector was most impressed with her calm, and Parker left the police station with the phone numbers of many helpful police officers in Rome. Because you never know when you might need those again.
Rob was extradited to London for another art heist, bitterly cursing her all the way to the airport.
The mini-Cooper was a goner, sadly. But Mr. Parker was more than happy to give Parker yet another car, on the understanding that she wouldn't total it quite so spectacularly as the last one.
And the Museo very nicely gave Parker a scaled-down reproduction copy of the statue in question: Apollo and Daphne.
TO: F-list (Seniors, friends, Teal Dear, Weiss, grads from last year)
FROM: Parker (versaceforever@gmail.com)
SUBJECT: When in Rome...
Do not, repeat, not stop for anyone who calls you 'girlie'. Even if it's just to glare at them. You can end up wrecking your car just to get away from them.
On the other hand? Italian cops are very, very solicitous if you've just managed to thwart evil. Keep this in mind.
Angela? Xander? Look at my new souvenir! Food for flashbacks! Man, I miss Lee some days.
Ciao,
Parker
Attachment: Apollo and Daphne.
[ooc: NFB, IC & OOC comments always enjoyed.]
"Oi! Girlie!"
Parker turned to glare at whatever jerk thought this was the kind of pick-up line that worked on her, then gaped at the guy carrying a two-foot bronze statue (Bernini, was her guess) who was pointing a Glock in her face as he jumped into her convertible. "Drive!"
"The hell--" He cocked the gun, and glared. "Right." Shouts from the Galleria Borghese down the block, and many, many carabinieri headed their way. Parker put the car in drive and stepped on the gas, glad her hands were working. "Which way?"
"The Corso D'Italia, there's a good girl." He was glancing behind them, which gave her a chance to snarl into the rear-view before taking a left onto Via Isonzo. "And then to the airport."
"Where you'll just let me go," Parker said dubiously.
"Course. Got no reason to keep ya." He flashed a meaningless smile at her, and Parker rolled her eyes. "Just need ya to drive. Busted my wrist in there." She checked, and yes, he was holding it awkwardly; it looked sprained, possibly even broken.
"Ah." And a quick left onto Via Po. Sirens in the distance had Parker's shoulders hunching as the dee-dah deeee-dahh grated on her ears.
"Oi, you're going the wrong way!" Her carjacker glared at her, shoving the gun close to her face. "This gun means I'm the conductor! You go right! Right!"
"It's a one way street, you moron," Parker spit out. "What the hell did you do to get so many to chase you at once? Moon them?"
"Take the next right you can, princess, and don't give me any lip. And no! I just, kinda..." And he actually looked sheepish. "Mighta kissed one, on my way out, as a distraction, like."
"Terrific." Please don't let them shoot at them, please don't let them shoot at them, please don't let them shoot at them....
"So what's your name?"
Parker gave him an incredulous look, and took advantage of his leering at her to take another left onto Via Tevere, trying to lose the police, and head for her ultimate destination. "Are you for real?"
"No, I'm Rob. Nice ta meet ya. Ever wanted to date an international art thief, princess?"
"Never." Sweet merciful God, who had she annoyed to deserve this? Somewhere, Jarod was laughing his ass off.
"Right! Right! Right, that's better," he said in satisfaction. He pressed the gun closer to her cheek. "I don't think I like your tone, little girl."
Parker accelerated down Via Jacopo Peri. "Really. And why is that?"
"I'm the one with the gun! Show some bleeding respect! I'm the one with the power here. Gun trumps attitude!"
"Ahhh. But I?" Parker slammed on the gas as they got within sight of the Grand Hotel Beverly Hills-- and the huge fountain in front. Leaning on the horn, she yelled, "Am the one with the car, wise-ass. Car smashes gun!"
"Whut? OI!"
>>>>CRASSSHHHHH<<<<<<
The police were ever so nice to her, congratulating her on keeping her head and getting out of the crashed car before Rob regained consciousness. They even liked the swooning artistically into the arms of the nearest cute carabinieri. Giulio, Antonio, and Paulo were very very sweet to her, fetching her ice packs and drinks and pillows and such. The inspector was most impressed with her calm, and Parker left the police station with the phone numbers of many helpful police officers in Rome. Because you never know when you might need those again.
Rob was extradited to London for another art heist, bitterly cursing her all the way to the airport.
The mini-Cooper was a goner, sadly. But Mr. Parker was more than happy to give Parker yet another car, on the understanding that she wouldn't total it quite so spectacularly as the last one.
And the Museo very nicely gave Parker a scaled-down reproduction copy of the statue in question: Apollo and Daphne.
TO: F-list (Seniors, friends, Teal Dear, Weiss, grads from last year)
FROM: Parker (versaceforever@gmail.com)
SUBJECT: When in Rome...
Do not, repeat, not stop for anyone who calls you 'girlie'. Even if it's just to glare at them. You can end up wrecking your car just to get away from them.
On the other hand? Italian cops are very, very solicitous if you've just managed to thwart evil. Keep this in mind.
Angela? Xander? Look at my new souvenir! Food for flashbacks! Man, I miss Lee some days.
Ciao,
Parker
Attachment: Apollo and Daphne.
[ooc: NFB, IC & OOC comments always enjoyed.]